I guess you just have to laugh really!
Arsenal away is always a bit of a terrifying fixture for us
because we always get humped. The degree
of humping may vary but we always seem to lose.
Even if we manage to keep it close, we will lose in the last minute to
something dodgy but usually we’re three or four goals adrift by the time the 90
minutes are up. Last year of course, we
lost 6-1, managing to concede 4 goals in about 10 minutes which usually ends
things as a contest.
Whilst we were wallowing in the Championship and League 1,
Arsenal were being also rans, probably due to the 6 points a season they were
no longer being gifted by ourselves.
Depsite all this, Arsene Wenger is still there and this year there is a
bigger danger than usual that this trophyless run will end. They are top of the league, seem to have a
decent defence now and as usual, play mesmerising stuff going forward. Their two signings this year are Mesut Ozil
who is a genius, albeit a bug-eyed one and Matthieu Flamini who gives them that
steel in midfield that they’ve lacked since they last won anything. They of course also have the fruits of our
academy in Walcott and Chamberlain who are on the bench and injured today.
The media is full of articles about our academy as is the
norm at the moment but no one seems to be picking up that today is 1st
versus 3rd and if 3rd were to manage to win then 3rd
could become 1st at which point many Saints fans would collectively
have heart attacks. Since the
internationals there have been no stories about the players at St Mary’s, other
than a recycled one about Jose Fonte moving to Turkey which dates from pre-season.
The teams are announced along with a 15 minute kick off
delay for local traffic but the extra 15 minutes has not allowed Dejan Lovren
to recover from some bug or another so he’s out and Big Jos is in which with
all due respect to the Dutchman is not a good start. The extra 15 minutes has not allowed Gaston
to get back from the latest gig on his World Tour of ‘Benches I have Sat On’. The good news for Gaston is that he’ll be
able to add a few Brazilian cities to the list in the summer of 2014 s he
watches Uruguay
from the bench in the World Cup. Other
absentees include regular benchwarmers Corky, Superkelv and Guly who are all
injured to varying degrees and in their place sit Sam Gallagher, Harry Scholes
and Gazza.
The Merseyside Derby had finished in a draw so as we kicked
off we know that a 2-0 win would put us top.
Was it at all possible or would we leave North
London with that usual ‘just humped’ feeling?
The game starts in predictable fashion as Arsenal try and
pass it out from the back and we don’t let them with our three England boys
closing down Mertesacker and Koscielny and forcing harried clearances. When they do get into the midfield theough,
the movement is of a different class than we’ve seen all year and when Wilshere
tricks his way down the right his chip to the back post, sails over King Artur,
hits the inside of the post and bounces straight back to the keeper whilst we
all go ‘shiiiit’.
More Arsenal trickery on the edge of the box and Shaw dives
in to pull off a superb saving tackle on Ozil but he goes down holding his
hamstring which is slightly worrying and it’s a major surprise that after
treatment, he’s back on.
We are now riding our luck for all it’s worth and on 17 we
have another large slice as Ozil gets down our left and fires in a low cross
which is behind Ramsey but he produces a kind of back heeled flick which sends
the ball skidding along the ground and into the post and away.
I used to love the days when we had Radhi Jaidi and he would
win the ball and in the same movement, train right through the centre forward
and leave him in a mess on the ground with no air in his lungs. The new Radhi is of course Big Vic and his
Monster Tackle. Wilshere has the ball
and turns the wrong way and BANG, away comes Big Vic with the ball and Wilshere
is on the ground complaining to the referee and asking who allowed someone to
drive a truck over him.
Shaw is back up and playing but is obviously not right but
we look solid still. Big Jos is having a
decent game and it looks like we’ll be hard for Arsenal to break down as Clyne
knocks a ball back to King Artur. Clear
it, no, stop fucking about with it, no, shit, fuck, oh fuck, fuck me, fuck off! Artur has received the ball, looked to knock
it off to the left but Shaw obviously didn’t want it due to his injury so he’s
turned back to the right and been confronted by Giroud. Instead of wellying it at this point he’s
tried a few turns and it’s horrible and Giroud nicks it and runs it into the
net. I have to say that his celebration
is a bit over the top for such a goal but there you go. Fuck, once more. It’s ridiculous that we have such a good
defensive record when the last 3 we’ve let in are the opposition keeper scoring
from 100 yards, Big Vic’s mistake against Hull
and now this!
We respond well and force a corner which is half cleared and
crossed back in by Shaw and cleared out for another corner which again leads to
nothing aside from a bloody great cheer for King Artur as the ball eventually
ends up back with him. This time, he
control and clips it forward, nice and easy like.
We are forcing arsenal back though and a foul on Lallana
gives us a free kick 40 yards out which JWP clips in. A header half clear and a mis-kick by Arteta
and it falls to Adam Lallana whose volley is going in but easy enough for
Szczesny to tip over the bar. More corners, more pressure and one looks like it’s
heading for Big Jos and his square head but it’s not Tuesday night so he doesn’t
score.
An Arsenal attack gives us another opportunity as Morgan
breaks it up and it’s pas, pass, pass with Lallana in a tight area before J-Rod
lays off to JWP and picks up the return pass.
It’s a difficult one to take down but he improvises a volley which
Szczesny turns away to his left to the lurking Sir Rickie who is offside and he
screws it across the goal anyhow.
It’s all us as we approach half time until Giroud picks it
up on half way and Jos decides that he doesn’t want to chase him back so he
fouls him as soon as he can and takes the yellow card. Half time and 0-0, oh no, we’ve gifted them a
fucking goal and we’re 1-0 down.
Predictably, Luke Shaw doesn’t appear for the second half but
somewhat less predictably, Steve Davis is his replacement with Nathaniel Clyne
going to left back and JWP dropping to right back. We start off with a wonderful flowing move
which is initiated by our new right back who finds Sir Rickie who in turn finds
Morgan and his pull back is thumped left footed by Lallana from the edge of the
box but it’s straight down Chesney’s throat.
I have not got fed up with looking up how to spell his bloody name every
time I mention him.
With Dani Osvaldo on the line and ready to come on I was
expecting Sir Rickie to be making way but Adam Lallana was the man to make way
for Our Argie-Italian Rock ‘n’ Roll
Pirate. Hmmm, not sure about this as we now have two out and out strikers with
J-Rod on one wing and Steve Davis on the other and not a lot of creativity.
We give away a throw in as Clyne give Artur and shite back
pass which he has to prevent from going for a corner. From the throw, Arsenal work it back to Ozil
who shoots from a narrow angle and King Artur grabs easily.
With 20 to go, Wenger summoned Theo Walcott from the bench
in place of Cazorla but I for one was pleased he went to the right to play
against Clyne, rather than to the left to play against JWP who was playing his
first ever game at right back.
Saints are still in this game though and creating half
chances. Firstly, the Pirate bursts
through the middle and bundles his way past Mertesacker before shooting from
range and giving Chesney an easy enough save.
Sir Rickie had a shot deflected for a corner following decent set up
play by J-Rod and when the corner broke to Big Vic, he smashed it over the bar
from the edge of the box. Then J-Rod burst
through in similar fashion but seemed to lose belief he could score as
Mertesacker got across to tackle.
Wenger removed Ozil for Monreal as he was obviously a bit
concerned about securing the points but he needn’t have worried as he had the
secret weapon up his sleeve, Mark Twattenburg.
I don’t like the attention seeking prima donna tosser and he probably
felt that the game hadn’t been about him enough so from an Arsenal corner, he
gives a penalty against Fonte for a tug on Mertesacker’s shirt when directly
behind those two, Giroud had a handful of Hooiveld’s shirt. Don’t get me wrong, assuming he’s not seen
Giroud and Hooiveld then it’s a correct decision by the letter of the law, a
law which is applied in about 1 instance every 1000 times it occurs. I hope someone somewhere can put together a
highlight reel of every corner in this match and work out how many penalties
should have been given if the tosser was consistent with his refereeing. Are you telling me that Mertesacker or
Koscielny didn’t grab hold of Sir Rickie from any of our corners?
Unlike the last time Twattenburg gave a last minute penalty
against us at Norwich ,
King Artur couldn’t save us as he went the wrong way as Giroud scored
again. Imagine how mental we would have
gone if it has been 0-0 when he gave that?
The only good thing about it is that a second goal probably takes the
heat off of Artur’s dropped bollock as it was no longer the only goal.
A few minutes of injury time and then it’s all over as
Twattenburg blows the final whistle on a 2-0 defeat which is the best result
we’ve had at Arsenal for years. In the
main we played well, created a few chances and did incredibly well at
restricting Arsenal’s possession which they usually dominate, especially at
home. We’ve lost of course, due to
Artur’s dropped bullock and Twattenburg’s desire to give a last minute penalty
against us in every Saints fixture he referees.
Despite losing we picked up plaudits from Wenger and
acknowledgement that we gave them a very tough game. It would have been nice to have had a full
strength side out as everything went wrong today. Jos deputised for Dejan pretty well but Shaw
getting injured and Clyne going to left back stifled creativity from the flanks
and removed JWP from the midfield.
Lallana’s England
related substitution also cut down the creativity factor as did Gaston not
being available as a replacement. The England
hangover also seemed to apply to Sir Rickie who looked very ponderous today but
the positives were J-Rod and Dani Osvaldo who both looked lively if a little
low on confidence. Though we played some
decent stuff in Arsenal’s half, I never really felt we’d score unless it was
from a set piece or a benevolently awarded penalty for shirt pulling,
miraculously given against the big club when they were at home. Man of the match for me was Big Vic who along
with Morgan, worked incredibly hard to give s a foothold against Arsenal’s much
decorated midfield.
Where do we start with King Artur and his dropped
bollock? Well, it was truly horrific and
needless and clear the fucking thing 70 yards and they’re not going to score
are they? I was still feeling this way
about it until I watched Match of the Day 2 which for once, gave some decent
insight about how a keeper is expected to pass the ball these days, especially
when the team plays the style that Saints do.
This is something the Mauricio alluded to in his post match interview
whilst stating his support for the King. I guess the question is “Who do you
want in goal next week?” a) Artur Boruc b) a 37 year old who is Championship
standard c) a 20 year old who is League 1 standard. It’s a
big error sure but I confidently state that with either of the other two in
goal today, we’d have probably lost by more and anyone who thinks we’d have let
in less over this season with Superkelv or Gazza in goal is completely
deluded. Having received the ball from
Clyne and then looking left and seeing no one to pass to, the King of course
should have then smashed it rather than try and be too clever, or passed it out
for a throw in or even a bloody corner... in fact, anything other than hitting
us with three Cruyff turns. It was
interesting to note that ‘old school’ keeper Peter Schmeichel who was on the
MOTD2 panel was of the opinion that you just get the ball the fuck away from
your goal and worry about it later. He
didn’t use those exact words but that’s what he meant.
To recover from only our second defeat of the season, we
have a nice easy trip to Stamford
Bridge Chelsea
have now moved above us in the league which is a shame as I have to take the
flak from Chelseawanker in our office. Hopefully
Dejan and Luke will have recovered so we can give it a real go with a full
strength side. There is the Mourinho
“not lost at home ever” record to aim at and I’d love to hear his post match
excuses.
Bring on the Special One.
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