Keane: Where the feck are the strikers?
Lambert: If you look 80 yards that way Roy, there he is
For
the first time this season we’ve been hit with the Monday night Sky
rearrangement and therefore have had a couple more days post-international
break to recover and get players back from Africa and far flung corners of
Europe and all that kind of thing. There
have been rumours of a couple of players coming back injured, namely Dusan
Tadic and Morgan Schneiderlin but overall we seem to have a pretty clear bill
of health for a trip to Villa who are decimated by injuries and have their main
threat of a striker (Benteke) suspended.
They’ve lost 5 and drawn 1 of their last 6 games, scoring a grand total
of 1 goal so we really have to be looking at winning this game.
Winning
this game is definitely on the agenda for a few reasons, not least the games
against Villa last year. Last year at
Villa Park and at St.Mary’s, they parked the bus and played on the break. They fluked a 3-2 win at our place by scoring
on the three occasions they got in our half and played for a 0-0 at Villa Park
and got it, with Paul Lambert lauding his own 8-1-1 formation. Setting out for a 0-0 against Southampton at
home is conduct unbefitting of a club of Villa’s stature. They should be competing for Europa League
spots with the likes of Newcastle, Everton and Spurs but they’re more likely to
get relegated than actually do anything positive. I can’t believe that Paul Lambert is still in
a job to be honest. Put it this way, if
Deadly Doug had still been in charge, he most certainly wouldn’t be.
In
the event, the only injury is the one that happened before the international
break with Steve Davis not making it.
Instead of Jack Cork stepping in, there’s a bit of a surprise in that we
line up with all 4 of Pellè, Tadic, Mané and Long in the side. I’m assuming it will be 4-4-2 with Mané and
Tadic on the wings. Villa are missing
Benteke, Vlaar and Senderos and it’ll be interesting to see if there’s any
change in the way they play as a result of Roy Keane being Paul Lambert’s
assistant.
Villa
start with a bit of possession in our half and Alderweireld blocks an early
attempt from Agbonlahor. We spring into
the attack when they lose it and Mané has the ball on the left. He faces up the
full back and I’m expecting to run at him, go left or right and hammer in a
shot. Instead of that though he tries to
curl it across the box with the outside of his weaker right foot and just bunts
it straight out of play. It’s so bad
it’s embarrassing. The minor scare sees
Villa revert to the Lambert gameplan which is 4 defenders, with a bank of 5
midfielders a yard in front of them and then 60 yards to where Agbonlahor
is. Unbelievable. No wonder no fucker turns up to watch them
these days. It of course is up to us to
score first.
We
win a couple of corner in succession but the delivery is poor both times.
Eventually one is recycled via Fonte on the right wing and Big Vic attempts to
clip a first time effort on goal but makes a bollocks of it and it sails into
the crowd. Football did break out with Morgan
sweeping a lovely long ball out to Mané on the left who fed Bertrand. His feed inside was held up by Graziano and
back-heeled back into Bertrand’s path.
So far so good but his pass to Mané was slightly overhit and Mané on the
stretch saw his effort skew off his right boot and wide. Could have been goal of the season… but no.
So,
Saints are on top and Villa are defending well and in numbers but with no attacking
threat at all. Clyne feeds a ball into
Pellè and Clark steps in front and wellies it up the pitch. Alderweireld is favourite to get there before
Agbonlahor but he gets a shout from Fraser who comes launching out of his
goal. Fuck, he isn’t going to get there
and Agbonlahor knocks it round him and bobbles his shot into the net as it
almost bounces over the lunging Alderweireld on the line. Fuck off. Sunday league goal. Smash it up to the fast guy and hope for the
best. It’s shite from Forster though. He’s hesitated but even if he hadn’t then he wouldn’t
have got there. Stay in your fucking
goal. It’s Agbonlahor… even if he’d got
to the ball ahead of Toby (unlikely) then he still has to beat the keeper
(unlikely). Come flying out like a twat
and it’s easy. Not impressed. You stay in the goal unless you are 100%
sure.
We
make an attempt to get back into it before half time when Tadic cuts in from
the right and picks out Mané in the penalty area. His touch is good and a right foot curler is
well kept out by Guzan down low. A
couple of shit corners later and some poor attempts at passing in the final
third and it’s half time. We’ve been
crap but we’ve been the better side and we are losing. Great.
I
expected Corky to be on at half time but there are no changes aside from Tadic
and Long swapping over. The second half
starts the same way as the first with Villa having a bit of possession. We’ve decided to hit even more of the long
diagonal balls which were pretty unsuccessful in the first half and the full
backs, Hutton and Cissokho, know their coming and will win them all day long.
Long
wins a free kick out on the left of the penalty area after being felled by
Okore. Morgan stands over it for an age
and then hits it into the wall at knee height.
It’s shit but somehow as the ball pings out to Big Vic. He plays José in behind the left back and he
fizzes it across in front of Graziano and no one can get a touch. The only good news is that Villa are
defending so deep that every shite cross we skid across the box that is
cleared, can be immediately recycled as Villa haven’t got anyone contesting the
clearance. From one such incident, Tadic
whips one over from the right and Pellè nods over the bar but he was offside
anyway.
75
minutes gone and no changes as yet which is somewhat mystifying as we do not
look like scoring in the slightest. We
get another free kick as Long is cluelessly bundled over by Cissokho as he
faced away from goal. This on is right
on the corner of the penalty area and Tadic smashes it at the goal but straight
at Guzan who just punches it clear without having to move. The ball ends up with Bertrand on the left
and he scuffs it back into the box and Alderweireld tries to turn at hit it but
just plops it straight to Guzan.
The
next attack breaks down and Villa actually play it out of the back though
Weimann. He plays a good ball and gets
it back but fortunately for us, he shows no composure and smashes it into the
crowd from the penalty spot. Ronald has
seen enough and it’s time for …. Mayuka.
Shit. Is that honestly the best
we’ve got? Mané, who has been playing
like he wanted to come off for about half an hour is the man to make way and we’ve
gone 4-4-2.
It
must be the Mayuka effect because Tadic gets on the ball and plays it to
Bertrand who has got goal side of Weimann.
His low pull back is out towards the edge of the box but Clyney loses
Agbonlahor and comes in and thumps a side footer past Guzan to make it
1-1. A brilliant goal, totally out of keeping
with the rest of the game and thank fuck for that.
There’s
still enough time to win it but it really isn’t happening and as we tick over
into injury time, Corky is on for Long but we’re still playing with 10 with
Mayuka still on the pitch. He then makes
his one contribution by challenging Hutton for a ball and Hutton takes a couple
of steps before pulling a horrendous dive straight out of the top drawer and winning
himself a free kick from Phil Dowd who has been his usual fat self. It was the last chance to see if our
attacking impact sub could actually touch the ball and he didn’t. I tell you, we’d have been better off putting
Florin Gardos up front and launching it forwards because he would have at least
been a nuisance and it would have been a delicious irony if we’d gone long ball
and nicked a goal. I’ve never thought
there was a footballer in Mayuka and there most definitely isn’t. Put Ryan Seager or Sam McQueen on the bench
as this guy is shit.
Full
time. We were terrible to be honest but
we were still light years ahead of Aston Villa who were scandalous. I know they
have players missing and all that but setting up your team to play like that at
home is appalling and who can blame the Villa fans for staying away. It was like playing a League 2 side in the
cup who are playing for penalties from the first minute. If there is a God then Villa will get relegated
and Paul Lambert doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near the Premier League playing
like that. Didn’t they just give him a
new contract? Fucking hell. The goal
they got sums them up, a 70 yard clearance to the quick bloke up front, a
keeper mistake and an open goal.
Straight off the Sunday morning park.
It’s so annoying that they got a point from playing that way. I wonder what Roy Keane will put in a future
update to his book about his time with Villa as Lambert’s assistant. Here’s a man who is associated with some
great Man United sides, watching his team playing 9-0-1 and smash it towards
the quick bloke. Paul Lambert is right
up there with Dave Bassett, Aidy Boothroyd and Fat Sam (pre 2014 incarnation).
Forgetting
Villa for a second, we were shocking. So
sloppy in the final third with passes going straight to Villa players, crosses
going nowhere and set piece delivery which was uniformly terrible. Too many players were not at it including all
of the front 4. After his horrendous
crossing attempt in the first minute, Mané might as well have gone off for all
he contributed to the game. He brought
the one save out of Guzan and that was it other than making the painfully
average Alan Hutton look like a world beater.
Graziano looked knackered and again, made Cairan Clark look good. In my opinion and with the benefit of
hindsight, Ronald Koeman made a mistake picking Long to replace Steve
Davis. There was a lack of control in
the midfield and a lack of calmness which Corky would have brought. Morgan and Big Vic would have played better
as well with a third midfielder in there and would have had more freedom
without worrying about leaving things open.
Mind you, it was entirely predictable that Villa would not go through
midfield so maybe the problem was just the way individual players played rather
than the formation. It has to be seen in
the wider context of the season we’ve had so far which of course, has been
brilliant. A point at Villa point
pre-Paul Lambert was never a bad point but they are just awful under him.
It’s
severely annoying though, I think because of the nature of the goal we let in
and on top of the games last season against Villa. People will say that we need a reality check
and our expectations are now too high and blah blah blah but…. the fact that
we’re second in the league doesn’t make it any worse either. It’s annoying because we sank to the level of
the opposition who were absolutely shit, let in the worst goal imaginable and
then had to struggle like mad to get a point in the end. It would be 2 points dropped whether we were
top of the league or bottom of it as Villa were that bad. If I’m being charitable I’d say they defended
well, which they did, all 11 of them. Line
under it, move on.
Next
up is Manchester City at home when hopefully we will have Steven Davis back as
we badly missed him today. City will be
looking to make at least a token challenge to Chelsea and we will be looking
for a performance which we certainly didn’t get today. I guess City might actually have more than
one player in our half so at least it should be a good game.
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