Premier League Match 6 - Southampton 2 Crystal Palace 0

Chamakh Can't Even Fool Holloway

Crystal Palace are our visitors today and an opportunity for us to register our first home win of the season and to stay above Manchester United in the league for at least another week.  If we manage to finish above Manchester United this season then we’ll be at least 8^th.  Palace came up through the playoffs last season and on the face of it, do not have a squad remotely capable of staying up this year but stranger things have happened.  Ian Holloway was in this situation about 3 years ago with Blackpool who didn’t appear to have a prayer but only succumbed to relegation on the last day.  It has to be said that Holloway did well to get them that close.  So, he’s a fairly decent manager but he’s also a king size helmet who used to be very funny but now he isn’t and the FA don’t think he is either as he’s already picked up one touchline ban this season and this is his first game back in the dugout which is good as it will give the fans a focal point when singing.  One Palace player we don’t have to worry about today is Jason Puncheon who we loaned to them for the season.  It’s ridiculous that you can borrow players from clubs in the same division but the one good part of that rule is that you can’t play against your parent club because as we all know, he would score against us.

With things going well at Saints, there of course has to be some complete made up shite in the media to keep people irritated.  Sir Rickie is on his way in January apparently which is perfectly logical as he plays every week, is now in the England squad, we don’t need the money and it would leave us with just the one out and out forward which is all you need as we don’t play too many games and no one ever gets injured or suspended.  What also helps is Saints related websites picking up this random made-up piece of garbage and writing articles about it, giving it credence and suggesting it’s true.  When asked about it, a clearly irritated Mauricio spoke of how important the big man was and how they are trying to improve him as a player.  Of course, this got spun as us not being happy with him in some way.  No wonder the Don hates the media and no wonder Mauricio chooses to minimize the chances of being misinterpreted by speaking in his native language.  In other news, Billy Sharp has moved on loan to Southampton B until January, joining Nigel Adkins, Chris Baird and Wayne Bridge.  Rumour has it that they’re changing their colours to red and white.

Non-Saints related news is that the England women’s team played an international at Fratton Park and won 8-0.  I find it very odd that such a big deal is made of the fact that the women’s team train at the world class St Georges Park facility and then they make them play matches at a place where the facilities were built about 100 years ago and haven’t been modernised since.  If we were playing Iraq and wanted to make them feel at home then I can understand it.  Still, England Women are the best team to play there this season.

Saints have one change from the usual which is that Steven Davis is rewarded for a decent display at Liverpool and is included in place of J-Rod who drops to the bench.  Half of our defence is of course ex-Palace with Nathaniel Clyne and Jose Fonte being signed from there.  As Clyne said during the week, Palace like Saints have a decent record with bringing players thorough and giving them a chance which is a good thing and the other good thing about Palace is of course the fact that I work in Brighton so when The Eagles trashed The Seagulls in the championship playoff semi final last year, there were loads of angry Brighton fans at work which made my day all the more fun.

As I said last week, I don’t think Palace are good enough to park the bus and it looks like Holloway thinks along the same lines and has deployed two strikers even though one of them is Chamakh.  Arsene Wenger cannot look back on that day with any pride… the day I thought it was a good idea to sign Chamakh.   Elsewhere, Palace have ex-Skate Joel Ward who scored against us at Fratton Park a couple of years back and some more players who aren’t really good enough for the Premier League like Danny Gabbidon and Dikgacoi, the South African wardrobe who wasn’t good enough for the Championship when we played them.

We have a good chance early on as José Fonte pings a diagonal ball towards Sir Rickie and it drops to Morgan who heads it over the flapping Speroni who has kindly come out into nomansland to make it easy.  Unfortunately, Ward manages to get back on the line and heads it over the bar.

We’ve lined up with Steven Davis on the left and Adam Lallana on the right which means that Davis looks distinctly uncomfortable.  Defensively he looks fine in helping out Shaw but there’s not a lot going forward as there’s no option to go outside the full back.  We’re building better down the right as a Clyne inspired move sees Sir Rickie find Dani Osvaldo in the box who turns the full back inside out before feeding  Lallana, laid back to Sir Rickie, bang, just over, head in hands, groan.  Should have scored really but in my opinion he tried to be too clever and sidefoot it into the corner instead of smashing the cover off it.

Steve Davis does win us a free kick when his cross is handled by Jedinak.  It’s a long way out and not very central but Sir Rickie hits it anyway and even though it’s straight at him and at ankle height, Speroni decides that a two wristed volleyball set is the way to go.  Whatever happened to catching it?  Anyhow, the ball finds its way out to Shaw who takes on a defender who trashes him.  I hadn’t noticed Jimmy Kebe until that point.  He’s about 6 foot 2 and just has a head, arms and two legs which start just under his chin.   He’s crap – why the hell have they signed him?  Moving on and we make a balls of the free kick.

Out of nowhere, Palace break and Chamakh finds himself one on one with King Artur after heading on a Bannan flick.  Out comes Artur, Chamakh tries to go round him, over he goes, whistle goes… oh shit!!!... booked for diving, haaaaaaaa!.  Thank Christ for that.  Artur might have only got a yellow as there were two defenders behind him but from where I was sitting (at that end, the other side of the far post) it looked like a penalty.  You have to say though that the referee was spot on.  Later replays showed that Chamakh, knocked it past Artur, then started diving and then deliberately dragged his foot into the keeper.  What a wanker!  He must have practiced falling like that – shite footballer and a complete and utter wanker.  It was the last noteworthy incident of a poor-ish first half.  Penalty incident aside we had looked untroubled in defence with Lovren and Fonte outstanding and Big Vic seemed to be enjoying and winning the midfield battle.

I wonder if it ever occurs to the people who complain about Mauricio allegedly not being able to speak English that we always seem to play better after the half time team talk.  I guess that logic dictates that he speaks better English than Ian Holloway as we fly out of the blocks with a Nathaniel Clyne charge down the wing.  He loses it but keeps chasing and nicks it back off of Jedinak on the edge of the box and gives it to Steven Davis.  His pass to Lallana is flicked to Dani Osvaldo who turns past the wardrobe and fires it past Speroni from the edge of the box for 1-0.  Great stuff for us but crap from Palace for whom the three players mentioned should all have done better.

Having digested the shock of us scoring from open play, we win the ball back almost straight from the Palace kick off and the ball ends up with Dani Osvaldo charging down the left being pursued by five Palace players like five 70 year old groupies trying to get near Mick Jagger.  As he cuts in one of them chops him down and so we have a free kick to the right of centre about 30 yards out.  Up steps Sir Rickie and curls it over the wall, past Speroni and it pings off the near post and nestles in the net, 2-0, game over. Superb free kick.

At this point it looks like we could score as many as we wanted and when we play with a bit of purpose and go forwards quickly, we look like a really good side.  A move starts on the right with Clyne and Sir Rickie and gets worked right across to Shaw whose cross is headed up in the air to the waiting Sir Rickie who shanks his volley wide.  Later television replays prove that the Southampton and England striker clearly said ‘fuck off’ as it bobbled wide.

As you know, I now sit in the family centre area of the Chapel with a load of kids.  There is some drivel spoken in there but not as much as was spoken by the Chuckle Brothers on a regular basis in the Kingsland.  The game goes a bit quiet on the 70 minute mark and a picture of Chamakh comes up on the big screen and my lad (age 9) looks and says “what’s that haircut doing?”.   I’m not really one for diversifying and talking about non-football related matter but he has a point – Chamakh looks like some sort of exotic parrot thing.  It’s kind of a 3 hairstyles in one thing with balding bits at the front, spiky bits on top and long at the back.  Whatever it is it looks fucking ridiculous and just adds to the image of him as a joke player.

It’s sub time for us with JWP coming on for Steve Davis and then Sir Rickie takes a bow to be replaced with J-Rod.  At the other end we are now determined to keep a clean sheet and Morgan and Jose are throwing themselves in front of shots to prevent Palace even getting a sniff of a goal.  We have the ball in the net once more after Dani wins a corner which is worked short and eventually crossed by JWP.  It’s flicked goalwards by Lovren and bounces off the post and J-Rod turns it in to chalk up his second disallowed goal of the season.  Did the lino get it right… yes he did.  Kevin Phillips comes on for them and the charm offensive he’s been on in the local rag had the desired effect and he got a decent reception which of course gave way to chants about shagging his wife as the game went on.  Never understood the anger towards him to be honest.

Do you remember last year when Cameron Jerome came on as a sub for Stoke and scored a fantastic goal against us to nick a point for them?  Well he’s just come on for Palace and they put together a decent move down our right, Moxey crosses it and Jerome smashes it into orbit in really really shit fashion.  It’ll take a while to get out of default ‘Tony Pulis mode’ I guess.  Final whistle, easy as you like, 2-0 and when I eventually get far enough away from St Mary’s to get a signal on my phone, I see that we are 4^th in the league.  Champions League?…. Lets not even go there.

As you would expect in the post match interview, Mauricio was delighted with the clean sheet and both strikers scoring and Holloway was a knob-piece but not without some redeeming comments.  He said that 2-0 flattered us (it didn’t) but he did say that Chamakh dived (he did).  Chamakh himself opened his mouth and did the impossible and made himself look worse.  He said he was touched and the keeper who should have been sent off.  Utter wanker.  You dived you cheating fuck.  You took a decision to have a penalty and a red card instead of a goal and you got seen for what you are, you cheating fuck.  You dived and dragged your foot to kick the keeper.  To be fair, I don’t think anyone else agrees with him but my message to Holloway is that any other striker they have on the books (Gayle, Phillips, Jerome) would be better than this piece of shit.

Palace look nailed on to go down to be honest.  I don’t understand why promoted clubs take on players who are tried and failed at this level – you’re better off using someone who helped get you promoted than to bring in someone like bloody Chamakh who will be on loads of money and is shite.  He couldn’t score any goals playing up front for Arsenal when he probably had 5 clear chances per game so how many is he going to score playing for Palace? 

Is it a sign of how far off the radar Pompey are that their ex-players hardly get any stick these days?  It’s different when you get a prize twat like Matt Taylor but Joel Ward was largely ignored aside from one brief burst at the start of the second half and Jerome Thomas was completely ignored.  The former had a decent game to be fair and I don’t reckon it registered with many that Thomas had played for the League 2 relegation strugglers – it didn’t register with me until I read about him elsewhere afterwards.  I guess we’re not as obsessed as they seem to think.

Saints are improving but we’re not quite there yet and we now appear to have a problem position on the left hand side of midfield.  With Adam Lallana playing on the right, J-Rod, JWP and Steve Davis have all been given a go on the left with none of them really putting their hand up and cementing a spot in the team.  Will Mauricio give Gaston a run there or maybe even try Guly?  I thought Big Vic had a decent game today until the last 10 minutes when he conclusively proved that Hollywood balls out to the wingers are not his thing.  Dani Osvaldo showed what he can bring to the party and it’s good to see Sir Rickie back on the goal trail.  Of course, they can’t play together though…zzzzz.  We are too pedestrian going forward at times against teams who sit back.  We win the ball and break and then the impetus goes out of it while we pass the ball about and we’re then back to square one and the opposition have 10 behind the ball again.  Up the tempo and we look very good and it would be nice to do this from the start and not from half time.

Next up we have Swansea at home and the stupid bastard 1.30pm Sunday kick off.  Enjoy the game if you are going as unless it pisses down, I’ll be at Stoneham Park in Eastleigh doing my bit for Under 10’s grass roots football.  That’s the grass roots football that the FA and the Premier league care so much about but not as much as they care about a few extra quid from foreign TV markets.

Capital One Cup 3rd Round - Southampton 2 Bristol City 0

8539.... MY ARSE!!!!

I shall start with a rant.

Anyone who has been following me on twitter will have seen me moaning off about the ticket prices for this game, which is when all is said and done, a Carling Cup game against a team from League 1 where will be playing our reserve side.  I’ve got two season tickets and of course, this game isn’t included so for the club to ask £18 for an adult, £14 for a 11-17 year old and £10 for a kid is in my opinion, taking the piss out of loyal supporters and not remotely encouraging first timers to come along.   In business you call it a loss-leader, meaning that you lose a bit of money short term but there is a long term gain – in this case, new supporters who will want to come more often.  Would we really lose any money with having cheaper tickets? – a bigger crowd would maybe mean more food outlets needing to be opened and more stewarding but we’d have a better atmosphere and more match revenue from the megastore and from those food outlets.  It really isn’t rocket science.  I know both teams have to agree on the prices for cup games as the revenue is split but I just don’t understand why clubs want to play in front of an empty stadium.   If you only get the money from your own sales then maybe I could understand Bristol City wanting the prices relatively high as maybe and £8 cheaper ticket wouldn’t have increased their demand that much but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.

 I can’t afford it, plain and simple.  It would be £28 for me and my lad, plus my two daughters would want to go as well meaning an additional £28.  Modern football and modern life has kicked me in the balls on this game as I’ve just had a bill for the car for £300, plus the start of a new school year and all the expense that goes with that.  I would dearly like to go St Mary’s, especially as I’ve not missed a game I’ve been available for since I was 16 (28 years ago) but at those prices it just isn’t happening.  The line in the sand has been reached.  In my opinion it should have been a tenner for adults, a fiver for 11-17s and free for under 11s, which I reckon would have produced a gate between 15,000 and 20,000.  Lets see how many we get turning up tonight, my prediction is about 5000 so we could probably have saved a bit more money by playing at Staplewood.  Rant over.

Mauricio’s team shows 11 changes from the Premier League starting XI but is surprisingly predictable with the one wildcard being the return of Tadanari Lee who has been recently recalled to the first team squad having appeared to be right out of the picture.  The bench includes Omar Rowe and Harrison Reed again who came on to good effect in the Barnsley match and also includes left back Matty Targett and centre back Jason McCarthy.  Targett will no doubt be next seasons back up to Luke Shaw in the same way that Calum Chambers this year has become the back up for Nathaniel Clyne. 

We of course have played Bristol City a few times recently as we’ve travelled through the divisions and we’ve almost always lost to them, usually without scoring.  It is really of no relevance to tonight though as the teams have travelled on slightly different trajectories since the last time we played.  City have a couple of notable players in Jay Emmanuel-Thomas and Marlon Harewood who are both wardrobe sized centre forwards.  Harewood is a journeyman but a danger nonetheless who was playing in the Premier League a couple of seasons ago and Emmanuel-Thomas was last seen playing for Ipswich against us in the Championship and being a right handful.  Sam Baldock is in their ranks as well who I remember from his Fake Dons days before he signed for Fat Sam and discovered that you can’t control a ball that’s 10 foot off the ground when it reaches you.

Nothing much happens for the first 10 minutes aside from Saints possession but Corky pulls out a sloppy one and sells Davis short which allows a City player to nick the ball and Jos has no choice but to trash him and pick up a yellow card for his troubles.  The free kick is one off the training ground that never worked in training as Shorey and Emmanuel-Thomas make a balls of it and it hits Lee and goes for a corner which comes to nothing.

Three minutes later and we’re in front out of nowhere as Maya pings a long ball to fellow Man from Japan Lee who has peeled away to the right wing.  Lee finds JWP whose shot is blocked but he heads the rebound to Gaston who just lashes an unstoppable volley into the net to give the keeper no chance at all.  An obvious reminder of why we needed him to come on in the West Ham game.

Gaston is putting on a bit of a show now and chips a beautifully weighted pass over the last defender to Lee who spins and shoots but the keeper has done well and got right out to him and blocks it away for a corner.  The Gaston show continues as he picks up the ball on the left hand edge of the box and lazily curls a shot just wide of the far post.  Any more laid back and he’d be asleep.  Tadanari Lee is also showing up well, picking up a rare straight pass from Guly and turning the defender inside out for shooting but the keeper got a strong arm up to save it at the near post.

Bristol City are dangerous though as Yoshida lets Emmanuel-Thomas turn when he shouldn’t have done and then managed to get the same treatment as Tadanari had given the defender up the other end.  Emmanuel-Thomas’ eventual shot was at the old Superkelv weak link of the near post but this time he blocked it well.  “He’s let them in before at his near post” says Merringtitus.  No shit Dave.

We nearly score three times in the last minute of the half as Chambers gets down the wing and puts in a shite cross which nearly drops in the net and the keeper shovelled it over the bar.  People were blinking in disbelief when the corner fell to Corky on the edge of the box and he hammered in a left footed piledriver which didn’t threaten anyone’s life in Row Z as it was on target and the keeper parried it out.  Even if it had gone into the stand as usual, there was hardly anyone there to take cover anyhow.  We got a free kick for handball on the edge of the box and JWP’s kick was headed back by Corky and Maya managed to head it over the bar from three yards on the stretch.

Saints start the second half well with Lee linking up with Davis down the left and his cross narrowly avoiding JWP in the centre.  Chambers then got to the line the other side and saw his cross cleared for a corner which JWP swung over and Guly headed it straight down and bouncing up to the keeper.

Something then happened and we went completely to shit and we had 20 minutes of that training exercise of attack v defence – they attack, go close and then we give it back to them to have another go.  Bryan fired in a decent low shot which Davis tipped wide and then Bryan provided a lovely cross from the left and Emmanuel-Thomas showed his limitations by using the wrong foot to try and turn it in at the far post and succeeding in poking it wide.  Reid then curled in an effort which Superkelv was forced to tip over the bar.  Another Emmanuel-Thomas cross fizzed over with no one getting a touch and Saints responded by giving the ball away repeatedly and with metronomic accuracy.  Superkelv spread calm however by coming for the next cross and totally missing it.

Mauricio had seen enough by 73 minutes and brought on Harrison Reed for Tadanari Lee who’s had a good game and J-Rod came on for Guly who hadn’t.  Reed immediately got on the ball and drove at the City penalty area and fed J-Rod who smashed it at the moon.  Reed then cropped up on the other side and curled in a lovely cross which was cleared for a corner.  JWP’s delivery landed right on the head of Big Jos who just planted it into the net to make it 2-0.  It was against the run of the 2^nd half play but the introduction of Reed and Rodriguez had definitely given us the initiative back.  Omar Rowe came on for Steven Davis as the clock ran down but there was only a few minutes left for him to make an impression and that was it.  I switched off Radio Merrington and didn’t freeze my bollocks off walking back across the Itchen Bridge.

Through we go to the 4^th Round despite putting in an absolutely shite performance for all bar the last 10 minutes of the second half.  A very spirited Bristol City can take heart from that performance as they played pretty well as Sean O’Driscoll’s sides seem to do.  In Jay Emmanuel-Thomas they have a player who can do for them now what Nicky Maynard and Albert Adomah did for them in the recent past when they beat us every time.  however, he’s far too good for League 1 and it’s a bit of a mystery to me why he’s there.

What we are looking for in these ‘reserve’ games is for players to put their hand up and demand inclusion in the league side.  Tadanari Lee played well for an hour and it makes you realise what a folly the signing of the Little African Bloke was.  Chun is a better footballer in virtually every respect other than goal celebrations and he has a football brain.  I’m not saying for a second that he’ll ever be a regular starter in the Premier League but he’s a better option than Mayuka.  Steven Davis had his usual busy game in midfield and was one of the few not to go to shit in the second half and of course, Gaston scored a tremendous goal before doing his usual 60^th minute disappearing act.  Harrison Reed looked decent when he came on and the only player who went backwards was Guly who was shockingly awful.

The official attendance was announced as 8,539 or in the words of Jim Royle “8,539?.... MY ARSE!!!”.  If there were more than 6,000 people in the ground then I’m amazed.  I hope that whoever was responsible for pricing that game takes a long hard look at themselves and sorts it out for next time.  I ended up being very pleased that I didn’t go as I’m sure did anyone who gave it a swerve due to the cost.

The draw for the next round is happening on Wednesday and we’re now in the last 16 and I really don’t know what to hope for.  Of course there is more of a chance of progression if we get a home draw and if that happens, it’ll be a test of the powers that be at the club to set the prices correctly.  As far as I’m concerned, anything less than half full and they’ve completely got it wrong like they did today.  Whoever it is, bring it on.

Next up is Crystal Palace on Saturday – Come to me Ian Holloway you West Country village idiot.

STOP PRESS: We got Sunderland away – rumour has it that following Paolo Mussolini’s ever so surprising and unexpected sacking that they may have Gus Poyet in charge.  That’ll be interesting to say the least.  To be honest, its not too bad a draw in terms of a chance to progress but it’s a shite one for travelling fans and a difficult one for Mauricio – 1^st team or Reserves or a bit of both….

Premier League Match 5 - Liverpool 0 Southampton 1

Brendan, You've had a Shocker Mush!

It’s been a relatively quiet week for the mighty SFC as we prepare for a trip to Liverpool who as things stand, are top of the league, a bit like how they always used to be from the mid-seventies to the early 90’s, in that period of time when it was Division 1, 2, 3 and 4, before the Champions League and before Sky Sports and when the Liverpool centre forward would have been honoured to play for England and would never have pulled out only to play the next Liverpool match.  What a massive shock it was when Daniel Sturridge did this.  In the interest of balance it must also be said that Wayne Rooney also pulled the same stunt.

Is this a good time to be playing them?  It seems a strange question as they are top of the league but Suarez hasn’t returned from his cannibalism ban yet and now Phillippe Coutinho is injured.  On paper they look good but not great so why should we be worried?  We shouldn’t be and I just hope the players in the adidas template black kit aren’t beaten before they start like they were last year.  Last year when we comfortably beat them at home, which apparently was their last defeat, their midfield of Gerrard and Allen/Lucas couldn’t live with Morgan and Corky and we dominated the midfield and therefore won the game.  None of the Liverpool central midfield players like tracking runners towards their own goal so we could have some joy there.  Having highlighted reason why we could do well, I still believe that Liverpool will finish in the top 4 this season. 

To the teams and Mauricio has been brave by sticking with the same starting XI with Sir Rickie and Dani up front and J-Rod and Adam on the wings. The only change is on the bench with Corky returning in place of Guly who was driving.  Brendan Rodgers raised eyebrows by picking 4 centre backs with the two in the centre being last years dodgy partnership of Agger and Skrtel, the latter of which doesn’t have a Panini sticker because he’s too scary for kids.  Liverpool have specialised in recent seasons of signing foreigners I’ve never heard of and another one, Aspas is in the starting XI.... sounds like a car.  3pm, come on lads – don’t be overawed!

It’s predictably cagey at the start with Liverpool trying to pass out from the back but getting nowhere because a) the pressing game is back and b) they aren’t good enough to do this.  Having a centre back at right back and what looks like a right footed centre back at left back doesn’t help but I'm sure it's part if Rodgers tactical master plan. An essential part of passing the ball about at the back is the ability of the keeper with his feet and Mignolet appears to be wearing extended oversized clown shoes and always looks like he’s about to trip over himself.  After a bit of Mignolet messing about, Lallana tries a speculative first time lob which is off target.

The pressing game means you will occasionally get caught out with a quick break and so it happened as Liverpool broke quickly down our left before cutting in along the top of the box before it ran loose to Henderson who sidefooted an effort straight at King Artur.  We reply with Sir Rickie trying a long range effort from an angle, which was never going in.

Renault Aspas picks up the ball after a clumsy bit of control by Big Vic and sets off towards goal.  He knocks is miles past Jose Fonte and is never going to get there but by running straight into him, guarantees himself a free kick.  Steven Gerrard hits the free kick over the wall and the King spring to his right and keeps it out one handed.  Brilliant stuff from our resident nutter.

Saints are coming more and more into the game and beginning to dominate the midfield where the combination of Big Vic’s strength and Morgan’s touch and passing is too much for Gerrard who looks off the pace and Lucas who doesn’t appear to fancy it much.  We’re still not creating much though but Sir Rickie has a half chance after Liverpool make a mess of a Lallana cross but the big man swings his left peg at it and only succeeds in spooning it up into the keepers hands.  From our next attack, J-Rod breaks and feeds Dani O who cuts in and wastefully lashes a shite effort wide of the near post.  We have a bit of a scare on the half hour as Sturridge cuts across the top of the box and Lovren sticks a foot out which Sturridge stumbles over.  He’s brushed his knee on the ground which will be enough to keep him out of the next 2 England matches.  He wants a penalty, the Kop wants a penalty, the ref doesn’t give it and we got away with one there.  To be fair, it would have been a soft penalty but it’s exactly the sort of thing you expect to get given against you at Anfield so we’re grateful to Neil Swarbrick.

It seems to spur Liverpool into action though and Moses burst past Clyne and Morgan as he cuts in but he’s then confronted by The King and Moses shot is easily tipped away.  A Sturridge looped header over the top is all that’s left of the half and so we go in goalless.

Brendan Rodgers has clearly had enough of Aspas and replaces him with a spaz as Raheem Sterling comes on.  The change does nothing for Liverpool and Saints are totally on top and in control.  J-Rod pokes a shot at the near post which is saved by Mignolet who is at the centre of things again with his amazing clowns feet.  He pisses about, just about avoids losing the ball to Lallana before playing it to Agger whose pass forward is won by Clyne.  A quick ball to Lallana and a spin turn later he’s through on goal and forcing Mignolet to beat away his shot.

Far from learning from their mistakes, Liverpool carry on and Toure passes back to Skrtel who is under pressure from J-Rod.  His dummy to let the ball go past is brilliant but not so cleaver as he let it run out for a Saints throw.  The quick thrown towards Dani O is shinned behind by Toure and what do they always say about cheaply conceded corners?  In it comes from Lallana and Dejan Lovren loses Agger and heads powerfully across Mignolet and in, despite the efforts of Gerrard on the line who uses the wrong foot to try and clear it and just lashes it into the roof of the net.  To be fair, I think it was already in.

The expected Liverpool onslaught didn’t happen and it was Saints who looked the more likely to score next.  Shaw broke out from left back and fed Dani Osvaldo who cut across the top of the box, jinking past players before curling an excellent low effort which was heading to the bottom corner until Mignolet got across to make an equally excellent save.  Brendan then decides that 4 centre backs aren’t going to win you the game and brings on Enrique for Agger and leaves the Cheese-Before-Bedtime nightmare that is Skrtel on the pitch.  Liverpool flicker briefly as Moses fouled Clyne to win the ball and then dribbled up to Big Vic and was so scared that he crumpled on the floor in a puddle of his own piss.  In fact, Lallana tripped him but it looks better to say that Moses shat himself.  Gerrard managed to keep up with play for a change as the game was stopped and whipped in another decent free kick which King Artur saved well to his left.

On 66 minutes, Mauricio replaced Sir Rickie with Steven Davis but far from being a negative move, it gave us more runners from midfield and but for Mignolet it would have paid off.  Luke Shaw started it off at left back and darted forward receiving a return pass from Lallana.  He somehow bundled through four players on the edge of the box before his right footed shot was parried by the keeper.  The rebound hit Sakho and Mignolet had to save it again before he quickly pushed it away as Davis steamed in.  On later inspection, the rebound from the first save clearly came off of Sakho’s arm and should have been given as a penalty but you won’t see that reported anywhere.

With 15 to go, JWP is on for Lallana and we go into possession mode and pass it about.  There is one scare as a dangerous cross from the right is cleared from just in front of the goal by a sliding Jose Fonte.  It looked briefly that we were in for a horrible 94^th minute let down when Sterling was played into space behind our defence but his touch was so shite that King Artur could just guide it out for a goal kick.  Full time and a fabulous 1-0 win.  Fucking marvellous and as things stand, up to 6th in the league.

Get in there.  As a bloke of a certain age, I grew up with Liverpool being the equivalent of Manchester United in being the team everyone either loved or hated so it’s magnificent to go to Anfield and get 3 points and deserve them too.  Saints have learnt today that they can go to the big boys and win so there’s nothing to be afraid of in this league.  If we go in with a positive attitude we can achieve great things – I’m beginning to sound like Nigel Adkins here.

I have also learned a few things today.  One of which is that we have the best goalkeeper in the country.  In his words he’s just “doing my job” but forget the saves from the free kicks for a moment and just concentrate on the calm claiming of the ball and the confidence which spreads to the defence, a defence which has the best record in the country regarding conceding goals.  As it stands, the first choice defence of Clyne, Fonte, Lovren and Shaw have played 2 and conceded 0.

There are signs that 4 up front is beginning to work.  There will be question marks as long as Sir Rickie and Dani don’t score but I believe in reaching for the stars.  By that, I mean that it might turn out to be brilliant with the two of them up there and you have a duty to try these things.  OK, it might not work and you can’t do it indefinitely if it doesn’t.  For example, Matt le Tissier didn’t get many games for England because that 2nd hand car salesman Venables thought that he couldn’t play in the same team as his lovechild Gazza.  He of course should have tried it as it may have been brilliant but he never did.

Mauricio was typically deflecting of all hyperbole and typically in Spanish which I’m growing to like more and more with each passing interview as it is really starting to piss off fans of other teams. Brendan Rodgers typically just focussed on Liverpool’s shortcomings and highlighted that Luis the Cannibal will be back next week.  I know he’s the opposition manager and the questions are about his team but it would be nice to hear an acknowledgement for the victorious boys from the south coast.  Liverpool are a decent side this year with the first choice XI available but even though Coutinho and Suarez were unavailable today, Rodgers had a mare.  Picking 4 centre backs when the modern game relies on full backs getting forward is just retarded.  We did indeed play them at the right time but Brendan Rodgers made it even more the right time.

Sadly, match of the Day didn’t feature Mark Lawrenson so he wasn’t there to give Saints no credit.  It was still ‘double Liverpool’ on the sofa though with Hansen and Robbie Fowler who both praised the men in black.  Lawro was presumably licking his wounds after predicting a Liverpool win and losing his prediction game horrible to a pure football man who picked a 1-0 win for Saints...er, Usain Bolt.

So, this should serve as a massive confidence boost for the boys ahead of the visit of Crystal Palace next week.  We've proved we can beat the decent sides, not to prove we can find a way to beat teams who park the bus.  Actually, I’m not sure that Palace will park the bus as I don’t think they’re good enough to do that but whatever they do, there's guaranteed entertainment from the Ian Holloway Travelling Idiot Show that will be in town.  It would be nice to be in front and able to chant “Premier League You’re Having a Laugh” at him as he likes that.  Today’s chants for Liverpool are “Can we play you every week” and “Top of the League, You’re having a Laugh”.

Before Palace, the reserves get a run out v Bristol City in the Capital One in front of a crowd of about 6000 given the £18 an adult price.  I’m guessing we’ll see a line up of Superkelv, Calum Chambers, Foxy, Jos, Maya, Corky, Davis, JWP, Gaston and Guly... but whoever is playing... Come on You Reds!

Premier League Match 4 - Southampton 0 West Ham 0

Kevin Nolan appeals for Morgan to be Sent Off

First of all, apologies that this is a bit late.  For my sins I went to watch the last cricket of the season and went to watch England v Australia at the Rose Bowl.  It was completely shit and I froze my arse off as England lost pathetically.  I guess the person who arranges a day / night cricket international in mid September is the same person who arranges a World Cup in Qatar,  Anyway…..

A game against West Ham used to be one to look forward to.  You knew it would be a good game and be fairly open.  You also knew that they would probably be a bit of a soft touch and if you were 100% at it, that you would win.  Times change but Fat Sam doesn’t.  West Ham will be hard to beat, will get stuck right in and it won’t be for the faint hearted.  The will bark, bollock and bite, smash it long and waste half the game taking an age over every restart.

We have our first Sky o’clock kick off time for the season with it being Sunday at 4pm.  I accept that but I don’t accept the fact that our home game with Swansea has been moved to a Sunday with a 1.30 pm kick off.  Despite repeated tweets to the FA, the Premier League and Saints, I have not been given the courtesy of an answer regarding why.  Of course, we all have a good idea why but it would be nice if someone admitted it.   I have no problem with Sunday afternoon kick offs when we are on Sky or BT Sport or whatever but I have a massive issue with these lunchtime o’clock kick offs because it means that I can’t go.  Aside from being pissed off at the financial loss of an adult and a child season ticket that I’ve paid for going begging, it’s a football related reason as well and it’s grass-roots football which is the issue which is one of the things that the FA and the Premier League are supposed to be keen on protecting and improving.  I help run my son’s Under 10 football team and we play on Sunday mornings.  On the Swansea Sunday we are playing at 12.30 so we have a choice of kids football and no Saints or going to Saints and leaving the team shorn of one player and a manager.  It’s not just that though as four or five other lads are season ticket holders as well so I’m sure that whatever happens, the kids team will be very weak or not have enough players.   I’m sure it will affect the opposition team as well.  

Saints v Swansea is on Sunday because Swansea are in the Europa League which is played on a Thursday night so it has a separate day for TV coverage despite it being a competition that no one aside from teams that are in it gives a fuck about.  Play it on a Wednesday when there are no Champions League Fixtures!  The 1.30 kick off is probably down to foreign TV deals and the FA want to sell both a 1.30 game and the traditional (for the last 20 years) Sunday 4pm game.  So FA and Greg Dyke, Premier League and Richard Scudamore - don’t crap on about the importance of grass roots football and blaming foreigners for all our ills and then allow the Premier League to arrange kick off times to suit foreign markets which craps all over grass roots football in this country.  Rant over til next time.  

To today and the weather is nasty and so are the opposition.  Fat Sam in charge and Kevin Nolan as captain with a supporting cast including Joey O’Brien and perennial substitute Matt Taylor.  Andy Carroll has got injured again so he’s not playing and I for one, along with Dejan Lovren and Jose Fonte am pleased about that as no matter how one dimensional he is, he’s a right handful to play against and West Ham will be weaker without him.  On the face of it, West Ham don’t seem to have sold out their allocation which is a surprise as usually they do.  Maybe it’s because some would rather sit and watch the Fat Sam shit football they serve up from the pub or at home, rather than pay a fortune to watch it live.  It’s not just them though, there are gaps all over our areas as well which should tell whoever makes pricing decisions that maybe the line in the sand has been reached for many people.  

Mauricio has shuffled things a bit since our last game with the first choice full backs returning in the form of Clyne and Shaw and some tinkering elsewhere with J-Rod returning at the expense of JWP.  I guess this means that Lallana will be on all the set pieces.

When you play West Ham, as always you want a strong referee who is not going to let them get away with it and referee Marriner watches Noble cynically hack Shaw down in the first couple of minutes and does nothing aside from giving a free kick.  Big Sigh! Here we go.

We then put ourselves under pressure when there should have been none when under no pressure at all, Big Vic attempts to roll a ball out to Clyne on the right and just passes it straight to Jarvis to give West Ham some rare possession in the oppositions half.  It ends up being worked right to Demel and Diame who are against Shaw who has no help at all from either Adam Lallana or J-Rod as Diame tricks his way past before trying to make a hole through King Artur at his near post which isn’t happening.

It’s already been proved that we can’t trust the referee to alter West Ham’s approach so we have one option left which is to score an early goal which will force them to play a bit.  Football breaks out between Morgan, Big Vic and Sir Rickie and J-Rod gets down the left using his pace to burn Demel and lays back an excellent ball to the onrushing Dani Osvaldo near the penalty spot and his sidefooted effort is somehow deflected over the bar by Jaaskelainen.  It’s a great save but he really shouldn’t have been given a prayer of getting anywhere near it.

West Ham have Ravel Morrison in midfield who managed to get Sir Alex to give up on him at Man United.  Fergie said that he has the ability but his attitude is shite, so it’s quite something for him to have given up on a player with enough ability.  So here he is, making his Prem debut for West Ham and he’s one of those knobs who has his first name on his shirt instead of his surname – can’t be too harsh as we have Gaston – and getting right into the West Ham way by trashing through the back of England’s Number 9.  Andre Marriner again produces fuck all.

We get a change presented to us just after that as the nomally reliable Collins falls on his arse and Sir Rickie is away.  He plays in Osvaldo and via a deflection it finds its way back to Sir Rickie whose volley is accurate but shanked a bit and an easy save in the end.  We have more West Ham-isms from the book of Allardyce.  This particular Fat Sam rule is that if there is any contact at all you have to lay on the floor for about 10 minutes as Maiga is doing after a collision with Lovren.  Mind you, I get the impression with Dejan that if he hits you, you stay hit.

Diame manages to achieve what I was beginning to think was impossible as Lallana got away from him and he just trashed him.  He was about as close to the ball as I was in the stand and miraculously, Mr Marriner got a yellow card out.   In a rare bit of ball-on-the-ground-in-our-half, West Ham slide in Jarvis and the flag goes up straight away.  King Artur starjumps his shot away and Nolan chips in the rebound but no drama but it may have wound Nolan up a bit which is always a good thing.

We were then grateful for Marriner being a shit referee as Morgan slid in on Diame and caught him.  There was a bit of ball involved but not much and the way he went in has seen players sent off plenty of times.  The dickhead didn’t even give a free kick though and the flag-twat who was about 5 yards away just stood there with an “I’m only here for throw-ins and offsides” written all over his face.  We got away with one there but the bonus was that it sent arch-wanker Kevin Nolan into a fit of puce-faced pretend rage and finger pointing aggression.  His face goes that colour because his shorts are too tight and all the blood is forced up into his face.

The half ends with ‘Ravel’ firing over the bar and a wonderful bit of football by Nolan when under no pressure, he attempts to chip a pass out to Diame on the wing and puts it about 20 yards over his head.  I guess Andy Carroll may have reached that.

It’s properly pissing down as the second half starts and Saints have obviously had a rocket up their arse and start well.  Big Vic rumbles forward and hits one from 25 yards which unfortunately is straight and Jaaskelainen comfortably pushes it over the bar.  From the corner, Lallana’s delivery is met by a diving Sir Rickie and his header crashes back off the post and we’re all up in arms as Big Vic’s follow up is blocked by what looked like Collins’ arm.  Later replays prove that it hit him in the chest and then brushed his arm so the ref got that one right.

We’re rolling now and it seems like it will just be matter of time.  J-Rod finds space on the right and feeds Osvaldo who weights a perfect pass into Lallana.  It’s crying out to be hit first time but he takes a touch and it’s shite and the ball runs through to the keeper.  There’s another near thing straight afterwards as Sir Rickie pings a superb ball over the full back to J-Rod whose cross is met by Osvaldo whose shot it once again blocked by bloody Collins before Morgan’s acrobatic overhead effort is flicked over the bar by Reid.

Mr Marriner remembers where his cards are as Mark Noble gets a yellow one and then Big Vic clumsily hoofs a Hammer up in the air but it was ‘Ravel’ so he deserved it.  Fat Sam brings on Vaz Te for Maiga who has been playing the role Sir Rickie played for England in Ukraine whereby you have the whole half of the pitch to yourself and are expected to do something with a diet of shite service.  Joey O’Brien then reminds us that Kevin Nolan has a rival for the title of ‘Biggest Wanker in the West Ham side’ by making no attempt to play the ball and smashing through Lallana.  Joey’s main attribute is time-wasting though which he’s truly brilliant at.

A pattern is emerging now and it’s getting annoying after more superb football, J-Rod’s cross is met by Morgan with a kind of scissor-volley which looks in all the way but Jaaskelainen takes off again and tips it round the post.  It’s about time he bloody retired for Christ’s sake.

The Mauricio substitution of rule of “Lallana will come off no matter how well he’s playing” comes into effect and off he goes with JWP replacing him.  Gaston Ramirez remains on the bench and J-Rod remains on the pitch but that bloody goalkeeper is at it again as Sir Rickie gets put away on the left hand edge of the penalty area and bends a shot towards the far top corner which Jaaskelainen yet again manages to push away.  There’s a ball boy behind the goal who I think we should put upfront because it’s remarkable that Jaaskelainen can make brilliant save after brilliant save after brilliant save but every time he gets the ball from the ball boy, he fumbles it.  That’s a strange one and no mistake.

Chambers is on for Shaw as the clock ticks down, well it would do if Winston Reid would let it and stop lying on the ground needing treatment.  He and Jose throw themselves at a JWP free kick and he stays down, then he goes down again a minute later with what looks like cramp but he’s soon back on with no apparent ill effects.  Oh look it’s Matt Taylor and my kid asks me what the chant is that starts up immediately as soon as he appears…. “errrr… he used to play for Pompey, let’s leave it at that”.  And then we nearly fucking lost as after a spell of us not clearing the ball, a cut back from the dead ball line finds Collins about 10 yards out and mercifully, he lashes it miles over the bar.

There’s still time for some penalty shouts in the West Ham box as first Nolan clearly handles for no readily apparent reason and then JWP finds himself with the ball and a Rat with two arms around him.  It’s interesting that probably because he’s 18 he doesn’t go down but if he had, I wonder if Marriner would have given it.  I doubt it though it’s a clear foul whether he goes to ground or not.  Referees that aren’t shit would realise this.  Full time, 0-0.

As predictably as you like, Fat Sam deflected any criticism that may have come his way for the abysmal style of football he employs and picked out the one bad tackle by a Saints player and made a meal of it.  Yes, on another day it could have got a red card and I don’t think anyone would argue about that.  However, when you base your whole philosophy on kicking lumps out of the opposition and stopping them from playing; it’s incredibly rich to moan about one opposition tackle.  It’s interesting though that Match of the Day showed the Morgan tackle but not the O’Brien or Diame efforts on Lallana so the watching nation is left thinking that Morgan is a thug and that’s it.  Would anyone like to put together a Joey O’Brien highlight reel and play that?  There wouldn’t be any football in it, that’s for sure.  But enough of anti-football.

I came away from the game thinking that we really didn’t play very well but we created a lot of chances, especially in the 2nd half but like against Sunderland last time at home, we came up against an inspired goalkeeper.  The sluggish nature of the match can be put down to opposition who came for a point and managed to get away with one.  Both games have been like it was in League 1 at times where teams came to SMS to get a point and had not much ambition beyond that and we’ve failed to break them down.  We learnt then and we’ll learn now.

Individually there were decent performances in a largely untroubled back line but we still have issues going forward.  Big Vic has parts of the game when he looks up to speed and other parts where he just carelessly gives the ball away.  In his defence though, sometimes trying to thread a pass through massed ranks of defenders and deep midfielders is not easy.  Personally I think he’ll get there and his presence in the centre does allow us to get lots of players forward.  I’m no fan of Mark Lawrenson but he did highlight how many players we get into the box and the law of averages says that eventually our luck in front of goal will change.

Up front, they all need a goal.  Dani Osvaldo should have scored today but he played well especially in the 2nd half when he dropped a bit deeper and I certainly saw signs of how he and Sir Rickie can play well together though doubtless there will be many who go overboard and completely blame the fact that Mauricio is trying to play with two strikers in a change from last year – these will be the same people who complained that we didn’t score enough goals at the tail end of last season.  Personally I think the problem is more a lack of width than playing with two strikers.

My overall impression was that J-Rod was poor today but on reflection, he did set up a majority of our clear chances.  The great conundrum is of course Gaston Ramirez who remained benched despite us needing a goal.  For me, there is a potential goldmine with him and Osvaldo and it has to be tried soon if we continue to struggle to score goals.  My money would be on Adam Lallana being ‘rested’ for a game soon.  Maybe when we play Bristol City in the Cup we can try Dani and Gaston together.  In my opinion it would be a good idea to play all the big guns in that game and hopefully get them firing…. Won’t happen though.

Next up we have a step up in class against Liverpool at Anfield where last season we just stood around and watched in awe as they easily beat us.  Hopefully the players will be focussed on getting a result against one of the big boys and I imagine that only one of Dani and Sir Rickie will play and someone like Steven Davis or Jack Cork will come in.  At least unlike today, the opposition will try and beat us.

Lambert and England Parts 2 and 3

Even Rooney Could Have Scored That!

When I started writing this blog in 2009, International week wasn’t really anything I needed to write about, certainly from a Saints perspective.  I didn’t spend loads of time wondering if Papa Waigo was going to get called up for Senegal or if Paul Wotton was going to discover that one of his great-grandparents were Scottish and therefore transport him straight into their first team.  Marek Saganowski was a full Polish international but he couldn’t get into our team whereas Matt Paterson could.  Yes, International breaks didn’t mean much.

Fast forward four and a bit years and it’s a bit different.  We now have players who are full internationals with Poland, Japan, Croatia, Uruguay, Italy, Northern Ireland and Kenya, in addition to England Under 21 and Under 19 players.  Despite all of the aforementioned, nothing means as much as seeing one of our players step out for England as Sir Rickie did against Moldova at Wembley.  Even after scoring with his first touch on his international debut, there was still no guarantee he’d get picked again and no guarantee he wouldn’t join the likes of David Nugent as a one cap, one goal wonder (but without being a Skate bastard).

To the game against Moldova and he’s starting it, probably due to injuries to others.  Rooney had cut his head open after he headbutted an etch-a-sketch in anger after Colleen got bored with trying to teach him how to use it.  Andy Carroll was still lame after the summer season walking up and down the beach in Blackpool and Daniel Sturridge only appears to be fit in between international fixtures, which will probably continue until Luis Suarez is available again.    On paper the line-up looks good with Walcott and Welbeck joining in with our man from the wings and a first choice midfield 3 of Lampard, Gerrard and Wilshere.  Cleverley and Milner are only on the bench so all looks good and so it proved to be.

Sir Rickie had a chance after 5 minutes which he lashed just wide and then settled into a routine of holding the ball up and feeding it to others.  He wasn’t involved in Gerrard’s 20th minute opener but was Johnny on the spot on the half hour when after a spell of penalty area pinball, Walcott hammered in a shot from the right with the useless keeper flapped across to give Sir Rickie a free header into an empty net from 2 yards... lovely!

It got even lovelier on half time with his fabulous ball over the top which allowed Welbeck to round the keeper and score and lovelier still in the second half when another perfectly weighted pass, this time along the ground, enabled Welbeck to score again.  Things took a kind of surreal turn on 65 minutes when he was substituted to protect him for the Ukraine game as the stupidly harsh booking Welbeck had received for shooting about 0.1 of a second after the whistle had blown, had ruled out yet another striker.  The player who came on for him was James Milner so I stopped concentrating for a bit, waking up only to see Milner half volley an extremely difficult chance over the bar from 3 yards with an open goal and no one marking him.  Still, he’s good when we haven’t got the ball which is why he continually gives it to the opposition.

The media after the game has been on the whole very positive about Sir RIckie but there’s always this undercurrent of ‘he’s not really good enough and it’s only because of injuries to others’.   There’s also a bit of ‘he’ll get found out against decent opposition’ which is a theory that anyone who has a quick look at who he scored against in the Premier League last year will quickly dismiss.   The real issue is that he’s played in the lower leagues and hasn’t had it all on a plate and that he plays for Southampton.  None of this undercurrent of negativity would be present if he’d spent his career as a squad player at a massive club playing about 10 games a season.  

So, for the uninitiated I’ll repeat what I said after the Scotland game – in my biased opinion he’s the best striker we have, end of story.  Others are younger and have more potential (Sturridge and Welbeck) but we are talking about the next year here, not three years time.  Virtually all the candidates are quicker than him but none are as good at all the things that a forward actually needs to be good at.... even media darling Rooney.  In my opinion, Sir Rickie is his equal as a goalscorer, equal on pace, has better touch, has better appreciation of others, better in the air, fitter, less likely to get sent off, more intelligent, less likely to shag a prostitute and less likely to give his kids a stupid name.... not that shagging a prostitute makes you a bad striker on it’s own.  In short, he’s more reliable and better.  Also, it can’t be denied that he’s made a lot of fans like the England team again in two matches because of his personality, unlike Rooney who is one of those who just makes people hate it.  I hope that Roy Hodgson thinks the same and you know what, I actually thought for a second that he was beginning to.  However, we’re still a long way away from an England manager being faced with a choice of a fit Rooney and a fit Sir Rickie for one place in the team and the manager picking the Saints man.  Can you imagine the media with Hodgson if he picked Lambert and then we lost?

Rare Footage of an England Midfielder near Sir Rickie.

So, off to Ukraine for the defining moment of England’s qualifying campaign – Rooney is still injured, Welbeck is suspended and Sturridge is being saved for Liverpool’s game at the weekend (which he should be prevented from playing in, in my opinion).  Sir Rickie will be up front on his own and this time he’ll be really on his own as Welbeck’s replacement is anti-footballer James Milner.

The game as you’ll know was a tedious 0-0 Hodgson England special.  Sir Rickie did well in the first half with his hold up play considering he was up against two massive centre backs on his own.  In the second half, England didn’t get any players around him at all so he was mainly trying to control throat high balls hit from miles away and feed them to players who were thirty yards behind him.  Needless to say, he didn’t shine and nor did anyone else but he did get a flick on a throw in to present Lampard with a chance to nod England a 91st minute winner but he headed wide.

I’ve given Roy Hodgson a bit of breathing space since he brought the Saints man into the squad, purely because it showed an ability to think beyond the usual tried and failed players.  However, in other areas his choices are severely lacking.  We ended the game with Milner, Cleverley and Young on the pitch and all three of those are next to useless.   Milner was being defended by many in the media as being underrated or unappreciated – look, he’s slated because people are realising that he’s just crap.  If he actually played football occasionally instead of hardly making the bench at City, then more people would realise.  In addition, having a severe off day in this match were Walcott, Wilshere and Lampard with Walcott having left his brain in England, Wilshere looking like a player who really doesn’t merit the hype he gets and Lampard looking very off the pace as I guess you’re going to do occasionally when you’re 35.  There has to be an opportunity for Nathaniel Clyne to make the World Cup after witnessing the dreadful Kyle Walker play at right back yesterday in place of the woeful-but-not-quite-as-woeful Glenn Johnson.  Much is made of the lack of English players in the Premier League but there are enough good players to replace some of these clowns and I can’t get round the thinking that Hodgson, like countless England managers before him, just doesn’t make the best of what he has.

Hodgson is so negative it’s untrue.  Yes we got a point and our destiny is in our hands so I guess it’s job done but are we improving?  Are we keeping possession more?  Are we building up play and getting players in and around the striker(s)?  No.  Are we playing the default England Away 4-5-fifty yards-1 formation?  Yes we are.  If we qualify, will anything different happen in the tournament – unlikely I’d say.  His comments after the game pissed me off as well.  I know he was defending a pretty woeful performance so he had to say something but basically he said that we were missing strikers and if we weren’t then we’d have scored, which says that he didn’t think his forwards were good enough.  So Rooney or Sturridge or Welbeck would have done better as the only England player in the Ukraine half would they?  I don’t think so.  Ukraine were average at best and I dare say that if a 37 year old Shevchenko had played instead of that Zozulya bloke up front who was one of the worst forwards I’ve ever seen, then we’d have lost.

What we need is Don Nicola Cortese to do Greg Dyke’s job.   The Don would allow Hodgson to get us to the promised land of the World Cup and then sack him and get in a suitable manager for the tournament.  As for Sir Rickie – well he has to come back to Saints and score some goals.  It sounds like Andy Carroll is injured yet again which should keep him in the England squad for the final qualifiers at home to Montenegro and Poland but he has a great chance of going to Brazil if we get there and no one would be more deserving.  

Premier League Match 3 - Norwich 1 Southampton 0

Norwich away - Shit Refs, we always get Shit Refs

Norwich away and memories of some carrot crunching local bumpkin trying to take my head off with a pool cue come flooding back.  I’d committed the crime of not understanding that it was ‘winner stays on’ on a completely empty table with no one around and the other crime of ‘not being from round here’.  Happy days.   This game has been a billed a bit of a ‘battle of the big spenders’ with both clubs not being afraid to speculate to accumulate.  Norwich have brought in a few more than us with Leroy Fer, Gary Hooper, Nathan Redmond and Ricky van Wolfswinkel among those arriving.  Grant Holt has left which means no one can give him shit for the horrible collapsing tree effort he pulled last year to give Twattenburg the opportunity to make it all about him and give a last minute penalty.  As the next few minutes showed though, sometimes cheats don’t prosper as Holt’s kick was saved by the King.

Having said a bit about a dishonest player, let’s talk about the complete opposite.  Dean Hammond has left Saints and gone to Leicester City which is a great move for him.  When the history of this football club is updated it will show that there are just two players who’ve lifted a trophy for Saints as captain and these are Peter Rodrigues and Dean Hammond.  For that alone his status should be assured.  Signed pretty soon after Markus and Nicola came to town, he took over as on-field captain and added a presence that was vital to us in two seasons in League 1 and one in the Championship.  He broke things up in midfield, won headers and played it simple.  He also chipped in with a few goals and would probably have scored a few more but was restricted to a defensive midfield role by Pards and Nigel.   He wasn’t appreciated by many fans as he did the ‘ugly’ things that you need someone to do to be a successful team in League 1 and the Championship.  Some standout goals were the one in the Championship on day 1 versus Leeds, the header against Brighton which he slightly over-celebrated and would up that very strange set of supporters from Sussex and the one at Peterborough away where he ran onto a low corner and expertly clipped it over the keeper first time.   He did have some dodgy moment including wearing a neck warming jumper thing which just looked wrong and he legendarily said “it’s been fucking brilliant” on live TV just as we got promoted to the Premier League.  Though he never played again for Saints after that game, he made a massive contribution to getting us to where we are now.  I managed to blag a ticket to the celebration dinner following the League 1 promotion season and Deano was on my table.  A more down to earth and genuinely nice guy you couldn’t wish to meet.  One thing he told us that evening was that as a 17 year old, he played for Brighton in the last ever game at The Dell.

Slightly less interesting as far as I’m concerned is that a Saints Academy product has just become the most expensive player in the World as Gareth Bale finally moved to Real Madrid for a stupid amount of money.  So – your country in bankrupt, the banks that finance the club have been bailed out by the government and therefore the people and you spend 100 million euro on a left footed, direct-running, shoot-on-sight, good in the air, athletic, very fast attacking midfielder – and you already have Cristiano Ronaldo.  Seriously though, he was very respectful when he played against us last year (despite scoring twice the bastard) and he’s released a nice statement complimenting the club on his departure.  Good luck Gareth.

To the game today and Mauricio has predictably picked Dani Osvaldo to start in place of J-Rod.  The rest of the team is as expected but it’s slightly strange to see Chambers and Fox starting at full backs with the first choices of Clyne and Shaw on the bench.  Two full backs on the bench means no place at all for Jack Cork who in the space of three matches has gone from being one of the first names on the team sheet to not being in the 18.  Why have two full backs on the bench, especially when Clyne can play on both sides?

Away we go and it’s like a training exercise.  Norwich attack, we stop them, give them the ball back and then they have another go.  There’s an early warning as Nathan Redmond picks up the ball after a dodgy JWP touch and leaves him for dead before cracking a shot just wide of the near post.  The first quarter of an hour is horrible with Saints stuck in 1^st gear and giving away free kicks a-plenty to allow Norwich to pin us back.  Following the first of many Snodgrarse sniper incidents and a delivery into the box, the ball lands at the feet of Fer who stabs his shot away but it’s well blocked in trademark fashion by a King Artur starjump and so we survive.

From our first real incursion into the Norwich defensive third, Adam Lallana smashes in a shot from the edge of the box and Bradley Johnson charges it down like a volleyball player going for a block.  He’s charged out with both hands above his head and his arms are outstretched and at chest height as the ball hits both of them.  Great save but a definite penalty.   Oh no it isn’t - Howard Webb has a perfect view from 5 yards away and hasn’t given it.  It’s such a shite piece of refereeing.  Hands in unnatural position – check, ball hits hands – check, deliberate – check, hands moving towards the ball – check, perfect view for the ref – check, inside the box – check, award penalty – no! Wanker.

Dani Osvaldo is struggling to get into the game as he and Sir Rickie interchange positions but he’s attempting a scissor kick in the middle of the 6 yard box when trying to get on the end of a JWP cross but unfortunately for him and us, the cross is nicked away by the last defender and doesn’t reach him.  After our little spell, back come Norwich and they have a half hearted penalty shout of their own as first van Wolfswinkel nods down Whittaker’s cross and it hits Calum Chambers hand about 2 yards away and right in front of his chest and then Morgan superbly tackles Fer as he’s about to shoot.  Whittaker is being a pain on the right and getting forward well as Foxy has no cover in front of him at all.  The Norwich full back gets to the line and then seems to have no clue as to what to do and lashes it across where it flicks off Chambers for a corner.

It sounds like its end to end but it really isn’t.  It’s kind of a dull game but Saints give us hope for improvement on 40 minutes as a JWP free kick drops into a decent area and is half cleared to the lurking Lallana on the edge of the box who creams a left footed volley past everyone including a static Ruddy and sees it smack the post and bounce out.  A great effort and unlucky in complete contrast to our final effort of the half which is a pot shot from Wanyama which is probably still in orbit somewhere over The Wash.  Half time and unlike last time here, we don’t have 11 players and a manager round the referee which is what Howard Webb deserves to be honest.

Saints are the better side in the opening exchanges of the second half and Dani Osvaldo appears to have woken up.  First he controls and rolls a defender before getting a shot away which Ruddy does well to push away.  Then he tries his luck from range but it’s a daisycutter which is a simple enough save for the keeper.

Dejan Lovren is the one Saints new boy who I have absolutely no qualms about and he’s trying to make things happen for us in attack by setting off on a mazy from his own half and getting into the Norwich box before being crowded out.  We are then again denied by officials as a flag goes up for offside when Sir Rickie is about three yards onside but the shot he smacks in is well parried out by Ruddy.

Virtually all of the attacking thrust from Norwich is coming down their left through Redmond who hangs up another cross for the painfully crap Elmander to put wide.  The contrast between Redmond on one wing and Snodgrarse on the other is stark – one player runs at defenders and beats them and plays with a smile on his face, the other looks for any slight contact, dives on the floor when he gets the faintest brush and then scowls at the referee and everyone else.

60 minutes and we’re in the Gaston Zone and it’s time for him to come on and it’s time for our best player and main attacking threat to be taken off as Lallana is replaced.  It’s a bemusing one to say the least when there are at least 3 more deserving candidates to get hooked in Sir Rickie, Dani O and JWP and you could make a case for removing Big Vic or Morgan as well.  Gaston wins a free kick with his first run into the danger area though but Sir Rickie’s free kick is in keeping with the rest of his performance and craps straight into the wall, which in Sir Rickie’s defence, Howard Webb had let stand about 6 yards away.

The one danger man Norwich have then does for us as Redmond cuts in from the left, past JWP and before Wanyama can get anwhere near, hits a shot that rockets along the ground and in at the near post.  At first glance it looks like King Artur should have stopped it but it’s a very good strike and right in the corner.  It is reminiscent of Bale’s goal for Spurs against us last year as it came from nowhere and was as a result of direct running at pace and us not closing him down.

So – what have we got?  Well, we have Steve Davis and J-Rod coming on for the disappointing Morgan and Dani Osvaldo.  The final 10 minutes don’t really see an Alamo siege on the Norwich goal as we’d have liked.  Lovren feeds Sir Rickie who clips a lovely ball into J-Rod whose touch took it through to the keeper and that was about it as we failed to make any impression on the Norwich rearguard.  The final action of the game is for Norwich to break as we commit men forwards and King Artur pulled off a decent save from Redmond before they broke again and Snodgrarse is clean through as Jose goes into Portuguese Man of War mode and hurls himself in front of him and basically body checks him off the ball.  Serves the whiny diving bastard right - It’s a penalty all day long but Webb has another shithouse shocker and doesn’t give it.  Watching Snodgrarse’s ‘chewing a wasp’ face is the one positive I’ll take out of this game.

So, just like last year we come away from Norwich talking about the referee – what a surprise!  Howard Webb is widely held to be England’s best referee but he wasn’t today as he was fucking crap.  It strikes me that Howard doesn’t want to give big decisions in case he gets them wrong and he doesn’t seem to get that not giving something is also wrong.  How on earth he doesn’t give a penalty for Johnson’s handball gets more and more incredible every time you see it.  He also of course should have given Norwich one in the last minute and he bottled that one as well.  He spent the rest of the game giving petty fouls for fuck all in areas of the pitch which don’t matter as much.  I remember his non-refereeing of the 2010 World Cup final and wonder what exactly impresses the referee assessors if he’s the top man.

Interestingly, this comes on a weekend where recently retired referee Mark Halsey has hit the news for refusing to sign a gagging order.  The FA don’t want him to talk about his career but fair play to him that he wants to.  He infamously failed to send of Callum MacManaman for Wigan last year for a horror tackle that he missed which occurred in the first half.  He said that he found out about his mistake at half time from Sky and this compromised his refereeing in the second half when he should have sent off a Newcastle player but felt he couldn’t in the interest of fairness (and he probably felt that he would have got lynched).  I wonder if Howard found out that he should have given Saints a penalty and that meant he didn’t give Norwich one which they deserved in the last minute.  I’d like to think that he didn’t give it because Snodgrarse spends the whole game diving around but the chances are that he had another agenda.

Saints were disappointing today, started slowly and really struggled to chase the game once we went behind.  Shaw and Clyne were missed because of the pace they inject into the side and Mauricio is struggling to find the correct balance in the front 6.  We started today talking about Dean Hammond and that he won the ball and kept it simple.  Victor Wanyama is our Premier League equivalent and he needs to hand over more of the creative responsibility to JWP, Morgan and Adam Lallana once he’s won the ball.  The manager needs to get it right as to what combinations will suit the game in front of him.  Here’s some questions: Can Sir Rickie and Dani Osvaldo play together ?, Do we need J-Rod’s pace in the side ?, Does Morgan and Victor work in the centre?, Does Corky come in for JWP to allow you to play the maverick Gaston... or Guly even?

Overall – today was a very tight game that but for a crap refereeing non-decision and the width of a post, we could easily have won even though we didn’t play very well.  They had Redmond to run at us at pace and cause problems and we had no one like that.  Norwich took their decent chance and that was the difference between the two sides.  When it’s two evenly match sides, it comes down to the fine margins.  It isn’t the end of the world as we were hardly going to go the whole season without losing were we? 

Meanwhile, on FM13, Bedwetter City have won their third game in succession in the Premier League and the manager is up for the Manager of the Month Award.