Premier League Match 12 - Southampton 2 Liverpool 3

Yeah, Alright then.... Played the Ball Hasn't He.

What you really don’t want when you’re bottom of the league and you only have four points from eleven games, is a visit from a team who have won fifteen out of seventeen this season in all competitions. Unfortunately, that’s what we’ve got today with Liverpool visiting St Mary’s. It was hoped that Liverpool would have some sort of Jürgen Klopp hangover this season and that his replacement, Arne Slot, was going to be the next Erik ten Hag, plucked from Dutch football and finding the step up rather too much. Somewhat irritatingly, Slot has had none of those problems and you could argue quite convincingly that Liverpool are a much better side this season.

This has been done without them signing a player who has made any impact, with Enrico Chiesa being the only new arrival, and he hasn’t played. What Slot has done is some rather obvious things. Ibrahima Konaté is now Virgil van Dijk‘s regular partner in the centre of the defence and proving what everybody else apart from Jürgen Klopp knew already, that he was considerably better than the likes of Joe Gomez, Jarrel Quansah and Joël Matip from last season. He has also sorted out their defensive midfield issue by using last year signing Ryan Gravenberch in that role which allows the likes of Alexis Mac Allister and Dominic Szoboszlai to play further forward. Also in the mix this year is Curtis Jones who has made massive strides from the player that he was last season and now has a very good chance of cementing himself as an England starter, let alone a Liverpool starter. So, I wanted Liverpool to be having a mid-table nothing season but it really isn’t going to happen based on the start they have had so far. There is a bit of a cloud hanging over them with Virgil van Dijk, Mo Salah and Trent Alexander Arnold all being out of contract at the end of the season, but for now, there are no issues with the form of any of those players.

I wish we had their problems. Well, post Wolves - Russell Martin is still here which was always going to be the case once we got a couple of days past the Wolves defeat it seems that was always going to be the case. Looking ahead, we have eight games before the New Year and that will mark exactly halfway through the season. I would suggest that we need to be on 15 points by the time we reach the New Year or else we have absolutely no chance of staying up. The international break has done us no favours with two of our regular starters coming back injured. In fact, Aaron Ramsdale didn’t even get to join up with England as a broken finger required an operation and it still not known how long he will be out for. Jan Bednarek picked up a knee ligament injury whilst playing for Poland so that at least means that Jack Stephens will be in the team in his natural position, rather than shoehorned in elsewhere.

He will be partnering England new boy Taylor Harwood-Bellis Who evoked the spirit of Rickie Lambert on his England debut by coming off the bench and thumping a superb header into the net. It will probably be our Southampton moment of the season. The thing that I took from the goal was the quality of the cross by Jude Bellingham. As soon as it left his foot, I knew that Taylor was going to score because the ball was always going to drop just over the central defender and the Saints man was lurking at the back post. Brilliant stuff.

We had some feedback from PGMOL about the shockers we had at Wolves and they basically said that they were right and in both cases, the correct decision was made.  What's the point?  If you're not going to take responsibility for an incorrect use of your own processes then what is the point?  At least in all likelihood, we won't have the shit to deal with next season.

If we want to have any chance of keeping players like Taylor, Tyler Dibling, Aaron Ramsdale and Matty Fernandes, then we need to stay up and that starts today, no matter how hard this game looks on paper.  So, Russell has some decisions to make with the line-up and when it drops, the team news is a bit of a WTF moment. Tall Paul is starting a Saints game for the first time in nearly 2 years and Russell Martin’s saviour Ryan Fraser, is also in the team and it looks like he’s playing a left back, which will be interesting as he will be up against Mo Salah.

As the game starts, the immediate surprise is that Flynn Downs appears to be lining up in the middle of a back three, which leaves Fernandes playing a lot deeper than he normally does in midfield next to Lallana. Regardless, Fernandes obviously has a license to push forward and when THB finds him in the centre circle and he takes off towards behind Liverpool‘s midfield, but skims the shot straight at Kelleher.  We have however, had a shot and it’s on target so hang out the bunting.

Liverpool‘s first effort is not long in coming and created down the left by Gakpo, who creates room for cross before floating towards the back post and over the horribly out of position Wee Man.  Despite rising to the enormous height of five foot five, Wee Man misses it and Salah brings it down and blasts it at McCarthy, who stands tall to knock it away.

Liverpool build-up the pressure and we are unable to get out for about 10 minutes. We are grateful for Darwin Nunez who goes down injured when there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him which eventually causes the referee to stop the game and for us to re-organise. Once the game is stopped, the big prima donna is up on his feet.  Dickhead. He’s obviously a very good player but he’s definitely not at the same level as Liverpool’s other forwards and he is, as mentioned, a dickhead.  Our centre forward is Tall Paul and he’s started well, holding the ball up and using it well and then he gets in a spot of bother on the edge of our area and casually gets out of it by twisting, chopping and falling his way past three Liverpool players before executing a no-look pass out to KWP.  Brilliant stuff.

Moment of the Season So Far

Lallana is of course playing against his old team and is clearly very popular with their supporters, but he puts a bit of a dent in that with a flying head-on lunge on Gravenberch, which is miles away from the ball. Liverpool don’t make a meal of it where usually the ref would be surrounded, and it’s only a yellow card, but it was one of those ones where you could’ve had no complaints if he was sent off.  I’m waiting for the inevitable VAR check but it never happens and it’s hard to see why not. Saints half clear the free kick to the edge of the box where Fernandes loses it to Szoboszlai, and his effort is easily held by Macca.

McCarthy easily fields another daisy cutter, this time from Bradley before rolling the ball quickly out to Fernandes on the edge of the penalty area despite the fact that he has three Liverpool players up his arse. Fernandes is just about keeps the ball and knocks it back to Downes on the six-yard line And he produces a horrible shank of a clearance to the edge of the box where Szoboszlai takes a touch before easily placing it past McCarthy and off the far post.  For fucks sake, another ridiculous fucking goal we’ve conceded.

Having made things more difficult for ourselves, the tactical response from Russell is to shuffle the deckchairs on the sinking ship, which KWP and Wee Man swapping sides though there is a benefit as Saints win a corner when KWP’s low cross is flicked away and from the corner, Dibling eventually finds Downes in the box and one of the villains of the Liverpool goal, turns and hits it and Kelleher makes a really good save. To the surprise of no one, Lallana hits the deck again and he’s not getting back up and off he goes to be replaced by Joe Aribo.

Tyler Dibling is beginning to come into the game a little bit more now and picks the ball up in midfield and drives at the Liverpool defence leaving defenders in his wake before Robertson sticks his leg out and cuts him down on the edge of the box. Time stands still and the referee seems to be buffering before he realises that he has to make a decision and eventually points to the spot. Just before the referee blew, Robertson had been arguing that it wasn’t even a foul and now he’s arguing that it was outside the box, the rat faced little prick.  VAR will tell us, as that’s infallible and here's the transcript...

Hi there Stockley Park

Can’t believe we’re using PGMOL resources, reviewing a Southampton penalty claim against Liverpool!

Yeah… but last week, the Maths Teacher gave one and then it got overturned

So what?

I was thinking about that before I blew up and gave it just now – so you can overrule it.

OK, we’ve had a look and the contact is clearly outside the box…Yes, but Robertson’s touching the line

What are the rules?

Fuctifino?

[Fanfare sounds]

WE WILL CONSULT THE HOLY PGMOL RULE BOOK!!!

Err. Where’s the rule book?

[Muffled noises whilst they look for rule book under takeaway boxes]

Shit, Howard’s got it...

Where is he?

He’s busy writing last weeks’ apology letters

Shit, ok, on-field decision stands

But we disallowed one of Southampton’s on-field decisions last week and then said we were right, even though that was clearly bollocks

Yeah, better let this one stand, we can get them back later.

After all that we can finally take the penalty and up steps Armstrong.. and it’s shit, straight down the middle and Kelleher saves it but he pushes it back out and Armstrong stuffs the rebound in despite the goalkeeper getting another touch.  Doesn’t matter how it ends up in the net and so we are deservedly level.

We get to halftime relatively comfortably and that’s been a good performance so far apart from the shit goal we’ve given away. We pretty much have gone to toe with them and it’s not been too bad.  Tall Paul has looked decent upfront and has proved to be a bit of a handful and we’ve responded well to the setback of giving the shocking goal away.

Five minutes into the second half and Gakpo runs across the back of Tall Paul as he advances up the pitch and down goes the big man and this looks like a bad one, with him making the ‘substitution’ sign as soon as he hits the deck.  He tries to get up to walk off but sits down again, and eventually they have to get some guys over with lifting equipment to get the big man back to his feet. Off he goes but surprisingly it’s not Cameron Archer who comes on but Lesley Ugochukwu which means Tyler Dibling being pushed further upfront with Armstrong

Dibling‘s first involvement afterwards is to pick a ball up from Fraser and drive forward from the halfway line, past a few players before getting to about 30 yards out and smashing one left footed narrowly over the bar. What a player.  Make the most of him while you can.

Meanwhile, Darwin is a shit Andy Carroll but he is still dangerous and manages to win a corner as his shot which was no doubt not going near the goal, was deflected away.  In it comes in McCarthy rises highest, in confident fashion before dropping the ball and Stephens stabs it away to Wee Man on the right.  He plays a lovely ball down the line to Dibling who turns and chips over to put Armstrong through.  Armstrong‘s first touch is predictably poor but he retrieves it and turns around and finds Fernandes in acres of space in the penalty area and Portuguese just calmly slides it into the net giving Kelleher no chance. Fuck me, we are winning.  Amazing scenes.  How do we handle this scenario then?

More attacking as we bring the ball out from defence and find Fernandes, who plays an optimistic ball between the defenders trying to pick up Armstrong’s and out comes Kelleher, misses the ball and trashes into the Saints forward. Surely that’s worth a look at? Anyone? no? Fernandes is on his knees because he can’t believe it but the ref is having absolutely none of it.  He’s given a free-kick the other way for something.  Meanwhile at Stockley Park.

Shall we look at that?

What?

Kelleher trashed Armstrong with no ball anywhere near

Has the ref asked us to look at it?

No

And we’ve allowed them to have one today already?

Yes

Keep quiet, nothing to see here.

Back up our end and Salah chips a lovely ball over the top but luckily for us, he’s found Nunez who tries to pick out Diaz at the back post but manages to make a bollocks of a pretty simple cross and it’s behind him.  No let up though as Gravenberch then picks up the ball on half way and chips it over the top of the defence to meet the run of Salah who almost controls the ball goalwards, which wouldn’t be a problem if McCarthy had not come running out of his goal and stood in fucking no man’s land.  He's so far out of position he's closer to the Liverpool fans in the corner that to the goal. It’s a horrific piece of goalkeeping and another present. 2-2.

Archer and Sugawara are on for Armstrong and Fraser and Salah, who has now come to life after doing nothing all game, swings across over a cross with his left foot and Sugawara gets himself in a horrific position and the ball bounces off of some part of his anatomy and hits his hand And from my view in the Chapel End, about 10 yards away, it’s a clear penalty and an absolute certainty that the referee is going to point to the spot which he duly does. Another certainty is that Salah is not going to miss an even though McCarthy goes the right way he gets nowhere near it and we have found a way, to throw away our lead and then go behind.

And we Find Another Way To Lose

Saints half and puff but we pretty much know the game is done at this point.  We get to 90 and Liverpool break away and Diaz on the left, crosses, which flicks off of Fernandes and lands with Salah all of six yards out and he smashes it first time against the inside of the post and away.

And before the minimum eight minutes is up, the referee blows his whistle and we’ve lost again. To be fair, we played pretty well today considering the opposition and we at least carried a goal threat but if you score two goals at home, you should be picking up at least a point and the reason we didn’t is because of horrific mistakes on all three Liverpool goals. The goals conceded today were nothing to do with the system, they were down to horrendous mistakes by experienced players. Yes they are encouraged to take risks and play but they have to realise when it’s on and when it just isn’t and not just throw yourself into the flames and hope it all works out.  Goal 1- McCarthy playing it short to Fernandes on the edge of the penalty area when he had absolutely nowhere to go with it, which ended up with Flynn Downes scuffing it along the ground straight to Szoboszlai.  Goal 2 - McCarthy horribly misjuding the floated ball over the top and Goal 3 - What on earth was Sugawara doing for the penalty.
 
The team looked very strange on paper with the main concern being Ryan Fraser at left back but to be fair, Wee Man did a decent job on the left before switching to the right and it was his replacement, who most people including myself would’ve picked from the start, who gave away the third goal.

The other headline was a start for Paul Onuachu who was excellent upfront and did everything that he could’ve done with regards to battling and holding the ball up and bringing other people to play the injury looks bad though and it would be horrible if having waited so long for his chance, he spends a long time on the sidelines as he deserves a run in the team. Beating four players and then pulling off a no look pass is the sort of thing that gives you cult hero status even if you never actually score any goals or anything like that.

It wasn’t obvious from the team sheet but Flynn Downs playing in the middle of a three-man defence seem to be very left field but it worked pretty well, shit first goal aside and it’s certainly something we may see more often with Bednarek being injured and none of the other central defenders being trusted. Playing Downes in defence of course relies on us having someone else to put in the centre of midfield and Adam Lallana only lasted 25 minutes today but a positive was that both Joe Aribo and Lesley Ugochukwu did decent jobs when they came on

Two players who did not deserve to finish on the losing side were Tyler Dibling and Mateus Fernandes, who were both absolutely outstanding. Fernandes has deserved a goal for a while now and it was a brilliant team effort today that he finished off to give us a short-lived 2-1 lead. Dibling was a constant menace whenever he got on the ball and world-class defenders had no idea what to do with him. It makes an absolute mockery that he’s been left out of the team recently and it was good to see him play 90 minutes today.  On top of the shambles last week it's just more evidence of a totally broken system.

Again, we find ourselves talking VAR and referees.  We could have had a penalty in the first few minutes as Konate ran over Armstrong, we did get one after a five minute check, when Robertson fouled Dibling on the edge of the box and then we didn't get one we should have got when Kelleher trashed Armstrong.  Apparently, he instantly gave a pull by Armstrong despite both players having hold of eachothers shirts.  Very decisive refereeing, well done.

At the end of the day, despite there being a lot of positives, it’s another defeat and the league table does not make pleasant reading and if this season was a car journey, the bridge that is just around the next bend has fallen down and Russell Martin is still driving the same road as before, refusing to turn off. Yes there is a long way to go but as said at the start, unless we can get up to about fifteen points by the New Year, we are completely fucked and that target means getting eleven points out of the next seven games and as we all know, the fixtures are not easy, starting with Brighton away next Friday. Brighton is of course Russell Martin’s hometown and he really has to go there and get a result or else he might not be getting on the coach back to Southampton.  If that comes to pass, at least he’ll have a short walk home.  Interestingly, Leicester have decided to pull the trigger on their manager today with Steve Cooper leaving so Russell must be nailed on favourite to be next.

Apparently, no one has ever stayed up having had 10 defeats out of the first 12 games so we are already needing snookers after less than a third of the season. Russell pointing out that we broke records last season, which is a statement that doesn’t exactly give me the level of comfort that he might think it does.  Actions Russ, not words.

Up the fucking Saints

Premier League Match 11 - Wolves 2 Southampton 0

 

Jack Weighs Up What Ban He'd Get if he Called the Ref a C***

It’s always a bit of an occasion when you are 19th out of 20 in the league table and you get to play the team that is in theory, worse than you are. Today we get that scenario as we make the trip to Molineux to play Wolves, managed by ex-Skate legend Gary O’Neil.

As there always is, there is a lot of talk in the football media about the sack race, which is of course about who will be the first manager to lose his job. In the Premier League, that title was of course taken by Erik ten Hag but today sees the meeting of two other managers who are pretty high on everyone’s list to be next. Russell Martin has kicked the can down the road a week, with our win against Everton but Gary O’Neil is still waiting for his first three points of the season having had just three draws in Wolves opening ten games. He also only had one win in the last ten games of last season as well so on the one hand, it is quite amazing how he is still there.

O’Neil and Wolves would’ve been hoping for a win in their last game which was at home to Crystal Palace where they were 2-1 up with five minutes to go, ended up drawing 2-2 but in truth, were fortunate not to lose. The only crumb of comfort they have is that their fixture list does seem to have been ridiculously frontloaded with the best teams in the division with six of their seven defeats coming against Manchester City, Liverpool, Villa, Newcastle, Arsenal and Chelsea.

The main threat is provided by the excellent Matheus Cunha, who plays as an attacking midfielder and Joao Gomes seems to be a decent player as well. They also have of course, a player that we know well in Mario Lemina and to be honest, it should’ve been a sacking offence for O’Neil to even consider making Lemina the captain, given how flaky he is, but that’s what happened at the start of the season. There have not been many players over the years that have made me as angry as Lemina did in his time at Southampton where he clearly had the ability and clearly did not give a shit. He was part of that famous triumvirate of shit recruitment alongside Wesley Hoedt and Guido Carrillo.  The last time Lemina played against us, he got sent off at St Mary’s when Wolves were already 1-0 down. Despite having the mercurial Nathan Jones as manager, we managed to lose that game because it’s more difficult to play against 10 men when you are already 1-0 up. Twat.

For the past few years Wolves have always had this very suspect recruitment model of getting their players almost exclusively from one agent. I always felt that it was going to come crashing down at some point but was not particularly expecting it to happen this season. It goes to show that anyone who is not one of the big boys can plummet if they take their eye of the ball even slightly.  However they recruit, they still have a squad that should not be where it is in the table.

Russell Martin has to be sending out the team to go and win this game today. Any away point is valuable but we’re not going to get a better chance than today, this season to get three on the road. I suspect he is going to go down the same route that he has done in the last few games and pick a team to keep it tight in the first half and then look to the likes of Tyler Dibling to come off the bench and make a difference.  Not sure I agree with that given the opposition today, who average three goals a game conceded.  Surely we want to get at them and Tyler is our best attacker.  Anyhow, unchanged it is…. Only it isn’t as Flynn Downes has dropped out and Aribo starts, giving us a midfield with no real legs in it.

Away we go and the first time we let Wolves have the ball, Dawson brings the ball out to Toti, who tries to play it forward but it’s straight to KWP who decides not to head it out but to try and cushion a diving header down to THB.  This high-risk effort instead just presents it to Cunha.  Cunha sets off on a diagonal run from the left wing by the halfway line and gets to the edge of the penalty area totally unhindered by any of our midfielders or defenders, before sliding in an excellent straight ball to pick up the run of Sarabia who is coming off the right and he takes one touch around Ramsdale and slots into the net. Two minutes gone and fucking shit. Nice start lads.

We respond and win a corner and straight off the training ground we work it to Adam Armstrong who is coming towards the ball on the edge of the box, but his first time effort flies about a yard wide. Decent effort to be fair.

Another attack and Armstrong finds Aribo who finds KWP. His cross is flicked away by Dawson as far as Manning at the back stick and he tries to tee up Fernandes for a shot which is blocked, and over goes Fernandes as he tries to get the rebound.  Surely a penalty but no worries as the ball goes back out to Manning who lashes it in the top corner to notch his first Saints goal. Go on Rhino… There are a few token gestures from Wolves defenders but we’re off to VAR anyhow.  Surely they’re not going to give us a penalty?

Maths Teacher Does What He's Told

“Hi Tommy Bramall, this is Chris Kavanagh on VAR”
“Hi Chris – what’s the issue.”
“The blatant foul by Fernandes?”
“I saw that – coming together, no problem – that’s why I didn’t give it as I was looking straight at it”
“Listen you Maths teaching twat, I’m the senior referee here”
“But we’re not supposed to change decision unless it’s a howler.”
“Fuck all that high bar shit – clear foul”
“But it isn’t… six of one, half a dozen the other”
“Listen you prick.  It’s bad enough you’re refereeing instead of teaching maths and I’m up here.  I need to make my mark. Sending you to the screen.  Making it look like it’s your idea.”
“But this is just wrong... Semedo is looking to go down, moves in front of him and collapses and it’s never a foul”
“Fuck off you little turd.  Learn how all this works” 
“OK Chris… don’t tell Howard I argued.”

Absolutely fucking ridiculous.  The next 20 minutes pass me by to be quite honest because I’m wondering what the fucking point is.  If they are going to get involved and decide that that is definitely a wrong decision by the referee when it’s clearly a 50-50 challenge which is open to interpretation. What’s the fucking point?

Meanwhile, there’s a lot of pretty football about thirty yards out and we do create one opportunity as some intricate play between Manning and Lallana tees up Fernandes to take a swing from the edge of the box but it hits Dawson and goes for a corner. Fernandes corner is in the right area but THB, off-balance, can only head it wide of the post.

Half time and putting VAR aside, we’ve created very little but Wolves are unquestionably there for the taking.  They are shite but as usual, we’ve not created enough issues for their piss poor defence.  Russell’s answer is to take off Manning for Dibling as he realises that we might actually need a player on the pitch who can go past people. As the half wore on, it became apparent how fucking useless Adam Armstrong and Cam Archer have been against a deep defence but they get given another opportunity and Manning, who has been one of our better players, goes off. Do we really still need three central defenders on the pitch?

We start the second half by pissing around with the ball in our own penalty area and a THB pass gets blocked and picked up by Lemina, who sets up Gomes on the edge of the box and his low, drilled effort is comfortably saved by Ramsdale.  More passing around the back but more controlled this time and Ramsdale tries to pass the ball into Fernandes feet in midfield but he shoved off it by Wolves player and the ref ignores it and the ball has gone to Archer who gets manhandled off the ball by Dawson but once again, the maths teacher doesn’t think that’s a foul either. Dawson knocks it into Lemina, who passes it to Cunha 30 yards out and he takes a touch into space before lashing a brilliant shot over the top of Ramsdale and into the top corner. 2-0, game over but surely this will be disallowed for either one of the two fouls?

No Foul There. That's How Our Shirt is Supposed to Look

“Hi Tommy”
“What’s up Chris?”
“Well I see that you’ve given fuck all again”
“Yes but you’ll help me right?”
“Why would I do that.  I’ve had Howard on the phone tell me that he’s going to have to apologise to fucking Southampton over the first goal, so now he wants us to go light touch.”
“So, no foul by Dawson then?”
“Well, he’s grabbed the collar of Archer’s shirt and chucked him on the deck but I’m sticking to the brief and not re-reffing it.”
“So, Southampton get fucked again?”
“Yep… no worries, I’ve got them between 5 and 10 points for the season on a spread bet.”

Goal.

Well what do you fucking know? Might as well blow the final whistle now ref and go home and study some algebraic because this game is done. What’s the fucking point?  Yes we are shit but we are playing against VAR as well.  Utter waste of fucking time. Thank you, Chris Kavanagh and Thomas Bramall.

In keeping with this game being a complete waste of time, we decide to be bring on Ben Brereton Dustbin along with Yuki Sugawara and off goes Jack Stephens who should’ve gone off at half-time, and Joe Aribo who has really been off the pace. Within a few minutes there’s two more with Lallana, who has got gradually more ineffective as the game has gone on and Cameron Archer who has done nothing, and they are replaced by the big lads, Les and Paul.

The only chance we create between this point and the end of the game is Ramsdale passing the ball straight to Wolves player Bellegard on the halfway line he tries a shot first time which goes closer to the corner flag than the goal.  There’s another chance coming down the Wolves left as Gueddes fires a ball across the box and the sliding Bellegarde misses it.

Well just fuck off. That was an absolutely pitifully, painfully bad performance, especially when you consider the magnitude of the game. Yes, we got fucked by the officials both on the pitch and at Stockley Park, but from the moment Manning’s goal was disallowed until the final whistle, we created nothing. No shots on target, no saves for the goalkeeper.

The start of the game was atrociously bad with Wolves breaking through a Flynn Downes sized hole behind our midfield and Sarabia opened the scoring.  The chance came from a ridiculous decision by KWP to not head the ball off the pitch and try to someone cushion a header down for us to win possession.  We then settled into the game and equalised, or so we thought before we picked up one of those VAR decisions that just makes you think the whole game is completely bent or that all of these officials are completely incompetent. I lost my concentration for most of the rest of the first half in a “what’s the fucking point” mood, that I was thrown into by the goal being disallowed.   In the second half, despite the introduction of our best and only decent attacking decent player in Tyler Dibling, we created fuck all, with just the Wolves second goal to get angry about, because there were two fouls in the build-up that were both worse than the alleged foul that Fernandes committed to get our goal disallowed.

Dragan: Not This Shit Again

Speculation is going to be huge again regarding the future of Russell Martin and it’s hard to make an argument for him. That was pathetic today. We have no idea of how to turn possession into shots on goal and that has not improved all season. He recognizes it but does nothing about it.  Once again here today, he picked an extra defender for the first half which enables us to dominate possession but does nothing for attacking play.  When we changed things in the second half, you then realise quite how bad the options are. Cameron Archer has shown promise in some games that he was absolutely woeful today, giving up possession every time it went near him.  Adam Armstrong was an absolute void today – no idea what to do when the ball comes to him unless it’s a simple lay-off.  Zero creativity and can’t beat a player at all.  I can’t even be bothered to say anything about Ben Brereton Diaz, other than he’s just shite and once again, we bring on Tall Paul and don’t give him any crosses to attack.

We have no idea of how to create chances and that is down to Russell Martin. Even when we’ve got the 6 foot 8 guy on the pitch, we have no idea how to get the ball to him to make him a goal threat and let’s face it, it’s not exactly rocket science. You get it down the wings and you get crosses in. If you use him as a target man, you get other players around him. It’s not difficult.  Do we even train to learn how to play with Paul on the pitch or do we just do fucking rondos endlessly?

As we know, Russell Martin prioritises possession above chances and therefore we pick an extra defender or an extra midfielder and leave out the only guy who can take on a player and we do nothing.  Make no mistake though, all of the strikers are average to shit and anyone would struggle to keep this team out of the relegation zone with that selection of forwards. Today we played against a Wolves team that concede an average of three goals a game and our forwards made them look like prime Baresi and Maldini at AC Milan.  This is why I can’t get my head around Tyler Dibling not starting. This was a vital game and as our best attacking player, he really does have to start, especially when you consider that the alternatives are a complete shit show. I know that he can’t play every game, so he really should be missing the games where it’s incredibly unlikely that we are going to get anything from, like Manchester City away. All home games and away games against the bottom half, should see him on the pitch for as close to 90 minutes as possible.

Our squad is going to be a massive issue if we do pull the trigger because what a manager of any pedigree is going to look at the selection of strikers that we’ve got available and think he can get this team out of the relegation zone. Absolutely no chance.  We have recruited in line with Russell’s philosophy, which is why we don’t have any physicality in the team, why we don’t have much pace in the team, why we don’t have anyone else who can take on a player.  Russell Martin has gone into this season thinking we can pick a team of nice footballers and that would do it.  Naïve in the extreme, thinking that this approach would work in the Premier League. 

At Premier League level, it’s not enough to dominate position forty yards out and try and pass the opposition to death.  Defences don’t lose their concentration like they do in the Championship. In the Championship, you could pass the ball around and have possession of 80% and eventually, the centre backs would doze off, or you’d cross the ball into the box and someone would slice of clearance because they were tired, and the ball would hit Adam Armstrong on the arse and go in the net. A lot of Championship sides aren't used to playing against possession based teams. It doesn’t work like that at Premier League level because teams in the Premier League have got used to playing against the likes of Manchester City over the years so they know how to sit tight defensively and make it difficult for a team like City to score. Yes, they aren’t always successful because City have brilliant players but guess what? We do not and our style of football, with the players we have, is remarkably easy to defend against, even for teams like Wolves who have been shipping an average of three goals a game.

Wee Man the Last Time He Took a Player On

Russell Martin seems to acknowledge a lot of the issues but then does he really?  He says we lack physicality, but he won’t pick Big Les or Tall Paul.  I know they’re not very good but don’t complain about a lack of something in your team if you have the option to pick someone who provides it.  Yes we'd lose something from the possession if we played these two but it's about balance isn't it? He says we lack players who can take people on, yet he leaves out Dibling for a 19^th vs 20^th game and then says that we miss Wee Man in this regard.  Wee Man hardly ever takes on a player, let alone beats them and get a cross over.

The VAR calls will take a lot of the headlines today and that's all the national media will be talking about, but even if you take them away, we still did fuck all. Yes, goals change games and if our equaliser had been allowed, then it may have been a different outcome.  If Wolves second had been disallowed as it surely should have been, we still would have lost 1-0.  I was appealing for a penalty for a foul on Fernandes before Manning lashed into the net and if Manning hadn’t scored, it probably would’ve been reviewed to see if it was a penalty or not. As it is, Manning scores and somehow, VAR thinks the referee has made a clear and obvious error and then the referee has gone to the monitor and decided that he did make a clear and obvious error, which is absolute bullshit because that challenge could’ve been given either way.  Semedo doesn’t try and play the ball and makes contact with Fernandes, so that’s a penalty but then you could argue that Fernandes runs into Semedo, so that’s a foul the other way.  If you can argue both those points of view then it’s not a clear and obvious error and therefore, they were looking for a reason to disallow it rather than referee it objectively.  This was compounded of course by the Wolves second goal which had two fouls in it, both clearer than the alleged foul by Fernandes.

We now have another international break and Saints go into it bottom of the league with just four points from 11 games. Do Sport Republic have the finances and the will to make a change? Are they at the point where they think this is never going to improve enough to even give us a chance of staying up? Do they give Russell Martin the transfer window and the funds to bring in some decent forward players and give us a more physical presence? Would he even pick them if we had them or would he still obsess over possession and ‘nice’ footballers?  At the moment (and this changes all the time) I feel that they either have to make the change now to give us the best chance of getting a decent replacement, or we have to stay with it until the end of the season but at the moment, that looks odds to end with being relegated horribly and finishing with about 15 points.

Up the fucking depressing Saints.

Premier League Match 10 - Southampton 1 Everton 0

 

Not Today

Russell Martin doesn’t seem to think so but I don’t think you’ll find many supporters who don’t believe this game isn’t a shit or bust type of scenario. It could be quite a defining day today because all of the bottom six are playing each other. For us, today is surely the day where we have our best chance to get off the mark regarding the win column in the table.

There hasn’t been much fallout from the Stoke game, just an acknowledgement amongst most of the fan base that we didn’t play particularly well and even though it was six different players to usual and many substitutes who don’t play often, it did bring an element of gloom because of our lack of threat in attack. Hopefully, today will be like the first half against Leicester and we make the Everton defence work a bit.

Everton will be a tough nut to crack. They started the season appallingly and then won their first game against Crystal Palace, backed up with a win against Ipswich and are undefeated in five games. The Sean Dyche lead outfit was always going to do this. If you look at their team, it is full of hardened Premier League players who might not be good enough to get the club anywhere near the top half of the table but they will be good enough to keep her away from the bottom. The likes of Jordan Pickford, James Tarkowski, Michael Keane, Jack Harrison, Abdoulaye Doucoure, Idrissa Gana Gaye, Dwight McNeil and Dominic Calvert-Lewin are all decent enough to ensure the Everton start next season in their new ground in the Premier League.

Historically, Everton have never been out of the top flight of English football but in the last few seasons, have sailed pretty close to the wind.  Last season they got deducted points for PSR breaches and still managed to stay up.  I like the way that the responded to losing ten points by winning the next three games, staying out of the relegation zone and sticking a proverbial two fingers up at the league.  They weren’t particularly hard done by as the club had been badly run for years but they so seem to have been judged more harshly than others, who continue to get away with it.

On my walk to the ground, I’m earwigging other supporters and I hear a lot of ‘shit or bust’, ‘have to win’ and the more prosaic ‘lose this and we’re royally fucked’.  Team news and weird – five at the back at home.  I guess we’re looking to be solid with both Stephens and Manning starting.  Tyler Dibling is on the bench and Adam Armstrong starting instead of him.  Adam Lallana again keeps Joe Aribo on the bench.  Everton for their part have left out Jack Harrison but it's more or less what I expect.  Abdoulaye Doucoure isn’t playing, which is probably the only they only way that he wouldn’t be scoring against us today.  Is he forgiven for the Watford handball goal yet?  No.

The game starts and nothing happens, followed by more nothing, followed by Everton players taking it in turns to go down for no reason at all.  It all follows the same pattern in that there is a challenge, the Everton player stays down, the referee Andy Madley, brother of Bobby the Dog Botherer, stops the game, the physio is about to come on and in the Everton player springs back to his feet. Strange to be time-wasting in the first half against a team that hasn’t won in ten games.

"It's OK Ref Because You Should have Given Us That Foul Over There" (Getty Images)

There is another strange incident on 20 minutes when the ball gets played up to Calvert-Lewin and under challenge from THB, he falls on the ball and grabs it. Referee Andy Madley gives a free-kick to Saints for handball which clearly boils the piss of some of the Everton players, particularly James Tarkowski who then steams straight through Cameron Archer on the halfway line with the ball in the SO15 postcode, not the SO14 postcode where St Mary‘s actually is.  Horrible challenge and it’s just a yellow card we’re off to Stockley Park.

“Hi Andy”
“Come on chaps, quick review needed”
“Well, it satisfies every criteria for a red …”
“Too slow… just a yellow then”

Away we go again and neither team has got any quality going forward. From a Saints perspective, whenever we get the ball in the wide areas through Adam Armstrong or Ryan Manning, the ball into the box at best could be classed as a hit and hope. Poor, very poor.  On about 40 minutes we being to play with some intent.  KWP looks forward and picks out Downes running behind the Everton midfield.  He passes the ball through and Archer has a lot to do from about forty yards out but he backs him self against Keane gets to the edge of the box and fires across Pickford but wide of the far post.

Downes again drives through for midfield and finds Adam Armstrong and it looks like he actually picks someone out this time but Pickford gets something on the cross of takes it away from Manning who can only fall in a comedy heap on the ground.  Manning’s involved again a few seconds later as Fernandes puts him away down the left and he puts over a decent ball first time which is knocked behind by Mykolenko. Over comes the corner and our goal magnet THB, rises at the back post but can only nod it wide.

Half-time and that in the main has been a painful after football between two teams with no attacking quality. It becomes apparent that Lallana has managed as much as he can and so on comes Joe Aribo. As the game restarts, Everton seem to have come out with bits of gravel in their collective ear, from a Sean Dyche half time grilling.

Mykolenko swings across into the box which goes over everybody and find Ashley Young on the far side.  He passes across the top of the penalty are where Mangala decides to stop throwing himself to the ground for a second and smashes in a shot through a crowd of bodies and Ramsdale sees it late but reacts brilliantly to knock it over the bar.

It’s turning into a better game now, with KWP playing a lovely forward pass to meet the run of Archer who was unceremoniously from to the ground by Michael Keane. Manning’s free kick is either low deliberately or not very good, and it bounces out of the magnet THB but blocked away for a corer which we do nothing with.

An hour gone and with Saints still desperately needing quality at the top end of the pitch, Ryan Manning is replaced with Tyler Dibling.  Stephens is now a conventional left back and Dibling immediately gets involved and the Everton defence starts stitting itself as he runs at them and plays a nice ball down the side to KWP and his cross fizzes to Armstrong at the back post but he can only volley over the bar.

The feeling that this is going to go the way of whichever team wants it and Everton come alive again with Lindstram putting in a cross from the left and Michael Keane is somehow completely free at the back post and has a point blank header…. nooooo…. brilliantly saved down low by the post by Ramsdale and it bobbles around and somehow Rambo shovels it wide.

Dibling is making a real difference on the right and combines again with KWP with a full back again picking out Armstrong at the back post and this time he seems caught in tow minds between lashing it wide and heading it wide and he eventually chooses the latter option.  To be fair, the cross had some serious pace on it.

Everton have sent on Beto in place of Calvert-Lewin who has been completely anonymous.  No strength in the challenges and I don’t remember him winning a header all game.  Beto is a different beast however and after a Saints attack comes to nothing, Everton clear it out to Beto on the left who is in a foot race with Bednarek.  Beto is obviously going to win and Bednarek brings him down and it’s a clear yellow card. THB looks like he’s on the cover and we’re off to VAR.

“Hi Andy – potential denial of a goalscoring opportunity there”
“Really – I thought the defender was on the cover”
“Not sure – we’ll try and make your decision correct for you – light touch and all that”
“Good lads”
[pause]
“Ok, we’ve got a decision.  The cover is half a pitch away and isn’t getting there”
“Oh…”
“…. But it’s Beto …. and he’s shite so technically…”
“Shite?”
“Yes, Shite… so it isn’t a goalscoring opportunity… because he’s shite and would have missed”
“Love it lads – so I was right?”
“Yes… and you’ve got to get out of the ground without Dyche getting hold of you”

So, panic over and now just a free kick to deal with.  Lindstram puts it in and Ramsdale pushes it wide easily enough.

Jack Stephens has been having a bit of a nightmare in the second half, continually giving the ball away and is replaced with Sugawara with KWP moving to the other side. Sugawara immediately gets caught out of position and McNeil puts in a lovely cross which Harrison gets to before Ramsdale… and it drops just wide as St Mary’s breathes a collective “oh fuck”.

I Beto You Can't miss From There

More problems down our right as Dibling gives the ball away and picks up another yellow for pulling back a player. In it come is the cost of the back post with Michael Keane has got free and he cushion volleys a cross onto the head of Beto, who is five yards out and he manages to hit the bar.  Thank fuck for that… Fernandes runs the ball out of the danger area down our left and swaps passes with Aribo before switching it right via THB to Sugawara who takes a second and pulls back a perfect ball along the top of the penalty area to meet the run of Adam Armstrong who smashes it first time down the middle of the goal past Pickford.  You fucking beauty and 1-0… 85 minutes gone.

Just 5 Minutes to Hold out Lads

Now it’s just a case of concentrating and we of course don’t do that as Young plays a 60 ball over the top of the defence and Beto takes a brilliant touch before slotting into the net. For fuck‘s sake…  it looked miles offside but the flag hasn’t gone up and we’re off to VAR again.

“Andy… we speak again”
“Check offside on the goal please lads.  That shite Beto has just scored”
“Agh – this is going to take ages”
“Why?”
“Because VAR was designed to focus on the end where the goal was scored”
“Of course – why’s that an issue?”
“Because it’s fucking Dyche-ball smashing the ball from one end to the other.  We have to print off two screens, stick them together with tape, get the fucking protractor a ruler out, blue line, red line and all that.”
[Time goes by]
“Andy, we have a decision – offside”
“I’ll tell Janny B and he can tell the crowd”

Bednarek is giving it the big one before the official scoreboard announcement.  Get in… or out… or whatever.

By the time we get going again it’s 93 minutes and there are at least six to go. Big Les and Tall Paul are on for Fernandes and Archer, so our team has just got approximately two foot taller.  Madley gives us the shits one more time by giving a free kit for nothing against Tall Paul and then booking him for good measure.  In it comes with Pickford, cleared away as far as Adam Armstrong and finally the whistle goes and that’s it.

Get in. Relief.

Finally, we’ve won a fucking league game.  To be honest, as I said before, it really doesn’t matter how we got over the line but the fact of the matter is that we did and that really is all that counts.

The first 40 minutes was pretty dreadful from both sides with absolutely zero attacking quality on display.  Every time Saints got into an area where they could deliver a pass in towards the strikers it was aimlessly smashed across the box, usually picking out an Everton defender with Adam Armstrong and Ryan Manning being the worst culprits. Everton did nothing except slowing the game down, mainly through feigning injury.  The second half was better as a game and we were grateful to Aaron Ramsdale keeping us in it with two or three excellent saves. Our quality in the attacking third only improved with the introduction of Tyler Dibling and Yuki Sugawara for Manning and Stevens and it was Sugawara who got his head up and picked out Adam Armstrong’s excellent run in from the left wing, goal, 1-0, nice finish.  Even though there was 85 on the clock at that point, we still managed to completely doze off and we got incredibly lucky that Beto’s effort was ruled out after a VAR check that seemed to take about three days.

As far as Russell Martin is concerned, I thought the tactics at the start of the game and the team selection were a bit questionable but the end result justified the means because we got to the hour mark at 0-0 and the subs came on and changed us as an attacking force.  Having got it all wrong against Leicester, today he got the substitutions right, particularly with Sugawara and Dibling but also at the end, throwing on the physically imposing Big Les and Tall Paul to combat the inevitable Everton aerial bombardment. Joe Aribo had come on for Lallana at half time and against City last week, he didn’t look like he was at the pace of the game at all, but today he was right on it from the moment he stepped on the pitch.

Feigning Injury - Utter Woke Nonsense

Sean Dyche is a manager who is the epitome of everything old school football where everyone was a tough bastard. As everyone knows, he sounds like he gargles broken glass for breakfast wash down with a pint of gravy.  He’s a tough boy and his ‘Utter Woke Nonsense’ meme is legendary, so he should be absolutely embarrassed by the way his Everton players collapse for absolutely no reason.  It’s obviously pre-planned as well because they stay down just until the physio is about to come on and then spring to their feet again. Why referees don’t book them for that, I have no idea. Dyche had a good old moan about the fact the Bednarek wasn’t sent off but he didn’t mention the ridiculous tackle by Tarkowski on Archer which is a red card offence by any definition. Out of control, excessive force, nowhere near the ball, ticks every box but I’m not sure it was even viewed.  As for the Bednarek decision in isolation, I feel that we got a little bit fortunate and on another day that would have been a red.  At the time I thought THB was clearly covering but when you see a replay of it, he was miles away.

So, we had the bit of luck today that you need to get over the line.  You can say that ‘offside is offside’ and that’s not luck… but it was bloody close.  I still think VAR should be binned and I loved not having it in the Championship, but we have to be grateful for it today, even though it did take an age to arrive at the decision that ultimately won us the game.

We wouldn’t have even been in the position to win the game if it wasn’t for Aaron Ramsdale, who was brilliant today.  The save from Michael Keane’s header alone was enough to make him man of the match.  It’s massive for him to get a clean sheet as well and this is what we brought him in for, to keep us in games and give us the chance of picking up points.  We of course, spent big money on him by our standards and it’s a compelling evidence to back up the ‘you get what you pay for’ angle on transfer dealings.  Not always the case of course but maybe signing one good player instead of three average ones is the way to go in future.

I am pleased for Russell Martin, pleased for the players and pleased for all the supporters including myself. Every win for a team like us can only be achieved by being dogged, by keeping your head up and by having a bit of luck. Today we earned the luck, mainly Everton hitting the bar which led directly to us breaking up the other end of the pitch and scoring. This could very easily have been another demoralising defeat but we got over the line and won the game and we can all look upwards and going to the game next week against Wolves with a bit of confidence.

With the other two games involving the bottom six ended in draws, we were the major winners this Saturday and closed up a bit on the teams above us. A win next week and maybe we can start believing.

Up the fucking Saints.