Calm down !!!
Four of our best young players have found themselves promoted to the first team squad which is good in the respect of showing that we mean business with our academy and excellent in that they don’t count as being one of the 25 squad players allowed in the Premier League as they’re under 21. Two midfielders in James Ward-Prowse and Calum Chambers along with right back Jack Stephens and left back Luke Shaw who has not yet signed for Arsenal or Chelsea or either Manchester club.
To date there has been just the one incoming transfer with long term target Jay Rodriguez joining for an undisclosed fee which is rumoured to be around the £6 miillion mark but no one knows how it’s staged with appearance bonus and all the other shte that always happens when youngsters get transferred. It’s odd that J Rod is the only signing so far as it’s in a position that we are quite well covered in. Radhi’s retirement and Aaron Martin going on loan for a season to Crystal Palace means that we are two light at centre back where,aside from Jose Fonte and Jos Hooiveld, we have Dan Seaborne who I don’t think is equipped to mark Van Persie and Aguero and all those other half decent strikers in the Prem. Bart going means that laughably, an injury to Kelvin Davis would currently mean that joke squad member Tommy Forecast would be first choice.
Spending big on J Rod at the start of the summer has of course seen us linked with absolutely everyone including some hilarious ones (Leon Best, Yakubu). One rumour that won’t go away is Jack Butland, the Birmingham keeper who went to Euro 2012 for the experience and he’s also been named in the Olympic Squad for Team GB. It’s a decent fit but rumours of a £6 million bid are (I hope) not true as it’s a stupid amount for a kid who has only played a few games in League 2. Alexander Buttner, a left sided utility player from Vitesse Arnhem has been quoted as saying he wants to come here, implying that a deal is imminent and he said some cool stuff about the club and the area which is always nice to hear. Leaking that could earn him a Cortese Horses head surprise wake up call though.
The Season ticket prices were announced and truth be told, I as a little bit disappointed that mine went up from £515 to £675, not as disappointed as my old man though who saw a hike from £415 to £695 which was due to their being no concessions for over 65’s in the block where we sit which have now been designated as ‘Premium seats’. Considering all the folk around me last year were over 65, it’s a pretty cynical decision in my opinion though if I have to listen to the Chuckle Brothers again, it will at least be with the consolation that it’s cost them a fucking fortune. The final kicker is that I’d like to get my nearly 8 year old son a ticket for this season but another £675 isn’t on the agenda so I either put up with a year of moaning as he doesn’t go or I go through the fannying about process of moving seats, buying another one and ending up no doubt getting a much worse view. It would be amusing (not) if we moved and found that the Chuckle Brothers had moved as well and were still one row behind us.
The pre-season friendlies were finalised with the Markus Liebherr Trophy being the first one with Arsenal and Rangers being our opponents. The visit of Rangers prompted some mirth as according to Pompey fans, they are their brothers in debt and a mooted game between the two had never emerged. Solidarity brothers, against the evil oppressors who want back the money we owe them, how very dare they!!!.... it’s like something straight out of Monty Python. The cringingly embarrassing PompeyGers movement has been set up on social networks and everything... it’s just extremely sad. So, instead of playing them, they’re playing us... oh no, wait a minute, they’re not as their financial position is so diabolical that they’ve had to withdraw and been replaced with Anderlecht. The amusing footnote to this is that some of the PompeyGers morons were going to buy tickets to support their new mates at SMS despite Pompey having a friendly that day. I hope they did rush out and spend £25 and we give them 2% of 20% as a refund…. that’s 10p.
Bearing in mind the season ticket hike, the Club dropped a bollock in my view by pricing the Markus Liebherr Memorial Cup at £25 for an adult. I decided not to go at that point and everyone I’ve spoken to has decided the same so I reckon that a 5000 gate maximum awaits the teams, the same as last year in a clear case of past mistakes not being learned from. Possibly in reaction to the reaction to the prices, the club have issued a kind of pre-season ticket for the Memorial Cup and other home friendlies (Udinese, Ajax, Wolves) so it’s £47 for the lot. Personally I’ll be saving my money but it’s good that the club at least tried.
The day before the proper fixtures came out we got the usual ‘In the know’ bollocks from people who assured us all that we were playing away at West Ham on the opening day so it came as no surprise to anyone that we weren’t in East London at all but in Eastlands to play the Champions away in our opening game. Wigan at home is up after that followed by Man United at home and Arsenal away… fucking hell, what a start. Five points from that lot and we should be delighted. The Derby against Portsmouth is on the 12th of Never in another Dimension. I’ll take the tough fixtures first all day long to be honest and would rather get them out of the way.
Our creative department, Mr N.Adkins and Mr R.Lambert decided that as a Premier League team , we of course needed a Premier League kit and we’ve gone for Liverpool’s. It’s all red shirts, shorts and socks with white pinstripes on the shirt and reminds me of Ian Rush and Crown Paints sponsorship in the 1980’s when Nigel was an apprentice at Anfield. The away kit was a white version with red pinstripes and there has been a predictable over-reaction with some of the more frothing-at-the-mouth objectors accusing us of selling our soul, like Cardiff City who have swapped from blue to red as it’s going to make them more money. I’m really not sure how that’s going to work for them. Saints are marketing the kits alongside eachother with emphasis on the red and white spread over the two kits and predictably, Tadanari Lee (white kit) has been at the forefront of the advertising campaign alongside Scouse Sir Rickie in the Liverpool one. Personally, I think it’s a decent idea to try something different as with kits changing every year now, countless variations on red and white stripes would get a bit dull – at least it’s different and after a week, it’s growing on me already. It’s not fantastic by any means but it really isn’t worth slashing your wrists over.
As I write we have those oh so predictable stories hitting the internet regarding Luke Shaw moving, only this time it’s to Chelsea or The Graveyard of Any Young English Player to give them their full title. Josh McEachran anyone? Still it’s different not to see Arsenal’s name in the frame. £4m will be enough to force Nigel Adkins to sell him apparently and we’ll have no choice as we are little Southampton – don’t think so, wankers. I’m not sure if this is a good thing for us or not but having escaped from Chelsea reserves, Jack Cork has been selected for the Team GB Olympic squad – a sure sign that all our now Premier League players are much better than they were in April in the Championship. Expect Danny Fox, Jos Hooiveld, Jose Fonte, Morgan Schneiderlin and maybe even Adam Lallana to be representing their country soon...
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