Premier League Match 30 - Southampton 2 Burnley 0

 

Alderweireld Leads an Old Bloke onto the Pitch

 

There is a mood of positivity all around as we play Burnley at home.  The point at Chelsea and the return of all our injured players (bar the perma-injured J-Rod) has left us all very expectant of a win today. 

No one seems to be factoring in that Burnley have already beaten us once this season and that they beat Manchester City last time out.  However, they’re in the bottom three for a reason and it’s our job today to keep them there.  They are playing with spirit though and there’s much to admire.  Sean Dyche appears to be an excellent young manager with a bright future and I hope they stay up though as there are many more deserving candidates for the drop, Sunderland, QPR and Tottenham.

One of them, namely Sunderland, sacked Gus Poyet last week after another abysmal defeat when they yet again, completely gave up and lost 4-0 at home to a Villa side who hadn’t scored away from home since 1987.  They say Gus had lost the dressing room – well it appears he also locked it as they only had 10 players for five minutes at the start of the second half as permanently whinging tosser Seb Larsson was absent.  As far as I know, that’s not been explained.  I feel sorry for Gus, said no one, ever.  Tosser.

The Saints week has seen Eljero Elia declared fit for action this weekend and reports of a positive reaction from Graziano Pellè to being dropped last weekend.  It’s been a week for international call ups and all the usual suspects got all the usual call ups.  Fraser and Clyney are with the England squad but Ryan Bertrand is not.  Roy Hodgson values continuity you see – it doesn’t matter that his best left back option was not in the last squad.  Instead he uses the out-of-form and non-defending left back Leighton Baines, the out-of-form and out-of-fitness and barely playing Luke Shaw and the out-of-the-Arsenal-team, non-attacking Keiron Gibbs.  Harry Kane got in though which is a good thing and it also sounded the death knell of Rickie Lambert’s England career, a highly predictable by product of his ill-advised dream move to Anfield.  Such a shame.  Well played Brendon.

Other than that we’ve had contract renewals for Ryan Seager and Dominic Gape and the usual speculation of players signing for Arsenal and Spurs and United.  Morgan and Sadio Mané to Arsenal, Morgan, Toby and J-Rod to Spurs, Clyney to Man United…. Yawn!  The only new one is Sadio being linked which is basically because he played well last week and Theo Walcott is yet to sign a new contract at Arsenal.  That’s how it works folks!

There is a strange yellow object in the sky as we take our seats in time to hear the team news.  Usually I look on my phone before nearing the ground but I forgot today and head reached the communication dead zone that it SMS before I had chance.  Ronald appears to have had a meltdown and picked too many attackers with Graziano recalled and Shane Long retained…. And Dusan Tadic and Sadio Mané.  It’s looking like a very attacking 4-4-2 formation with Morgan and Steve Davis in the centre of midfield which is Vic-less.  The man mountain has racked up 9 victims this season and one more will see him banned for two matches and with the yellow card amnesty coming up, I guess Ronald wants to ease him though to that.  Burnley are unsurprisingly unchanged from their win against City and it’s like a who’s who of Saints connections with Ings and Vokes on the pitch and Jutkiewicz on the bench.  Other players include Ashley Barnes who always seems a bit of a cock and celebrated big time at Turf Moor when his shot which was destined for Fraser’s midriff, deflected and went in.  They also have George Boyd who looks like a rat and dives around like a twat all the time.  He did however score a great goal last weekend.

Saints start well at a high tempo and are zipping the ball about with Morgan at the fore but haven’t created anything meaningful when Fraser makes a routine clearance and collapses.  There’s been a minor collision with Vokes but there’s nothing in that really.  You can tell that he’s done himself though and that it’s serious and that’ll be it for the afternoon and probably the season.  With the medical team on the pitch, it takes about a minute before someone is making the signal to get the sub on and five minutes later he leaves the field on a stretcher.  Bollocks.  It’s time for Superkelv and here he comes to a hero’s welcome.  This is good – everyone loves Superkelv as a bloke but he’s always given me the shits as a keeper and my mind goes back to when King Artur broke his wrist last season and we had a combination of Superkelv and Gazzaniga in goal for 10 or so games.  It was similar to holding a grenade with the pin out and wondering when it was going to go off.

The stoppage has knocked us back a bit and following a scrappy passage of play we get it back together with Morgan sending Bertrand away down the left and he played a perfectly weighted ball into Graziano who took it on the run and instead of hitting it like Pellè 2014 would have done, he tried to jink inside a defender and the chance was gone.  Burnley have found a way to get at us as well and it’s by long crosses and piling in.  With no Big Vic there’s only Morgan trying to pick up the knockdowns.   Boyd swept a long ball out to Barnes on the left, his cross was knocked down by Ings to Vokes who creamed it and Superkelv managed to block it even though he appeared to be diving the wrong way.  Good save that man and just what he needed.

The corner is cleared to Boyd on the left hand side of the box and he takes a tumble and José Fonte launches himself at him.  Put it this way, I’ve seen them given but Boyd’s reputation for hitting the deck has probably gone against him here. José has to stay on his feet more.  He’s done this a few times now, just trashing through everything and getting the tiniest bit of the ball before he trashes the player.  Sterling against Liverpool at SMS springs to mind.

Saints are looking dangerous when they attack though and Morgan tries a sidefooter from the edge of the box which is on target but deflected out for a corner following good work from Clyney, Mané and Pellè.  A few minutes later we’re ahead as Tadic gets a yard on Trippier (who was having a bit of a mare against Bertrand) and crosses.  Sadio’s header wasn’t going anywhere but dropped to Clyne who lashed it across the goal and via a deflection and an airshot from Pellè 2015, arrived with Shane Long at the back post who sidefooted it over the keeper and into the roof of the net.  Get in.

It should be 2-0 from our next attack as the ball breaks to Pellè 2015 and he manages to smack the bar with it from 5 yards.  So it should be 2-0 but 30 seconds later it’s nearly 1-1 as another deep Burnley cross is knocked back down by Arfield and smacked by Ings, only for Superkelv to take off and claw it away.  This is a quality save and gets the whole ground up an applauding.  Great stuff.

We have one further chance before half time as Tadic gets away from Trippier again and delivers a cross to the near post which Davis meets with a flick header and Heaton does well to back-pedal and shovel it onto the bar and over.  It’s half time and things are going to plan though we do need to tighten up in midfield.

 
The clouds all turn dark and move across the sun and the rain starts to fall.  There is a rumble of thunder and a deep sense of foreboding fills the air.... Big Vic is coming on.  Oh yes, Big Vic is coming on.  He’s replaced Tadic and lines up next to Morgan in the centre of midfield.  We look more solid even before the game has kicked off again.

We’re on the attack almost instantly with Bertrand getting down the left and chipping the ball into Steve Davis who lashes a shot into the side netting.  Davis is having a decent game today having been a bit off recently and is the kind of player that makes the whole team tick when he’s on his game.  The part of Graziano’s game which is still functioning is his hold up play and he expertly brings down an Alderweireld pass on his chest and lays it back to Shane Long who hits one first time from 30 yards which flies just wide.  Heaton in goal was more than a bit worried about that one.

It’s Bertrand again though who sets up the second goal.  His throw to Mané is returned to him, onto Steve Davis who waits for Bertrand to make a run before lifting the ball over Trippier who is still chasing shadows trying to look like a footballer.  Bertrand volleys it across with pace and Shackell feels he has to get something on it but that something is his knee and it bullets past the keeper.  Top finish.  Actually, it’s utter gash.  That’s why you’re going down, as the song goes.

What we need now is a goal from Pellè 2015 and he has another go when we play a short corner and Davis chips one up for Graziano to get his head on but there’s not enough power to test Heaton.  The rest of the game peters out.  Burnley throw on Jutkiewicz for Ings and the new man is lively but no threat and he manages on shot which flies miles over the bar.  They win a free kick when Toby stands his ground under a header and Jutkiewicz runs into him, collapses and gets the decision.  Burnley sub Wallace lines it up like he knows what he’s doing and then shats it wide in Championship fashion. It’s easy as you like and the fans sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Ronald Koeman again.

Final whistle, 2-0, happy days.  Ultimately the second half was easy once Big Vic came on and we had the right blend of attacking and defensive players on the pitch.  Another problem in the first was that Mané, who has been our best player recently, was too deep and too far from the area of the pitch where he makes a difference.  Once we went 2-0 up we handled the game really well and Superkelv didn’t have a save to make in the second half as Burnley managed a couple of long rangers into row Z and that was it.  The first half was a different story though and the veteran did his job with aplomb.  It’s one thing everyone saying that he hasn’t played for the first team for a year – he’s barely played at all as I don’t ever recall him playing for the Under 21’s (as a ‘double age’ player).  Question for you all – who is the oldest player to ever play for Saints Under-21’s? Answer (99% sure anyway) at the bottom...

I have a feeling that it’s the form of Shane Long that made Ronald pick an over attacking formation.  He probably wanted to recall Pellè but didn’t think Long deserved to be left out, which he didn’t.  Big Vic managed to get through 45 minutes without launching anyone and getting a yellow card so no harm done and all is well.  Long was decent again but Graziano is still misfiring somewhat.  Hitting the bar from 5 yards was pretty horrible and though he produced a lot of good hold up play, the lack of confidence was shown with the non-shooting effort in the first half which will give our idiot fringe ‘supporters’ something to kick him over.  After the game he got called up to the Italian squad and the Facebook item that broke the news was bombarded by idiots questioning it and him.  I lose faith in the mentality of some Saints fans when I see things like that.

Talking of losing faith, Fatty Shaw has dropped out of the England squad due to being thick and fat and Hodgson has called up Danny Rose.  Danny Fucking Rose.  Another fullback who can’t defend whilst Ryan Bertrand just rolls on being part of the best defence in the league.  I have decided that Hodgson must think he’s French.  Personally, I’ve spent my life with people thinking I’m French as I have a French surname.  It sounds like I’m joking about Hodgson thinking he’s French but I honestly would not be surprised.  I can find no other logical reason.

Out of the teams at the top end of the league, everybody won this weekend except for Liverpool who lost at home to Man United.  They really had a shocker and ended the game with Lallana being injured, Sturridge being injured (well, there is an England game to pull out of), Gerrard with a 3 game ban and Skrtel about to get the same on video evidence after his stamp on de Gea was missed by the referee.  Be smug about that little lot then Rodgers, you tosser.

As mentioned before – it’s time to focus on Roy Hodgson’s inadequacies for a week or so and hope that Graziano plays and scores for Italy and that no one comes back injured.  There are bound to be more stories of Saints players leaving but the next thing to focus on is our next league game which is away to Everton which will be a sterner test of Superkelv than Burnley provided today.  Let’s do this.

Radhi Jaidi (35)

Premier League Match 29 - Chelsea 1 Southampton 1

Saints Fans Look Terrified as Tadic Steps Up.....

Since we last played and beat Palace at home, we have been on holiday which is very nice for all concerned.  I was one of those slightly alarmed that the players were playing ice hockey but it appears we got by with no injuries to anyone.  From the videos that were produced, no one seemed to be a natural on skates aside from Ralph Kruger of course who you would expect to be good as he was a professional ice hockey player.  I can’t imagine that ice and snow sports were big news in Kenya and Senegal when Vic and Sadio were growing up.

The slow news week with just a few FA Cup games last weekend has been filled with ‘Saints player moving to …. XYZ Big Club’ stories.  After the stress of last summer and how it turned out since, we really shouldn’t be surprised or stressed by this really.  I am accepting that Morgan and Clyney will go but I would take this if we somehow manage to sign Toby Alderweireld.  It’s said that we have a clause that we  can sign him for approximately £7m but that Atletico Madrid can buy back the clause for £1.5m.  Personally, I think that if they buy out the clause that we should then offer £15m to sign him.  He’s that good and would be worth it.  Also, he wants to stay by the sound of it.

The one league match from last weekend saw Spurs beat QPR and move above us in the league and so we’re now 7^th which is where everyone who has made a comment in the media is expecting us to finish.  The FA Cup Semi-Final draw still leaves open the possibility of an Arsenal v Liverpool final which would mean that 7^th place in the league qualifies for the Europa League.  I’d take that right now and with the fixtures we have we should be able to achieve that if not better.  The 10 games we have left start with Chelsea away today and end with Man City away but the other 8 are all winnable with the crunch one being Pochettino and his Tottenham bastards at home.  Our 5 defeats out of 5 record against Spurs needs to end.  Meanwhile, Chelsea managed to play 90 minutes against 10 men in the Champions League and got knocked out by PSG.  There is no way that their exit is going to help us today but the fallout from that game has revolved around the antics of the Chelsea players.  The ‘Respect’ campaign for officials has clearly gone to shit as they had 9 players around the referee when Ibrahimovic committed a yellow card tackle which the ref then deemed as a red.

Ronald has rung the changes a bit with Steve Davis and Dusan Tadic in for Djuricic and Elia who is injured.  The two most significant changes though see Shane Long picked ahead of Graziano to play up front and Toby Alderweireld is back with Maya Yoshida somewhat unlucky to drop to the bench.  The fact that we have a bit of pace up front to play against Terry and Cahill should be interesting but this game is going to be won in midfield with Big Vic and Morgan up against Matic and Fabregas; the former only playing because the FA decided that retaliation is not too bad an offence if you’re retaliating against a tackle which the FA think is not too bad because they didn’t ban the perpetrator.  That last sentence didn’t make sense so it’s perfect for describing the consistency of the FA Disciplinary Commission.  Useless twats.

You of course need to start well against Chelsea at the Bridge and we do the opposite as Big Vic tries a dance move on the ball and loses it.  There’s that horrible moment when you see loads of Chelsea players teaking towards your goal.  Hazard, Willian, Oscar, Fabregas and Diego Costa… shiiiiit!.  Willian eventually smashes a ball across the goal and we clear it for a corner but I’m immediately taken back to St Mary’s when we had to defend like bastards.

Our first attack sees Bertrand win a corner off of Ivanovic who surprisingly, stays on his feet.  Our set pieces haven’t been great this season but this one takes the biscuit as we manage to conceded a goal from it.  Tadic puts over a decent corner but everyone misses it and off goes Hazard.  We get men back but eventually Hazard rolls it intot he path of Ivanovic who thought about diving but instead puts a lovely first time cross right onto the head of Diego Costa who has a free header and can’t miss – which he doesn’t.  Both Fonte and Alderweireld have been attracted towards the left where the cross came from and Costa has peeled into the place where José should be.  Bollocks.

If anyone was expecting us to just lie down and accept our fate then they were to be disappointed as we flew onto the attack with Bertrand and Tadic combining superbly on the left and Tadic getting to the line and puling back to Mané who hit a decent shot from the edge of the box which looked to have Courtois on the wrong foor but he adjusted and blocked it.  Good shot, good save.  The ball isn’t cleared though and is eventually fed back in from the toher side by Clyney, Big Vic backheels it and Tadic turns and curls just over the bar.

Terry and Cahill are getting given the runaround by Sadio Mané and he plays a 1-2 with Big Vic and bursts into the penalty area where he’s trashed by Matic.  There’s a bit of ball in the challenge but he’s taken Mané out first and we’ve actually been given a penalty at the home ground of a big club.  Jesus.  Dusan Tadic has spooted the ball up again and I have painful memories of the two shite penalties he’s taken for us so far.  Up he steps and it’s a horrible one down the middle with no pace on it which hits Courtois’ toe as he dives out of the way before bobbling into the net.  Collective sigh of relief and thank fuck for that.  Come back Rickie Lambert, James Beattie and Matt le Tiss.

Mané is a man possessed and Chelsea look severely rattled.  He skins Matic again and feeds Tadic who shoots and sees it blocked by tht eoutstretched arm of Cahill.  It’s handball all day long as his arm is out at 90 degress to his body but not given.  It’s outside the box but if that’s not handball then what is.  The ball bounces to Mané who tries an overhead kick but he’d given offside in dodgy fashion and then the same happens to Shane Long as Tadic picks him but the flag is straight up again and this decision is 100% wrong.

More chances follow and Tadic tries to pass when he should shoot and two minutes later he gets another chance as Mané puts him away.  This time he drills is low from the left but Courtois gets down well to pull off another decent save.  The keeper is floundering around though a few minutes later as Bertrand plays a 1-2 with Tadic, gets in behind and crosses low and there’s all sorts of carnage as the keeper dives and fumbles and defenders clear it against eachother and Shane Long is in there sniffing but eventually they smuggle it away.

Up the other end and a bit of controversy as Ivanovic tries to move onto a ball in the box and breaks free of the defender and goes down in a heap with his arms flailing everywhere.  The reply shows that Tadic did clip his heel but he’s gone down like the diving bastard that he is and not been given it.  A clear case of a reputation preceding a player.  Serves him right, the wanker.  We have one more attack to survive before half time and Fabregas crosses from the right and Costa gets up well but this time heads over.  Half time and we’ve probably been the better side.  Playing Long and Mané up front has worked superbly.

We start the second half well when Ivanovic thinks about having a dive but instead lobs a shite throw-in across the pitch which is intercepted by Mané.  He’s about five yards from the edge of the box when Matic cynically takes him out with no attempt to take the ball.  Mike Dean clearly goes to his pocket as it’s a yellow card all day long, sees that it’s Matic who is already on a yellow card and decides not to send him off.  It’s as clear a booking offence as you could ever wish to see but not today.  What the fuck is that all about.  Maybe we should have nine players around the ref giving it the large one.  Mourinho on the sidelines immediately tells Ramires to get warmed up. 

So, we have a free kick from 30 yards which is tapped to Alderweireld who smashes it, on target and Courtois takes off to turn it over the bar.  It’s a great effort in the context of our season of shite free kicks and a decent save.  We could have done with it a couple of yards to the left but still a good effort.  We go close again soon after as Tadic appear to be crowded out in the penalty area but with some severe dancing feet he manages to get himself free past 4 players.  With the ball on his left foot and having made the space, he should have smashed it but instead teed up Long whoses effort was blocked.  I can’t understand that having danced past 4 players and with the chance of ‘goal of the season’, he passed it!.

Ramires is on for Matic which is Mourinho’s admission that they clearly got away with that one.  I’m sure he’ll mention that in his post-match interview.  Reagrdless, Ramires introduction sees them turn it up a notch and begin to look threatening.  Next up is Costa heading towards goal and Jose Fonte trying to hold him up.  In truth, fraser should be off his line and taking everything out but he hesitates and Fonte has to deal with it which he just about does.  Costa goes down in time honoured fashion and punches the ground when he doesn’t get given anything.  I have no idea what he is upset about.

Costa then picks up the ball on the left wing and just bulldozes his way towards goal but Jose stays with him and eventually knocks it out for a corner.  Costa decides to act all hard man and gives him a shove for no reason whatsoever.  The corner comes over and Forster paws it away to Ivanovic who though tempted to dive like a little bitch, hammers it across and Costa lunges at it, diverting the ball onto the post before Big Vic hammers it away.

Now it’s one way traffic towards our goal with Costa attempting an overhead kick which skews nicely for Hazard to head wide from an offside position.  In roder to stem the tide, Ronald Koeman sends on Djuricic and JWP for Steve Davis and Tadic on 71 minutes.  It makes no difference whatsoever as Willian crosses and Oscar heads at goal only for Fraser to block as far as Hazard who shoots from a narrow angle only to see Fraser again get in the way.

With 10 minutes to go, Remy and Cuadrado are on for Chelsea and Graziano Pellè is on for Shane Long who has run himself into the ground and been very effective against the pedestrian Chelsea centre backs.  We are still dealing in scraps though so it’s disappointing when Mané lashes wide from a good position and it’s downright annoying when Djuricici wins a free kick on the left wing and JWP crosses it straight to the keeper.

90 minutes are up and you neturally get the feeling that Chelsea are going to be given every opportunity to score.  A move breaks down and JWP has it, only to be completely taken out by Hazard which allowes Azpilicueta to hammer in a shot which Fraser shovels wide of the near post.  The corner comes over and remy hammers in a shot which is blocked by Forster.  Terry’s follow up is also blocked before the shagger smashes the rebound wide.

The four minutes of added time are up and we clear the ball and Pellè challenges Ivanovic in the right back slot and the Serb throws the most ridiculous dive to win a free kick.  He really is a despicable twat.  In it comes and out it goes again and we get the final whistle.

You gotta be happy with that.  Two games against the Champions-elect and we haven’t lost.  It proves that when we have a full squad to choose from then we are a match for anybody.  You still need a manager to pick the right players though and we have that alright.  The front two of Mané and Long were a nightmare for Terry and Cahill to deal with and Morgan and Big Vic meant that Matic was nowhere in a game that he shouldn’t have been playing in anyway.  The return of Toby Alderweireld was massive as well as he is different class.  It’s no slight on Maya Yoshida who has been pretty good this season – it’s simply that Toby is better.  It’s mainly the calmness that he brings and it was a bonus to learn that we have someone who can smack the cover off a dead ball and get it on target.

Post-match, Jose Mourinho tried his best not to moan about the officials but in the end he failed.  He clarly thought that the foul on Mané didn’t warrant a penalty and he thought Ivanovic should have had one.  Oddly enough he didn’t mention the fact that Matic shouldn’t have been playing anyway and should have been sent off on 47 minutes, giving us the second half against 10 men.  Shut the fuck up Jose.  Take a leaf out of Ronald’s book and don’t talk about the referees.  The interviewers tried to get Koeman on the Matic issue but he dead batted it saying that he didn’t like to see players sent off in a perfect illustration of how to diffuse a leading question.  Ronald was understandably delighted with a point and took the opportunity to big up the contribution of Fraser Forster.  He’s not the finished article by any means (as anyone who was screaming at him to get off his line when Fonte was trying to hold off Diego Costa will tell you) but if you want a keeper with great reflexes who stands huge and is a bastard to get the ball past then there’s few better.

Jose obviously has an issue with the ref so let’s talk about Mike Dean.  First off we have the penalty shouts.  Well Matic got the ball but he’d already fouled Mané as he went for it so that was a penalty and you could easily argue that he was the last man and he should have been sent off.  Tadic on Ivanovic was a foul but it serves the cunt right that he fell down like he’s been hit by a train and his past reputation meant he didn’t get it.  Serves him right.  He really is a massive horrible cheating twat as illustrated by his massive dive in the last few minutes when he was defending.  Having already been booked it would have made my year if he’s got a second yellow for that.  Even though he didn’t, he’s still a massive horrible cheating twat and no wonder Suarez bit him.  The other penalty shout was for the Fonte, Costa, Forster issue which was never a penalty in a million years.  Dean bottled sending off Matic at the start of the second half but overall I thought he did pretty well.

With Spurs getting buried 3-0 at Man United we moved back up to 6^th and so on to next week when we have Burnley at home who are coming off the back of a superb 1-0 win over Manchester City.  Fair play to them for that but it of course is a game we should be winning and we owe them one after our crap 1-0 defeat at Turf Moor.  

Premier League Match 28 - Southampton 1 Crystal Palace 0

 

Sadio: What the Fuck Has Just Jumped on Me?

 

A quick turnaround after our poor defeat against West Brom, so quick in fact that if the extra time for Ben Foster’s time wasting had been played, there may have been an overlap.  Tonight we welcome Alan Pardew and Crystal Palace for the second time in a few weeks after they knocked us out of the FA Cup.  I work in Brighton where they are not the most popular team and my latest boss is a Palace fan.  After the FA cup defeat, bragging right are needed and more important than the mythical Champions League.

It has to be said that Pardew has done a decent job at Palace since taking over from Neil Warnock.  He’s brought in a more attacking style of play and has been rewarded for the bold approach to the extent of winning their last 5 away matches.  They have a lot of strikers at their disposal as well as Shola Ameobi.  I would have put Chamakh in the Ameobi bracket but of course he scored twice against us in the FA Cup and he’s injured anyway, as are Championship striker Frazer Campbell and Yaya Sanogo’o.  In addition, Glenn Murray is suspended after picking up two yellow cards against West Ham on Saturday for basically, being old and slow.  They still have Jason Puncheon, Wilfried Zaha, Yannick Bolasie and Dwight Gayle to call on as well as Ameobi so it isn’t going to be easy.

There’s a minor surprise in our starting line up as Djuricic is preferred to Tadic, Steve Davis or JWP who are all on the bench.  Graziano Pellè is given another opportunity with Shane Long again on the bench.  On paper it looks like we’ll be playing a 4-4-2 formation but if Elia and Mané are on the wings then it’s going to look like a 4-2-4.  Aside from those I’ve already mentioned, the bench includes Toby Alderweireld for the first time since we won 1-0 at Old Trafford. We are of course struggling to score at the moment with no goals since last year (almost).  The Daily Echo have been trying to help by issuing arrows for supporters to point at the goal.  The Echo has been better recently but this just made them look like complete twats.

The stated intention to shoot more is evident in the first temn minutes as wel start well and Elia smashes one over from 25 yards.  Next to try his luck is Big Vic who shanks one along the ground and it turns into a great pass to Djuricic who takes his own shot and shites it into the crowd somewhere between row x and z.

Morgan is on set pieces today and his first effort curls in and lands on top of the net.  It always annoys me when vast swathes of the crowd go ‘ooooh’ and applaud.  It should be the Palace fans applauding and ‘corner…. And you fucked it up’ because it’s basically a shit corner.

We have a major scare when Bolasie hooks over an aimless cross.  Up goes Fraser with no one challenging him and manages to drop it behind him.  We are lucky that he manages to fall on the loose ball before Zaha realises that it’s a chance.

Just before half time we nearly force him our first goal since the War when Morgan’s corner drops to Elia who hammers in a shot from close range which is blocked by Speroni.  The ball comes out to the big Italian bloke with the goal drought and he meets it at the same time as a defender and the ball squirts wide.  Typically, the referee decides that Graziano got the last touch and gives a goal kick.  The half ends and we’ve huffed and puffed and played pretty well but again, we haven’t tested the keeper enough.  Palace for their part have been very poor with no threat at all from their front players.

We start the second half badly and Puncheon manages to manoeuvre himself into a shooting position on the edge of the box, past some ropey defending by Yoshida and hammers it and Fraser makes a decent reflex block.  There’s a curious incident a few minutes later when the ball goes through to Fraser and a Palace player goes down in his own half and needs treatment.  The ref gestures to Fraser to kick it so Fraser boots it long and then the ref blows to allow the trainer on.  When we restart we have to give the ball back to Palace which is wrong and it’s nearly doubly wrong as Palace go straight up our end and we have a pinball carnage moment.  Firstly Bolasie gets away on the left and hammers in a shot which Fraser blocks.  José Fonte should clear the ball but he dicks about with it and loses it to Zaha who bobbles a shot across goal which pings off the inside of the post and comes back out to Ward who lashes it high, wide and shite.  We of course should have defended it better but the fact is that the ref should have blown when Fraser had the ball initially and just dropped it to him to restart.

The first substitution sees Tadic come on for Elia who hasn’t been too bad and we eventually settle into the half and Bertrand optimistically fires over before a cross from Fonte is nodded over the bar by Djuricic who had as much chance of scoring with a header from the penalty spot when the cross was behind him, as I had from my seat in the Chapel End.

There’s a decent move on 68 minutes as Djuricic shows great skill in midfield and breaks forward, away from the comedy bearded Ledley, before being trashed by a late sliding tackle by Delaney.  The ref plays advantage and Clyney’s cross towards Graziano is defended into Speroni’s gloves.  That’s a booking all day long but the ref seems to have forgotten the incident, understandable seeing as it was all of 4 seconds ago.  Whatever happened to going back when the advantage didn’t turn out to be an advantage anyway?

We win a corner following a run from Tadic and he swings it over himself, Pellè flicks it on and Yoshida gets a shin on it from 6 yards out but it slides wide of the far post when any decent contact would surely have been our first goal since Edwardian times.

Palace break down our left and Bolasic races into the box before Fonte comes across and does enough to knock him over.  Hardly any Palace players appeal but the way things are going at the moment, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d given it.  It’s kind of shoulder to shoulder but it’s the sort of penalty Chelsea always get given.

Graziano’s number 19 is up on in the 70th minute and Shane Long is on.  It’s superb that the Big Man got a standing ovation as he went off which is exactly the support you need when you are struggling.  Soon after the final change is to bring on JWP for Djuricic.  He’s shown some lovely flashes of skill but I’m still not convinced that he’s a player that we need given his similarity to Tadic.  He certainly needs to bulk up a bit but the positives are that he wasn’t afraid to try and make things happen and also that he got up pretty quickly when he was cleaned out by Agricultural Delaney.

We’re pressing now and Mané wins a free kick on the edge of the box when MacArthur decides to body check him rather than tackle him.  Tadic whips the free kick over the wall and for a second it looks good but it’s just over the fucking bar again.

On 83 minutes it happened.  An event which will be celebrated on this day for years to come and should really be a public holiday in Southampton as we actually fucking scored.  JWP was the creator as he picked up a Mané pass in midfield, drove past a half arsed challenge from Dann and from the edge of the box, he should have buried it but hit it straight at Speroni who made a balls of it, knocking it back out to Sadio Mané who dinked it over the keeper and in for 1-0.  People looked at eachother in the crowd and for a second, no one seemed to know what to do.  Sadio was going through the full repertoire of celebration and dropped to his knees to pray, at which point Big Vic kicked him up the arse.

What we did then was takes 10 steps backwards.  Palace threw on Ameobi for MacArthur but he looked like what he is; no threat and despite a few minor scares and despite us doing nothing going forwards, we held out fairly comfortably.  Puncheon fired in a corner which Fraser punched back to him and then he had the chance to cross again but overhit it in a way that used to drive me nuts when he played for us.  The final action was us giving a free kick in the Palace half and Sadio trying to delay giving the ball back.  Delaney decided it was ok rush over and barge him to the ground to earn the most overdue booking in history. 

Well, it was scrappy as fuck but we got there and nicked the 3 points.  Palace didn’t really threaten the goal much apart from the three shots in 20 seconds in the second half and though we didn’t make Speroni make many saves ourselves, no one could dispute we were the better side – even Alan Pardew who had a bit of a moan about José Fonte’s challenge on Yannick Bolasie which he thought should have been a penalty.  Yes it was a bit robust but after our last home game, I think we’d have been somewhat aggrieved if that had been given.  When Pardew left Saints there were various rumours about an issue behind the scenes so for him to be complaining about José Fonte going though the back of one of his players is amusing.  The worst offences of the day were both committed by Damien Delaney who trashed Djuricic and then did a Matic on Sadio Mané at the end.

 

Morgan Schneiderlin was brilliant today and showed how much we’ve missed him recently.  Sadio Mané also looked our most dangerous attacker and deserved his goal and it undoubtedly made a difference when Shane Long came on as he pulled the defenders around and created more space.  Defenders like Delaney and Dann are ok against a big centre forward but put them up against a smaller quicker player and they’ll struggle.  The dodgy performance today came from Nathaniel Clyne who was pretty awful and has been on a dip since he played for England when he no doubt got all that friendly advice from twats like Mourinho / Rodgers / van Gaal via Chelsea / Liverpool / Man United’s England players.  I have no proof of this aside from last year’s example, otherwise known as the ‘Lallana Principle’.

The downturn in results recently has brought out the keyboard pessimists of course.  I saw one comment which had the opinion that we have far too many average players earning to much per week.  OK, certain players may not be to your liking but you’re disappointed about falling out of the top 4 in the Premier League where we’re competing against sides who have several players on more than £100k a week.  As Koeman has said in interviews – we can’t pay that much at Southampton.  We win games and punch above our weight if we play well as a team – it’s not about individuals for us and we’re not usually going to win many games with moments of individual brilliance.  We haven’t got a Yaya Toure who’s going to bend a ball in the top corner from 25 yards regularly and when we buy a player in the transfer window it’s going to be a loan or a cheap player who can’t get a game elsewhere, rather than paying near on £30 million and £150k a week to sign Wilfried Bony.  Yet, some expect us to be competing with that.  We haven’t had a season as good as this since 1983/84 so for any moaners under 30 – this is the best season we’ve had in your lifetime.

A little break in the season now as the staff and players are off the Switzerland for a few days on a tem building exercise.  The break should ensure that we have Toby Alderweireld fully fit for the next game which is against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge.  They have Matic available after the FA deemed that it’s ok to jump up after a tackle and forearm smash someone in the head if there are mitigating circumstances, having just said that the tackle on Matic that was the mitigating factor, wasn’t worthy of a ban for the perpetrator.  The only team that loses out from this ruling is of course Saints.  The referee in the Matic incident was Martin Atkinson who got stood down for his performance the following week.  He was back today and refereeing Saints and Palace tonight and you know what, on the whole, he was decent.

The Chelsea game is a free hit so hopefully we’ll play with a bit of freedom and as long as we can offer a goal threat, I don’t see why we can’t do something up there.  Sadio Mané and Eljero Elia will be the key up front and I’d be tempted to give Long a start to give them three quick players to worry about.  Maybe bring Graziano on when we’re 2-0 with 20 minutes to go and we need to play longer balls out from the back.

 A goal and a win – happy days are here again!

 

Premier League Match 27 - West Brom 1 Southampton 0

Fucking Get On With It!

Right then. Let’s start a winning streak until the end of the season to make sure we qualify for the Champions League.  Someone might have said this before the West Brom games but could we do it?

This week has seen more players get fit again.  The only issues reported were the ever-injured Jay Rodriguez, Toby Alderweireld and Emmanuel Mayuka.  Jay has been quoted as saying he’ll be back in March so he can’t be far away and Toby should be fit by Tuesday night’s home game.  Mayuka is out for the season so that’s one potential solution to our goalscoring crisis that can’t be considered.

West Brom were going to go down this season from the moment they appointed Alan Irvine in the summer.  A predictably shocking run of form meant that a change was inevitable though and they appointed Red Adair (Tony Pulis) before any other struggling team did.  Predictably, they have improved especially defensively so today we have the immovable object (them) against the resistable force (us).

Our team looked strong on paper with us reverting to a 3 man defence which enables us to play with 2 up front.  Elia was sacrificed to bring Gardos into the back 3 with Bertrand returning to take the place of Targett.  Elsewhere, both Steve Davis and JWP paid the price for their poor performances in the Liverpool game and in came Morgan and Sadio Mané, who turned up on time today.  West Brom lined up in typical Pulis fashion with defensive minded midfield players on the wings in a very solid looking 4-4-2 formation.

Solid is what we need to be as the game starts.  After letting in a goal in 2 minutes against Liverpool it should have been fresh in the players minds.  However, we concede a free kick for absolutely fuck all, just in our half within the first minute, Brunt launches it into the box towards Dawson, Yoshida wins it but only heads it down into a space and Berahino, totally unimpeded by any of the 10 players back defending, lashes it first time into the top corner.  It’s not quite Coutinho class from last week but fucking hell. 2 minutes gone, 1-0 down.

We continued to look a bit of a shambles after goal, getting nothing going up front apart from Maya trying an optimistic shot rom 30 yards which went 30 yards over the bar.  We also looked all over the place at the back.  West Brom were defending deep so Mané had no space to run into and then it started. 12 minutes on the clock and Ben Foster takes an age over a goal kick.  He’s got form for this – in a game at St.Mary’s two years ago, before Pulis, he was timewasting from the 3rd minute and he’s at it again today.  Here's what I wrote then....

Another misplaced pass results in a goal kick and hang on a minute – Foster is time wasting.  He’s pissing about and re-spotting the ball, addressing it and then stopping.  What a fucking wanker.  Webb has noticed and waves him to get on with it which he eventually does.  I’m just dumbstruck – it’s 0-0 and there are 3 minutes gone.

For the record, I have no problem with wasting a bit of time at the end of a game when you’re hanging on to a result but not at the start.  There are people paying £50 a pop to watch football, not to watch a goalkeeper moving the ball from side to side and fuck about for ages.  It’s so easy to stop – referee tells the players before the game that he’ll book anyone who wastes time, be it the first minute or the last – and then he actually does it. Today’s ref however is Phil Dowd and he likes timewasting as it enables the fat twat to get back in position.

This is bloody terrible and West Brom look like the only team likely to score even though they’re not deviating much from the two banks of 4 and keep the shape model.  Something is clearly not right so Ronald decides to make the big call and ditch the 3 at the back.  Florin Gardos is the unlucky one to make way and on comes Eljero Elia.

We immediately look better and Morgan pings a wonderful ball from left to right over the left back and straight to Mané who beats the defender (and a tug on his shoulder) but the ball won’t drop and he lashes it over the bar.  There’s a minor scare as Gardener gets put through by a great ball from Brunt but he seems to shite himself as he gets near the goal and fails to both shoot or find a colleague and falls on his arse allowing José to get in and clear it.

There’s an injury and Fatty Dowd has hurt his knee and is limping around.  He can’t keep up with play when he’s got two working knees but he manages to award us a free kick on the edge of the box to the right which Dusan Tadic chips wastefully straight to the keeper.

As the half draws to a close, Bertrand does well to put Elia away down the left and cross, only for Mané again to lash it over the bar.  Half time comes and this is either going to be 1-0 to them or 1-0 to them.

Big Vic fails to come out for  the second half and is replaced by Steve Davis.  Also going off is Fatty Dowd who obviously fancies a lie down after wheezing about for 45 minutes and so we have a new referee for the second half with 4^th official Graham Scott taking over.  Also off is Saido Berahino who goes down under a nothing challenge from Maya and has to go off as Pulis lets us know his thinking and brings on another defensive midfielder in Mulumbu.

Mulumbu’s first contribution is to try and cover for Morrison who has had the ball nicked off him in the right back position by Elia.  The ball ends up with Tadic who is right on the left hand edge of the box when Mulumbu takes him out.  Morgan is over the free kick and decides to shoot this week and it curls about a foot wide of the far post.

The resulting goal kick sees endless fucking about from Foster and he gets a deserved yellow card.  It’s interesting because Koeman had obviously been in Scott’s ear as 4^th official in the first half and then he ends up refereeing.  You also wonder if Fatty Dowd would have booked him.

We are of course struggling for goals these days, no one more so than Graziano Pellè and nothing sums up our current problems more than what happens next as Bertrand and Elia combine superbly down the wing and Bertrand gets to the line and crosses low.  It’s a tap in for the big Italian but he misses the ball altogether and though a defender obligingly tries to put it in his own net, it goes wide.

With 15 minutes to go, Shane Long comes on against his former club and another disappointing afternoon for Tadic is over.  West Brom then almost seal the game with an identical gtoal to the first one with a free kick lumped into the box which breaks to Fletcher who lashes it over the bar.  Sessegnon is on for the Baggies and he initially does well to get away from Clyne and then is a complete wanker as he gets intot he box and throws himself under no challenge from anyone.  There’s not even any contact with anyone to invite him to go down.  It’s truly pathetic.

We try the West Brom approach ourselves and create a chance as Mané crosses, Morgan heads down and Pellè swings at it but under a challenge succeeds in merely scuffing it through to Foster.  90, 91, 92 and a final chance as Fonte knocks down a cross and Elia lashes wide of the near post from a difficult angle.  Fuck it.  Again.

Well that was shit.  Another game without a goal, another game with it being an uphill battle after 2 minutes and another game where we hardly had a shot on target from a vast majority of the possession.  I totally agreed with the starting line up today but the three at the back without Alderweireld looked all over the place and though we looked better when we went to the usual 4-3-3, we still didn’t make enough of an impression on the West Brom defence.  For their part, West Brom choked the shit out of the game from the 3^rd minute onwards but knowing Pulis, he probably knew that they could comfortably do this against us.  They did their job and fair play to them – the timewasting is annoying but if referees are going to let them get away with it then they’re going to continue to do it.  It’s such an easy thing to stop but then so is diving.  If Sessegnon gets given a 3 game ban for cheating then I guess he won’t be doing it again and nor would anyone else.... but he won’t and so there’ll be people diving about next week as well.

So now we’re down to 6^th and Spurs are breathing down our necks with a game in hand.  The one positive was that Chelsea beat the snake Pochettino’s Spurs in the Capital One Cup Final and so a second Europa League place will revert to the League so 6^th place will mean getting your passport out.  Ronald Koeman is attempting to be realistic and saying that it’s virtually impossible for us to reach the Champions League and he’s right and there really shouldn’t be much disappointment if we fail to make it.  My expectations for this season have always been that it would be fantastic to finish above one of Liverpool and Spurs.  If we do that then we’ll be in the Europa League next season which will be a fantastic achievement.  I think that in order to seriously have a go at qualifying for the big one, we needed a bigger squad, one that had all the current players, plus all the ones who left in the summer.

So, not a great few weeks but we only have a couple of days to wait for another chance to get it right with the visit of Crystal Palace… who incidentally have now won 5 away games in a row.  Bring it on.