FA Cup 3rd Round - Southampton 2 Blackpool 0

Yes, we're having a laugh, you bell-end.

FA Cup 3rd Round day and we’re up against Blackpool from the Barclays Cash Cow League. Blackpoool manager and part-time comedian, Ian Holloway told us in advance that he was sending a combination of reserve / youth team players down to play us. One hopes that he thought his team could at least get a draw from the game but who knows. With both teams prioritising elsewhere, it would be interesting to see how keenly each team contested this game and what would happen should it be level going into the last few minutes.

The day started off in fine fashion with Adam Lallana signing a new contract to keep him (relatively speaking) at SMS for the next 4 and a half years. You never know what clauses are in these contracts (so don’t believe what anyone might print on a web forum) but on the face of it, it’s as good a news as we could get. Fair play to you Adam and I hope the club can reward you suitably by getting promoted this season. Now of course, we need to tie up Tommy Forecast on a new five year deal and the squad is complete.

Talking of Dismal Forecast, he’s on the bench as Superkelv is given the day off and Bart is in goal. Centre backs are Aaron Martin and Dan Seaborne, the former of which is making his first appearance for Nigel Adkins. Midfield sees the biggest shock with Jason Puncheon in the side having returned from his loan spell at Millwall. It’s a strange one as he scored 5 goals in 7 matches for them, having been shite for us in a league lower down this season. He also had a dig at Nigel in the papers and any hope of a permanent move for him collapsed when we (allegedly) asked for nearly a million. So, an interesting one. Barney was back up front as the Gulyman was rested. Blackpool’s team contained Brett Ormerod and Jason Euell up front – one player we liked and one we didn’t. Regardless of how I felt about them, I wasn’t worried about the attacking threat posed by either.

Due to my own incompetence, I had got tickets late for this and so the FA Cup tour of SMS has landed me in the Kingsland, up near the Northam End so that’s Northam, Itchen, Kingland for the three rounds so far. The online ticketing system really should tell you when the person sitting in front of you weighs upwards of 25 stone and when they stand up to let someone in, it’s like the sun has gone out. Still – no moaning twat Chuckle Brothers behind me today so can’t complain.

The game starts and what a cracking game it is with both sides trying to play open attractive football. We are in the main managing this and Blackpool have Ormerod and Euell – they also have Matt Phillips who looks a cracking player who is going to give Harding a tough afternoon.

The ball is in the net on 20 minutes when Rachubka is standing with the ball in one hand which Barney heads it out of before rolling it into the net. For a fleeting moment I wondered if this was allowed but according to today’s ref it isn’t which is probably correct. I bet you can find a League 1 ref who would have given it – Andy D’Urso perhaps.

Talking of the ref – he then decides that there is far too much flowing football going on and he has to make himself the centre of attention, first booking Richardson for looking the wrong way and then Martin for pulling out of a tackle. We then have a golden chance to take the lead when Rachubka is flapping around like a budgie and the ball falls to Sir Rickie who manages to smash it against the bar from close range, the ball rebounding and hitting him before dribbling off for a goal kick. The Blockpool keeper is the busiest player on the park though as he has to save from Barney after Lallana teed him up and then has to save from Lallana himself who should have done better when the surprisingly excellent Puncheon teed him up.

Just before half time we had a show of Premiership quality from the visitors as Phillips delivered an excellent cross but fortunately for us, it was onto the head of Euell who didn’t make any contact because he’s crap. Nil-Nil at half time and fatty in front of me begins the long and painful ascent out of his seat and heads towards a half time burger I guess.

The second half starts and it’s exhibition stuff from Schneiderlin which ends in him firing narrowly over the bar. Ten minutes in and we take a deserved lead as Hammond binned someone in the tackle to win the ball high up the pitch and puts Sir Rickie clean through on the left edge of the box. And Sir Rickie must score but he doesn’t and his shot is saved by the foot of Rachubka before rebounding to Barney who takes as long as it takes me to shout ‘ fucking hit it’, before burying it past the two defenders on the line.

Matt Phillips, the one Blackpool player to stand out, created their best effort but his excellent strike from the left was well tipped over by Bart who to be fair, would have been disappointed if he hadn’t saved it. Bart has a difficult moment when he flapped at another Phillips cross but was bailed out by Aaron Martin who produced one of those 100 metre clearances he’s so good at.

In a substitution frenzy – Deano goes down and is replaced by Dickson and then Brett Ormerod is subbed to a standing ovation in recognition for his services to Saints and also for playing another game at SMS without scoring. Blackpool bring on a couple more kids and it’s now all Saints with Barney again testing the keeper and then Sir Rickie teeing up Dicko to go close. We need a 2nd goal and so we need Chamberlain and The Gulyman with Lallana and Barney making way.

On 83 minutes came the clincher as Sir Rickie, running like a man carrying Radhi Jaidi on his back, kept the ball in over on the left wing and fed it inside to Dickson who cleverly stepped over it, allowing it to run to The Gulyman who turned away from goal before smashing a right footed effort around the keeper and into the net. A quite stunning goal and the place went nuts.

There was still time for another chance as Chamberlain went through but instead of squaring to where the unmarked Punch would have had a tap-in, he lashed it past the keeper but unfortunately, it pinged off the angle of post and bar before rebounding away.

A superb performance by us and a thoroughly deserved win. I have never seen a Saints midfield so fluid in formation and so committed. The ball retention was excellent and the closing down and covering was different class. Though I occasionally slate him, the best player on the pitch was Schneiderlin who was simply brilliant, never wasting a ball, never shirking a tackle and being involved for the whole 90 minutes, more so than in any other game I’ve seen him play. Jason Puncheon had his best game of the season for us (not hard) and though I didn’t particularly want him back, on that form he’s going to give teams problems. Over to Nigel to use his degree in psychology (or whatever, to get Punch to want to stay. Lalllana, Chamberlain and Dickson also gave Blackpool massive problems and with a bit more care, all three could have had goals. Defensively we were sound with both Martin and Seaborne having good games and stifling the prolific and savagely dangerous Euell/Ormerod dream team up front. Up front for us, Sir Rickie worked his ass off but really should have scored, both in the first half when he hit the bar and in the second, just before Barney scored…. and then there’s the Gulyman. What. A. Goal – brilliant strike.

Holloway’s post match interview consisted of a dig at the harmless chant of “Premier League, you’re having a laugh”, which was directed at his team. His little comedy rant was no doubt designed to neatly deflect the attention away from the fact that his team were shite and got spanked by a League 1 team who made nearly as many changes. Lets face it, we left out our regular keeper, best centre half, most experienced centre-half, most in-form midfielder (Chaplow) and striker (Guly) – not to mention our hot prospect (shhhhh, don’t tell anyone)….. and we still beat you easily. The funny thing is of course that we’ve been drawn against Man Utd at home in the 4th Round which would have been a nice little money spinner for Blackpool. Anyway, normally I’d have wanted Blackpool to beat Liverpool in their league match on Tuesday but I hope they get battered. To be fair, I’ll go back to liking Holloway again next week but for now he can jog on. Having a pop at us for that is bollocks, especially when he failed to mention the standing ovation for Brett Ormerod. So, yes Ian, we are having a laugh… because we dicked you.

So – Southampton versus Manchester United. As mentioned above, I couldn’t believe it when we got drawn against those twats again. As I’ve said before, the 3rd Round defeat a couple of years back ranks as one of my very worst experiences as a Saints fan because after about a hour, I just didn’t care any more. Then there was relegation in 2005 when they beat us 2-1 and some year in the 90’s when they won the League at The Dell and the Milton End was crawling with Man U fans with Hampshire accents. Still, we play like today and we have a chance….

Lets talk local rivals for a second and it was nice to see Brighton knock Pompey out. It was annoying that Pompey were referred to in the media as ‘last years beaten finalists’ instead of ‘Dirty Skate bastards who cheated and lied their way to the final last year’.

On to more important stuff and Bournemouth’s convincing win over Plymouth in League 1 has moved them above us and so we’re 3rd, so a win v Oldham on Tuesday night is required to get us back into the automatic spot. Bring on the Dickov.

As an aside…. I was listening to Radio Merrington on the way home and I heard the interview with Eddie Howe. He’s been offered either or both of the Charlton and Crystal palace jobs and has to make his mind up. I can only speak for myself but if I was him, I’d stay at Bournemouth. He’s achieving great things there with the restrictions he’s under (a proper transfer embargo, not a Pompey ‘do as you fucking like’ one) and he’d be mad to throw that away to join clubs where he will be under big pressure to deliver or else he will get fired within 18 months. If he was being offered a Premiership job then fair enough but he’s only 33 and he has years of management ahead of him. In my opinion he should stay and learn at a club where he’s not under too much pressure. It’s the same argument as why Alex Chamberlain should stay with Saints at this early stage of his career - there is no need to move when you are that young. The silver lining is that if Howe does go, you can’t see Bournemouth maintaining their challenge but then…. I’ve been saying that for a while and the Moaning Dorset Bastards are still above us.