Glenn Johnson Watches the end of his England Career
What started off a little write up of a trip to Wembley, got
a whole lot bigger….
“Hi there, it’s your brother in law”
“Oh – hi there, how’s things?”
“Do you want a free ticket to got to Wembley tomorrow for
the Slovenia game?”
“Errr.... it’s bath night... oh, alright then”.
So, I might get to see Nathaniel Clyne’s debut in the flesh or
more likely, I’ll get to watch another centre back played out of
position. Bring it on anyway. With all the trains between
Southampton and Waterloo being subject to replacement bus services, it’s via
Havant and up that way, listening to disaffected Pompey fans talking about
their 3-0 defeat by Plymouth in the morning. It’s amusing. I hope
they enjoy watching a team full of Scummers and ex-Scummers at Wembley.
Wembley – emerging from Wembley Park tube you can see right
up Wembley (or Olympic Way as it’s now called) and the stadium looks as
uninspiring as the old Wembley didn’t. I sat on a wall and waited
for the brother in law to turn up and looked at the e-ticket I’d printed
off. Club Wembley Silver – that’s the posh bit in the middle
tier. It’s an hour before kick off and in we go. It’s a bit
like stepping into a big city airport. There are stewards ushering you
though the barcode scanners and escalators up to the Club Wembley concourse
which is full of food outlets (restaurants) and souvenir shops and there
are a distinct lack of people. There is no 20 minute queue for a beer or
waiting in line playing ‘spot the urinal’ as you’re waiting for people to
leave. In short, it’s very posh and about as far removed from ‘half time
at The Dell’ as it could possibly be. It’s very nice and comfortable and
you can understand the casual rich punter being very impressed but for me, it
really isn’t what it’s all about.
What is impressive is Wembley when you are in view of the
pitch. Even the Brother in law who is a
Welsh rugby fan and used to the Millennium Stsdium in Cardiff, was impressed by
the sheer scale of Wembley. The pitch
looked like a patchwork due to the painting out of the logos that were daubed
on it for the American Football last week. The wrong shade of green was used as
you could still see the logo of the Bumblefuck Braindeads (or whoever) up our
end of the pitch.
The big screen filled us in on the make up of the Slovenian
team and then it was time for the England reveal. No 1 Joe Hart, accompanied by
a profile picture and an action shot. No
2 Nathaniel Clyne accompanied by a blank screen and then another blank screen,
No 3 Kieran Gibbs with pictures. Right the
way through the team we went and even Saido Berahino who was in his first full
England squad, had a picture. It doesn’t
matter at the end of the day but surely someone could have taken a picture of
Clyne in an England shirt. I’m sure they
could have found one in a cupboard somewhere in St.Georges Park.
Much fawning over Rooney’s 100th game
followed. It’s a great achievement it
has to be said and he’s the youngest player ever to get there. I’m not his biggest fan by any means though
he has entertained over the years, what with banging grannies and prostitutes
and all that. On with the game and as we
kick off, a quick scan round Club Wembley sees about 75% of the seats empty but
no doubt sold so they’ll be counted on the attendance figures.
The first half was abysmal and the less said about it the
better. In summary, Nathaniel Clyne
started off quite tentatively and felt his way into the game before making some
forward runs and testing the defence. He
tore the full back a new one on one occasion and pulled a good ball back for
Rooney to make a mess of but England seemed to want to funnel everything
through the middle to Rooney and so often he was ignored. Most of his passes came from Cahill in
defence or from Henderson and as Henderson was having a shocker, the ball was
rarely making it out to him.
One ex-Saint I noticed was Adam Lallana who did his usual
array of tight turns but sadly, he was entrusted with taking corners from both
sides and he underhit every one and saw it headed away before it even got to
the near post. It didn’t matter which
side he took them from – underhit every time.
Useless.
Half time and back to the concourse. I redeem my beer
token purchased before the game and queue for an ‘Asian Platter’... because I
can. How incidental the actual football is the whole Club Wembley
experience can be summed up by the fact that there is no countdown or
announcement that the 2nd half is about to start and I have to admit that
I missed a few minutes which would be the sort of behaviour that would have me
calling someone else a corporate wnnker. I’m sure I missed loads given
the excitement of the first half.
Back to the game and Lallana find himself out on the right
as Slovenia mount a rare attack and clatters a bloke rather than just hold him
up. A cross into the box, several
players jump and it flicks off someone and we’re 1-0 down. We’re having a discussion on who headed it
and we all guess that it was Henderson as he hasn’t put a ball in the right
direction all game. Sure enough we were
right.
Straight from the kick off it becomes evident that we’ve
been given a wake up call and a slick move ends with Rooney being tripped. Rooney takes it himself of course and smashes
it in for 1-1. It’s a different game now
with Slovenia having shot their bolt and not being capable of doing anything
else. Now England are up for it and pressurising
them in midfield, they’re shite and just kicking it anywhere. Before long, Wilshere bundles his way along
the goal line and crosses, the keeper Handanovic sticks a foot out instead of
going with his hands and just spoons it up to Welbeck who mis-hits it into the
net for 2-1 and a really crappy goal.
It’s quickly become a case of how many we’ll get and from the best move
of the match, Welbeck plays a 1-2 with the sleepwalking Sterling and slots it
in from the left of the 6 yard box.
Excellent finish.
It was a major shock that Lallana lasted longer than an
hour. He was clearly knackered but Roy
obviously forgot he was still out there until 75 minutes but he was still the
first to come off with Milner replacing him… how exciting. Oxlade-Chamberlain made an appearance in
place of the tired Sterling and that was just about it. Henderson stayed on. Rarely can an international footballer have
been as bad in a competitive game and not got substituted.
So, marks out of 10.
Hart 7 – another night off against poor opposition, no
chance with goal
Clyne 7 – Good debut, more later....
Gibbs 7 – Good game, much better than Baines, starved of
ball a bit
Jagielka 5 – doesn’t look fit to me, should have gone
post-World Cup
Cahill 6 – some sloppy moments including getting Jagielka
booked by playing him in the shit.
Wilshere 9 – never liked him before but thought he was
superb
Lallana 5 – pathetic set piece delivery, tired badly in 2nd
half. I question if he has the work rate to play in a midfield diamond unless
he’s in the 10 position.
Sterling 4 – shocking until helped set up 3rd
goal, not convinced
Henderson 3 – dog shit, should never be an England regular.
Own goal summed him up.
Rooney 5 – great penalty, otherwise dire. No ball control and pace is going.
Welbeck 8 – rapidly becoming our most important player
Milner 6 - Mr Average came on, was average, won another cap
Oxlade-Chamberlain 6 – immediately showed he doesn’t have a
clue how to defend in front of a full back.
Smalling n/a
Overall I think Clyney had an excellent game. He did what he had to do in defence and was
always looking to get forward and decent when he did so. England don’t use the wings as much as Saints
do so he didn’t see as much of the ball as he should have done but nor did
Gibbs on the other side. It’s not rocket
science – the space is on the wings. Roy
Hodgson was given credit for finding a solution to the right back issue. Sorry – he saw Clyne play at least 20 times
for Saints last year but he still tried two Man United centre backs, an Arsenal
centre back, an Everton centre back, two Tottenham full backs who can’t defend
and worst of all, Glen Johnson. Clyne is
better than all of those options and he has been for two seasons. Still – better late than never I guess and
what do you know – the answer was down at Southampton all the time.
No doubt there will be media clamour for Clyne to leave
Saints now. It’s easy to look at those who left in the summer and laugh but
there was another on display today who I wonder about. Has Alex
Oxlade-Chamberlain really progressed that much in the four years since he left
Saints? I wonder how many games he’s
played? If he’d stayed at Saints a bit,
I reckon he’d be a lot better at the defensive side of the game as he really
looks lost when the opposition have the ball. I guess when the bids from the
big boys come in, each player has to decide if he wants to be the best player
he can be or if he wants to be the richest player he can be.
Anyway, onto Tuesday and an away game in Glasgow against
Scotland.
Scotland away on a Tuesday night and according to everyone
who is paid to give their opinions about football, England are the underdogs as
the Scots are playing well now. It
totally depends on if we put as much in as they will. If we do then the bottom line is that we have
much better players than they do.
Scotland do not have one outstanding player like a Gareth Bale or
someone like that. What they do have is
a few lower end Premier League players and a load from the Championship. They do have a manager though who has got
them playing as a team which counts for a lot.
Uncle Roy has changed a number of players with the shocking
Liverpool 3 being left out and replaced with Milner, Oxlade-Chamberlain and
Downing. I know he’s played well this
season but Downing in an England shirt will never sit well with me. Likewise Milner – I don’t get it, he’ll work
hard, win the ball, give it away.
Groundhog day. Shaw is in for
Gibbs and Smalling for Jagielka and in goal we have Fraser Forster, making a
return to Celtic Park in an England shirt.
Ex-Celtic and current England footballer – I’m sure Rangers fans will be
very friendly towards him. Strachan has
picked the same side as he picked against Ireland in the qualifier that they won
1-0, except for he’s replaced the injured Steven Fletcher with Chris Martin who
I remember from our League 1 days. He
was a donkey then and he’s making his Scotland full debut today.
England start pretty well and the tackles are not flying in
from the Scots like everyone expected.
They look compact and confident and Anya takes on Clyne and beats him
before running out of pitch. I bet
that’ll be the last time he beats him all game, I thought to myself. England are the better side but Scotland are
competing well and then out of nowhere, Wilshere picks up the ball in their
half and pings an amazing ball over the top to Chamberlain who flicks a header
into the net with the keeper motionless.
That’s more or less it til half time but England are
dominant and Scotland are looking like the squad of Championship players that
they are. The Jocks change a few at half
time including removing the useless Chris Martin. I tell you, they’d have been better off with
the other Chris Martin up front who could have kept Smalling and Cahill better
entertained by singling boring songs about his ex-wife. Hodgson swaps Cahill for Jagielka and Lallana
for Downing who has surely played his last ever England game now.
The first action sees Chamberlain break away on the right
and Mulgrew come across and clothesline him across the neck. Cynical, deliberate, dangerous, all of the
above but just a yellow card, or so he thought.
With free kick specialist and creative genius James Milner over the ball
I expected nothing but his free kick was to the right area, it came out to Shaw
who volleyed it back into the penalty area, pinball off of Robertson at left
back and Rooney gets his head to it and nods it past Craig Gordon for 2-0. The best bit of the game was seeing the
passion of the England players in celebrating that goal. Excellent stuff.
47 minutes and the game is done as Scotland had nothing at
all. England continued to dominate and look dangerous. We were hunting the ball well when Scotland
had it and whilst they kept it at the back, as soon as they were closed down
they hoofed it. A lot of England
possession was breaking down whenever Milner got it which was infuriating but
at the other end of the scale, Lallana was playing superbly, ably backed up by
Chamberlain and Wilshere. Anya has been
substituted as predictably, he hasn’t beaten Clyne all day since the first
minute.
Sterling is on for Welbeck, Lambert for Chamberlain, Gibbs
for Shaw and the reshuffle sees Sterling playing right wing as Robertson
advances up the pitch, walks past Sterling who just stands there like a sleepwalking
twat, plays a 1-2 with Russell and fires in at the near post. Whoops Fraser, you really should have done
better with that one.
It looked for a second like the Jocks might have hope of nicking
a scandalous draw but straight from the kick off England moved up the right and
a patient passing move involving Lambert, Milner (yes) and Lallana ended with
Milner playing Lallana in behind the full back and Mr IQ pulled it back for
Rooney to slam in for 3-1 and game over, again.
With the game won and superiority confirmed, there’s time for some good
old fashions baiting of the opposition fans.
All you can hear is “British til you die” and “One Vote and you Fucked
it up”. Very amusing. Barkley came on,
gave the ball away and got a bollocking from Roy and that was that.
I don’t remember enjoying an England international that much
for years from team performance point of view.
The Wembley England v Scotland game from last year had the best moment
(Lambert’s goal) but as a team performance, this was excellent. The players were right up for it and it shows
what we can do when things go well.
There are still issues with the England side and there were a lot of
things left untested by a pretty woeful Scottish performance but overall it was
great.
Clyney put in another really good performance which has had
most commentators crapping on like he’s some sort of well kept secret. Andy Townsend is a complete helmet but when
even he comes out with “it’s nice to find a full back who can defend”, it’s
kind of amazing how it’s taken so long for everyone to catch on. Andy always states to obvious but it seems
that non this occasion, the obvious needs to be stated. On to the other Saint and Fraser didn’t have
much to do. He shovelled one looping
header over the bar which considering he’s 9 foot tall is not really difficult
but he didn’t cover himself in glory for the Scotland goal so will surely
remain 2nd choice for the foreseeable future.
Out of 10:
Forster 6 – Would have had a 7 but didn’t cover himself in
glory for the Scotland goal
Clyne 8 – Yes, we’ve been telling you for ages Roy
Shaw 7 – Decent showing, better than Baines – we knew that
as well
Smalling 7 – Didn’t put a foot wrong. Having said that Scotland had nothing up
front when Martin was on.
Cahill 7 – Wished he was still on when Scotland brought on
Russell and May as he would have sorted them out.
Milner 6 – Good positionally but as usual, forever giving
the ball away. Better than Henderson.
Wilshere 8 – Let’s just hope he stays fit, getting better
all the time, what a ball fro the first goal.
Downing 4 – Not good enough in a million years. Never was.
Oxlade-Chamberlain 6 – Nice goal but a bit wasteful
otherwise. Dozes off defensively.
Rooney 8 – Much better, deserved his goals and was happy to
drop to the left to use Welbeck’s pace up front
Welbeck 7 – not brilliant but caused problems. Pace a massive plus and he got stuck in well
when the tackles started flying.
Gibbs 6 – Didn’t get too long on the pitch but solid. Again, better than Baines in that he can
actually defend.
Jagielka 6 – No nonsense, struggled a bit against quicker
attackers
Barkley n/a – You can see Roy’s problem with him. Gives ball away a bit but no more than Milner
Lallana 8 – Excellent as he only had to play 45 minutes.
Brilliant performance and even the corners reached. Still a massive thick twtt
though.
Lambert 7 – Came on, passed the ball, made us play
better. Maybe his club manager should
give him a game. Just a thought.
Sterling 5 – Not convinced he’s as good as the hype says.
Awful for Scotland goal – might as well have been asleep.
Here’s my composite team from the two games…
Hart, Clyne, Gibbs, Cahill, Jagielka, Wilshere, Milner,
Lallana, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Rooney, Welbeck
There’s no debate over Hart, Clyne, Cahill, Wilshere, Rooney
and Welbeck so moving on… Gibbs and Shaw were both decent and either could nail
down the left back berth and either should ahead of Baines who is firmly in the
“can’t defend” category and should have been binned after the World Cup. Maybe Ryan Bertrand has a shout in there as
well. The second centre back slot next
to Cahill is still open and neither Jagielka or Smalling look good enough to
take into Euro 2014. Milner or Henderson
is like choosing between different unpleasant methods of your own execution but
Milner was the winner from these two games and if I had to pick one never to
play for England again it would be the Liverpool donkey. I find it interesting that Hodgson keeps
mentioning James Ward-Prowse even though he’s injured. He’d fit in well in this position as a deep
lying midfielder. The attacking midfield
slots are up for grabs though the Ox and Lallana contributed the most. I’d rather have the ex-Saints thick twat as a
sub but if he’s not, Sterling can have a kip on the bench for a bit.
Overall, two games, two wins, Scotland put back in their box
as were some disaffected England fans, me included.
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