Fuck Defending, Let's Attack!
Watford
are one of those teams who you look at and immediately think that you should
win. They really aren’t that good but
like a few others, they seem to keep their head above water. They’re not a team that grabs the attention
of the neutral observer. Last season it
was Deeney and Ighalo banging in the goals but Ighalo turned out to be a one
season wonder and they packed him off to China (I think). Deeney meanwhile has had another solid season
and is a decent player and seemingly the only constant with Watford from one
season to the next. He’s certainly the
main threat today being the physical striker playing against our non-physical
centre backs. Elsewhere they have the goalkeeper
Heurelho Gomes who is absolutely allergic to catching the ball as he looks to
punch absolutely anything. They also
have Sebastian Prodl at centre back who is a big lump and more notable for
looking like an 80s Porn Star who has just turned up to fix the washing
machine. Oh, and he’s crap. The manager now is Walter Mazzari who looks
like an extra from a de Niro / Pacino / Sporanos type production. He came in at the start of the season,
replacing the popular Quique Sanchez Flores who had done a decent job.
Saints
have collected a lot of plaudits since losing the Cup Final last week – there
have been more calls for video technology at games but it’s no consolation
really. We can only hope the players
will have got it out of their system and put on a decent show today. In order to win today we’re going to have to
go for it as I can’t see us keeping a clean sheet. We lined up unchanged with Claude having
indicated that Martin Caceres would play for the Under 23s on Monday. So, for today we have another chance for the
Maya and Jack show. Following on from
Wembley, today would be an important indicator to how the rest of the season
was going to go so let’s see.
In
addition to Troy Deeney, Watford appear to be a uniformly massive team so I
can’t imagine they’re going to be doing anything much other than going long and
trying to pick up second balls etc. It’s
a fairly even start and then Watford win a throw in out on the right. Up lumbers huge ex-Skate donkey (who they
could never afford) Younes Kaboul and a long throw is obviously incoming. In it comes, Deeney wins it against Yoshida
and knocks it on, it ping about and is deflected back to Deeney who has lost
the ball-watching Yoshida and he expertly guides it into the far corner with a
left footed cushioned volley. Arse. Not a great start. It’s another rolling of the eyes moment when
replays show that his foot was miles over the line when he took the throw. Fucking Skates, always cheating.
So,
we’re 1-0 down and they’re not very good and earlier in the season we’d have
had no shots and lost 1-0 but we’re a bit of a different proposition now as we
carved them open with Tadic playing in JWP who hits it near post and Gomes
pushes it wide. The next attack is all
Gabbiadini with a one touch lay off and a sprint to get onto Redmond’s return
pass, all the time pointing where he wants the ball. He gets the shot on target too but Gomes
blocks. Redmond is on fire as well, picking
up the ball on the left and firing just wide from distance. It’s coming but when…?
It
looks like a matter of time before we get back into it as we build up well and
Cedric passes it into Redmond who flicks a ball to Tadic, goes for the return
but runs into traffic. Watford poke it
clear to the edge of the box and Tadic drills it first time across Gomes and
into the far corner. Get in. If we’d had the prick of a hair-trigger
linesman from last week or if we’d been playing against United, then this would
have been disallowed as Redmond was farthest forward but not interfering with
the play.
With
half time approaching I’m quite happy to go in at 1-1 and batter them in the 2nd
half but it gets better from another lightning attack. Redmond into JWP, onto Tadic and he gets his
head up and plays it back to Redmond whose first time shot is across Gomes and
nestling in the far corner. Get the fuck
in! this is a great team goal from start to finish with a huge contribution
from Gabbiadini who doesn’t actually touch the ball. His movement is so good and his runs so
unselfish that the defenders are so occupied with him it opens up
everything. He was even there in case
Redmond’s shot came back off the post.
Half time and a good turnaround following the piss poor start. There is no doubt though that we’ll have to
score again to win this as we’ll certainly be coughing up another goal at some
point.
The
first action of the 2nd half is Gabbiadini skinning Britos down the
left cuts in and then tries to find Tadic but they clear it. He has a weakness – he didn’t want to shoot
with his right foot. Another chance on
the break as JWP carries it forward and it’s 3 on 2 with Tadic left and Redders
right. One overhit pass later and it all
goes to shit but we win a corner which is headed out as far as Tadic who
smashes it from 30 yards and Gomes flies across the goal and tips it over. The next corner is cleared and Holebas
decides to complete the job with a combination of a clothesline and a wrestling
throw on JWP. Tadic’ free kick is well
met by Yoshida but Gomes once more gets across smartly to prevent us maybe
putting the game to bed.
You
know we have a defensive fuck up in us so it’s no surprise that it happens but
it’s Romeu who gives it away, sending the always shit Tom Cleverley
through. He finds Okaka but Fraser is in
Wall mode and blocks with his foot. On 70
minutes, Watford throw on the amusingly named Isaac Success and he immediately
runs into the massive 5 foot 7, 8 stone unit that is Cedric and collapses like
he’s been shot. Less Isaac Success, more
Isaac Hunt. Claude has a sub of his own
to make and it’s Boufal for JWP which is really going for it as we’re still 2-1
up.
Redmond
makes his one mistake for the day and gives it away, Watford build up for a
change instead of banging it and fuck.
Okaka knocks it out to Issac Hunt who goes down the wing and crosses it
in and no one has tracked back with Okaka who brushes aside a half-arsed
challenge from Stephens and crashes it into the net. How the fuck are we not beating this shit?
Fair
play to us, we don’t change mentality and we just go for it but first, we have
a go at going behind as Davis dawdles in midfield and Okaka is away but we’re
bailed out by a good Stephens tackle. He
finds, Davis and a good cross-field ball to Redmond. Redmond finds Boufal in space infield and he
lines one up and hits it – not terribly well it has to be said but Gomes’ affliction
to catching the ball kills him and it bounces off his chest and there’s only
one man who is going to be in the right place to knock it in – Gabbiadini with
his 6th goal in 4 games, knee-slide and Les Read’s smile gets a little
broader and off goes the goalscorer to be replaced with Shane Long. Your job is done young man.
It’s
still us doing all the attacking with Redders picking it up on left after some
ridiculous skill from Boufal and running at the fat pornstar who lets him get
to the edge of the box and invites him to hit it and Nathan says thanks very
much, hits it and leaves Gomes clawing at fresh air as it rips past him and
high into the centre of the goal. 4-2
and game over….
Fuck
defending, let’s just attack and Boufal gets to line up Kaboul and there’s only
one winner there as he’s megged the Skate but loses composure and lashes wide
of the near post when a roll across the box would have given Davis a tap in
which he probably would have missed.
94
minutes and do we have time for some more defensive shithouse? Of course we do, allowing a cross to come in
from our left, neither centre back covering themselves with glory and it
arrives at the back stick where one Watford player finds himself in between
Clasie, Long and Cedric and needless to say, Dacoure manages to bundle it into
the net. Luckily the whistle goes for
full time before we have the chance to complete the mother of all fuck ups.
To
those only viewing the highlights, reading the report on the internet or Garth
Crooks picking his team of the week with no knowledge of the game whatsoever,
this will look like a tight game and a narrow win but it really was anything
but. Don’t listen to the Watford manager
who thought they deserved a point as he’s talking out of his arse. We were the better side by miles in midfield
and attack. The defences were both
pretty ropey to be fair with our issues being well documented and theirs being
Kaboul who is an absolute donkey and Pornstar Prodl who is a Sunday League
player. What’s with Holebas on the left
as well, some nice touches but he’s seriously got a screw loose.
The
4-2-3-1 formation and the way that the players are responding to it is
certainly getting the best out of us going forward. The combinations of Bertrand and Redmond on
the left and Cedric and JWP on the right are clicking and we all know how good
tadic can be when he’s on it. Today he
was and he made the whole thing tick with two assists and a goal. Redmond is further up the pitch than he was a
month ago and finding more space and being more direct and also having more
players in his vicinity. He’s got a lot
of confidence right now and his one touch play has improved and today he was
all one touch, spins and darting runs and a real handful. Both he and Ryan Bertrand should be certs for
the next England squad but they probably won’t be.
There
are issues with a few players in this formation – Steve Davis is deeper than he
was previously and in both the cup final and today, he has let his player run
past him and the ball has ended up in our net.
He lost Rojo at Wembley for Lingard’s goal and Okaka today. Maya and Jack were as they always are – they
look ok without looking dominant but there’s always a feeling with every goal
conceded that they should have done better.
The ‘goals against’ rate has gone through the roof since Jamie Vardy was
a wanker at St.Mary’s. Every time we
have played against a team with a big physical centre forward it’s been
horrible…. Swansea 2, Watford 3, United
3, West Ham 3. 11 from 4 games. Clean
sheets against Liverpool and Sunderland playing against Sturridge who is
whatever the complete opposite of physical is and Jermain Defoe. Martin Caceres is going to play for the
Under-23s on Monday and if he gets through that he simply has to play in the
next game – Tottenham away with Harry Kane, currently scoring two at least in
every game he plays.
I
haven’t mentioned Manolo Gabbiadini because I’m leaving the best til last. He has single handedly transformed the
attacking aspect of the team. Six goals
in his first four games says a lot but it’s only part of the story. He’s strong, he holds it up, he knocks it
off, he spins defenders, he has enough pace, his first three yards is in his
head, his movement is different class, he’s always ‘just’ onside and defenders
don’t have a fucking clue how to play against him. Because he’s such a handful it of course
gives more space to everyone else and we’ll see more goals from the likes of
Tadic, Redmond, Boufal and even JWP.
It’s amazing what a difference one player can make. He has got so much more to his game than the
other strikers we have been using this season.
That’s not saying they don’t have some of the attributes that Gabbiadini
has, but they are easier to play against because they don’t have as many of the
attributes. He makes the difference
between dominating against poorish sides and losing (which we have done so many
times this season) and getting the results – today would have been another of
those games. He will also win us points
in games where we maybe don’t play that well.
He of course won’t play this well forever and will have dips etc but
this team with Virgil and Caceres (maybe) at centre back and Gabbiadini in this
form would be quite something.
As
stated, the next game is Spurs away as we’re out of the FA Cup, meaning that
our home games against Man United and Arsenal still have to be scheduled,
probably to a time that suits them best.
After the Europa League fixture pile up and the 3 games in 5 days at
Xmas, it’s been a strange old season in that regard. Where can we finish this season? –
realistically the best we can hope for is 8th as we’re 11 points
behind Everton who are 7th. 7th
is a Europa League spot this season and it would be absolutely beautiful if we
could somehow overhaul them so Koeman is regarded as a failure. Unlikely but you never know.
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