Premier League Match 11 - Southampton 1 Swansea 1

Dyer - The Southampton Years

It’s been a strange week.  There’s been a round of Champions League matches that I personally couldn’t care less about and there has been the announcement of an England squad which as usual, includes a load of Liverpool players.  It’s a comfort that you can play for an unsuccessful mid-table club and still catch the eye of the England manager.  Arsene Wenger has been moaning about Jack Wilshere getting called up after 14 months out injured which is ironic considering Arsene kicked off big time when Wilshere was selected for the England U21s one summer which resulted in him withdrawing which meant Arsenal took him to China for a pre-season tour which led to him being out injured for 14 months.

Despite all this going on, Saints seem to have been the main story in the media as we are bottom of the league and the manager hasn’t been sacked yet by the evil Don Cortese who of course rules with an iron fist, makes Nigel work in intolerable conditions, picks the team, picks the formation and tells Nigel that he has to use the Academy products etc etc.  The media know all this about The Don without actually hearing it from the horses mouth as he never talks to them.  They also can’t have heard it from any current employee because of course, the Don has had them all killed, diced up and fed to his dogs.  I love Twitter but Christ, there are some idiots on there and it gives ‘proper’ journalists a platform to put out their unsubstantiated bullshit and when you ask them to explain, they just ignore or block you.  That’s you Neil Ashton of The Mirror.

So, we are where we are which is last and we have 4 points from 10 games which means we will reach the magic 40 point safety barrier in another 90 matches.which will be about Christmas 2014.  So, in order to hit the target in the next 28 matches, we have to improve somewhat and the visit of Swansea City is a good place to start.  They started brilliantly with a 5-0 win at QPR and since then, I don’t think they’ve scored an away goal so it’s definitely one we should be looking to win.  They have ex-Saint Garry Monk who played about 10 games for us about 10 years ago and in my opinion, never looked like he had too much in his locker but he’s been playing at a higher level than Saints for a few years now including regular-ish games in the Premier League so fair play to the guy – we could almost certainly do with him now.  They also of course have Nathan Dyer who I never ever took to in a Saints shirt.  He always seemed to have ability but a poor attitude and I associate him with David McGoldrick (who was a tosser) and particularly with one of my all-time most hated Saints players, Bollocks Wright-Phillips.  Of course, the handbag nicking episode in Southsea didn’t endear him to anyone but he did score points when he scored for Swansea against the Skate Bastards in the FA Cup and gave it loads.  If he plays he’ll be up against Danny Fox which gives me the shits…. or will he?…. Luke Shaw made his debut as a sub against West Brom and I have a feeling he’ll be in from the start today.

Swansea signed Michu in the summer when we were allegedly looking at him and he’s contributed 5 league goals so far playing just behind the striker so he’ll be a threat and the new manager, replacing the defecting arse Brendan Rodgers, is Michael Laudrup who has started well but did come out with the strange opinion that it was ok to bribe players to win which kind of got swept under the carpet.  You can bribe us to win if you like Michael.  He’s had to put up with a load of shite media speculation as well about falling out with everyone so maybe it’s just our turn.

To the teams and Nigel has in my opinion, picked a good one as it’s 4-4-2 with Gazza retained in goal despite Boruc once again being available.  Luke Shaw was in at left back as kind of expected and the midfield saw the return of Corky to partner Morgan in the middle with Adam Lallana and the recalled Punch on the wings.  Sir Rickie was up front with The Great Gaston just behind him which meant that Steven Davis, J-Rod and Foxy were all finding themselves on the bench.  Guly didn’t even make that which is one in the eye for the people who believe that Don Cortese insists that he has to play.  Swansea didn’t appear to have a centre forward in the line up, Garry Monk was in the team and Little Shit Dyer was on the bench.

I want us to win this game today for the 3 points and for Nigel Adkins but also because my brother in law is coming to the game with us… or the Swansea Born Sheep Shagging Welsh bastard to give him his full title… he has though adopted Saints as his second team so he was hoping for a draw today.

The game starts and I thought that Swansea thought we had a ball of our own as they sure as hell didn’t want to let us to have their one.  They looked very comfortable with it but after about 5 minutes we eventually got hold of it and looked much more direct and dangerous than they did.

On about the ten minute mark we have our first ‘ooooh’ moment but it’s with a small ‘o’ and not a capital one as Morgan takes on a shot which is wildly optimistic and lunches it over the bar.  We have obviously identified that the high ball into Sir Rickie is going to give us a bit of joy and a few minutes later a Clyne cross is headed down by the big man and Adam Lallana’s snap shot is well held by Tremmel in the Swansea goal.  Gaston is producing some nice touches and revelling in his free role which allows him to get on the ball and he’s next to have a pop but his left footed curler is a couple of yards wide. 

There have been two man debates in the Premier League this year and the other one is about diving, mainly about people who go to ground and therefore make life more difficult for referees.  Some referees don’t need the players making it hard for them and that’s because some, like Andre Marriner, who is the wanker in the black today, are fucking useless.  Nathaniel Clyne bursts past the Routledge on the outside who clearly grabs his arm before then putting is arm across Clyne’s chest.  The whole ground know it’s a penalty but because Clyne stayed on his feet instead of collapsing like he’d been shot, it doesn’t get given.  So everyone, here’s an incident of a player being honest and getting no reward for it... will it be highlighted by the media and shown on Match of the Day etc?  Of course it fucking won’t.

Swansea don’t have much threat up front as Michu (he’s from Wales) doesn’t look comfortable playing with his back to goal and he doesn’t have the pace to burst past the defenders.  They are relying on neat interplay involving Pablo Hernandez (from Wales) who works Ki Sung-Yong (another good Welsh boy from the Valleys) who goes for the near post, forcing Gazza to tip it wide.  Shaw, our new left back, hasn’t signed for Arsenal yet and is doing a good job against Hernandez, showing a decent turn of speed to get back at the winger when he’d been caught upfield.

Our midfield is looking so much better than in previous matches with both Corky being central to everything and Morgan digging in well but a little too strongly as he trashes Brittan in the centre of midfield and picks up a deserved booking.  Ashley Williams (actually from Wales) followed suit a few minutes later by taking out Gaston to give a free kick in a decent area.  With Sir Rickie and Gaston standing over the ball, no one had any idea who was going to take it and eventually Gaston chipped it to the totally free Jose who from the corner of the six yard box, made a total bollocks of it, squirting it across the goal for a Swansea boot to hack it clear.

Bearing in mind the Clyne incident from earlier, Adam Lallana decided to have a little dive when he goal goalside of Rangel and into the box and surprisingly (but thankfully in a way) Mr Marriner got this one right and waved it away.  We had reached half time, having kept a clean sheet for 45 minutes.

The half time section of my reports used to solely focus on the Chuckle Brothers but as some have commented, I’ve not been talking about them much recently.  I don’t know what it is but despite our iffy performances, they’ve been pretty quiet and it’s been nice.  There has been the occasional ‘why-deeee-doooo-dahhhhht?’ from the whining  one and the odd deliberate spoonerism from the  moronic one but nothing that was going to make you turn round and strangle one of them.... until today.  The second half his minutes old when it happens.  The moronic one is a foreigner of some description (possibly Spanish or from Mars) and he takes great pleasure is pronouncing foreign players names in what he thinks is the correct manner, all rolling of the R’s and all that... for example, do Prado becomes ‘do Prrrrraaaaarrrrdo’ and yes it is annoying.   Never more so when he decides to shout out ‘ Paaaablo Herrrrrnaaaandezzzzz’ at the top of his voice like a commentator does when said player has scored.  Not only is Hernandez on the other team but he hasn’t scored and the ball is nowhere near him.  In fact, the Swansea keeper has it.  I turn round and notice that the twat is reading the squad lists on the back of the programme and not watching the game at all.  I hate him, big time.

Back to the game and Swansea fashion a half chance which Routledge smashes a mile over the bar and it’s his last involvement as he jogs off to be replaced by Nathan Dyer who nicks the electronic board and the linesmans watch as he makes his way onto the pitch.  Saints are in general, in the ascendency and make a mess of a glorious opportunity as Adam finds Morgan inside the box but his attempt to pick out Sir Rickie rather than have a dig himself, is too short and allows Williams to throw himself in front of the big man before he gets the shot away.

Sir Rickie is having a good game in a creative capacity and his knock down is collected by Lallana who tries to go past Williams and goes down.  It looks like a dive from where I am and I’m not remotely surprised that it’s not a penalty.  There is a bit of excitement as the whistle blows but it all turns to groans and bile at Marriner as the book comes out for diving.  It was only when watching the incident back later that you realise that though the original lunge missed, in the the follow through Williams trod on Adam’s foot and it was a penalty all day long.  The earlier dive had obviously counted against him here.

Unperturbed we keep coming forward and the goal which looked like it was coming, actually did as Sir Rickie found Morgan in the box who chested it up in the air before heading over the onrushing keeper to make it 1-0.  Now all we had to do was keep a clean sheet for another 25 minutes.  Easy.

Well for 10 minutes it looked easy as we didn’t look in any trouble from Swansea and we were going to add to the lead if anything and then guess fucking what.  From our own corner, it got half cleared back to Corky about 40 yards out who instead of sending it back in to the 8 men who were in front of him, turned and gave it to Maya who went back to Gazza which was pointless.  Gazza then gave a ball to Maya which had a flashing blue light on top of it and the Japanese had a crap touch allowing Dyer to rob, burgle, pilfer and steal from him, drive forward and hit it across Gazza and in off the far post.  FUCK!!!!

Foxy comes on for the clearly tiring Shaw who has had a really promising debut and immediately gets forward and slings in a decent cross which is cleared.  Saints are still the better side and have a near thing as a Ramirez corner is met by Sir Rickie but the header slides wide.  There is time for a hero to emerge but it’s not going to be Andre Marriner who doesn’t give anything when Lallana gets trashed by Monk, arguably inside the box.  If it’s not a foul then he has to send Adam off but no.  It has to be said though that Adam didn’t get the penalty because of his dive in the first half so you have to say that it serves him right.

Swansea know they’ve got out of jail here and the timewasting starts with the Korean bloke managing the feat of staying down in theatrical fashion as we get into injury time and Swansea have used all 3 subs.  He’s running around ok to defend a corner though before collapsing again.  I apologise if he turn out to be injured.

So, one nil and we fucked it up.  Never has the song been so true as we loaded the gun and shot ourselves in the foot and handed Swansea a point which they had done nothing to earn and didn’t deserve.  Not their fault but they’ll be wondering how the fuck they got out of St.Mary’s with a point.  On the plus side we played a lot better than we have in any game bar the Villa match and looked like a decent team.  Jack Cork made a huge difference to how solid we looked and it was great to see him, Punch, Gaston and Sir Rickie get through 90 minutes without getting substituted.  Luke Shaw was also a major, major plus and once he gets a few games under his belt, I can’t see him losing his place until we sell him to sodding Arsenal probably.

Nigel’s post match interview seemed to blame Gazza for the fuck up on the goal but I don’t think it’s as clear as that.  Why did Corky play it backwards to Yoshida when he had 8 players in front of him?  Why did Yoshida go back to the keeper from near the half way line when under no pressure and why when he received the ball back from Gazza, did he not realise that Dyer was up his arse and just welly it into touch rather than trying to control it and finally, why couldn’t Syer have been shit like he was for us and shank it across the goal.  Whatever your opinion of who is to blame and whoever the media try and pin it on, it isn’t Nigel’s fault is it?

And then… following on from Gareth Bale a week or so ago, Dyer gave an interview in which he was very nice and respectful towards Saints and like Bale, acknowledged our role in his development.  Fair play to him (he said through gritted teeth).

Onwards and I will be fucking amazed if the media don’t build up next weeks’ match away at QPR as about ‘loser gets the sack’.  Mark Hughes has spent millions on 30+ year olds and they haven’t won as yet, in fact, our point today has taken us above them in the league.  We will be going into that game with a bit of momentum from the performance in this match and a bit of belief that we can get out of the hole that we’ve dug for ourselves but that will all evaporate if we fail next week.  Time to deliver.

Gazzaniga's Pass to Yoshida arrived in this