Goal-line Technology Proves that Osvaldo is a Twat
Ha ha very funny, Hull away on a Tuesday night in the sleet,
rain and wind. Thanks a lot. Why the hell we can’t be given a midweek away
game in London when there are so many possibilities is beyond me and it’s also
beyond the fixture computer it would seem.
Any hardy soul who makes the trip is either certifiably insane or a
masochist but I truly hope your adventure is a rewarding one. I’ve never been to Hull. They say one should
try everything in life but sometimes you don’t need to try something to know
you aren’t going to like it. Hull.
Regardless of how it is as a place, their football team have
done rather well this season. Having
been promoted and expected to get relegated they have had their heads above
water since day 1 and Steve Bruce has defied my belief that he’s not a very
good manager. He does look like Mrs
Doubtfire however but he’s managed his team well and in the recruitment of
Nikica Jelavic and diving little moany cheat Shane Long, he’s shown that Hull
are serious about survival. The owner of
course has made the wrong headlines by wanting to change to name to Hull Tiger
Leopard Cheetah Ocelot Jaguars and the man don’t give a fuck about what anyone
thinks.
I was thinking that we may actually rest a couple tonight
with the FA Cup match against Sunderland coming on Saturday but we don’t with
Calum Chambers coming back in for Nathaniel Clyne in what was the only change
in the 18. A quick look down the Hull team sheet sees Paul
Mc ‘how the fuck does he get a game in the Premier League’ Shane and Alex Bruce
who is of course, the managers son. He’s
miles better looking than his dad but about 2% of the player that his old man
was. Steve Bruce was very complimentary
about us when we smashed them 4-1 at our place and his pre-match interview suggests
that he’s struggling a bit with how to approach this game, such was our
dominance last time. In the even he’s
gone for it with two out and out strikers so fair play to him.
He has another chance five minutes later as following some
more patient stuff in Hull’s half, Steve Davis plays a great positional shot
into his path and Sir Rickie tries to lift it over the onrushing Harper who
makes a good save to keep it out. Two
Hull defenders and the keeper have thrown themselves in to try and block it and
they’ve all smashed into eachother.
Bruce is up first, then Harper but McShite has fucked himself and after
a lengthy stoppage is off on a stretcher.
It’s horrible when players get carried off like that, unless it’s Samir
Nasri. When it happens against a Gus
Poyet team, he will moan about it stopping the momentum. He does this because he’s a prick.
George Boyd, who I remember playing for Peterborough
against us in league 1, comes on as a sub and Hull reshuffle with a proper defender
Elmohamady taking McShite’s place. The
corner we won before the injury is swung over and J-Rod has a free header from
8 yards which he makes a bollocks of, heading it straight down and into a
defender. Hull get up our end for the first time and
win a thrown in on the left wing. It’s
hurled into the box where we defend like 8 year olds and let it bounce. Luke half clears it to Elmohamady who picks
out Long with a cross who surprisingly, doesn’t dive on the floor and complain
to the ref. Time stands still as it
flicks off his head, beats King Artur and pings off the post before it rebounds
to Boyd who can’t get any power into his bouncing effort which King Artur just
shovels over the bar. It would be just
typical to miss three decent chances and then for the opposition to score with
their first attack.
We are trying to play in the usual way but the ball through
to the forwards is poor and usually easily picked off by Hull defenders who
then leather it as far away as they can.
With Long being a midget and Jelavic not being a striker who is going to
endlessly chase lost causes, it’s pretty poor stuff. Before the game, Bruce was championing his
midfield pair of Huddlestone and Livermore (loan!!) and his centre half Davies,
saying they might make the England squad – well, the former two just watch the
ball disappearing over their heads, usually wellied there by the latter.
J-Rod does what he does best and runs at the opposition goal
and commits defenders, Livermore has got the wrong side and Elmohamady
comes in and brings him down. Despite
this being a clear yellow card offence, the ref can’t be arsed and we get a
free kick and Hull get 11 behind the ball.
More decent football though creates another opening though as the ball
breaks to J-Rod on the edge of the box and with a casual swing of his right
boot, the ball curls over Harper and pings off the angle of post and bar. A great effort and very unlucky.
The ref is pissing me off now, firstly giving a free kick
against Morgan for sod all which allows a cross into our box which Davies meets
but heads wide. Then Shaw gets pulled
back as he runs towards our own goal but no free kick is given and he ends up
giving a corner away. This gives the
Leopards another half chance as the corner is cleared and Livermore volleys
well over. Aside from charitable
refereeing, Hull
are creating nothing and seem to have nothing to hurt us with as long as we
defend the 70 yard ball forward to the strikers. Having said all that, they do then work an
opening when Jelavic decides to try running and after a piss poor attempt at a
tackle by Steve Davis, he pokes his effort straight at The King who isn’t
spilling any vodka saving that one.
The next highlight is Curtis Davies attempting a short pass
and it went straight to a Saints player so the next time it gets launched into
orbit and Long waits for Fonte to breathe on him before flopping down on the
ground. Fair play to the ref who on this
occasion, is having none of it. It’s so
bloody predictable - on the ground or in the air, Long will receive the ball
with his back to goal and just fall over.
He’s not a bad player but he is a horrible little shit.
Both teams have a chance as the half draws to a close with
Shaw picking up a booking after he hoofs Elmohamady over when trying to make up
for a crap pass from J-Rod. Huddlestone,
with his managers endorsement ringing in his ears, obviously has no clue what
to do with the free kick from out wide and just drills it into the base of the
wall in pub player fashion. The last
move of the half ends with a Lallana cross from the left and J-Rod climbs well
at the back stick but heads onto the roof of the net. Half time – we’ve been by far the better side
and playing the better football but we’ve struggled in the final third with the
ball frequently being lost by Sir Rickie and J-Rod or the pass from the
midfielders being too easy to defend against.
Hull for their part – are shite so as long as we defend properly and the
referee doesn’t do for us, it should just be a case of whether we can score or
not.
We start the second half with a sharp intake of breath as
Lallana is trashed by a none-too-subtle challenge by Figueroa and the Saints
skipper takes a while to get back up again.
Jose Fonte then makes it very easy for the ref to book him as he makes a
mistake and allows the ball to run through to Boyd, before chasing him and
bringing him down. The resulting free
kick is taken by Jelavic but it’s another effort that won’t cause any Vodka
spillage as The King catches easily.
We look very dangerous down the right as Davis and Chambers
again combine for the full back to pull out a superb cross which reaches J-Rod
about 8 feet off the ground. Heading it
is the obvious thing to do but why head it when a scissor volley will do, only
it won’t as the ball is shinned straight up in the air. There’s then a good example of how we play
and how patient we are as we work down the right but nothings on so we go all
the way back to King Artur and then out to the left wing where Shaw beats two
players before causing havoc with his cross which is scooped out for a
throw-in.
I have the feeling in my water that it’s coming but as usual
with Saints, there are more near misses to endure. First Davis plays a good ball into Sir Rickie
who hits a decent shot across the keeper from an angle but Harper gets down
well for a man of his advancing years.
The Ocelot’s defence is creaking and they are lucky to get an offside
decision as a slick 1-2 between J-Rod and Adam is flagged offside before J-Rod pokes
the ball at the keeper. The Jaguars
attacking is now limited to hopeful crosses and from of these, Long makes the
mistake of challenging King Artur in the air and it’s a bit like when a fly
flies into an oncoming lorry on a motorway.
Up the other end we win a corner as Chambers chases a lost
cause which Figueroa didn’t fancy and does enough to get the decision even
though it was 50-50 at best. The croner
is a poor one but it comes back out to Chambers who crosses and we manage to
have 4 efforts on goal. Firstly, Jose
wins a header and powers it goalwards, only for Harper to make another good
save. Lallana hits the rebound but it’s blocked out to Jose whose effort is
cleared off the line by Figueroa before it’s finally smashed into the net by
Sir Rickie and we can finally celebrate after going Yes, no, Yes, no, Yes,
No. The ref must have got word from the
goal-line technology pretty quickly that Jose’s second effort was over the line
as it’s him all the players run to. Get
in!!!
In my opinion, all we need to do is keep possession like we
have been and that’ll be enough but it should be all over as a Hull player
plays basketball in the box but the ref decides not to give a penalty which on
first viewing looked ridiculous. Steve Bruce
goes for it by introducing Aluko (whose sister is the best player in his
family) and Robbie Brady and taking off the shite Meyler and Figueroa. We bring on Guly for Sir Rickie and he goes
to the left with J-Rod going up top.
It’s still us doing all the attacking and another Chambers cross sees
Harper come for it, change his mind and totally fail to deal with it. Also not dealing with the responsibility of
having to play a bit are Curtis Davies who either bombs it forward or gives it
away and Tom Huddlestone who just kicks it anywhere as Saints midfield swarms
all over him.
Elmohamady then goes down injured, Guly kicks the ball off
and the game is stopped for ages instead of him being got off the pitch. From the restart we get given the ball back
but seem to switch off and King Artur plays a shite ball to Morgan who is too
casual and ends up having to bring down a Hull player and gets booked. What the fuck are we doing? So, the Tigers have a free kick from 20 yards
and up steps Aluko but his effort is wank and hits row Z. His sister would have done better.
We nearly wrap it up as Shaw gets forward well and his quest
for his first goal goes on as Harper saved well down low. The rebound falls to Guly who has to score
but to be fair, Davies gets in to clear it off the line with a great piece of
defending. JWP is on for Adam and the
Cheetah’s have a couple of moments.
Firstly Jelavic fastens onto a ball over the top and lobs over the bar
and then they actually play some football to get some space for Aluko and King
Artur is made to work a bit for the first time in the game but it’s comfortable
enough.
I totally love the way we play but two incidents make me
laugh in the last few minutes. Bearing
in mind we’re 1-0 up away from home, why the hell is Corky, our defensive
midfielder within 30 yards of the Hull goal but never mind as he gets as close
as he’s ever got and thumps a fantastic effort onto the angle of post and bar
whilst the fans in Row Z jump in anticipation of catching one. The next time we get the ball out on the
right I notice that Luke Shaw is in the centre forward position waiting for the
cross. What the actual fuck?
Big Vic is on for Davis, wins a header and then runs through
someone in amusing fashion and that’s it.
Another superb performance which really should have yielded more than a
1-0 win. Am I complaining though….errr
no! Back to back away wins are a rarity
so let’s just enjoy.
Are we good or what?
Yes we are and Steve Bruce knows it and says many nice things about us
after the game. Mauricio was of course
delighted with the effort and performance put in and it’s so nice that the fans
that made a horrendous trip to Hull
and back, were rewarded with a performance and more importantly, a result. There were great performances all over the
pitch but the two standouts for me were Maya Yoshida and Morgan
Schneiderlin. Maya again didn’t put a
foot wrong and Morgan was just superb and was the main reason why Huddlestone
and Livermore did nothing except smash the ball away in panic.
Next up we have Uncle Gus in the FA Cup and they have the
advantage of being at home and having had their midweek league match called
off. Surely this time we can beat them
or at the very least get them back to SMS.
Two wins from playing at Wembley.
Come on You Reds!!!
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