Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Premier League Match 14 - Manchester City 3 Southampton 1


Yoshida Pisses About and Sterling is away...

In the build up to the Manchester City away game, many have been pointing at our unbeaten away record and looking at Manchester City’s two defeats in their last two matches and building it up as if it’s an easy win for us.  Bollocks will it be.  Their two defeats were a freak result against Liverpool and a defeat away to Juventus in the Champions League which is hardly the definition of a crisis.  We do have a sniff because they have their main defensive lynchpin Vincent Kompany out injured but what is billions of pounds of investment if it’s not to build a squad with.  Whoever is out, they’ll still have a decent side on the pitch.

An uneventful week for us aside from speculation as to who was going to play instead of Graziano but there is no choice really as J-Rod has just had a foot operation so is out for about two months.  So, Shane Long it is and I like seeing him play down the middle. Sure enough, Shane was up front but there were surprises elsewhere with Romeu in for Clasie, Maya in for Cédric and JWP in for Tadic.  Gaston made the bench, as did Curacao’s finest, Cuco Martina.  City’s side with all their injuries and all that, featured a front three, two of whom cost £50 million and the other being Sergio Aguero.  I imagine that the midfield of Yaya, Delph and Fernandinho cost them a bit as well.  The chance for us was getting at the back line which had the slow di Michelis, the thuggish Otamendi and in goal was Willy Caballero as Joe Hart was injured from dropping a bottle of Head & Shoulders on his foot, allegedly.

As the game starts, our formation looks very lopsided with Steve Davis on the left but it’s not clear if he’s one of the attacking three or making up a midfield four.  Formations are irrelevant though when you give the ball away with metronomic regularity like we do.  City swarm all over us and Sterling forces Stekelenburg into a save before a backpass and a momentary panic before Maarten decides against diving on it and toe pokes it clear.  Aguero makes his first contribution soon after and Big Vic scythes him down on the edge of the box.  A clear yellow card tackle if ever there was one but Roger East says no and it’s just a free kick.  Up steps Kolarov and smacks it against the bar.  It bounces down and everyone piles in but Stekelenburg again does well to calmly claw the ball back from the line.   Stekelenburg’s at it again, rusging out to block Aguero after some more shambolic giveaway passing, this time from Romeu.

It’s just a matter of time before they score and having allowed City to load the gun, we take it off them and shoot ourselves in the arse.  Maya dawdles with it out at right back and decides to try and take on Sterling.  Predictably he loses it and Sterling penguins away, into the box and squares for de Bruyne to tap into an empty net. Well played Maya you fucking idiot.  They can’t score if the ball’s in row Z for fucks sake.

We are now a complete shambles and a header comes in from Fernandinho after a corner and it’s expertly turned round the post by Davis.  Not Kelvin Davis – he’s not on the pitch and if he had been it would have gone in… Steven Davis has stuck an arm out and deflected it wide.  It’s a penalty and a red card but not today and we’ve got away with one there.  We make the most of the reprieve and defend the corner like wankers and it falls to Delph on the edge of the box.  He hits it and it flicks off of Virgil and sends Maarten the wrong way.  2-0… it should be about 5-0.

We’ve been complete shite but then out of nowhere, some hope as Virgil lopes forward, plays a 1-2, crops a shoulder past a defender and hammers in a shot which beats Caballero all ends up but pings off the bar and away.  A bit late but we’re now playing with Big Vic and Shane Long both testing out Caballero but he’s comfortable enough.

Just before half time, José Fonte goes down and doesn’t get up.  There’s a bit of fuss in the technical area but eventually we bring on a sub.  I have this horrible moment when I think that as Yoshida is having a mare, we might move him and bring on bloody Martina but no, Caulker is on.  At half time it occurs to me that we are resting players for Wednesday’s cup game against Liverpool.  Cédric and Clasie are two who Ron thinks struggle with three games in a week and I’m sure that Tadic will be back as well on Wednesday.  This wouldn’t be a problem if the squad players had stepped up but Yoshida’s has been shite, Romeu has looked lost and then you have JWP who has hardly touched the ball and has been completely irrelevant to the game.  Also, it goes down as another 25 minute spell where we just haven’t played at all to be added to the Leicester and Bournemouth 2nd halves and the Man United middle hour.

Tadic has obviously had enough rest for Wednesday’s game so he’s on for Romeu with Steve Davis moving back and suddenly we look like a team.  A break down the right and Davis is taken out off the ball by Kolarov.  Play goes on and eventually we cock it up but the ref brings it back for the free kick.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen an advantage played for that long before going back to the original infringement.  It was like a play in rugby union.  Kolarov wasn’t sin binned however but even better, Tadic’ quick free kick caught Sterling sleeping, Mané fired a cross and Long rose at the back stick to bury the header.  Game on!

Five minutes later it should be all square.  Tadic picks it up on the left and drives goalwards.  There’s some real half arse tackling by Sagna and di Michelis and suddenly he just has Caballero to beat.  It should be a right foot slot into the far corner or a left foot blast across the keeper but instead he tries to scoop it over him and Caballero stands up long enough to claw it away from over his head.  The rebound falls to Long who gets a shot in but in true Steven Davis fashion, Fernandinho sticks out an arm and deflects it wide.  That’s a penalty and a red card too but the ref is at least consistent and we get nothing.  I can’t get over Tadic’ attempted finish though.  Just hit it man!

As we reach the 70th minute we are committing men forward and then city break on us.  We have a chance to win it back but JWP puts in a horrible limp tackle and de Bruyne is off and away.  The ball eventually finds it’s way to the penguin who does his best Happy Feet impression away from Maya who looks like he’s carrying a sumo wrestler on his back.  Back to de Bruyne who picks out Kolarov on our right and all our defence (Maya specifically) has fucked off and Kolaraov, all on his own on our right, drives it across and in off the far post. Great finish… wanker.

Talking of wankers – Yaya Toure.  He’s got a shite attitude – only interesting in running forward and shooting and as soon as you get around him he just hits the deck and expects a free kick.  There’s no I in team but there is one in Selfish Twat.  Fernando is on for Delph and then they replace their ‘cheap’ striker Aguero with Wilfried Bony who cost about £30 million I think.

Yaya takes another dive – tosser.  He’s always talked about like he’s one of the best players in the world but then one of the genuinely best players in the world comes on as David Silva comes on for The Penguin.  Just what you want when you’re 3-1 down and we respond to their bringing on of the mercurial Spaniard by bringing on Juanmi for JWP, replacing one irrelevant player with another.  It all peters out like you knew it would before the ref puts us all out of our misery.

I fell like I’ve written this before but you can’t just play for a portion of a game and expect to get something out of it.  You certainly won’t get anything out of Manchester City at the Etihad if you present them with a 2-0 start.  The whole gameplan has to be around keeping it tight and not doing anything stupid but the message obviously didn’t get through.  There were a number who were atrocious in that opening 20 minutes but Maya Yoshida in particular has killed us, like he killed us in the Man United home game.  Just clear the fucking thing man. Or whatever that is in Japanese.

I’m sure that Wednesday’s team selection will prove that Ronald has rested players today.  I’m also sure that in the aftermath of this game that he’ll get slammed for it but he can’t win.  If he’d played Cédric today and Maya on Wednesday we’d have heard all the ‘disrespecting the cup’ stuff and ‘giving up on Wembley’ complaints.  I’d be amazed if any of Cédric, Tadic, Pelle and Clasie don’t start on Wednesday.

Back to today though and today proved again that having Big Vic and Romeu in the same side doesn’t seem to work.  Picking them together was I assume to make us difficult to play through but the pair of them kept giving the fucking ball away so it all went to shit and it was no surprise when Romeu was hooked at half time.  You can have one player in midfield who is not the greatest passer if he just plays it simple to someone who can pass it well.  If you have two then it appears you have twice as much chance of just giving it away.  As said before, this should be the end of the Maya at right back experiment but we may have to persevere with that occasionally until Cédric learns to play without a crash helmet.  I guess Martina may prove to be something other than completely out of his depth but I can’t see it.  JWP is reminding me more and more of Matt Oakley with every passing game at the moment.  You know he’s got ability but too often the game just completely passes him by.  One of these free kicks has to hit the net soon and he has to learn to tackle or at least get in the way.  He’s learning in the Premier League which is tough when you compare to a recently departed midfielder and consider that Morgan Schneiderlin was similarly lightweight and ineffective at a young age but in League 1 you don’t have to be brilliant every game.  It just isn’t working at the moment though.

On the positive side, today proved how good a keeper Maarten Stekelenburg is.  I’ve seen some really quite stupid articles which point the finger at him but he’s been solid all season and showed up well today.  In my opinion we haven’t missed Fraser Forster at all.  Our other loan, Stephen Caulker looked decent when he came on today as well and will surely have moved above Yoshida in the pecking order now.

Referee Roger East had an odd game today.  He was clearly trying to let the game flow and didn’t want to book people which is laudable but I don’t think there’s a Saints fan anywhere who would not have booked both Big Vic and Romeu in the first 10 minutes.  Vic’s tackle on Aguero in particular took me back to the days of Paul Wotton where the ball was in another post code when the tackle landed.  The ref also missed two clear penalties for handball, one for each side which at laest show consistency I guess.  Strange to think that if he’d given our one and not theirs then we would probably have been 2-2 with half an hour to play which would have given us a sniff of getting a result we didn’t deserve.  To complete the ref’s odd game, the advantage rule as played for our goal was more like the Rugby Union interpretation.  So – undefeated away record gone and two defeats in a row.  Moving on…


Liverpool come to town on Wednesday for the Capital One Cup Quarter Final.  Of course, all the focus will be on them and their German Messiah - Not here though.  I’ll be focussing on Nivea Twat Adam Lallana shitting himself when he gets booed and hopefully on us reaching our first semi-final since most of the people who sit near me in the Family Centre were born.

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