League 1 Match 19 - Southampton 0 Brentford 2

Unused Subs, Saturday

It’s been a bit odd to be honest. The game up in the frozen wastelands of Hartlepool was called off on the Thursday before and so all was quiet on the SFC aside from the chortle of fans knowing that their ticket was valid for the re-arranged date, which will no doubt be in midweek, giving you a few issues if you have to work til 5 as Southampton to Hartlepool in two and half hours is not really feasible unless you have a plane.

Other football news was of course, England not getting awarded the World Cup in 2018 so the eyes of the world will not be fixed on Milton Keynes after all, they’ll be fixed on somewhere much more hospitable in Siberia. Rumour has it that Sepp Blatter and Jack Warner thought that Fratton Park was still part of the bid so no amount of Royal Wedding Invites from Prince William, promises of financial aid from David Cameron or pictures of Rebecca Loos from David Beckham, was going to change their mind.

SFC were thrust back into the limelight by Mike Ashley, the fat Cockney who owns Newcastle United, who decided to sack Chris Hughton. To everyone else’s eyes, Hughton had done a great job getting Newcastle promoted at the first time of asking and starting life in the Cash Cow with some decent results. This is relevant to us because they appointed Alan Pardew as his replacement so suddenly, the eyes of the world were back on us again. Coincidentally or not, Don Nicola chose this moment to re-state his vision for Southampton and to me, it was heart warming stuff. The major issues about finance following the death of Markus were addressed in very positive fashion, as were the concerns should the Liebherr family decide they wanted out. He was of course asked why Pards was sacked and he just said there were “many reasons” and fixed the interviewer with a cold hard stare which would have had him weeing down his leg in fear. I was scared just watching it on the computer.

Pards meanwhile, will be about as welcome as an outbreak of smallpox in Newcastle because he’s a) a Londoner, b) from London, c) a mate of Mike Ashley’s via a mutual friends casino, d) not got a great record on the face of it, e) he’s not a Geordie and f) he’s a London boy. Good luck to him and I hope he does well but I don’t think he’s got a prayer up there. When he left I said that he’d get a job higher up the leagues but I didn’t see that one coming...

In other Saints news, it was confirmed that Lee Holmes is out for the rest of the season which is both very unlucky and very expected. I believe that his contract runs out in the summer as well so not good news for the player but at least he’s familiar with the treatment room so he should feel comfortable in the newly renamed Holmes & Connolly Suite of the Medical Facility at Staplewood. Surely now there will be some players coming in, in January (as hinted at in the Don’s interview) as we have lost both Holmes and Puncheon from the wings, so now only have Lallana and Chamberlain who are both coveted by Premier League Clubs. There has been a rumour of the return of Papa Waigo N’Diaye which would be a superb signing for me, as a blog writer but also because when onside, he was a decent player.

Saints team for today was still missing Richardson, Barnard and Chaplow through injury, in addition to Jose Fonte through suspension. Butterfield, the Gulyman, Schneiderlin and Seaborne all coming in. The bench saw the first inclusion of Harlee Dean and David Connolly was on there as he was slightly less injured than normal this week.

Saints started well with Chamberlain firing over a cross which Sir Rickie flicked on and the Gulyman lunged forward to thump a header goalwords which was superbly kept out by Lee in the Brentford goal – a really good save save – a bastard.

Brentford were really not putting much together until some namby pamby tackling from Lallana led to Alexander having a potshot and Superkelv made a complete bollocks of it, didn’t get behind it and it bounced of his forearm and spun into the net. A quite dreadful bit of goalkeeping and a real kick in the nuts for everyone.

Hammond hoofed one over the bar and my friend the Duck Noise Guy, decides to tell us the gag he’s been working on all week regarding that fact that Dean Hammond has the same initials as Dick Head. It’s not funny and it’s not funny when it’s repeated and I want to break his teeth by the 4th time.

Saints responded with Seaborne clumsily hoofing someone up in the air on the half way line and getting booked and we did have half a shout for a penalty when Schneiderlin’s cross hit a defender on the way out of play. Sir Rickie’s free kick for the day was on target this time but at a comfortable height for Lee. Sir Rickie isn’t striking the ball as well this season which in my mind, points to an injury which isn’t going to go away by him continually playing match after match.

We were second to every ball and seemed half a yard slower all over the pitch, except near Seaborne and Jaidi where it was more like 5 yards slower. Saints looked shot to bits by now and no one wanted the ball and this was superbly demonstrated when a shot was deflected upwards on our 6 yard line and Butterfield, Seaborne and Davis all watched and the only player who reacted was MacDonald who stabbed it in the net. Again – a diabolical goal to concede. He kind of looked offside but when you are the only player who moves, I guess that can happen.

We of course, needed a goal before half time and Lallana nearly provided it with a jinking run in from the left and a fierce shot which Lee again got something on and turned it wide. He’s a good keeper and I hate him.

The half time team talk was going to have to be something special to get anything out of this game. I don’t expect that Nigel told them to amble about for the first 15 minutes with no pattern or direction but that’s what they did. The game was an hour old and we were never going to score with the personnel we had on the pitch and nothing had changed since half time. Brentford were completely untroubled and if anything, looked more likely to score the next goal than we did. Chamberlain was switch with Guly and had a couple of shots that were blocked but in the main, nothing. Another tactical switch was to move Schneiderlin into a holding role and push Hammond forward a bit, a combination that has never, ever worked in any match I’ve ever seen. Surprisingly, it didn’t work here either.

The game was gone by the time we made our first real change on 82 minutes when Connolly came on for Sir Rickie though it turns out that this only happened cos Lambert was injured. We huffed a bit and Connolly was dangerous and Lallana hit a post from a free kick but it was generally crap and the final whistle couldn’t come soon enough.

Thanks God it’s over. That was truly abysmal and where do you start to analyse that one. I’ll have a go…. When a goalkeeper drops a complete bollock like Kelvin did, it sucks the wind out of the whole team. I remember a few years ago when he allowed himself to get robbed by a QPR forward on the edge of the box who duly scored, exactly the same thing happened. Butterfield proved that Richardson is the better full back and Jaidi and Seborne proved that they are too slow to play as a pair. Jaidi wasn’t too bad in that slow, lumbering way of his but Seaborne was shite and surely Aaron Martin has to get a game soon as at least he can run. The centre of midfield was appalling and especially in the 2nd half as Hammond was pushed forward where he’s crap, to allow Schneiderlin to sit deep and do fuck all as he always does. Lallana was invisible in the 2nd half as well so out of the keeper, defence and midfield you only have Dickson and Chamberlain who were anything above 4 out of 10. As for the strikers – well I just felt sorry for them. I thought Sir Rickie worked hard and was really trying but the service to him was non-existant and the same goes for the Gulyman but again, and this goes down against Nigel Adkins, they are not a good pair as they both want to flick it on and neither has the pace to pick up the flick on.

There was a complete lack of energy today which Chaplow and Barnard supply and their energy rubs off on the rest of the team. All over the pitch today we had combinations that do not work, Seaborne and Jaidi too slow, Schneiderlin and Hammond both want to play defensive midfield, Lambert and do Prado too similar in style and Nigel Adkins has to take the blame for that along with the fact that we have players on the bench that he obviously does not rate. Ryan Doble has been on the bench about 8 times now and not played a minute, the same with Aaron Martin. If it had been down to me then Schneiderlin would have come off after an hour with Lallana moving to the middle and pretty soon after that I’d have chucked Doble and/or Connolly on for a defender as we were getting absolutely fucking nowhere with the 11 we had on the pitch. If I was one of the subs I’d have been a bit pissed off, sat there watching an abysmal performance and the manager doesn’t think I’d make any sort of improvement on the shite I was watching.

Nigel’s post match interview went some way to explaining the lack of subs and the tinkering he did with the starting XI to try and change things round. All well and good but none too convincing really – for example, Schneiderlin was shit from the first minute to the last and obviously didn’t want to be out there and subtly altering his position is just polishing a turd – get him off, tell him he was merde (French for brown and smelly) and replace him with someone who may just do better. There is no way that Gobern or even Harlee Dean (who I have never seen play) would have been any worse. Brentford worked hard and were very ‘in yer face’ when we had the ball and fair play to them, they were only side deserving a win out there today. We were shit, really shit. As a footnote, today was my Dad’s birthday and he had to sit through that whilst on my birthday, we won 4-1 – my 42nd was better than his 66th. Pissed off and fed up and I watched the whole game with a hangover which had actually got worse over the two hours of ‘entertainment’.

Next up we’re away at Walsall who are bottom and their fans all say ‘awl-roight boy’ when you meet them. At least will have Jose Fonte back to break up the snail central defence we employed today and we desperately need Chaplow and Barnard to return as well or it will be another very testing game.

January transfer window... bring it on!

More unused subs, Saturday