FA Cup 4th Round - Southampton 0 Arsenal 5

Read the Fucking Sign

There seems to be three teams that we always get drawn against – Sunderland, Crystal Palace and Arsenal.  You feel confident of beating the others but Arsenal are a problem because quite frankly, they are a class above the other two.  We’ve already knocked them out of the EFL Cup of course so I’m sure Monsieur Wenger won’t be wanting a repeat – after all, they aren’t going to win the League or the Champions League so this is it as far as silverware is concerned. 

Arsenal always have a melt down during the season and Arsene has been at it recently – despite having a season where virtually every controversial refereeing decision has gone in their favour.  He got what he thought was a bad one (it wasn’t) last week against Burnley so he lost his rag, got sent to the stands and basically refused to go, giving the 4^th official a shove as he argued.  Now, he hardly flattened him and I doubt the 4^th official even noticed but if you did that on a park pitch and it was seen and reported, you’d get a six month ban at the very least.  So, what did the FA, the guardians of the game and the Respect campaign and all that do about it.  A four game touchline ban… wow, that’s gonna hurt.  So, he can still pick the team, watch the match from the stands, decided on the substitutions and relay every decision to the bench.  Fucking joke and I suspect he knows it.  Will it stop him kicking off about referees in the future – no it won’t but the FA will think that they’ve kept him onside in case he decides he wants to leave Arsenal one day and become the England manager.

I said at the end of the Liverpool game that today was going to be a bit of a free hit.  I expected a half and half side of youth and experience and a narrow defeat.  Little did I know that my ‘free hit’ assertions was going to be tested and it got tested as soon as I heard the team news.

So I am walking to the ground down Britannia Road and I managed to see the team sheet on my phone. Lewis, Martina, McQueen… this is really already not looking like a very strong team. Jack Stephens, Gardos ... well, we really are forcing everybody who can stand up into action today…. Reed, Hojbjerg, Clasie… two midgets out of three... hmmmm.... Sims, Long, Isgrove…. Isgrove? For fuck's sake. Can we go home?   That’s got to be the most lightweight, impotent Saints XI I’ve ever seen…. What’s the Arsenal team? A quick look reveals lots of changes from their regular league side but Ospina…. International keeper…. Gibbs, Walcott, Welbeck, Oxlade-Chamberlain…. Ok that’s four England internationals…. Mustafi, Bellerin… two first teamers…. Holding, Reine-Adelaide, Maitland-Niles…. Three physically imposing youngsters and Perez… who they signed for the same money as we paid for Boufal.  We’re going to get completely fucked aren’t we?

Possibly because the prices were cheap but probably because this game has been included as a game towards your chances of getting an EFL Cup Final ticket if you’re a member, the place is packed and away we go with us looking nervous and disjointed as you like and as you’d expect.

Of course, I write these bogs after the match and so, in keeping with the attitude of the club towards this fixture, I can’t really be arsed.  It will be long enough if I just stick to describing the Arsenal goals so I’ll do that.

15 minutes and it’s 1-0 to Arsenal as Martina demonstrates just how shit he is, allowing Welbeck to simply run past him on the outside and pick up a pass from Perez.  I don’t think Martina has even seen Welbeck so he would have been surprised when he turned round to see that Welbeck had superbly lifted it over Lewis and in off the bar in the far top corner.

2-0 when Oxlade-Chamberlain chipped a ball diagonally and over Stephens who has lost Welbeck and he brings it down superbly before poking it under Lewis who has come out with no conviction at all and not even spread himself to try and block it.  It’s like a 12 year old who has been press-ganged to go in goal on a cold day with no gloves.  Turn your back on it and hope it doesn’t hit you.  Well it didn’t and we’re 2-0 down and this game is over.  We have a decent effort not long after as Martina plays a decent long ball down the right and Shane runs onto it and hits it near post but Opsina is in the right place to make an easy save look difficult.

3-0 and this is a candidate for the worst goal I’ve ever seen us concede.  Jack Stephens is on the ball to the right of centre in our penalty area and he hasn’t got a short option so he goes to cream it up the pitch but instead of that, he welts it straight at Hojbjerg who turns round just quickly enough to get the ball full force in the stomach.  It bounces Arsenal’s way but the ball across is poor and McQueen should clear it but he just stands there and Walcott manages to poke a toe at it and knock it into the net from behind McQueen.  It’s humiliatingly bad.

Half time and all around are conversations about when people are going to leave.  The common concensus is 4-0 or 75 minutes if it’s still 3-0.  It occurs to me that Wenger might take pity on his old mate Claude and just pass it around in the second half and this appears to be happening for the first 15 of the half and then he brings on Alexis Sanchez – fucking hell!  We’ve still got Isgrove on the pitch for fucks sake and they’ve got one of the top 5 players in the world.

4-0 as Stephens plays a lousy ball out of defence and we get picked off with Sanchez getting to the line and pulling it back for Walcott to roll easily into the net.  Fire Drill.

On 78 minutes there’s a bit of a break and for only the second time in about 42 years of watching Saints – fuck this I’m off.  I know I’ve had a go at others before but that’s mainly aimed at people leaving with the game in the balance.  This is not and we are never going to score in a million years.  I was half way down Brittania Road when I heard the cheer which sure and shit wasn’t from our end and Walcott had completed his hat-trick.  Probably the easiest one he’ll ever score.   Again we’ve given the ball away up front and one long ball has taken out the whole team.

Well that couldn't have been more shite if it tried. An absolute waste of time from the time of the team sheets were handed in until the final whistle. The one thing that I'm clinging to was that this was more or less our third choice team and guess what, Arsenal’s squad is better than ours which shouldn't come as a surprise to anybody. When you look at the defence today, you see what I mean about third choice. At right back, Cuco the Clown is third choice behind Cedric and Jeremy Pied, at left back Sam McQueen is certainly behind Bertrand in the pecking order and will possibly be behind Matt Targett when he's fit again. At the start of the season, Gardos and Stephens were our fourth and fifth choice centre backs. Behind them you have Harry Lewis who is probably actually our fourth choice goalkeeper behind Fraser, Alex McCarthy and if it came down to it in a league game, he's probably behind professional substitute Stuart Taylor as well. After his brilliant performance against Liverpool it was noticeable that Jack Stephens had a complete shocker which is of course due to the lack of protection around him, more on that later. We all knew that Martina would be shit and we all knew that Florin Gardos would be rusty, which you tend to be after nearly 2 years of not playing.  I actually thought that the Romanian acquitted himself quite well.

The strongest part of the selection today should have been the midfield. Hojbjerg and Clasie regularly start games though they are probably behind JWP and Davis in the pecking order. Only Hojbjerg today looked remotely capable of doing anything positive and at least looked like he was trying to make things happen. The twin midgets of Clasie and Reed were completely fucking hopeless and you would not have noticed if they weren't there and frequently, when Arsenal broke, they weren’t there. Reed in particular was diabolical. We've just given him a new four year contract and in a couple of games earlier in the season he looked quite good but both today and in the Norwich game a week or so back, he has been appalling. This applies to Clasie as well but if you are a very small player then you have to have something else, some other attribute to make up for it. You are the have to be incredibly aggressive and really strong in the tackle or you have to have loads of pace or you have to have loads of skill. Reed has a reputation as a tackler but all I saw today was him bouncing off of tackles and being knocked backwards by the much bigger Arsenal youngsters like Reine-Adelaide and Maitland-Niles. 

Talking of midgets, we had Lloyd Isgrove playing. Isgrove is 24 and is League 1 standard at best. Why the fucking hell we still have him in the squad is completely beyond me as he has absolutely nothing in his game whatsoever.  I’ve seen players who put themselves about more in the Tyro League Under 13’s.  We in effect played with 10 and when you add the abysmal performances of Clasie and Reed into the mix then it's no fucking wonder we got hammered. Josh Sims looked a little bit like a little boy lost today as well, though he did at least get on the ball occasionally and had a couple of moments. Captain Shane Long really had a thankless task given all the shite that was around him. Even so, he was pretty poor.

So, we put out an abysmal team that would've lost to absolutely anybody from non-league to Premier League with four midgets in the front six. I paid 15 quid for my ticket to watch that that utter shit and that money would have been better spent on 4 pints of lager or on a CD or on quite frankly anything. I understand completely why Claude did it with a league game on Wednesday and having had the Liverpool game the previous Wednesday but he must've known that that team was going to get slaughtered whatever line-up Arsenal put out. If they had wanted to beat us 10-0 then they could've done quite easily.

Things I've learnt today that I didn't already know are that individually some of the young players like Sims, McQueen and Stevens look quite promising when they are within the framework of a strong Saints line-up but stick them all in the team at the same time and they are not good enough to carry it. Harrison Reed needs to go out online at the championship for a season because on his last two performances, he is never going to make it as a Premier League player. I would not give a shite if Jordy Clasie was sold in the summer. He has one game in about six where he is not bad but the other five games he may as well not be on the pitch.  I swear he can go half an hour without touching the ball.  Okay, Martina is dog shit and when it actually matters which is at either end of the pitch, he hasn't got a fucking clue.  He never crosses the ball when he should and when he does it hits the first man.  Defensively he has no awareness of danger or what he should do.  I've included that one in the list of things I've learnt even though I definitely knew all that already.


That should be it for the weakened sides and the rotation for the season.  We can but hope.  I can understand why Claude did it but for me, it went too far which is why we got humiliated and no one left the ground feeling like they got value for money, no matter how little they paid for the ticket.

Two Premier League matches are coming in the next few days with Swansea away and West Ham at home.  Quite frankly I fear for us against West Ham with Andy Carroll playing well and in addition to Maya always having a nightmare against him, Jack Stephens it not the most physical either.  Also, it will of course be the return of Jo$é Fonte which is a script waiting to be written.  So – in my opinion we need to beat Swansea on Wednesday.  Before that though we have the closing of the transfer window on Tuesday night and we simply have to get in a striker and a centre back.  Manolo Gabbiadini appears to be the man for up front and the defender looks like it will either be Mamadou Sakho (assuming the bin dippers lower their ridiculous valuation in order to get rid of him) or a German international on loan named Serdar Tasci who is with Spartak Moscow.  Sort it out Les….

League Cup Semi-Final 2nd Leg - Liverpool 0 Southampton 1 (Aggregate 0-2)

After You Claude

Here we go then.  Anfield and Liverpool, Klopp, Lallana, Lovren, Clyne and the media fawning over their every move.  We are of course 1-0 up from the first leg and I’m nervous.  It’s horrible.  I am not expecting us to get through but just maybe it’ll happen, maybe Virgil will be fit and maybe, maybe, maybe…

‘Van Dijk out for 3 months’ scream the tabloids in the morning – wankers.  How the fuck can they know – it’s just an unsettling tactic from the Scouse-heavy media departments, I hope.  Maybe Murdoch is trying to get into the good books of people on Merseyside to actually sell a paper there.  It’s not going to work mate.  It’s the same sort of tactic as used by Steven Gerrard when he was gobbing off about Liverpool signing Virgil.  What a coincidence – just before we play them – just fuck off.  As we were reminded by their media department before the 1^st Leg, they have 4 of our players already.  I wonder if they’ll be pulling that rabbit out of the hat again as it worked so well in the first leg.

Ah, the first leg.  We of course 1-0 and it should have been more and the wisdom spouted forth is that we would live to regret that.  It’s hard to disagree.  I watched a few previews and a few experts.  Those in the ‘Southampton to win’ corner – numbered precisely zero.  In the ‘Liverpool to win’ corner – Carragher, Murphy, Hasselbaink, Schwarzer, Lawrenson etc etc.  Fuck ‘em – we’ve got a chance.  If we can score then I fancy us – their defence is crap….ish.  On the plus side (for us) they have a kid at right back, they have Lovren and they have Milner, who is shit and always will be. 

Liverpool have managed though to get FIFA to come down on their side and declare that Joel Matip can play for them despite being selected for the Cameroon AFCON squad.  The rule for everybody else is that if a player has been called up for an AFCON squad then he can’t play for his club until the country is out of the tournament.  For example – if Sofiane Boufal miraculously recovered from his injury in the next 5 minutes, he couldn’t play for Saints tonight as Morocco are still in the AFCON.  Matip is arguing that he’s ‘retired’ from international football, despite only being 25 but his FA ignored him and selected him.  What utter shit?  A player could therefore ‘retire’ from international football every two years to dodge the AFCON.  Bloody typical and he’s back tonight.

In the build up to the game, Saints announced that both Josh Sims and Oriol Romeu had signed new contracts with the club which is great news of course, especially with Oriol as he is becoming a player that the big boys might be looking at.  However, Coutinho has signed a new deal with Liverpool so that’ll be all we’re hearing about tonight.  It’s gonna inspire them etc etc.  Didn’t Luis Suarez sign a new 5 year contract just before he left and we all know that Nivea Twat Adam Lallana likes that sort of behaviour.

To the teams and Liverpool supplement their dodgy defence with Henderson and Emre Cannot in midfield, with Coutinho, Lallana and Firmino creating for Sturridge up front.  Sturridge – great goalscorer, lazy selfish fucker, wanker dance.  The news we were all dreading but somehow expecting was that Virgil was out and in came Jack Stephens for his second first team game at centre back.  Steve Davis returned to take Hojbjerg’s place in midfield and the rest of the team was as we had against Leicester.  Worryingly, our bench contained no centre half with Martina preferred to Gardos.  Gulp!

Away we go an it’s all Liverpool possession and calmly knocking it about.  We’re quite happy to let the defenders have it and we don’t close them down until it either goes into midfield or out to Milner.  He manages to give us the ball three times in the opening couple of minutes.  Jack Stephens looks calm in defence for us, winning a couple of headers and generally dealing with anything that comes his way.  However, he then attempts to roll a ball back to Fraser and passes it straight out for a corner which thankfully, we clear.

The first shot comes from the Scousers as Bertrand make a rare mistake and gets dispossessed by Lallana and Liverpool eventually tee up Sturridge who shoots from 20 yards but straight at Fraser.  Another effort straight afterwards as Firmino takes aim and once more it’s straight at the big man. The kid that Liverpool have at right back is called Trent Alexander-Arnold and he’s proving lively out there but he doesn’t seem to give a lot of thought at what’s behind him if Liverpool lose it.

Right on cue we break out on the left as some nice work by Bertrand and JWP sends Redmond scampering away from the right back and towards the penalty area where he fires it across and Lovren clears awkwardly out to Davis on the edge of the box and his shot is straight enough but blocked.  It’s nice to have a shot and it seems to inspire us as we’re soon away on the left again with JWP to Davo to Bertrand and once again it’s Redmond with Arnold trailing in his wake.  Redmond drives past Matip who can’t make a challenge and pokes it across to Tadic who must score but he hits it well enough and Karius flies out of the goal and virtually sits on it.  Great chance. Shite.

Liverpool haven’t heeded the warning and are still leaving Alexander-Arnold to fend for himself but he’s not helping by over-committing and once more we’re down the left with Romeu putting Redders away again – once more he flies past Matip as if he isn’t there (like he shouldn’t be) and his cross this time comes off a defender and Steve Davis has a chance on his swinger and he swings from 8 yards and smashes it into the Kop.  Fuck it again.

The good news is that despite these misses, we have arrived at half time with it at 0-0.  45 minutes to go.  To be honest, that was a pretty good half for us with not much danger from Liverpool and Stephens and Yoshida looking excellent at the back.  I wonder if all the experts are still saying it’s a formality that Liverpool will win it?

It’s not been a great day for J-Rod so far and he’s spend most of it with his head in his hands as others missed efforts instead of passing to him.  He appears to have picked up a knock and Shane Long is on in his place at the start of the second half.  The opening five minutes of the half are pretty uneventful with Liverpool doing a good Southampton impression with their sideways passing and no penetration.  On 53 minutes, overrated bag of shit Emre Cannot has a pop from about 25 yards and it’s not great but Fraser makes a bollocks of it and it spins behind him and it’s going in but somehow, from being on his arse, Fraser dives backwards towards the goal and slaps the ball away with a big paw and gets it away from the post.  Liverpool all appeal and the Kop is going mental but even up here we have goal line technology so fuck off.  It’s the worst bollocks followed by one of the best saves ever.  It’s absolutely impossible to see how he has kept that out from where he was.  Onwards – we’ve all aged about 10 years but onwards.

Heart Attack Time

Shane Long has not contributed much as yet as we are struggling to get the ball forward and retain it for more than a few passes and then he made his mark… on JWP as a ball came in and the two of them went for it and clattered into eachother, causing JWP to pick up a knock and have to go off but Claude (in my opinion) got it spot on by bringing on Hojbjerg to give us a bit more strength in midfield.  It’s wasn’t long til our next major scare as a Milner cross sailed over everyone (because he’s shit) but it was returned and Sturridge was 6 yards out with a volley and thankfully, he skied it…. And breathe, again…. For another few minutes when following us coughing up possession, Henderson crosses it in and Sturridge meets it on the volley but no danger because he hasn’t got a right foot and it went sailing over the bar again.  This didn’t stop him having a little dive though and a quick look at the ref, probably trying to convince the German bloke in the glasses on the sideline that it was more difficult than it looked.

Pressure and lots of it.  We can’t get out at all but Liverpool keep going across and then back across, then someone slings it in and Stephens or Yoshida head it out.  Coutinho is always a danger though this is based on previous deeds against us rather than anything he’s done today but there’s a bit of a moment as he works space for a right footed shot from the edge of the box but the man whose new contract is the only one that matters today, fires wide.

Get in the Fuckin' Boards...

Redmond has tired after his excellent performance in the first half and I was fully expecting Sam McQueen to come on and sit in front of Bertrand but on came Josh Sims.  Not long after there’s a good moment when Romeu, the man whose new contract barely rates a mention, slides in on Milner, wins the ball and sends the Liverpool man crashing into the boards.  Romeu has really come to the party in the second half.  He gave the ball away a few times in the first half but now he’s right on it.

It’s a cliché but the minutes really are taking hours – 15….. fucking ages…. 14.  Corner to Liverpool, headed out, overhead by Firmino and it hits Long and a big appeal for handball.  Fuck offfffff, play on…  The German in the glasses is going bright red and jumping up and down.  Pipe down Jurgen you knob head.  I had to watch about 6 replays before I thought that it might have brushed his upper arm.  Jurgen must have fucking good glasses if he can see that clearly.  Luckily, Martin Atkinson didn’t agree.  3, 2, 1, 0…. 4 minutes to go.  Come on!!!

A ball gets played into our box on the left and Origi is onto it but Stephens is across and pokes it away for a corner with Origi hitting the deck with maximum embellishments.  Fucking diving bastard.  Stephens and the rest of the Saints players in proximity leave Origi in no doubt about what they thought but it’s a corner which Milner takes and you can always rely on Milner.  Shite corner to Romeu at the front post and cleared out to Davis and headed on to Sims and he’s off up the pitch diagonally, racing away from Henderson and Wijnaldum and driving into the Liverpool half where he draws the defender, and slips it to Long.  It looks a bit far ahead of him for a second but Shane’s touch is brilliant (in complete contrast to most of his control this season) and bang… across Karius and screaming into the net, right on front of the Saints fans… mental.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Scenes!!

You fucking beauty and we are going to Wembley.  Have that Lallana – go cry on Jurgen’s shoulder you rat faced nivea twat little shit.  They have a minute to score twice to send it to extra time but they’re a busted flush.  The defence repels a half hearted ball forward and that’s it.  Fuck Yeah!

After the whistle the players line up and go to the fans and everyone’s going nuts and in the middle of the pitch is Claude Puel, calm as fuck, shaking hands and talking to Liverpool players as they walk off.  Lallana has already gone, he’s shaken hands with the ref and fucked off as he probably didn't want to be filmed crying.   He could have repaired some damage if he’d gone to the Saints fans and clapped.  Actually, who am I kidding, he’d have got the verbal kicking of a lifetime.  Are we bothered about Dejan anymore?  Well it was amusing seeing him looking dazed and confused at the end which is really no different to how he plays these days.

Claude got the game spot on it has to be said.  He’s got it wrong a few times this season and I’m not pretending that I’ve ever been completely won over but that was magnificent from him, over both legs and he joins Lawrie McMenemy and Gordon Strachan as managers who have got us to a major final – something not managed by the much higher thought of Pochettino and Koeman.  We were set up perfectly and the proof was in how solid we were and how many chances we created over the two games and Claude deserves the success for these two games alone.  Liverpool will shit on about missing Mané but we were missing Austin, Boufal and Van Dijk and Fonte as well I guess.  I wonder what that was like in the Fonte household.  Join West Ham to win trophies but leave the team that’s just reach the final who coincidentally (or not) has improved dramatically since you left.  I guess we dealt better with our four absentees than Liverpool dealt with their one.

I’m sure that Claude will say that he is nothing without the players and there were some serious performances out there.  Jack Stephens was brilliant and put in a performance that no one thought he had in him.  Next to him, Maya Yoshida put in a performance which has started to become the norm.  Six months ago, if one of Fonte or Virgil was injured there would be a huge panic amongst the fans that Yoshida was playing but maybe that’s changing.  It should be.  Cedric and Bertrand were superb in defence and attack and the midfielders, all four who played were like machines, not giving Liverpool a second with the ball in dangerous areas and breaking intelligently.  Where have all the Redmond haters gone?  He, like JWP will be pushing for the England squad pretty soon and then there was Shane.  Bloody hell he’s been crap this season but that was perfect.  Sometimes you look at him and know he could play all night and not score.  Tonight though… as soon as the first touch was good, he was never going to miss.

There were 14 heroes out on the pitch today with every one of them putting in a performance.  Fucking brilliant.  Can’t say more than that.  As for Liverpool – well Klopp used his post—match interview to veer between congratulations to Saints, moaning about his strikers and mainly slating the referee for not getting a penalty for the perceived handball against Shane Long.  If that’s all you’re going to go on about after 180 minutes of football when you’ve been 2^nd best and haven’t really looked like scoring then you’re really struggling mate.  Maybe he’s a one-trick pony manager whose teams can only play one way?  There’s really no competition if you’re looking at who was the best manager over the two games.

Is it sweeter because it’s Liverpool and all the players they’ve signed off us?  Of course it fucking is.  With Mané at the AFCON and Clyne injured, it was down to Lallana and Lovren to carry the can for the Liverpool FC media department and their pre-first leg ‘rub our faces in it’ graphic.  Lallana was very peripheral to say the least and Lovren looked like what he is, an accident waiting to happen.  Even back in harness with Matip he looked all over the place.  Maybe his head was somewhere else.  I was spewing when he left and thought he was a great player but in truth, we dodged a bullet there. 

So, Liverpool…. you lost home and away to your ‘feeder’ club.  You lost home and away to the team that Steven Gerrard sees fit to comment about in terms of signing more of their players.  You lost home and away to the team who sign a player and then your fans shit all over the official announcements on social media with oh-so-funny ‘Welcome to Liverpool’ or ‘see you in a year’ comments.  Fuck off and fuck you.  We’re going to Wembley and you are not.  Sky haven’t got their dream final but what they don’t get is that it’ll be a better game now because Liverpool aren’t in it.

So the next round – is the final.  Get in.  I was there in 1979 for our only previous League Cup Final in what was my second trip to Wembley after the Charity Shield in 1976.  We lost to Nottingham Forest 3-2 and it was a great game but as a 10 year old, it was hard to be consoled by that because we lost.  This time we will be playing Mourinho’s Manchester United after they made heavy weather of getting through against Hull.  It was always going to be them and it will be massively difficult but it’s rare to get to a final and play someone easy.  Hopefully they’ll think it will be easy and we’ll want it more.  We definitely wanted it more than Liverpool.

Next up, Arsenal, FA Cup 4^th Round.  It’s a free hit as far as I’m concerned.  

Premier League Match 22 - Southampton 3 Leicester 0

It's Alright Virgil, Les Said There'd Be a Replacement Before Jose Left

The first game of the post-Fonte era was at home against last years Champions, Leicester City, currently languishing in 15^th place but through to the knockout stages of the Champions League.  I guess they’ve prioritised the European competition as a reward for what they achieved last year and why not?  I loved what they achieved last year even though undoubtedly, all the cards fell in their favour.  Just take the two games against us as an example – we were 2-0 up at home and they equalised in the 93^rd minute because Kelvin Davis can’t kick a ball.  In the away game, at 0-0, we should have had a penalty and them a red card but they got away with it and then scored a goal which should have been disallowed.

On paper they don’t look great – Morgan and Huth are still slow and cumbersome and they are shorn of Mahrez at the AFCON and N’Golo Kante who perhaps saw it all coming and left for Chelsea.  Jamie Vardy is still there having turned down a move to Arsenal in the summer.  Penny for your thoughts Jamie?

With us selling yet another one of our core first tem players and Les Reed’s promise that no one would be sold without a replacement coming in, it was somewhat disconcerting to hear that Florin Gardos would be given a chance, hinting that no one would be incoming.  Now I quite liked Gardos when he played two seasons ago but he hadn’t proved he was ‘regular first team’ material even then and he’s been injured for 18 months.  It’s a hell of a punt to be expecting to get by with Virgil, Maya, Jack Stephens (who is a a kid) and Florin.  If you believe the papers though, we’ve had a loan bit for Sakho turned down as Liverpool believe they can sell him to someone for £20 million.  Good luck with that!  Our other problem area is of course up front and we are apparently after an Italian lad called Manolo Gabbiadini but as we enter the final week of the transfer window, there is still nothing concrete.

Claude has gone for what on paper is his best available side with JWP and Hojbjerg preferred to Clasie in midfield and J-Rod instead of Long up front.  Leicester have deviated from their strict 4-4-2 which won them the title and though the keeper and back 4 is the same, Albrighton is out and Demerai Gray is in and Kante and Mahrez are replaced by Mendy and Ndidi who are complete unknowns to me.

This game is a bit of a bonus for yours truly as I was supposed to be at my sons Under 13s match so Leicester at home was going to have to be sacrificed in the name of stupid Sunday kick off times but as Hythe Rec doesn’t have undersoil heating – here we are.

Away we go an from the first minute it’s remarkable how much space we are finding on the wings.  Cedric slings a ball over and Schmeichel is very undertain and ends up luckily (for him) clearing it off JWP and out for a goal kick.  The first real chance comes straight afterwards as we find space down the left his time and Tadic puts over a perfect ball to Redmond who meets it on the full and heads powerfully but over the bar.  He needs practice at heading does that boy.

Redmond produces a near post shot and Schmeichel gets down well to give us a corner and Tadic sets up a break with a shocking kick which is cleared out to Demeral Gray who runs and runs… and runs and if he got his head up we’d have been fucked as they had two spare but he hits it straight at Fraser and no problems.

Having at attack is a temporary reprieve for Leicester and soon we’re pummelling them on the wings again.  Virgil switches left to right, Cedric plays a 1-2 with Hojbjerg before sliding the ball into JWP who just hits it first time, no fucking about and it flies across the keeper and into the far bottom corner.  After weeks of moaning about JWP not being able to hit a moving ball, he hits one perfectly and I am delighted to be proved wrong.

Leicester appear to have no answers in midfield and JWP and Hojbjerg are playing 10 yards further forward than usual and committing to attacks rather than sitting just in front of Romeu.  Hojbjerg makes a header his in midfield and gets caught late by Mendy.  JWP curls it in from the left hand side of centre about 30 yards out, towards Yoshida and it drops down off a defender and there’s J-Rod to smash it first time intot he net with his left foot.  Fuck me - weve scored twice!

2-0 at half time would be very nice but we allow Gray to have another run at Cedric and Yoshida and he makes a good position for himself before displaying a complete lack of composure and smashing it over the bar.  It’s a mystery to me how well Huth  and Morgan played for Leicester last season but they are looking old, slow and tired today.  Morgan has a grab at Tadic’ shirt and J-Rod crashes to the deck in the penalty area under a clumsy Huth challenge but nothing given and so we go in two goals to the good and looking decent.  It’s been one of the best first halves of the season.

Albrighton is on at the start of the second half as Ranieri reverts to last years formation and as many of the personnel as are available.  All that’s different now is Gray for Mahrez and Ndidi for Kante.  Any Leicester fightback (they were 2-0 down against us last year) is going to have to wait though as we’re attacking with Tadoc on the left and his cross finds Hojbjerg who smashes it but well wide.

There’s a heart in mouth moment on 55 minute as Gray puts in a cross from the left and Virgil steps in front of Vardy and clears but Bastard Steptoe has caught him and it doesn’t look good.  Virgil is eventually up and hobbling and the game continues.  We’ve been disrupted by the injury and a couple of balls are tossed into the box and Virgil heads away and goes down again and that’s his lot.  Shit.  My first thought is f Les Reed saying ‘no one leaves before a replacement comes in’.  OK Les – fucked that one up haven’t you and on comes Jack Stephens.

Leicester look very half arsed and not bothered about things.  First Schmeichel takes ages over a pass and it skims of J-Rod’s toe on its way to Fuchs.  Then Fuchs plays it blindly infield and Hojbjerg picks it off and advances into the penalty area but unstead of going round the keeper or just slotting it, he shanks it horribly wide from 12 yards in what must be one of the misses of the season.  Shocking.  Such a shame as well as he’s been superb apart from that.

So it should be 3-0 but then it’s nearly 2-1 as Gray wins a corner which is taken, Forster half clears and it gets crossed back in, Huth heads down and morgan is all alone but hits it up and over the bar.  Last year he would have scored of course.  Up the other end we go and Tadic gets unceremoniously binned by Huth and he delivers a superb free kick which Yoshida goes for and Morgan can only head into his own net.  Goaaaaaaaaa- hang on, Michael Oliver is going to the lino.  There has been no flag from the lino and no whistle from the referee and Morgan has got in front of Maya and headed in so what the fuck is he questioning?  If it’s a push then he would have whistled so that can only leave offside and the lino didn’t flag…  no goal, fuck off!  The lino sheepishly put up the flag that Oliver has persuaded him to put up and they’ve got away with one there big time. 

Clasie is on for Hojbjerg and Shane is on for the knackered J-Rod.  Both departing players have had tremendous games but on the occasion of his 30^th birthday, Shane looks up for it and JWP puts him away wth aball over Morgan and Shane cuts in and across, Morgan just barges him over, penalty.  I’m expecting JWP to be on this but it’s Tadic, who no one wanted to take another penalty ever again but up he steps and takes it properly, bang into the top corner.  That’s it man… the keeper goes the right way and he’s still got no chance.  Three Nil and you can sing ‘Champions of England, You’ll Never Sing That’ as much as you like.  You’ve been fucking hammered today.

There’s a chance for a fourth as Redmond sees a shot well saved but no matter – it’s done and onto Liverpool on Wednesday night with three points and an end to our four match losing run.  Three points. I remember that feeling and it feels good. We were absolutely miles better than we have been recently. It was almost like the shackles have been removed and we were allowed to attack. My main complaint all season has been that the midfielders who aren't Romeu not getting forward enough to support the attack but today JWP and Hojbjerg were getting in touch having shots and making a difference at the top end of the pitch. JWP got himself a goal and Hojbjerg should have got him self a goal on more than one occasion. The important thing was that they had chances and asking for any more than three goals in one game is ridiculously greedy. Having said that, I have absolutely no fucking idea how Wes Morgan’s own goal can be deemed offside but I don't really care, we got a third in the end.

There were better performances from individual players all over the pitch today, the aforementioned JWP and Hojbjerg, Redmond and Tadic looked dangerous and J-Rod had his best game for two years. All of the defenders were superb and gave Leicester absolutely nothing. The only downer was obviously the injury to Virgil and we can only hope that he recovers in time for Wednesday. If nothing else it highlights to the powers that be, that you Les, How short we are at centre back. If Virgil is injured then we are going into our most important match of the season with Yoshida, who has not been first choice for the past four years, Jack Stephens who is a kid with less than 3 first team games and Florin Gardos who has been injured for the best part of a year and a half and he hadn't established himself as a first team regular before the injury had happened.  Jack Stephens did okay today against a very limited Leicester attack but there is one glaring issue in that he never seems to cleanly win a header which looks to me to be down to him not physically committing himself to winning it enough.

Leicester were piss poor and I really don't get it. They had a formula and a structure last season which worked perfectly. They could have picked nine out of the starting 11 from last season but Ranieri seems to be trying to be too clever, shipping Drinkwater out on the right hand side in the first half where he looked like a fish up a tree. The new players that they've signed to play in midfield in place of N’golo Kante looked incredibly average as we absolutely bossed that area of the pitch from the first minute till the last. I wonder if Jamie Vardy is regretting not joining Arsenal now?  I think he's a very good player but you can see why people are mentioning him in the same breath as one season wonder.

So, the post-Fonte era starts with a comfortable win and a clean sheet.. Make of that what you will. Onto Anfield on Wednesday night for the second leg of the League Cup semi-final.  The Merseyside Red Twats lost 3-2 at home to the previously useless Swansea city in Saturday which could make them more or less dangerous opponents on Wednesday. Either way, them losing at home to Swansea was fucking hilarious. Fucking bin dippers.  Please be fit Virgil….

Jose Fonte - The King is Dead, Long Live the King

Jose Fonte baby, Jose Fonte Woaaaaah.

Three years or so of singing that and we were informed it was promounced ‘Font’ and not ‘Font-ay’.  Who cares…?

When José first signed for us from Crystal Palace, it was in our first season in League 1 and it was ridiculous as he was far too good for that level.  He absolutely strolled through games and no one could touch him and it was amazing that we’d managed to persuade him to drop down a division to play for us.  After a season and a half of partnering Radhi Jaidi in possibly the most intimidating centre back partnership that League 1 has ever seen, we were off to the Championship and José and Jos Hooiveld bossed the division and up we went again to the Premier League.  His prophecy of getting in the Premier League had come true but it was a struggle when we got there as all the defenders we had struggled like mad with the step up.

For the opening match of the first full season under Pochettino, it was a surprise when José was in partnership with first choice Dejan Lovren but it worked and we flourished.  Out the door went the manager and the captain and in came Ronald Koeman and made José the captain which was a brilliant move and made him a much better player.  A season with Toby Alderweireld and one with Virgil van Dijk under Koeman and he’s become a regular in the Portuguese national squad and was in the squad for the European Championships in 2016.  Portugal started slowly with José on the bench and let in a load of goals but scraped through the group and José got his chance, partnering Pepe and from then on in they were better and ended up winning the tournament. 

For the rest of the football world it was all about Cristiano Ronaldo but for Saints fans it was about José Fonte (with a little but if Cedric Soares thrown in).  It was the next best thing to England winning something or Saints winning something.  Our captain was holding the Euro 2016 trophy aloft.  It was one of the great international moments along with Rickie Lambert’s England debut…. but something had changed.  Getting himself a new ‘super’ agent gave the first inclination that something was amiss and and then his various social media accounts were still posting Portugal celebration pictures when the Saints season was about to start.  Cedric was back in Saints mode but José was not and the Captain was not giving interviews and not really giving any impression of leading.  In and out of the team all season, mainly due to player rotation rather than bad performances and then the Everton away game when he gave a goal away and looked like he didn’t care in the slightest.  A transfer request and a move to West Ham for £8 million.

United or Liverpool.... Errr!

There were rumours at the end of Euro 2016 was that he was coveted by Manchester United and their Portuguese manager Mourinho and our José even commented on it being flattering to be linked.  If that move had happened I don’t think anyone would have thought ill of him.  Maybe the interest was genuine or maybe it wasn’t.  Maybe a bid was knocked back or maybe there was no bid.  Come January, no clubs of that stature were interested and so he’s off to West Ham which in the context of José Fonte’s remaining years as a Premier League player, is a sideways move at best and I think that’s what grates.  With the Olympic Stadium they may push on in future years but that’ll be after he’s retired.  Yes he’ll have more money per week and yes he’s got an extra year on his contract which at 33 is a big deal.  He says Saints didn’t offer him a new deal whereas the club says it did.  I don’t really care but the past few years have left me very wary of believing a players or a managers side of the story.  At various points, I thought Lallana was ‘Saints for life’, I thought Alderweireld was an honourable bloke and I thought Koeman was different and honoured his contracts and laughably, I thought Lovren had a good attitude.  As a balance, I don’t believe Les Reed when he says contract talks are going well, either.

From a club point of view, £8 million for a 33 year old is decent but we have to get a replacement and now.  Les Reed recently said that no one leaves unless we have a replacement lined up and we need one.  We were one short in that position even with José and now we’re two short.

José - Something has happened and we’ll never know exactly what.  I’ve already aired my opinions but now is the time to look back and celebrate the player and what he meant to us for the years he was here.  Here’s some key José incidents as I wrote about them at the time.

17-1-2010 – Signing and Debut

The transfer window has opened and three new players have arrived : Jose Fonte, Dan Seabourne and Jon Otsemobor.

Fonte is an amazing signing when you consider he was a regular for Crystal Palace in the Championship. It’s remarkable what a bit of cash in a cash-strapped times can do. The CV (in the form of comments from Palace fans) seems very good and he’s the right age at 26. He of course had come into the squad in place of the departing Trotters and while I’m sure he’ll be a more than adequate replacement on the pitch, he will not provide us with nearly the same comedy value.

29-3-2010 JPT Final

Deflated, Carlisle resorted again to hoof and hope – Jaidi headed everything away and Fonte was so laid back he was in a deckchair.

30-5-2010 Review of first season

Jaidi is a colossus of a man and must have headed away thousands of aimless punts up the field this season as our opponents often used to work on the theory that he’ll miss one eventually. Yes he’s a bit limited on the floor and yes he’s knocking on a bit but it’s fine when he’s complimented with a skilful ball playing centre half like Jose Fonte who is quite simply, class. Pace, awareneness, distribution, strong in the tackle, good in the air… check. Different class and no more needs to be said. How on earth we managed to sign him is a mystery but hopefully his assertion that Saints would be his quickest way into the Premier League will be proved correct.

24/4/2011 Brighton Away

Saints get a free kick in their own half out on the left wing and the master of all creative free kicks, Kelvin Davis goes to take it. He booms it forward towards the back post to where Jose Fonte Baby, rises like Big Ron in his prime and heads it over Wankergren and drops it in at the far post. Off comes the shirt, round the running track in 40 seconds, across the long jump pit, over the steeplechase barrier and with a hop, skip and a jump he’s with the Saints fans who have all gone nuts and the advertising boards have fallen down.

As it was St.Georges Day, it would have been kind of poetic if an Englishman had scored but we’ll settle for St.Patrick and did you know that St.George was also at one time, the patron Saint of Portugal and then he was replaced by Jose Fonte…. Part of that’s true anyway.

16/5/2011 Promotion from League One End of Season Review

The first choice pairing have been JOSE FONTE and Radhi Jaidi.  Fonte has been imperious this season and is the best centre back in the league bar none.  It is still a total mystery to me why he came down to play in League 1 when he’s good enough to play in the Premier League.  Though he’s a big lad and more than capable of mixing it, he’s better off reading the game and sweeping up whilst letting a big ‘first knock’ centre half challenge for the ball.  Chipped in with about 7 goals this season as well and provided one of the best moments of the season with the goal in the last minute at the Withdean.  Will be linked with moves away, especially to Newcastle where Alan Pardew is manager.  The same media outlets who report that he’s off to Newcastle will be the same ones who reported that he and Pardew had fallen out.  This may come as a surprise to you but the media write a load of bollocks.

30/4/2012 Championship promotion Day v Coventry

As we built up down the right, Deano was slides in to retain possession and gets a kick in the back for his troubles and the move ended with Butters winning a corner on the right. Foxy went over to whip it in and José lost his marker and dived in to head it down, past the keeper and over the defender on the line for 2-0 to spark some big time José celebrations which were mainly about not being left with Jack Cork on zero goals for the season.

3/5/2012 Championship Season Player Review

José Fonte started the season a bit shakily, had a really good spell after Christmas after an injury lay off and then wobbled a bit towards the end.  In the last game though he showed how good he can be in both boxes.  I get the feeling he finds it all a bit too easy and switches off at times which he of course, will not be able to do next year.  With 100% concentration required at all times, I see him being a big player for us next year as he has it all in the locker, the intelligence, the  physicality, the ball playing skills and a bit of pace.  Having said he has intelligence – maybe he needs to be a bit more streetwise when wrestling with opposition forwards around the edge of the penalty area.

4/6/2013 1^st Premier League Season Review
The season started with JOSE FONTE (6.5/10) and JOS HOOIVELD (6/10) as the centre back partnership, then it was Fonte and MAYA YOSHIDA (7/10), then Hooiveld and Yoshida and then back to Fonte and Hooiveld as we went full circle.  Jose at times looked like a rabbit in the headlights and Jos looked like a slightly bigger, more clumsy rabbit in the headlights

20/8/2013 – 1^st choice under Mauricio

Mauricio looked unsurprisingly delighted with the result and I loved his (translated) answer when asked about the surprising choices of Fonte, Chambers and JWP.  He looked genuinely surprised at the question and said “why is it a surprise, they’re Southampton players aren’t they?”, basically saying that they’re in the squad, therefore they’re good enough to play.

Don't Even Think About Nutting Me

27/1/14 The Osvaldo Incident

There once was a time in the recent past, when I had nothing to write about in the build-up to games aside from positive stuff.  After all, it’s been a steady upward progression since this blog started in 2009.  Just recently though, it’s been a whirlwind of shite and this weeks instalment saw a statement from the club that Dani ‘The Prick’ Osvaldo had been banned by 2 weeks by the club for an incident on the training ground.  It turns out that the incident involved him kicking and head-butting Jose Fonte.  Who he nutted is largely irrelevant aside from the fact that the typical Italian coward picked on one of the seemingly more docile members of the squad.

6/6/2015 End of Season Review (1^st Year as Skipper)

Being named as skipper at the start of the season seems to have helped add something extra to the game of JOSÉ FONTE.  It made me think that Nigel Adkins missed a trick when he names Lallana as his captain instead of José.  The new skipper has been different class all season and the outside world is now beginning to realise that he is the man who makes the defence.   If ever you needed proof of this then look at that shitbag who pissed off to Liverpool who has looked an absolute clown this season without José telling him what to do.  The Koeman influence has seen his play out of defence come on leaps and bounds and maybe the one mistake all year which led to a goal (van Persie backpass at SMS).  He won the players vote for Player of the Season… he won the supporters vote for Player of the Season… he should be in every team of the year from the Premier League.

12/7/16 - The moment it all changed – Portugal Euro 2016

It was a ‘tear in the eye’ moment to see José Fonte carrying the trophy around and giving it the big one.  He stepped down a division to join us in league 1, won the JPT, promotion from league 1 to Championship, promotion from Championship to Premier league, 14^th, 8^th, Captain, 7^th, Europa league Qualifiers, 6^th, Europa League Group Stages.  He was nowhere near the national team when he joined us and now look at him – holding up the second most prestigious trophy in World Football.  And the best bit is that he’s still a Saints player and he’s achieved more as a Saints player than any of those bastards who’ve left in that time.  Now that’s a legend.

‘Legend’ – interesting word, bandied about far too much these days in relation to footballers.  Is José Fonte a Saints legend?  I guess it depends on your age – if you’re in your 20s then he probably qualifies but for those a bit older, does he rank up there with Mick Channon, Matt le Tissier, Francis Benali and Rickie Lambert?  Not quite.  I think that if he’d stayed to the end of this season and then moved to a Portuguese club then he’d be on the list.

He’s not done the ‘full Lallana’ and trashed all his good work but it’s not been a satisfactory end to things which is a shame.  You hope for some loyalty in football and there is none aside from fans to their team.  José seems like a decent guy and he always has but no one was interested in him before Euro 2016 and it’s easy to be loyal when no one else is wanting you.  It’s another example of the issues Saints have when their players are successful in an international side.  Our players used to leave because they didn’t get picked for their countries, now they often leave because they do.

He’s been great for Saints and Saints have been great for him.  Farewell Captain – hope it works out.  It’s just a shame it had to be this way.

FA Cup 3rd Round Replay - Southampton 1 Norwich 0

Thank Fuck We Can Go Home

The game that no one wanted is upon us and Norwich in an FA Cup 3^rd Round replay.  The last time I saw St.Mary’s this empty was when I was playing in a 5 a side tournament here as no one wanted to see a big fat bastard lumber about.  I can’t think why.  The Kingsland is shut, the Chapel is sparse, the home bit of the Northam is full and I can’t see how full the Itchen is cos I’m sat in it.  Norwich have brought a good crowd down and fair play to them for that.

We have Maya as captain today and it’s like a crèche day out with 6 Academy player son show in Lewis, McQueen, Stephens, Reed, JWP and Sims.  The rest of the team is made up of Shane and J-Rod, Clasie and Martina.  Norwich have rested players as well which I donl;t understand when you’re a manager under pressure like Alex Neil is.  If for example you get hammered then you’re going to get slaughtered for playing a weakened side and it’ll be another nail in your coffin.  If you get beat playing your best side then at least if you get sacked anyway you’ll be able to sleep knowing you put your best side out.

Claude revealed before the game that José Fonte was exploring opportunities (his favourite word) and it appears that these are offers from West Brom and West Ham.  Hardly big clubs are they?  Trouble is that I’m sure that if José knew that none of the big boys were interested, he’d have stayed at Saints happily but the bridges appear to have been burnt now and the ego and the new agent and Saints themselves won’t allow any way back.  It’s a shame but playing in the same team as Cristiano Ronaldo, doesn’t make you Cristiano Ronaldo… and £300k a week at Real Madrid or wherever.

Anyway, FA Cup and away we go and it’s fucking freezing.  The game starts and it’s crap.  Norwich are playing a 12-5-1 formation so it’s up to us to break them down and guess what – we don’t even look like we have any idea how to go about it.  We pass it slowly across and back and the massed ranks of Norwich defenders just crab across the pitch depending on where the ball is.  We knock it into Long or Rodriguez who lose it, it gets cleared, our defenders pick it up and we crab again.  The sum total of action in the first half are two openings, one for Sims and one for J-Rod and in both cases, the shots they hit are so weak that McGovern just picks the ball up.  It’s crap.  The bloke two to my left in the crowd drops his coffee on the floor which is a highlight because it took my attention away from what was happening on the pitch.

At half time in the kids relay around the pitch, both kids shoot from five yards and both miss.  Says it all.

The shooting master class in continued after the break as Sims tees up JWP who proves once again that he cannot kick a ball when it’s moving as he passes it straight to the keeper.  We should have a penalty after that as Sims breaks into the box from the right and Bassong grabs him round the shoulders before letting go.  Nothing given and the Claude does a little rage dance on the sideline.

Another backpass shot from Sims then Long actually gets us interested by cutting in from the left and shooting narrowly wide of the far post.  J-Rod is having a shithouse of a game but he does get on the end of a Martina cross which was aimed somewhere else but he hooks it across goal and there’s no one there.  The ‘Norwich in our half’ klaxon sounds as Murphy (one of them) breaks away on the right and fires over a good cross which is just in front of Lafferty and I remember that we have Harry Lewis in goal.

With 20 to go Claude removes Reed and J-Rod who have both been diabolical and on comes Redmond and Romeu.  JWP gets the chance to kick a ball that’s not moving and it’s decent free kick which curls into the side netting and everyone in the Itchen thought it was in but alas no and the probability of extra time was looming large.

We pick the tempo up now but it still doesn’t stop the backpass shooting and Clasie has a dribbler to the keeper as well.  A bad proper backpass gets intercepted by Long and he lays it back to Sims who chips over the keeper and over the bar by quite a long way.

All game, martina has been his usual useless self when it comes to getting good crosses in by suddenly he’s on fire, setting up Redmond for a decent effort which is clawed away and then again picking out JWP who adds ‘heading a moving ball’ to ‘kicking a moving ball’ to the list of things he can’t do very well.  McQueen who has been our best player by a mile, has a decent dig from the left which is well saved.  (0 minutes up.

As we started the dreaded count down to the final whistle and another half an hour, Redmond picks it up on the left and drove forwards.  He overhit the straight pass to pick up McQueen’s run but the Man of the Match just got there and knocked over a great first time cross.  Long meets it from 5 yards and unbelievably heads it straight at McGovern, a couple of players bundle in and it ends up apologising over the line.  The replay on the big screen showed that as he fell having missed his sitter, Shane had managed to swing a foot at it and poke it into the net.  It’s actually funny that such a shite game can be decided with the shittiest of shitty goals.  The cheer of relief when the ref decided ‘fuck this’ was most welcome.

Thank fuck that we scored.  Another half an hour in the freezing cold and drawing 0-0 on penalties will thankfully not happen.  What a shit game.  Bloody awful.  First off let me say that if Alex Neil gets sacked then he’ll deserve it – 7 defenders all game, no shots and hardly any attacks.  I know we’ve played like that at time this season but that’s against Spurs, Chelsea or Liverpool.  I actually felt sorry for Lafferty up front for them – he could have just fucked off for a pint and no one would have missed him.  On the Ball City – er, no.  Does ‘On The Edge of Your Own Penalty Area” fit in a terrace chant at all?

So, when confronted with a team playing for penalties from the first minute, Saints of course went about it in a totally clueless fashion.  Quick passing is what it’s all about but no, sideways, backwards, sideways, backwards, up to the strikers, nothing.  Is there a striker or midfielder anywhere in the Premier League with as little actual footballing ability as Shane Long.  We know he can be good but when he’s bad and has to fall back on basic technique; he has none.  It bounces off his shins, off his knee, off anything and the goal said it all – a totally free header from 5 yards and managing to hit the keeper and taking two efforts to get it over the line from practically in the goal.  Long and J-Rod were fucking dreadful and Sims overall was average at best. 

The midfield three of JWP, Clasie and Reed were quite frankly, rubbish.  Balls given away and no ability on the ball at all.  Why can’t JWP shoot when the ball is moving? – he can’t kick it.  Reed was worryingly bad and off the pace, always arriving late and usually fouling whichever Norwich midfielder we’d given the ball to.  The win was earned with the introduction of Romeu and Redmond for J-Rod and Reed in the last 20 as we dominated and created chances from then on in.

The defence did what they had to do defensively which was next to nothing.  I thought Jack Stephens did ok but on the rare occasion when Lafferty got near enough to put pressure on, Stephens wasn’t dominant or imposing at all.  The best player on the pitch was Sam McQueen who was excellent in both attack and defence.  He deserved the assist for the goal and was a constant threat down the left.  We have to find him a place in the league side, possibly playing in front of Ryan Bertrand on the left.  At the moment I’d play him ahead of Tadic on the left wing if he continues his post-broken nose form.  On the other side you had Martina who despite having loads of possession and crossing opportunities, delivered sod all of any quality.  He has no natural idea of when to go into the gap or when to cross it.  Usually he cuts back onto his left foot and skims it in five feet high to the first defender.  In goal, Harry Lewis had nothing to do and at 19, he’s already had the easiest clean sheet of his life.

I usually sit in the Chapel in the family bit but today I was in the Itchen, directly behind the Saints bench so I had a good view of Claude and he was going nuts which was quite reassuring.  He wasn’t happy, particularly in the first half when bad passing kept slowing down attacks.  He clearly wanted us to play with more tempo but the players seems incapable of doing it.  He also did a little dance and was yelling at the 4^th official when the ref decided to let Bassong hold Sims back when he ran into the penalty area.  He’s definitely part of the problem with his formation and lack of players in the box but some of our players, especially in forward areas are just not good enough and he has to make do.

It was dreadful but we won and that’ll do and now we have Arsenal at home in the 4^th Round.  Before that though we have Leicester in the league on Sunday and the Liverpool semi final 2^nd leg on Wednesday.  I guess the result on Wednesday will dictate the line-up we put out against the Gunners. By the end of next week we could be in one final and well on our way to another or we could just been looking nervously and hoping that Sunderland, Swansea, Palace and Hull continue to be shite.

As I finish this, José Fonte has moved to West Ham for £8 million and no doubt a higher wage and an extra year on his contract.  It’s shame it had to come to this but there’s been an issue all season.  I thought there was an issue when we were three days from the start of the Premier League season and he was still posting photos of Portuguese celebrations from the Euro’s.  Cedric was posting training shots with the Saints boys.  I’ll possibly write this up fully after the Leicester game.  For now I’ll just say – what a shame it had to come to this. 

Premier League Match 21 - Burnley 1 Southampton 0

Play, Rinse, Repeat, Play, Rinse, Repeat

After the Liverpool win in midweek there is of course another game just around the corner and it’s Burnley.  Despite being absolutely woeful when we beat them at St.Mary’s earlier in the season, they’ve made a much better fist of trying to stay in the Premier League than they did last time out a couple of years ago.  This has all been built on their home form as their away form is shocking – 1 point all season I think.  They are however, pretty shite and so we should take the momentum from Wednesday and get something here as long as Claude doesn’t fuck about with the team too much.

There’s been confirmation this week that José Fonte will not be considered for selection until after the transfer window has closed so he’s played his last game for us unless no one comes in for him.  This leaves us with Virgil and Maya as first choice and Jack Stephens as back up and this really isn’t good enough so as well as our chronic need for a striker, we also desperately need a centre back.  As far as I know we have that Florin Gardos chap but he may well have been deported for all we’ve heard about him recently.

Claude kind of rotated with Hojbjerg and JWP coming on for Davis and Clasie in midfield and Shane Long getting another chance to remember where the fuck the goal is in place of J-Rod.  The three players left out were the three who got substituted against Liverpool so I’m guessing they ran themselves into the ground.  Burnley have a very good keeper in Tom Heaton and they have Andre Gray who is not very good on Twitter but other than that they’re workmanlike and nothing exceptional.

It’s interesting to me that Burnley have such a good home record when their away form is crap and they were absolute dogshit when they played at our place.  Oh I’d forgotten about Ratboy George Boyd who just runs about and that’s it – his first involvement is to not track Ryan Bertrand who is away and bending a great cross in between defence and keeper.  Shane has made a good run and gets there first in front of Ward but misses the ball and it hits Ward and deflects for a corner. That’s poor and there’s no excuse for playing an airshot.  We capitalize on the corner in a big way as JWP plays it short to Redmond who crosses it four feet off the ground where it hits the first man.  We’ve got one of the best corner takers in the country and we play it short to play in a cross that Warwick Davis would have cleared.

The game is settling into a pattern of Saints possession and Burnley staying organized in exactly the kind of way that we struggle to score against.  Redmond has a header deflected over from a Tadic cross and Tadic has the best chance so far as Redmond finds hin on the left hand side and he does the right thing in going across the keeper but what a surprise, wide of the far post.

Following the ref giving us a break by not giving a clear foul by Hojbjerg on Hendrick, Long does pull out a great cross from the right which is met by JWP who heads it down and straight at Heaton who doesn’t have to move to block it.  And that’s it for the half – a half where we’ve been bad and they’ve been worse.

Burnley start the second half the brighter and Romeu bins Ashley Barnes to give them a free kick which is miles out but it doesn’t stop Defour from having a go which Fraser falls on easily.  For us, Redmond is showing a lack of quality both in crossing and shooting, firstly butchering a break with a crap ball to Hojbjerg and then shooting wide when Hojbjerg found him having retrieved the ball.  Well he didn’t really shoot wide as let it slide off his foot and keep going.

Tadic has produced his usual post-broken nose performance so he’s off with J-Rod coming on to play against his hometown club and we immediately look better as he finds Cedric on the right and his cross is met at the back post by Long but can he get the header on target?  Can he fuck and wide of the near post.

Joey Barton and Sam Vokes are on for Burnley and we win a free kick in midfield which JWP expertly delivers into the mixer.  Virgil gets a touch and there’s an almighty scramble but predictably it’s a Burnley boot and not a Southampton one that connects.

On 80 minutes, Ratboy Boyd cuts in from the right and Romeu goes to challenge and makes contact which is all Ratboy needs to buy a cheap free kick about 25 yards out.  Barton is over it and there’s a deep sense of inevitability.  Always one to write interesting scripts is Joey Barton and he hits it, not very well but our wall is shambolic and breaks up, it flicks off someone and Fraser is wrong footed and it skims into the corner.  For fuck sake.  On first look it seems that Fraser has lined up the wall and stood behind it and it’s his side but I think the wall has just totally failed to do it’s job.  Fraser has followed the ball but the little nick from the disintegrating wall has killed us.

Might as well blow the whistle now as we all know how this one ends.  Sims is on for Redmond.  I know he’s been shite but surely in the context of the team we have out on the pitch, we need one of the top scorers on the pitch.  We have a go to be fair – Bertrand has a volley which is well saved and from the corner, JWP finds Virgil who battles past three defenders but can only find Heaton with the header.

It’s taken 90 minutes but we finally produce some flowing football as via Bertrand and Virgil, J-Rod picks it up and runs at the defence before opening himself out and going for the far post – Heaton makes the save and Sims fires the rebound at the near post with Heaton getting down very well to make the save again.

The last few minutes are spent with us over-committing and nearly chucking in another one when Barton puts Ratboy away on the left but he makes a balls of it allowing us to get back.  The End.

Oh just fuck off!  Yet another game where we dominate, have a host of half chances, never really look like scoring and then concede and needless goal to their first decent effort.  Today it wasn’t even a decent effort – a pointlessly given away shite free kick which deflected in courtesy of a shit disintegrating wall.  Bollocks! Scored by Joey Barton who shouldn’t even be fucking playing.  Recently banned for placing bets on football matches while in Scotland, charged about 3 weeks ago with betting on over a thousand matches in England but the case hasn’t been heard yet for some fucking reason so he’s allowed to play in the mean time.  He’ll no doubt get banned for the rest of the season as of next week but we’ll let him play against Southampton and score a spawny fucking goal.  Fair play to Burnley for finding a way to win and that’s all that matters.  They were lucky bastards to win when it really should have been a 0-0 draw in what was a pretty piss poor game.

Joey Barton and Burnley isn’t the issue though.  It’s our inability to stick it in the net and the players we have who are shite in that regard.  We should have signed another striker at the start of the season and we should have been lining one up for January 1^st as even when Austin was fit as we were hardly prolific.  Once Austin was injured we looked desperate and everyone knew we’d be shite until January 1^st but surely we’d have a striker lined up…. but no.  Two weeks in and still nothing except Les Reed saying it’s a tough window to do business in – we fucking know that Les but it’s your job – to give the manager a squad to work with. 

That’s only part of the story though as on the goalscoring front, all of Tadic, Hojbjerg, JWP, Davis, Long, Rodriguez & Redmond are all under performing.  They have chances and miss them, we cross the ball in and there’s no bastard there.  Shane Long is the biggest let down – fuck me, zero goals from open play all season and just one headed goal from a corner in addition to not being able to control a football.

Claude gave his standard interview after the game which I read with subtitles as I couldn’t be arsed to listen to it.  It’s Groundhog Day, again, the same game, the same pattern, the same chances, the same misses, the same lack of runners, the same one chance for the opposition, the same knowing we won’t get back into it, the same flat resigned feeling at the final whistle, same manager interview.  Rewind, repeat, rewind, repeat. Fuck off.  There’s no real point in saying anything else – it’s the same every week.

Next up is the game we didn’t want against Norwich in the FA Cup which will definitely see appearances for Jack Stephens, Harrison Reed, Josh Sims, Sam McQueen and probably even Cuco the Clown.  I’ll be there… bring it on!