League 1 Match 35 - Southampton 2 Sheffield Wednesday 0

"I believe in Entertaining Football"

5.20 is a bloody stupid time to kick off as you lose track of where you’re supposed to be and at what time. It was about 4pm and I was in Royal Victoria Country Park trying to get the kids to cycle in the general direction of the car and getting very agitated with the dog who was having none of my ‘come here and you’ll get a biscuit’ logic. Little bastard.

In a week that had seen another win for Huddersfield and another win for Peterborough, we had been in the papers due to Nigel making an enquiry to Reading about trying to sign former Saints trainee Brian Howard. As we all know, Saints don’t talk about transfer business until the deal is done but that doesn’t stop the gobshites at other clubs like Brian McDermott who prefer to be in the papers. Nigel’s admission that he was looking to the loan market in the light of Oscar the Ninja’s tackle last week meant it was a veritable feast for the Echo who actually had something to dig into. Other news is that our game on Saturday v Plymouth has been called off as Plymouth have 3 international call ups – Scilly Isles B, Hayling Island U-21s and Isle of Wight U-14s. This is a bit of a joke really but rules are rules I guess. It’s a right pain though as it loads another game into April but at least Alex Chamberlain will be available for us.

Due to the aforementioned crap kick off time, we had the benefit of knowing the other scores with Huddersfield only drawing and Bournemouth continuing their implosion with their 3rd defeat on the bounce. Brighton were playing as well but to be honest, they don’t even register on the radar any more. They won and we aren’t going to catch them.

To Sheffield Wednesday and a reminder that at the start of the season, I predicted them to be one of our main challengers at the top of the league. Got that a bit wrong didn’t I. Their manager, Alan Irvine was sacked and the best they could come up with as a replacement was Gary Megson. One day in the future when I write a best-seller called “Football People I Don’t Like”, Gary Megson will get a mention. He was a horrible player, did nothing except hold your shirt and niggle, the kind you have to hate and he played for fucking Norwich amongst others. As a manager, I think it’s safe to assume that his team talks will never include the word ‘entertainment’, nor the phrase ‘passing on the floor’. He’s the manager your club gets in when it’s already completely fucked as he gives disgruntled fans a new hate figure and they stop going on about the Chairman / Board etc. I bet the Owls fans were delighted when he got put in charge, only consoling themselves with the fact that it could have been Iain Dowie. Megson’s loan signing for this week is Gary Jones who is a 6 foot 5 ish monster of a centre half – wasn’t going to be a creative midfielder was it… When I was on the way to the game, I was approaching the stadium with a chant of “You’ve only come to see the Wednesday” ringing in my ears. You’ve gotta love that haven’t you.

Saints have kept it simple with the same starting XI as against Bournemouth. The bench sees the return of The Gulyman and the Bartman and it also sees the pointless inclusion of both Seaborne and Martin when one or the other would be fine. What’s happened to Ryan Dickson – surely a better option.

We start well with Sir Rickie turning the centre back only to be dragged back for a yellow card. Following his free kick against Bournemouth last week we were hopeful and though he hit the target, the 14 year old keeper gathered well. Ten minutes of nothing much and Saints created the next chance when Butters overhit a ball down the line to Chaplow who was alert enough the collect the rebound off the corner flag and feed Lallana, whose shot was saved.

Oohs and Ahhs on 25 minutes as a corner was headed up in the air, expertly chested down and flicked against the post by Radhi Jaidi who had already been flagged for offside. Wednesday were trying to funnel all our attacks down the middle where all of their 11 players were. We needed to get wide but for some reason, we went narrow in midfield with Adam in the hole and Chappers and Alex narrow in midfield. As a result of this we handed initiative to Wednesday for who Teale and Osbourne were playing with purpose and the former in particular was looking good until it came to passing the ball to a team mate. Half time arrived at the end of another poor fifteen minutes or so and not much threat from either side.

At half time I listened in to the Chuckle Brothers giving it some serious inane drivel. Today I will focus on the one who made duck noises through his programme. Like I’ve said, he thinks he’s funny – much like the embarrassing old uncle who you see at weddings and you have to go and talk to him cos your mum makes you, even though it is generally accepted by all that he is a complete wanker. Duck Noise Bloke’s specialist ‘humour’ is spoonerisms. You know, when you swap the start of one word with the start of the next ... Chish and Fips, Bate Skastards etc. It’s only funny when you do it by accident – just yelling out ‘Licky Rambert’ in the middle of a game during a quiet bit is not funny. Likewise, saying ‘Pit the Loast’ when Jaidi hit the post, is not funny either. Wucking Fanker.

Second half and we always play better in the second half don’t we? I thought we’d taken the lead on 50 minutes when an attack was half cleared and Hammond hit a superb shot arrowing towards the bottom corner but the keeper got down well to palm it wide. The goal was coming though and it was a very direct goal in the end as Chamberlain’s left wing corner was powerfully met by Jose Fonte who got above Jones and bulleted it past the keeper.

Megson responds to going 1-0 down by taking off their best player. As Osbourne departs, I assume he must be injured. Before too long it’s 2-0 and game over as Barnard bursts past a couple on the right before seeing his shot deflected up and falling to Sir Rickie who adjusts his feet well and smashes it in the net, giving the keeper no chance. It’s a fabulous bit of technique and makes me ponder how good Sir Rickie could be if he got himself really fit and firing.

A riot is threatening to be run now and Chappers cuts in from the right and floats in a cross over the where Lallana meets it first time and drills it against the near post.
Sheffield Wednesday make another sub and the Northam Stand 11 year olds shout ‘Who?’ when Darren Potter’s name is read out. They probably don’t realise that he used to play for us and they also probably don’t realise that he’s really not going to make a difference.

Chambo is about to be substituted so he runs at the full back and cuts in again before curling a left footed shot which is going in the top corner until the keeper sticks out his right arm and expertly claws it away. Off goes Alex to be replaced on the wing by The Gulyman.

Guly is showing all of his Samba skill and making an impression as the game dies down. Then he works himself free on the right and from the bye-line, swings his right foot at the ball to deliver a cross, only to nudge it with his left foot first. The resulting airshot results in him falling in a heap on the ground, in a display of Gobernesque uncoordination. As he got to his feet, he acknowledged the crowd with wave and a smile so fair play, a sense of humour. The next time the ball was played to him, he superbly flicked it round the full back and was hauled down to earn the full back a yellow card from the moron with the whistle.

Johnno Pace comes on for Barney with a few minutes left but has no time to make an impression and Lallana, our most skilful player, is replace like-for-like with Danny Seaborne ?!!?!?! A word too for the ref and the word is ‘twat’. The best refs are the ones you don’t notice but we all noticed this guy. Lambert and Barnard get hammered all game and were given nothing and Wednesday get given a free kick every time Jose or Radhi even jump. I know it’s the oldest whinge in the book to say the ref was biased but sometimes.... Still, he got the final whistle right and another 3 points in the bag.

As we filed out down the stairs I got a little accidental shove off of Duck Noise Bloke as he filed onto the gangway. It was a glorious opportunity to lean on him and give him a little nudge down the stairs. I’m not going to tell you if I did it or not.

It’s another game and another win in which we played as well as we had to in order to get the points. Some may criticize the performance but I bet the Huddersfield fans wish they’d played averagely and ground out a win today. It was relatively easy in the end as Wednesday had very little to offer. Defensively they were ok and Osbourne looked a monster in midfield until he went off. Creatively though, they were non-existent with some energy from Teale and Madine but the end product was just not there. They had no idea once we went in front and seemed to want to hold onto a 0-2 scoreline for the last 20 minutes. It’s a worry for them as they are a massive club with a massive ground and a big history. As we know very well though, you get morons running the club though and see where it gets you.... still, we’d only come to watch the Wednesday and the Wednesday weren’t very good.

Nigel diverted from buses and went horse racing for today’s analogy, likening us to Red Rum, being miles behind but winning the race. We’re racing for second place though Nigel unless Brighton are Devon Lock and fall over right on the line.

On Tuesday we have Charlton and Bradley Wright-Phillips away. After a resurgence when Chris Powell was appointed, they’ve been losing every week so it’s another game where we have to go there believing we can win and win we must. As I write, Peterborough are playing the Fake Dons – come on you Fakes!.