Funny place to name a ground after
It’s all been pretty quiet since the Walsall disaster. A couple of players have been wheeled out to dish out bland statements – Butterfield about the Walsall game and Hammond about the forthcoming Colchester game. Deano used to play for them of course. Nigel Adkins has hinted at dipping into the loan market and said we just have to go again and try and go on a run of winning matches. All bland and obvious but what else can he say to be fair. Since Gordon Strachan, we have had a succession of managers that only seem to answer a question in one style, be it after a win or a defeat. This can the impression of not really being honest or not having the faintest idea what’s going on. Adkins is always positive – quoting from his ‘How to be a Modern Manager’ Text Book, Poortvliet always talked in riddles, complete bollix and Burley just sounded depressed and mumbled stuff that made no sense at all. I think that it’s only being being a bit up and down that you show your emotions and really connect with fans because that’s what fans are like – we’re the best or we’re the worst. Strachan kind of did this which is one of the reasons why he’s one of our more popular of our last 53 managers – oh yeah, and there was the 8th place in the Prem finish and the FA Cup Final appearance. Pardew was another who showed what he thought and usually did so with some intelligence. I particularly remember him being fed up with the negativity surrounding us.
So – Colchester away at the Weston Shore Care Home Silly Name Park Stadium. In the absence of any firm injury progress updates on either Bart, Seaborne, Chambo, Morgan or the Gulyman, I expected a predictable line-up with Jaidi playing for a 3rd time in 7 days as the manager doesn’t trust Aaron Martin, Chappers and Deano in the centre and Barney and Sir Rickie up front…. And that’s what I got. The good news being that Chambo was fit to start. Notables in the Colchester line up include Kayode Odejayi who is the size of a enormous tree and about as mobile. Also, they have Lloyd James football genius, Saint of old who demonstrated great versatility in being very average in several positions.
I’m struggling to keep in touch with todays game because I’m at Southampton Ski Centre, bombing down the slopes in an inflatable ring thing. The theory is simple – you go down the slope and then do an impression of a Crash Test Dummy as you smash into a padded wall at the bottom. If you hit it backwards you get whiplash, forwards you break you ankles and sideways your brain bounces off both sides of the inside of your skull – it’s great and it’s my daughters birthday so I have to do it.
It is fairly common for Saints league matches to open up with a period of one-way traffic but it’s usually away from our goal and not towards it. After 20 minutes we had stats of 35% possession, nil shots on target, nil shots off target. Davis made a decent block from Mooney after 5 minutes after Fonte had miscontrolled the ball and we weren’t dealing with Colchester Technical Game Plan whereby the ball is bombed on top of Odejayi, 6ft 6ish massive bloke whenever Colchester get it within 70 yards our your goal. Aidy Hoofroyd brought them this approach when he was manager and even though he has long gone, they seem to have kept the style. On 20 minutes we went ahead on one stat when we went 1-0 up on the yellow card count when Lee Barnard got booked for trashing someone.
The game changed on the half hour mark when we got a free kick on the edge of the Colchester box for Clarke’s repeat assault on Barnard. Up stepped Sir Rickie to smash it off of Barnard on the end of the wall and it turned into a perfect pass to Chamberlain to tap home for 1-0.
A minute later it got even better for Saints as Davis rushed from his line and pulled out of a challenge only to see Butterfield steam into a tackle with Mooney and win a tackle with a real man and ball effort. The ball went loose to Davis and another forward steamed in late and slid into Butters. Mooney, the Colchester striker who has always been a bit of a cock when we’ve played them, decided it was a good idea to get up and shove Butters in the back of the neck as he got up. Regardless of the stupidity of the push, it didn’t really warrant a red card but that’s what he got. I could believe that he’d been his normal bell-end self and annoyed the ref earlier in the game but a straight red….? Well take it though, off you go, don’t let the door hit your ass.
Saints managed to create one more major chance before half time as Chambo totally skinned the left back before clipping over a brilliant cross where it was met by the ‘new Ron Davies’, Adam Lallana who didn’t do his usual powder puff flicked header off the side of his face and instead went for a thumping Big Ron effort which Williams tipped up and over the bar, via a couple of bounces on top of said crossbar. Lee Barnard was on the goal line looking at the ball in much the same way that a cat wills a bird to fall out of a tree. The Lloyd James had a shot………… and luckily, he hasn't improved. Half time and 1-0.
Five minutes into the second half we got a corner, from which we revealed another one of our training ground routines as Chambo rolled it into Lallana who dribbled away from goal before chipping it back into the mixer. The training ground routine probably ends with Fonte or Jaidi thumping a header into the net but this time it was cleared as far as Hammond who cut past one player before lashing into the net at the far post. Good strike and 2-0 and what should be game over.
The game went into a bit of a holding pattern for the next 20 minutes as Saints were happy to hold what they had and Colchester trying to make the running but not having much success. Barnard tested Williams out again and found him equal to it.
On 70 there was a bit if a surprise with Jaidi being subbed and Aaron Martin coming on to play with Fonte in what will probably be our centre back pairing for next season. Maybe it was an injury or maybe he just wanted to rest the Big Man for Tuesday nights game against Yeovil. What it definitely did was give Aaron a chance to play against a tree.
On 80 minutes, Nigel thought that Barnard had managed to stay cool long enough, despite the kicking he was getting and gave him a rest with N’Guessan coming on in his place. Just before he left, Barnard latched onto a Sir Rickie flick and rolled it past the onrushing Williams, only to see it dribble wide of the post. One more sub to go as Alex Chamberlain was given 5 minutes rest as he was replaced by Richardson. No dramas, no alarms, no worries, 2-0 and happy days are here again.
They may have had a man sent off and we may not have played particularly well but guess what – it doesn’t matter a shit. Nigel was full of praise for the professionalism shown and singled out Lee Barnard in particular for getting booked on 20 minutes and then managing to not get booked in the face of a severe kicking from the Colchester defence, in the next 60 minutes. Mind you, Lee has learned the hard way that if you don’t show restraint, you end up in the shit or in hospital or both.
Of our promotion rivals – everybody won except for Huddersfield who drew. Brighton came close to dropping a point but sneaked a last minute winner to win 4-3 v Carlisle. It’s the same story as always in this league… you go nowhere by winning one and then winning another with a couple of dodgy results inbetween – the only way you seriously improve your position is by stringing together 5+ wins in a row. We’re capable of that as much as we are capable of buggering up a fixture where we should be winning comfortably.
So, today was the first match of our next 5 match winning run and the next is Yeovil at home which, on paper anyway, is one we should definitely win. Following that we have the Moaning Dorset Bastards at Dean Court but lets not let that game overshadow what is coming our way on Tuesday night.
The Return of the Wotton.
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