He's Beautiful and He's Back
I don’t ever remember the first competitive game of a season
being an important European game but here we are on the 30th of July at home to Vitesse Arnhem in the Europa League.
It’s important for a number of reasons but mainly because we spent all
last season talking about the possibility of European football and having
played 38 games to achieve it, we now have to take it seriously and not get
knocked out before the season starts and before yours truly gets back from a
badly timed family holiday.
It’s a bit of a
landmark moment when you consider where we’ve come from. The bottom of League One to a Europa League
match in 6 years. Markus and Katherina
must be very proud and I’m sure Nicola Cortese is somewhere, stroking the white
cat on his lap, looking at his expensive Swiss watch before leaping to his feet
and kicking the hell out of a television set as someone switches on the BT
Sport coverage from St Mary’s.
Getting drawn against the highest ranked non-seed sent a few
shudders through the body but hang on a minute – this is the team that finished
5th in the Dutch Eredivisie – a know that league inside out and
we’ve just played a few Dutch sides in friendlies who are of similar, if not
better standard. It’ll be ok… won’t it…
if we turn up and take it seriously.
One clue of course was the starting line-up which looks
strong. Cedric is in at right back and
the only question mark for me was Targett or Martina at left back and the
English youngster won. There were a couple
of eyebrow-raisers on the bench or not on the bench with J-Rod and Stephen
Caulker not making it, Jason McCarthy on the bench ahead of both Jack Stephens
and Jordan Turnbull and Paolo Gazzaniga being the reserve keeper ahead of
Kelvin Davis. Gazza does actually look
to have improved over the last 6 months whereas Kelvin is now in possession of
a shiny new bus pass so I’m not overly surprised at this.
Vitesse are Chelsea’s bitch club. It’s really hard to see what Vitesse get out
of the deal as I assume they are told that the youth players they got loaned by
Chelsea have to play (else what’s the point) and the players they are getting
loaned are just kids. It’s not like they’re loaning them Loic Remy or John Obi
Mikel to keep them sharp in case Jose decides to change his team once in a
while and play the odd reserve. No, it’s
Izzy Brown and Lewis Baker – players who you would be amazed if they ever play
a first team game for Chelsea and astounded if they played more than ten. It’s another thing that stinks about the
modern game that a super rich Premier League Club can basically toy with one of
the best teams in Holland and more ammunition for my argument that the loan
system as it stands at the moment is a joke.
If I was king (and I’m sure Blatter and Platini see
themselves as kings) I’d look to move towards abolishing the loan system all
together so competitions aren’t distorted and clubs actually have to take
responsibility for their players, so the super rich actually had to work and be
selective, rather than just hoovering up as many youth players as they can in
the vague hope that one might make it.
I’m aware that we’ve just signed two players on loan but to my mind, we
really shouldn’t be allowed to sign two players contracted to Championship
clubs on loan. The whole system is
screwed but it’s a massive debate that no one seems to care about.
Meanwhile, back at St Mary’s, the game starts and we quickly
try to go 1-0 down as a poor defensive header by Maya plops down in to
Djurdjevic who fires across goal, past Stekelenburg and inches past the far
post whilst the crowd collectively goes ‘shit’.
When we attack we’re not looking too shabby with Mané finding space and
sending a ball though to Tadic who is trashed by the defender and our momentary
‘last man, red card’ outrage is squashed by an offside flag. The offending defender was a Achenteh who has
the look of a complete thug but more of him later.
Our first effort on goal is from a corner as Steve Davis
swings it in and Maya is all alone but his header flies straight at Room in the
Vitesse goal. Making a quiet start (for
‘quiet’, read ‘poor’) start to his Saints career is Jordy Clasie who sells José
Fonte short with a simple 10 yard pass and we give a corner away which is
cleared easily and it’s back up the other end for another corner as Big Vic,
Davis and Mané combine of the right before Sadio’s potential through ball too
Graziano is cut out. Tadic keeps up his
form from last year and swings over a shocker which luckily come back to him –
a decent cross falls eventually to Big Vic about 12 yards out and he has an age
to shoot but it’s too close to the keeper who parries it our to Yoshida who
lashes it horribly wide.
It appears to have turned out way fully now with Vitesse
leaving one up and hoping for the best.
Davis picks out the keeper with a shot and Tadic picks him out with a
free kick which sails about a mile over any Saints player who might have got a
touch and straight to the keeper. It’s
the sort of free kick that makes you wonder if they ever practice.
Down the right hand side we go with Cedric moving the ball
to Tadic who feed infield to Mané. With
a perfectly weighted ball to find the perfectly timed run from the perfectly
formed Graziano who lashes a perfect shot past Room and into the roof of the
net. Brilliant move – superb finish –
1-0. Vitesse show no more inclination to
attack than they did at 0-0 and on 45 we win another corner. Davis plays a shot one to Mané who turns past
his marker and Achenteh steams across and just barges him over. The only surprise to me is that there was any
argument about it as asking if this was a penalty is a bit like asking if the
Pope is Catholic or if bears defecate rurally or if Bournemouth fans have chips
on their shoulders.
Now, last season Dusan Tadic was a terrible penalty taker
but he’s up for it again and this time, instead of the horrible dribbler down
the middle, he sidefoots it hard and low and emphatically into the bottom left
corner and it’s 2-0 at half time and happy days and a real chance to put the
whole tie to bed in the second half, let alone the first leg.
Having said that we have a great chance to put the tie to
bed, we then play like drains for the opening fifteen minutes of the second
half. Steve Davis and Tadic pick up
deserved yellow cards for deliberate fouls and our only chance falls to Pellé
who latches onto a poor header from the hopeless Achenteh and lashes over the
bar. Jordy Clasie brings a very quiet
debut to an end by appearing to get a knock and limping off to be replaced by
Juanmi and Shane Long is on for Tadic.
This leaves us with four strikers on the pitch in front of Big Vic and
Davis.
Vitesse have thrown on another Chelsea player in Pantic and
he has a great chance to equalize as Davis is as weak as you can possibly be in
midfield and Pantic is clean through as he fastens onto a header forward. He fires across the keeper and Stekelenburg
gets down to superbly block in exactly the same way that Kelvin Davis wouldn’t
have done.
It really has gone to ratshit and Koeman does not look happy
on the sideline as the game limps on.
With ten to go, Vitesse throw a free kick into the box and it drops to
Rashica who has a free shot but he puts it in the crowd. Rashica isn’t a Chelsea player in case you
were wondering if they did actually have any of their own players.
Jose Mourinho would have been kicking his TV in when one of
his kids, Lewis Baker, plays a shithouse of a pass across the pitch to the
centre back and Long is in and bearing down on goal. As the keeper comes out, Shane does his best
impression of someone who has no idea how to score and just runs into him. The ball falls to Juanmi who makes his first
contribution of the game by standing up a superb cross for Shane to head into
an empty net. 3-0 and job done. There’s jus time for Harrison Reed to come on
for Mané and that’s it.
Firstly, it’s about the result and 3-0 is more than decent,
especially when you consider that on the same night, West Ham Fair Play United
drew 2-2 at home to a Romanian side I’ve never heard of and had their 3rd
player sent off in 5 matches. The
performance however was a bit ropey as we only seemed to turn up for ten
minutes in the first half but it was enough.
Vitesse were as disjointed as we were so you’ve got to assume they’ll be
better in the 2nd leg but really, with a 3-0 lead the job is all but
done.
There was an interesting comment on the BT Sport commentary
that Vitesse had more English players in their starting line up than we
did. We only had Matt Targett but there
was no mention of Caulker, Bertrand, Rodriguez & Forster in the stand, nor
Reed, McCarthy or Ward-Prowse on the bench.
Anything for a good line though eh chaps… I found it quite amusing that Senile Old Goat
Roy Hodgson was in the crowd though he was probably looking at the two Chelsea
lads because that’s how it works.
Apparently he’s told John Stones that he won’t lose his England place if
he moves to Chelsea and doesn’t play.
Ridiculous.
The return leg in Vitesse should be a pretty stress free
occasion as long as we approach in properly.
I can’t see us resting too many players but I expect Steven Caulker to
play and maybe Harrison Reed instead of Clasie who has a bit of a hamstring
issue. So – the season has started and
it’s started with a win and that’s all you can hope for really. I feel that we’re in good shape with the
squad but there’s room for one more centre half. Maybe John Stones will fancy getting a few
games for us instead of sitting on his arse or playing for Vitesse Arnhem.
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