Capital One Cup 2nd Round - Barnsley 1 Southampton 5

Little African bloke levitates after shock goal !

Between the weekend and tonight there had been further acknowledgement that other people in the game are beginning to sit up and take notice of what's going on here on the South Coast: Sir Rickie got picked for England again with Luke Shaw and JWP getting picked for the England Under 21s, the latter for the first time though Shaw hasn' t actually played for them yet due to persistent injuries when called up.  Calum Chambers was as usual, in the Under 19s.  So, the future is bright but for now, we're going back to the past.

It’s like going back in time 2 years (or is it 200 years) as we visit Championship side Barnsley in the 2^nd Round of the Capital One Cup.  Every year we say the same things about how great it would be to have a cup run and every year it’s the same and we field a team of 14 year olds until we get knocked out.  Under Nigel Adkins, the cup competitions were a waste of time as he was always chasing league success which is fine, but it didn’t make it any easier to take when we got humiliated at Leeds last year in this competition and then followed that up by giving up at half time when we played Chelsea at home in the FA Cup. 

So, this was Mauricio Pochettino’s first Cap One Cup game and he followed suit with 9 changes to the starting team with only Jose and J-Rod remaining.  I thnk we can assume that Jose was only in because Big Jos had a cold and I have a suspicion that J-Rod was in because he was likely to be on the bench on Saturday.  The difference between now and last year though is that we have a much stronger squad with Yoshida, Clyne, Foxy, Corky, Steve Davis, Gaston and Superkelv being first choices for parts of last year. In addition we have Lloyd Isgrove making a first start and of course, the Little African Bloke will get the chance to answer the age old question: “Can he do it in a midweek game in Yorkshire”?.

Barnsley have a couple of familiar players with Chris O’Grady playing up front who I remember playing very well and scoring for Rochdale in their 2-0 win at St.Mary’s in League 1 which was the first part of the double they did over us that season.  That game was two and a half years ago and Rochdale are now in League 2 with the Skates and we are in the Premier League in another example of how quickly things can change in football.  They also have Jacob Mellis who was brought in on loan by Alan Pardew.  He was at Chelsea and got picked for England age group teams because he was at Chelsea – well it must have been that because it sure wasn’t because he was any good.  He’s filed alongside Nicholas Bignall and Jordan Robertson as loan players we had to were really really shtt.  They had Mike Pollitt in goal who is 41 and signed about half an hour before kick off.  The keeper he reaplced must be really bad.

Tonight, to add to the 2 years ago vibe,  I will be old-skool due to a lack of internet stream and be in the company of Merringtitus via Saints Player.  I think I can bear listening to this because Dejan Lovren is not playing so there is less chance of a Dave climax on the radio.  Barnsley are bottom of the Championship and have let in loads of goals in their games so far so it’s looking good as J-Rod puts Gaston through in the first minute only for the enigma to be put off by the approaching pensioner Pollitt between the sticks and roll it wide.  Should have been a goal says Dave and it’s hard to argue with him.

Following our early chance the game settles down into the expected pattern which means all our attacks break down with Gaston or the Little African Bloke losing the ball.  On the quarter hour Barnsley have their first sight on goal as O’Grady flicks on and Pedersen fires wide.  Our inital promise appears to have fizzled out and the Tykes are doing most of the attacking until just before the half hour mark when a decent move forwards involving Fox, Davis and Corky ends with Isgrove laying the ball back (sort of) to Steven Davis who buried it diagonally across Pollitt and into the far corner for 1-0.

It’s now all us and several chances to make it 2-0 are snuffed out with a careless final pass or something pointless like Corky having a shot which ended up in the side netting.  Then J-Rod shows his League form by taking aim from 30 yards and smashing one straight down the keepers throat.  The great question of whether the Little African Bloke was actually playing was answered by Big Dave who went into a lengthy dissection of why he wasn’t touching the ball and was to all intents and purposes, shit.  The gist was that he’s slow on the uptake and has no football brain or as it’s known amongst Saints fans, Bradley Wright-Phillips.  If Ali Dia was George Weah’s cousin then Mayuka must be George Weah’s cousins dog walking friends sisters third cousin twice removed, or as FourFourTwo magazine put him, the 85^th best player in the World.

It’s all Saints as we approach the break with Gaston hooking a Fox cross just wide with an excellent improvised attempt on goal and then trying his luck from 30 yards with a shot that ended up in the Yorkshire Dales.  There is just time for Dave Merrington to assert for the 25^th time, that Gaston should have scored in the first minute.  Half time and 1-0 up and happy days.

The second half began with Saints looking to put the game to bed and J-Rod immediately turned past a defender and then fired wide in a change to hitting it straight at the keeper.  Much to my surprise, the next time he got it after a move involving Corky and Steven Davis, he curled a superb finish into the far corner of the net to make it 2-0 and, you would have thought, killed Barnsley off.  We’ve changed formation a bit with Jay going up front and the Little African Bloke coming over to the right so he could be poor in other areas of the pitch.  Jay was on fire now though and he controlled, turned and smacked a shot against the post which was a precursor to Dawson rumbling up the pitch, picking up an O’Grady knock down and with no-one closing him down, he took a decent pot shot from 25 yards which skidded off the turf and beat the dive of Superkelv.

We responded with working the ball to the Little African Bloke who showed us how they scuff a shot in Zambia before Gaston was hacked over on the edge of the box and his free kick was headed wide by the wall which in this part of the world, means a goal kick.  Barnsley threw on two subs and for 5 minutes they made a right game of it with a couple of near misses but it was one sub too many for them when another forward was thrown on in place of a midfielder so they went to a kind of 4-2-1-3 formation.  Whilst they were adapting, Gaston picked a pass out to the right and amazingly, the Little African Bloke took it in his stride, cut in via a lucky deflection off his heel and buried it past Pollitt before embarking on some impressive gymnastics which makes you wonder about his chosen sport.

With 20 to go it’s substitution time with Isgrove making way for Omar Rowe who Merringtitus immediately compares to Nathan Dyer in that he’s small, fast and nicks mobile phones out of handbags.  It’s a quiet period of the game and so Dave tries to say that Yoshida is decent because he just gets on with it with no fuss but instead he comes across all homo-erotic again and gets all whispery and panting over Maya’s “manliness”.    Soon it’s time for J-Rod to come off to be replaced with Harrison Reed who is a neat passing midfield player who of course is a “young Paul Scholes” though whether he’d have this tag if didn’t have ginger hair is open to debate.

It’s nearly a dream debut for Rowe as Davis passes up the chance to shoot to feed the youngster but his shot is blocked by Pollitt when he really shouldn’t have given him a prayer.  As we enter the 90^th minute it looks like the Little African Bloke is going to score a second after great play by Reed fed the Zambian who was unceremoniously turfed up in the air by McNulty to give us a penalty.  I was expecting Gaston to take it but up stepped Steve Davis to score via Pollitt’s glove to make it 4-1.  With Jake Sinclair coming on for the Little African Bloke, the scoreline was then given an even more flattering sheen a minute later as we won the ball back and quickly advanced to the right hand edge of the box where Gaston dropped the shoulder, rounded Pollitt before lifting a lovely finish into the net to make it five.  There was still time for a totally dispirited Barnsley to cough up another chance but again Rowe was denied by the keeper.

After the final whistle, the Saints players showed their appreciation to the travelling fans by throwing their shirts into the crowd.  I remember Francis Benali once trying to throw his to a team mate but it went off sideways and landed in the crowd.

So, a 5-1 away win against a Championship side, with 9 players rested and another four 18 year old Academy kids getting on the pitch, three English, one Welsh.  Out of the 14 players used tonight, 7 were English and there were 3 other British players, one each from Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.  It’s not bad is it.

The Don had decided not to pay the overtime for the Interpreter to travel up to Barnsley for an evening game so the post match duties were handled by Jesus Perez.  It appears that the Capital One Cup is really a night for the reserves to be brought out.  Other results in the Cup were largely uninteresting but spare a thought for Nigel Adkins who picked a stronger side for Reading than he ever did in the cup for Saints and they got buried 6-0 by Peterborough who are currently in League 1.  Something tells me that that margin of defeat is down to the players instead of the manager.

As I write we have just been drawn at home to Bristol City so expect a similar line-up in the next round but with the squad depth we have now, expect us to get through to the 4^th Round despite Bristol City being one of the sides who we never did terribly well against in the Championship.  Times are different now.  Next up is Norwich City away in the Premier.  I think we may see a few changes for that.

Premier League Match 2 - Southampton 1 Sunderland 1

Di Canio's latest signing seen outside St.Mary's

Following our surprisingly good result last week, the pressure was on to follow it up at SMS against a Sunderland side which has been completely dismantled and rebuilt by Paolo di Canio.   Will he get it right or will it be this years QPR?  Either way, early on is probably a good time to be playing them before they all get bedded in and they had a shite result last week, losing 1-0 at home to Fulham.

Saints had signed Dani Osvaldo at the start of the week and the rest of the week had been taken up with bedwetting over some papers deducing that if Man United don’t sign Baines, they will of course sign Shaw for £10m.  Then there’s the fact that Arsenal haven’t signed anyone so they will of course be signing Morgan Schneiderlin and even the fabulously predictable Lambert to Reading and West Ham came to light again and caused Web Forum and Twitter Meltdown.  Talking of Twitter and meltdown, Saints have decided to put the official twitter hashtag on the seats so instead of saying SAINTS in white seats amongst the red, it now has a # at the start and an FC at the end.  The meltdown was ironically, with people who use the hashtag every day on twitter.  All a big fuss over nothing in my book as come half an hour before kick off, the seats are covered with bums and you can’t see it anyway.  It’s not like we’ve got a half empty ground.. talking of which, Pompey.  They used our own hashtag outrage to have a laugh at us and we really must try hard to think of something we can laugh at Pompey for.

To the teams and 17 of our 18 was the same as last week with Jack Sparrow coming onto the bench in place of the Little African Bloke.  Sunderland had some new players like Giaccherini who I last saw playing for Italy and Altidore who I last saw playing really really badly for Hull City before they were Tigers.  They had some of the usual subjects though like O’Shea, Gardener and Adam Johnson who really looked like he was going to be a special player when he was at Boro but he now looks like he’s going to be another ex-Boro winger, Stewart Downing.

Three generations of my family made its way to our new seats in the family centre Block 20 where we of course, came in from the wrong direction, causing about 30 people to have to stand up and let us in.  I could sense that my Dad was fretting about how difficult it was going to be for him to get out for his occasional mid-half piss.  Let me tell you though that it’s ridiculous how good the view is from there when you consider how much cheaper it is than sitting in the Kingsland Premium bit.  My transfer window wish of Lucy Pinder transferring to the seat next to me would have course happened if some random bloke with his son weren’t there already.  Never mind.

I was digesting my Pinder-less existence as we conceded a corner more or less staright from the kick off which was to be taken by Seb Larsson who I think is a horrible little shit.  Always complaining, always in the face of the referee with a face contorted in rage and also, not a particularly good footballer though it’s easier playing for Sweden when you have Ibrahimovic up front to make you look good.  Anyway, Larsson on the corner and it’s a decent one in the mixer which goes over all our players and lands on the head of Giaccherini, all five foot nothing of him and he easily heads past King Artur who hasn’t got a prayer.  Shit!

Straight from the kick off we can see what sort of afternoon it’s going to be as Sunderland get 10 behind the ball, leaving only Altidore up front who is built like a brick shithouse and is as mobile as a brick shithouse.  I’ve got a wardrobe at home that moves quicker than that.  Anyone who tells you he’s better than when he was at Hull two years ago is either going for wishful thinking or is slightly deranged.  We need to get back into it quickly and it spears we have as Sir Rickie slots J-Rod in and he fires it first time past Westwood…. And the linesman has his flag up, fuck it.  I’m up the other end so couldn’t get annoyed at the time but replays later proved it was very close – his feet were onside but his chest might have been offside.  Sorry but bollocks.  Whatever happened to benefit of any doubt to the attacker.  By the letter of the law the lino probably has this one correct but it’s a complete guess on his part – no one outside of Sunderland would have bitched at him if the flag had stayed down.

We’re being a bit pedestrian but create a few chances with JWP being at the heart of most things.  He puts a lovely cross into Sir Rickie who climbs and heads down in textbook fashion, only for Westwood to get down well and keep it out.  It’s my first real look at Victor Wanyama who is a monster.  When he wins the ball and keeps it simple then he’s brilliant though when the pass get more tricky he does tend to give it away again.  Also being viewed for the first time is Dejan Lovren who would have had Dave Merrington re-adjusting his trousers again after one perfect sliding tackle which dumped Altidore on the deck.  He look s a player does Dejan.

Referee Lee Mason is beginning to get on my tits with a continual stream of ‘nothing much’ free kciks being given against us including one against Sir Rickie for refusing to fall over as O’Shea barged through the back of him.  However, it was that massive thug JWP who was first into the notebook for a savage piledriver of a tackle which was a fraction late.  Should have been a red really ref, you bell end.  On the half hour he at least evened things up as Gardner clattered into Luke Shaw.

Rugby broke out ten minutes from half time as JWP delivered a free kick from the left touchline which nearly went straight in at the back post but only after Jose Fonte had been wrestled to the ground by O’Shea as he went for it.  Unsurprisingly, Mr Mason didn’t spot it.

It didn’t look like we were going to get on terms before half time but Sir Rickie should have done better as JWP put another cross onto his head at the back post but the big mans header was always going over.  Right on half time we had another very legitimate shout for a penalty as O’Shea again went Rugby and pulled Lallana backwards and over but again, Mr Mason missed it, as did the lino who had earlier decided J-Rod was offside by a millimetre.  O’Shea predictably had a go at Adam for diving which given Adam’s tendency to hit the floor is probably justifiable and so with just a terrible scuffed long shot by Fonte to come, we went in at half time, 1-0 down to a Sunderland side who were happy to just soak it up.

You never know when substitutions are made at half time if they are injuries or tactical.  It was obvious that a couple were going to be made as neither Clyney or Jack Sparrow were warming up with the rest of the lads.  As the teams emerged we had non on the pitch and the predicted 2 on the line and so begins the game of trying to work out who’s gone off.  Shaw was obvious… well he got clattered and after looking for and accounting for everyone else, I realised that it was Morgan who had made way which made me think straight away that it was tactical and that Mauricio had decided that Big Vic could handle the defensive midfield side of things on his own.  Also, Morgan had been average at best.  So, the Pirate was up front with Sir Rickie, JWP to the centre of midfield with Big Vic and J-Rod and Lallana floating about in the wide areas.

It was a new formation but the same pattern to the game as Saints were in control with Sunderland limited to very sporadic breaks upfield.  From one such break, Sunderland sub Lo Dove Wank mustered a very poor passback to Artur.  It was GOOOOAAA-FUCK IT time, straight afterwards as Clyne took a quick throw to Sir Rickie who expertly cushioned it back to Adam Lallana who let fly across Westwood who was beaten, only to see the ball curve away and miss the post by inches.

It had to be a goal as Dani Pirate won a bouncing ball on the edge of the box, turned and floated a lovely cross onto the head of J-Rod who does what he does best and headed it straight at the keeper from 5 yards who just stood there and caught it.  Altidore then went wardrobing through the Saints defence but as Artur came out in starjump style, I never felt at any point that he was going to score and so it proved. 

Seb Larsson, who has managed to not get on my tits for the majority of the game then surpasses himself.  A Sunderland player is injured (maybe feigning) in the left back position and Sunderland have the ball.  They attack and then lose it and then we attack before the ball gets fed to Sir Rickie who smashes in a good shot and the bloody eeper saves it again.  Now the trainer can come on.  Cue Larsson and his gnarly faced protest to the referee, presumably about us not putting the ball out.  Fuck you, you little twat – put it out yourself if you’re that concerned.  Mind you, as soon as we won it back the injured party got back up and ran into position.  Lee Mason at last did something right and booked the horrible little scrote.

Along with J-Rod, Sir Rickie was not having his best day in front of goal and another under-pressure heading opportunities went begging as he could only find the goalkeeper from Chambers excellent cross. With Gaston about to enter the fray, my money was on J-Rod being removed but as usual it was Adam Lallana who made way even though he’d had a decent match.  The Uruguayan enigma tried to get involved straight away but Sunderland were breaking the game up and slowing it down before di Canio made a bold substitution, removing Giaccherini (who was their only player to show any control) and replacing him with Connor Wickham.  I know Paolo is a nutter but in my opinion, bringing on a forward is a decent move with attack being the best form of defence and all not.  However, I am not sure I would have taken the goalscorer off.

Dani Osvaldo is goin to be an interesting player for us.  Firstly he took a rather pointless kick at Diakite’s ankle and was rightly booked and then a minute later he went in late on Adam Johnson and could easily (with a more competent referee) have been sent off.  On 88 minutes, he then went up for a header and O’Shea was finally penalised for one rugby challenge too many.  It’ s a hope of mine that we will get better at set pieces this season and JWP delivered a beauty into the box which was met by Jose Fonte who glanced it past Westwood for one of the most deserved equalizers ever.

With 4 minutes remaining there was only one team who were going to win it but we had to settle for a point though O’Shea getting a bang on the nose and crapping on about it to the ref afterwards was kind of funny.  Can dish it out all day but can’t take it.

And so we leave the ground happy with a result that we wouldn’t have been happy with at the start.  If we’d seen Sunderland equalize in the last minute then we would be gutted but this is ok.  It was a deserved point and it really should have been all three and surely would have been but for shite marking in the opening minutes to allow someone as tall as a small child have a free header.  Saints had no real flow to their game but you could see what was happening, particularly in the second half when we upped the pace a little.   There were good signs of things to come from Saints, particularly with Dani Osvaldo increasing the competition for places up front.  You could see how he and Sir Rickie could play together, Adam Lallana had a decent game and even Gaston did well when he came on as all the forward players now know that they have to step up.  In the cold light of day however, it is a poor result as Sunderland were a very poor side.  They may be ok when the side gels together a bit more but they look well short at the moment.  The return of Steven Fletcher cannot come soon enough as they are really going to struggle to score many with Altidore up front.  Home games where they have to make the running may be a tough watch.

Mauricio’s post match press conference confirmed that they were tactical substitutions so fair play to him for that and I have to say, I was impressed by Di Canio’s honesty regarding us deserving a point and more impressed with his politically incorrect ‘midget’ description of Giaccherini.  Let’s face it, Paolo is used to being politically incorrect.

Next up we have Barnsley away in the League Cup or whatever it’s called this season.  In my opinion we should be aiming to do a Swansea and win this competition this year but I still expect experimentation in the line up.  If I may play manager for a second, I expect Davis, Clyne, Fox, Hooiveld, Yoshida, Schneiderlin, Cork, Davis, Guly, Ramirez, Osvaldo with still no place for the Little African Bloke.

So, 4 points out of 6 is decent and leaves us in 4^th or 5^th place in the early league table which of course, is not important at all.  I think that with a little fine tuning, we’re going to fly.  In addition to the three new boys who are all going to improve things, we have the emergence of Calum Chambers and in particular, the development of JWP into a very influential player.  The future is definitely bright.

Premier League Match 1 - West Brom 0 Southampton 1

Just get out of the way!

Optimism abound as we arrive at the first game of the season away at West Bromwich Albion who of course, schooled us twice last year.  We were hopeful though as we were stronger than last year with the arrivals of Lovren and Wanyama and they were weaker with Lukaku back at Chelsea where he belongs and Steve Clarke having signed 48 year old Nicolas Anelka on a free transfer from his Chinese Club who promised him about £500,000 a week when they didn’t have any money.  West Brom have always been one of my favourite opposition teams because of their fans and the good natured banter that they dish out win or lose, so after today, I hope they have a decent season.

There were 8 places in our team that were nailed on and I expected the others to be filled by Clyne, Hooiveld and Guly but I was wrong and so I reckon, was anyone who had predicted it as Calum Chambers, Jose Fonte and James Ward-Prowse started the game.  The inclusion of Chambers and JWP meant that we had 4 English academy graduates in the starting XI, 3 of whom were 18 years old.  In addition to that we had 2 other English players starting in J-Rod and Sir Rickie and another two on the bench in Corky and Clyne.  I’m saying this like we should be awarded a bonus point or something but I’m personally quite proud of that little lot.  The rest of the bench is Superkelv, The Little African Bloke, Big Jos and Steve Davis meaning there is no place on the bus to The Hawthorns for Maya Yoshida, Punch or Guly – who drove the team up as compensation.

Away we go and West Brom immediately don’t look half as impressive as they did last season.  There doesn’t seem to be the pace and power that they had last year so there are 3 points for the taking if we execute properly.  One thing that may help us is by actually putting decent set pieces into the box and JWP is on them.  An early free kick and a couple of corners are put into the right areas which is an immediate improvement on last year. With the pressing game that Mauricio preaches it’s easy to see why Victor Wanyama was brought in. It’s because he presses the opposition on his own and our other 10 players can get on with other stuff

JWP is a central figure as he had the confidence to try a shot from miles out which swerved as it reached Foster but unfortunately was right in the middle of the goal and then his free kick delivery almost brought reward as it caused chaos with both Sir Rickie and Adam Lallana taking swings and not connecting properly before the Baggies cleared it.

On the half hour, Lallana finds space in the midfield after a decent ball from Lovren and feeds Chambers on the right who pulls out a superb cross to the back post where Sir Rickie does his job and heads it across towards J-Rod and Lallana who sticks it in the net.  Flag up, disallowed.  Why?  Lallana isn’t offside.  Apparently he’s given it against J-Rod who has just managed to become the first player in the new offside era (about the last 5 years) to be given offside for interfering with play.  How often does a player get given offside now without touching the ball – lino’s wait to see if the offside player touches it, or they’re supposed to.  Yes he was near the keeper but Foster wasn’t getting the knock back anyway and it made sod all contribution to the goal being scored by an onside player.  Bullshit decision.

West Brom aren’t making much impression on our defence, mainly because they can’t get past Victor the Beast but the ref helps them out by given a free kick for handball by Lallana.  It’s 30 yards out but Dorrans gives it a decent go, lifting it onto the roof of the net but the (incredibly slim looking) King in goal is not bothered.  Dejan Lovren is not giving Anelka a sniff at the moment with some pretty uncompromising play in the centre of defence.  In an effort to be old-skool, I’m listening to Dave Merringtitus on the radio and I swear he’s watching Lovren like normal blokes watch porn.  I’m listening to Dave as my internet feed has died.  I think it’s safe to say that as my broadband is through Sky and Sky have just put an injunction on some streaming sites, that I’m going to find it a bit more difficult this season.  So, welcome back Dave Merrington and his particular way of stating the bleeding obvious.

As half time approached, Lallana plays in Shaw who attacks the penalty area but decides to hit it from 20 yards.  It a decent effort but Foster parries it away comfortably enough.  Half time has been reached and it’s all a bit ‘last season’ in that we’ve dominated the game, created virtually all the chances and yet here we are at 0-0.

The second half starts in much the same way with Saints creating an early chance.  A JWP ball forward is won by Lallana in the air who knocks it back to J-Rod who smacks a decent rising shot onto the bar and over.  Big tough Adam, all 8 stone of him had gone in a little too hard on the giant Gareth MacAulay and so of course it was another Baggies free kick.

The middle section of the half saw West Brom come back into it as Long took time off from diving about to backheel a Ridgewell cross wide.  Two chances were also snuffed out at source as first Chambers blocked Morrison and then Lovren threw himself at Anelka to keep it at 0-0.

The 10 minutes between 60 and 70 minutes is called the ‘Gaston Zone’ as it’s when he will either get substituted or come on and it’s the latter as he replaces Lallana.  Five minutes later and J-Rod is gone to be replaced by Steven Davis which kind of suggests that Mauricio is settling for a point.  Foster is keeping us interested by letting back passes roll under his feet so I guess there’s always a chance.  More subs as Anelka and Long go off, with Long diving over the touchline and into the dugout before appealing to the referee to be replaced by Vydra and Rosenberg.

90 minutes are up and I’m happy to hold on for a draw but Shaw gets the ball on the left and bursts into the box where Mulumbu, possibly still throwing his dummy out over being booked for dissent a few minutes earlier and resplendent with his bald head with a ridiculous clump of blonde hair above his ear, tackles him with the wrong foot and over goes Shaw – penalty all day long.  What a ridiculously stupid tackle that was.  Think Phil Neville v Romania in Euro 2000.  Thanks very much.  Did anyone seriously think Sir Rickie was going to miss this week, no – nor did I.  Bang, bottom left, 1-0 and 32 out of 32 from the spot for the big man.

In the supposed three minutes that were added, West Brom threw the sink at it and a half clearance was thumped goalwards by the forehead of Billy Jones but King Artur plunged right to claw it away – a quite superb save to preserve two points.  The referee – now satisfied that 4 minutes is the new 3, blew his whistle and ended what was our first opening day Premier League win since Egil Ostenstad’s goal gave us a 1-0 win at Coventry back in the last century.

Get in there, what a fantastic result to start the season with especially given that we got humped twice last year by The Baggies.  The performances of the twin tanks, Lovren and Wanyama showed exactly why we paid the money and to balance that out, the three 18 year old Academy boys showed why we spend money on the Academy.  I think most of us looked at Butterfield and Richardson going and thought that we needed to sign a right back in case Clyne got injured or suspended but when you think about it, what are 18 year old Academy players for.  They’re to play when they’re needed and not necessarily play every week.  The exception to this of course is Luke Shaw who is a class above.  With rumours that Danny Fox is on his way, it appears that full back cover will be provided by Nathaniel Clyne’s ability to play on either flank.  Up front, we have Sir Rickie Lambert – enough said!

Mauricio looked unsurprisingly delighted with the result and I loved his (translated) answer when asked about the surprising choices of Fonte, Chambers and JWP.  He looked genuinely surprised at the question and said “why is it a surprise, they’re Southampton players aren’t they?”, basically saying that they’re in the squad, therefore they’re good enough to play.

Steve Clarke predictably tried to paper over the cracks by bitching about the penalty, saying it was soft and all that.  Only one team deserved the win and it was a penalty all day long.  One thing I didn’t realise though was that West Brom’s win at SMS last year was their only win in the last 10 games of last season, which basically means that he’s under pressure and talking bollocks in trying to deflect any unrest.

A brilliant weekend got even better on Sunday when weeks of speculation and denial and ‘he’s not interested in signing for Saints’ ended with the signing of Daniel Osvaldo from Roma for £15 million big ones.  A full Italian international striker who I understand can play right up front or in a withdrawn role which if true, means he can play both with and instead of Sir Rickie should the need arise. There’ll be many fans who assume that this means the Sir Rickie will now be a sub – may I just say ‘bollocks’.  Pochettino has spent the week praising the big man to the skies and talking up his England chances and he’s worked with Osvaldo before.  Do you really think that he thinks they’re incompatible?

Another major bonus is that when UEFA decide to bring in a rule regarding the number of nutters you have to have in your squad, the presence of Osvaldo and King Artur mean that we’re covered.  In addition, we also of course have a player who goes for a shite during a game.  Osvaldo has a long rap sheet of misdemeanours, the most immediately obvious being that he looks like Jack Sparrow but he’ll be popular with our fans as long a he doesn’t do any stupid shit like trying to grab the ball to take a penalty when Sir Rickie is on the field.  Could this transfer window get any better?  Aside from finding that Lucy Pinder has transferred to the seat next to me at SMS, I really don’t think it could.   Again, like Lovren and Wanyama, Osvaldo was linked with traditionally ‘bigger’ clubs but he’s decided to come to us.  Of course, we’ll be paying him shitloads but strikers who make a difference in the Premier League are not going to be cheap.  Love it!

What a brilliant start.

Next week we are at home to Sunderland and Hampshire Constabulary will have to be extra wary with the news that Boruc, Osvaldo and Paolo di Canio will all be in the same vicinity as eachother.  Afterwards the three of them are off on a night out and Guly’s driving.

Dani Osvaldo and translator rock up at Ocean Village

Premier League Prediction 2013/14

9th you say....! I spit on your 9th

It’s time for me to make an idiot of myself again and balance being sensible against a desire to see things shaken up a bit.  Here we go... Premier League Predictions.

1 Chelsea.  Player to watch – Romelu Lukaku, Donkey – Cesar Azpilicueta, Mule – Jon Obi Mikel

It’s all about the return of the special one and he’s playing it cool by saying that Chelsea won’t win it this year.  Who’s he trying to kid?  Their squad is the best in the league by a mile and it’s not as if they have a new manager getting used to the English league.  It’s all in place for Chelsea and the signing of Schurrle,  the return of Lukaku and Essien from loan spells and the departure of Benitez makes them a bit of a scary proposition.   If Lukaku develops and plays well then it gives them that striker that they were missing last year while they waited for Torres to get his thumb out of his arse.  Big JT will also be back in the centre of defence and with Lamps still good for 15 goals a season despite being 46, they’re going to take some stopping.  Mourinho of course will wind people up and he will sulk but we need people like him.  Chelsea Wanker in my office will be unbearable.

2 Manchester United.  Player to watch – Wilfried Zaha, Donkey – Tom Cleverley

I always liked David Moyes at Everton but he’s already got that “Man United Manager” virus which has seen him complain about some sort of conspiracy regarding them having tough fixtures.  As a Saints fan, can I just say “Man City away, Man United home, Arsenal away, Everton away... now shut up”.  Haven’t signed anyone of note despite the world assuming that Baines and Fellaini would arrive from Everton and he’s spend most of the summer talking about Wayne Average Rooney and whether he’s leaving or not.  The gaffe that Rooney was back up to Van Persie was class.  They bid silly money for Cesc Fabregas but the player knocked it back so of course, the vultures have been circling saying that the player would have signed for the departed Taggart.  I feel that rumours of United’s demise have been greatly exaggerated and they’ll be Chelsea’s closest challengers for the title.

3 Tottenham Hotspur.  Player to watch – Roberto Soldado, Donkey – Benoit Assou-Ekotto

This is the year that they stop letting all their fans down and actually achieve something.  Paulinho and Soldado should be excellent acquisitions who will make a difference, especially if they adapt to the English game quickly.  Still the guessing game goes on over Gareth Bale and whether he’ll stay or go and I’m assuming he’ll stay for one more season.  If he doesn’t then it’ll be the usual 5^th place finish.  Their 1-0 win against us at White Hart Lane last season was one of the best examples of ‘one man team’ I’ve ever seen – of course they have other good players but it will be remarkable if they find a regular starting berth for Assou-Ekotto who must have won a professional football contract in a raffle or have compromising pictures of Daniel Levy on his phone.

4 Liverpool.  Player to watch – Phillippe Coutinho, Donkey – Jordan Henderson

Let’s get this straight – I don’t like Brendan Rodgers.  I find him an unbearably smug tosser and I hope he fails horribly but he’s not going to because at the end of the day – he’s a decent manager who is building a very good squad at Liverpool.  OK, he messed up with Borini and Allen last year but the new players he is bringing in now (Mignolet) and the ones  that he brought in in January (Coutinho, Sturridge) are all going to make a difference.  Not only that, he’s getting rid of the players who are not good enough for an aspiring Champions League side (Shelvey, Downing and Carroll) and he also got rid of Reina who has been a great servant but has been pretty ropey for the last couple of seasons.  Still short of a centre back with Carragher retiring (Kolo Toure not good enough) and a strong midfielder to really challenge for the league but I expect them to do better and shake up the Champions League places this season.

5 Manchester City.  Player to watch – Jesus Navas, Donkey – James Milner

Quality over quantity on the signings front with Fernandinho being the most expensive at a ridiculous £30 million.  Jesus Navas will offer them the previously lacking width but it’s up front where I think they’ll struggle with Tevez and Balotelli gone and Jovetic and Negredo coming in.  A new manager of course with Pellegrini and if he’s decent and can spot hat James Milner is not a footballer then they’ll be right in the mix.  Having looked at the list of arrivals and departures, I’ve realised that there’s no real logic in my 5^th place prediction but I’ve done it now so I’ll put it down to ‘just a hunch’.  Mind you, anyone who remembers their performance in the FA Cup Final will think 5^th is generous.

6 Arsenal.  Player to watch – Jack Wilshere, Donkey - Per Mertesacker

When a team continually flirts with relegation (like Wigan last year), eventually it always catches up with them and they go down.  Arsenal have continually flirted with not qualifying for the Champions League for the past 4 or 5 seasons and this is the year that they fail to make it.  You cannot keep selling your best players and bringing in inferior replacements or signing no one when everyone else is strengthening.   Whilst no one decent has left this year, there’s no way Giroud for example, is going to make up for what left to go to Old Trafford at the start of last season.   Ironically, if Wilshere stays fit (big if) they will probably be better than last season but teams like Spurs and Liverpool are taking bigger strides forward and so I predict Arsenal will fall back into the pack and be scrambling for a Europa League spot.  Despite lots of rumours there’s been just the one obligatory French / African youngster signed so far.

7 Everton. Player to watch – Kevin Mirallas, Weak Link – Roberto Martinez

I don’t expect Roberto Martinez to turn Everton to shit straight away so this season they’ll be fine even though he has already signed a few Wigan players like Robles and Kone.  By the sound of it, no one has come in for Fellaini and Baines etc but before the end of September, expect a certain former manager of theirs to come a-knocking.  Nikica Jelavic and Victor Anichebe make up their striking options aside from Kone and this is the weak link though they won’t be short of goals with Mirallas, Pienaar, Osman and Fellaini in midfield.  The defence is decent with Howard, Jagielka and DIstin and I give it two years before Martinez dismantles this and buys a Colombian winger and tries to turn him into a full back.

8 Swansea City.  Player to watch – Wilfred Bony, 2^nd Season Syndrome - Michu

Whilst it’s unlikely that Michu will have the impact of last season, Michael Laudrup has pre-empted that problem by signing Wilfred Bony who has been kicking about in Europe for a few years.  Early signs are very encouraging so it looks like it could be another decent season for the Swans who have Europe to contend with which could test the squad depth.  Newcastle had this issue last year and the arse fell out of their league form but I don’t expect this to happen with Swansea.  Good side and one of the best managers in the division.

9 Southampton.  Player to watch – Victor Wanyama, Sort your life out – Gaston Ramirez

It’s something of a surprise that Saints have only signed two players so far but quality over quantity is probably a good way to go.   Dejan Lovren should make a huge difference to the error prone defence and Victor Wanyama will ensure that Saints win most midfield battles – not that they really struggled there last year with Cork and Schneiderlin being one of the best midfield pairings in the division.  They need consistency, especially against the bottom half sides but if they can score the goals to reflect on the territorial dominance we achieve in most games, then the season should be a successful one.  More goals are needed from the likes of Rodriguez, Ramirez, Lallana and Puncheon as England’s Number 20 can’t do it all on his own.  Still a centre back and a pacy goalscoring winger short in my opinion but aside from that, the spine of the team (Boruc – Lovren – Schneiderlin – Wanyama – Lambert) is very strong which should enable a top 10 finish.  I’ll be there as Saints bid to be this years surprise package with Mauricio Pochettino still doing his interviews in Spanish.

10 West Bromwich Albion.  Player to watch – Matej Vydra,  Not a footballer – Liam Ridgewell

Post-Lukaku, the Baggies have gone for a short term option in Nicolas Anelka and a possible long term option in Matej Vydra who scored loads of goals last year in the Championship with Watford.  They were the best side I saw play against us last year and they have to hope that both these strikers fit into the style of play that Steve Clarke wants to play.  There may be second season syndrome with Clarke but West Brom have enough about them to ensure they won’t be anywhere near the bottom three as the season progresses.

11 Aston Villa. Player to watch – Christian Benteke

Despite a little wobble in the summer where he appeared to want a transfer, Benteke remains and will be a key man again.   I’m glad they’ve managed to hang onto him as it pisses me off when as a mid-table club, you find a really good player who then promptly gets picked off by a big club or Tottenham.  The youngsters that Paul Lambert used all last season will be the better for it and having survived, the club can push on.  I’m sure they’ll be in the bottom half for most of the season but shouldn’t be as near to the relegation scrap as last time.

12 West Ham United.  Player to watch – Andy Carroll, Donkey – Andy Carroll

Well you know what you’re going to get with Fat Sam especially when your priority signing in a 6 foot 4 centre forward who is superb in the air.  I’m of course talking about Andy Carroll.  He’s also brought in a supplier of crosses in Stewart Downing who will do better at West Ham than at Liverpool as it will simply be a case of getting the cross in.  Most of the crosses into the box will still come from James Collins who will be seventy yards away but that’s another story.  I always feel with West Ham that the fans will turn quickly on Fat Sam if things start to go wrong.  They’ve had two seasons of success with him in charge and so the style becomes of secondary importance but should it start to go a bit wrong, Sam will abandon the semi-decent football they play at home and revert to total hoofball and then the unrest could start.

13 Newcastle United.  Player to watch – Joe Fucking Kinnear, Donkey – Mike Ashley

With “best in the business” JFK pulling the strings in the transfer market, Newcastle have managed to sign just the one player who may turn out to be a rapist.  Loic Remy is a decent player though so if he stays out of jail, he should make an impact.  You can’t help but feel that something will blow up there during the season and they have some very good players so in truth, could finish anywhere between 8^th and 18^th. 

14 Norwich City.  Player to watch – Gary Hooper, Player I’d like to punch – Robert Snodgrass

They’re not content to be down near the bottom and like our good selves are trying to get to the next level by signing decent players who you wouldn’t usually expect them to get.  However – decent though van Wolfswinkel and Hooper are on paper, they have to adapt and in Hooper’s case, prove he’s actually good enough, which I have serious doubts over.   Chris Hughton saw them safe in the end last year though there were some serious rumblings over their style of play before they finally got safe last year.  I saw Delia Smith’s drunken half time rant on the TV again the other day which even after all this time, was still crushingly embarrassing. 

15 Cardiff City.  Player to watch – Steven Caulker, Reason to Dislike them – the Red Kit

Cardiff are my prediction for the promoted club who make a decent fist of it.  I like Malky MacKay and fair play to them for trying to buy decent players, rather than makeweights who won’t add a great deal.    Andreas Cornelius up front has to fire though or else they’re going to struggle if relying on the ageing Bellamy to score the goals.  I was impressed by the signing to Stephen Caulker from Spurs who is a player I would have liked at Southampton.  After taking so long and having so many near misses, I would like them to stay up having finally made the big time and if any of the three promoted sides are going to stay up, it’ll be them.  I’m not having the red kit though.

16 Fulham.  Player to watch – Michael Jackson, Player who annoys me – Dimitar Berbatov

Same as last year – boring.  Have replaced a good goalkeeper in Mark Schwarzer with a good goalkeeper in Maarten Stekelenberg and have been sold by Mohammad Al Fayed to a bloke with a ridiculous moustache.  Moustaches don’t make a difference to how a team performs though and nor does a statue of Michel Jackson at your ground which no matter how many times I mention it, never  becomes more acceptable.  If Moustache man had got rid of Michael Jackson I’d have put them about 11^th but as he’s still there they can have relegation jitters all season and as for Berbatov “Keep calm and pass me the ball” – piss off.  With him and Adel Taraabt in the side next season, they might need two balls.

17 Sunderland.  Possible Fascist to watch – Paolo di Canio, Donkey – Vito Mannone

Everyone’s favourite questionable fascist said at the end of last season that he wanted to sign a new team of players and true to his word, he has.  Like with Newcastle, there is a mass of possibilities regarding how the season could go and they could finish anywhere between 10^th and last.  He’s signed some good players (Giaccherini stands out) but you know that at some point of the season, something is going to upset di Canio and then it’s in the lap of the gods as to what happens.  He did remarkably well to keep them up last season and seemed to do it on force of personaility but that will only get you so far.  Good luck to him though and I look forward to a Mourinho v di Canio clash in the press room.

18 Stoke City.  Player to watch – Mark Hughes, Ghost in the Room – Tony Pulis

How do some managers go from club to club, doing an average to garbage job and still find Premier League Chairman willing to give them yet another opportunity to rebuild their reputation.  Yes Tony Pulis had gone stale and probably needed to be replaced and Stoke need to start playing a bit more football but in Hughes they’ve appointed a manager who is only slightly less dour in his approach.  It will be interesting to see how they change.  Can they really become a passing side when you have a collection of players who are between 6 foot 4 and Crouchy?  I can’t see Hughes lasting the season and I can’t see Stoke staying up.  Still the Stoke fans wanted Pulis out and they got their wish.  Careful what you wish for.

19 Hull Tigers. Player to watch – None, Player Who’ll Regret Joining – Tom Huddlestone

They changed their name to Hull Tigers as ‘City’ wasn’t an individual identity.  They may as well have changed it to Hull Nil as that’ll be their identity for much of the season.  As I write they’ve signed a new central midfield in Tom Huddlestone and Jake Livermore from Spurs, the former of which will be decent if he stays fit.  However, they are going to struggle like mad to keep their heads above water and it’s a toss up between them and Palace for last place.  Also, does anyone actually like Steve Bruce ?  They’ve signed Allan MacGregor to play in goal and he is decent but he’s going to need to be a cross between Gordon Banks, Peter Shilton and Dynamo.

20 Crystal Palace.  Knob to watch – Ian Holloway

What a joy it is to have Ian Holloway back in the Premier League where he thinks he belongs.  Fair play to him though as he’s managed to get a very average Palace team promoted even though their main man Wilfried Zaha was being loaned back to them having been transferred to Manchester United in January.  Zaha of course will not be there for them this season and neither for a while will be their top goalscorer from last year, Glenn Murray, who is out injured until Christmas at least (the last I saw).  They seem to have had problems bringing in players to help them survive and they won’t.

Lambert and England - Not a Bad Start

Off you go Wayne

It’s a day after the night before.  We all saw it – Sir Rickie Lambert came on as a sub for England and within two minutes, scored the winning goal against Scotland with his first touch, a thumping header that no keeper on earth would have stopped.  I was watching it on the TV with two of my kids who were both wondering why Dad (Aged 44) hit the roof and was then crying.  Afterwards I explained that it’s because I’m a Saints fan.

Get in!!!

So, where was the last crying episode? If we go back to Cardiff 2003, I can remember crying during ‘Abide with me’ but I also remember the strange spectacle after the game where Arsenal had won and all their fans had left the stadium and we’d lost but forty-odd thousand of us were still in there and singing.  We’re not used to success like the fans of the big clubs are, though not Arsenal now oddly enough.    However, would there have been any Arsenal fans in tears when Walcott scored last night, or United fans when Welbeck did?  I very much doubt it unless the goal had caused their accumulator to go up in smoke.  I had the same feeling when Rickie’s header hit the net as I did when Le Tiss smashed in that goal against Arsenal in the last game at The Dell in 2001. 

The rest of the country now knows all about Rickie Lambert – they now know what we’ve known all along.  They’ve seen the interviews and his down to earth humble nature, his obvious pride at pulling on an England shirt and heard the rags to riches story from the beetroot factory through the lower leagues and they now know that ‘overweight lower league striker’ is not really an accurate description any more.  There have been accusations in the past that players from smaller clubs are not welcomed by the established England players and I thought there was some substance in this when Wayne Bridge broke into the squad whilst at Saints and no one seemed to pass to him.  This was never going to happen with Rickie a) because of this age, b) because of his nature and backstory and c) because two of the major personalities in the England squad, Gerrard and Rooney are fellow Scousers.  The way he was congratulated by the established players when he scored was heartwarming stuff and restored a lot of my lost faith in the England set up and the attitude of a lot of the players.

Not only did he score but he ran the channels well and held the ball up, only giving it away once when he tried an over-optimistic pass.  He will know he should have scored a second when he hit a post from 8 yards but in mitigation, a Jock defender got a toe on the cross so it hit Rickie's shin instead of his foot.  Rickie has of course done himself no harm and in all likelihood will be in the next squad and has given himself a chance of playing in the World Cup in 2014.  He has to stay fit and score goals this season and as far as his competition in the squad goes, firstly he has to prove he’s a better bet than Andy Carroll as there is no way that Roy Hodgson will take both of them.  Usually, we take 4 strikers to a tournament and baring injury, three of these will be Rooney, Welbeck and Sturridge leaving one place between Lambert, Carroll and Defoe.  As far as I’m concerned, he’s better than all of the other 5 and maybe if all 6 are in the next squad then Roy Hodgson will see that as well.

Of course, England have to get there first and the next few games are qualifyers.  Will Hodgson have the balls t give him game time in those or will he resort to type and play Rooney, regardless of his form and fitness.  There are other issues as well, especially in defence where Cahill and Jagielka don’t look like a partnership that inspires confidence.  The much maligned Welbeck and Cleverley started the game appallingly badly but both had a hand in goals which seems to have disguised the fact that they weren’t all that good and then there was my personal favourite James Milner who was encapsulated in the 93^rd minute when England won a corner, sent everyone forward and Milner managed to hit it behind Baines who was our last man, forcing him to race back and knock it back to Hart.  The positives though were the full backs Walker and Baines who I would play ahead of Johnson and Ashley Cole and the return of Jack Wilshere.

That’s for another day – this was a day when it’s all about Rickie Lambert and Saints and their fans.  Moments like this don’t come around too often so make the most of it. 

Yep, still smiling.

Pre-Season Part 3 - Mixed Bag of Friendlies and England's Number 9

Woy Weleases Wickie to Wun Wiot on the Scottish Webels

Having spent two weeks on holiday in a place with no internet connection, it’s been all quiet ont he blog front.  It was like being back in the good old days where I managed to finds out our pre-season results by flicking through an English newspaper in a shop, hoping that I would not be asked to buy it for 4 euros or whatever .  Anyway – now I’m home and all caught up with things so what’s been happening.

Well, first of all there’s been the friendlies.

First decent opposition find us out – Schalke 2 Southampton 0

OK I’m over dramatising a bit here but we played a team who were a bit better than the Spanish waiters we played last week and we were quite comfortably beaten 2-0 with both of the gaols involving defensive shambles from Jose Fonte and Kelvin Davis who between them went “after you, no, after you, oh look it’s that Huntelaar bloke who’s half decent – I wonder what happens if we give him the ball….”

Mayuka might be a footballer after all – Besiktas 1 Southampton 3

It was 0-0 after an even first half, the highlights of which included regular sightings of the Polish Starjump Guy in goal as he repelled a few one on ones in expert fashion.  King Artur was eventually beaten by a rocket 30 yarder into the top corner before we hit back with Sir Rickie finishing from close range.  There were two incidents regarding the Little African Bloke which I mentioned in the heading.  The first came when he curled in a good right footed finish which was wrongly ruled out for offside and the second came when a Sir Rickie ball in front of him was allowed to bounce once before he lashed it into the top corner with his left foot.  There was a rumour that you could have got 5000-1 on him scoring any goal in any match in his Saints career before these two moments.  Joking aside, it was a quite brilliant goal which will hopefully give him a lot of confidence.  Steve Davis then ran through from half way and showed deadly poise and finishing by chipping onto the bar as he was challenged by a daisy on the pitch and several yards of fresh air.  No matter though as we made it 3-1 as a Shaw cross was turned in by fellow teenager Isgrove to finish a decent 3-1 win.

Penalty Shootouts aren’t our thing – Celta Vigo 0 Southampton 0 (Celta win 4-1 on penalties)

As the scoreline suggests, this was not the most exciting of matches even though the Trofeo Memorial Quinocho was up for grabs for the winner.  90 minutes of largely tedious action was illuminated briefly by two bad misses by J-Rod before it was brought to a close by a merciful referee and so we had a penalty shoot out which we duly lost after 7 penalties which is only one more than the minimum you can possibly lose a shoot out in.  With Celta Vigo going first it went Goal (1-0); Guly launches one into orbit (1-0); Goal (2-0); JWP scuffs and saved (2-0); Goal (3-0); Steve Davis scores (3-1); Goal  (4-1)– game over with two Saints players being denied the opportunity to make fools of themselves.  We had a chance of silverware and we blew it prompting Martin Samuel to write a piece in the Daily Bastard about Cortese kicking his cat.  I may have made up that last bit.

We’re gonna score one more than you – Southampton 4 Real Sociedad 3

The prices were more reasonable than usual but still not cheap and so only 8,000 odd turned up to watch us play against the side who finished 4^th in La Liga which is in fact, the 2^nd highest position that anyone other than Barca or Real can finish in.  Sir Rickie tried a 50 yarder before Boruc made another excellent block and the entertainment continued as Adam Lallana latched onto a Sir Rickie pass and smashed in the first from the edge of the box.  We had three great chances to make it 2-0 but Vic the Impaler was too slow to get his shot away when put through which was bookended by two J-Rod chances which he hit at the keeper (surprise!) and then hit the bar from 6 yards.  The good work so far was undone as a cross bobbled across from our right and Morgan and Shaw seemed to leave it to eachother and Sociedad had an embarrassingly easy equalizer.  We were straight back in front though as Vic picked out Morgan who lifted it past the keeper with his right before cushioning the dropping ball into the empty net with his left to make it 2-1 and this bit of good work was immediately undone as Chambers allowed his winger to have a free shot across King Artur to make it 2-2.  It was the Spaniards turn to defend like 8 year olds as Adam bounced a free kick in from out right and no-one picked up the 6 foot 4 Dutchman who just ran into the ball and headed it in to make it 3-2 at half time.  It was all square again soon after half time as we allowed on time Arsenal forward Carlos Vela to run through our entire team and feed a winger who obviously knew that if Kelvin Davis is in goal then you can bobble at the near post and have a 99% chance of scoring.  90 minutes were gone when Punch had a shot blocked and Isgrove’s mis-hit fortuitously fell back to Punch who poked it into the net to give us a satisfying result at the end of a game which was encouraging from an attacking point of view but completely terrifying from a defensive one.  In addition, Luke Shaw got injured.

There was also some transfer activity but it was of the outgoing variety with Ryan Dickson finding a home at Colchester, Ben Reevs joining the Fake Dons, Chappers joining Millwall, Frazer Richardson joining Middlesbrough and us terminating the contract of Steve de Ridder who disappeared back to Holland where he found that Utrecht didn’t know that he’s been rubbish for two years.  We still have Dean Hammond and Billy Sharp on the books and I would assume both will be off before the transfer window is done.  Billy has been linked with a few Championship clubs and Celtic whereas Deano has dropped off the face of the earth.

With all the friendlies now complete we can second guess Mauricio’s thinking as to the starting line up for the West Brom game.  If everyone was fit then it looks like it will be:

Boruc; Clyne, Lovren, Hooiveld, Shaw; Wanyama, Schneiderlin; Guly, Lallana, Rodriguez; Lambert

However... both full backs are doubts so Chambers and Cork come into contention at right back and Fox at left back so we could end up with a back four of Cork (previously useless at right back) or Chambers (untried kid making debut), Fox (clearly not good enough), Lovren (debut in English football) and Big Jos (still not sure about him at this level).  It’s a bit of a worry to be honest.

Victor and Morgan will be the defensive midfield as they seem to have seen off the challenge of Corky but I’d find a place for him in the midfield anyway, in place of one of Guly, Lallana or J-Rod to give us a bit more defensive stability.  With Punch again showing decent form, it seems strange that Guly appears to be in front of him but maybe his higher work ethic and of course his hat-trick against the Spanish waiters has swung it for him.  Gaston appears to be well down the list with the continuation of the end of last seasons lethargy.  There’s a lack of goals in the three attacking midfielders with Adam’s well documented finishing issues still no doubt present, J-Rod using pre-season to hone his skill of hitting the goalkeeper from just about anywhere and Guly not having score a goal against anyone who wasn’t a waiter since 2004.

Up front will of course be England’s Number 9. What!  Yes, Roy Hodgson has finally done something right and being the fickle chap that I am, gone up several notches in my estimation by calling up Sir Rickie for a friendly against Scotland.  He did of course qualify this by saying that if Andy Carroll and Danny Sturridge had been fit then they would have been in front of him in the queue but he’s one of four strikers in the squad, two of which (Defoe and Rooney) have injury doubts over them.  So – he’s going to play at least 45 minutes I’d have thought.  The media coverage has on the whole been positive, highlighting the journey through the league his career has taken and of course, mentioning the beetroot factory.   The only negatives appear to be coming from big club armchair supporting a**hole fans and let’s face they, they matter about as much as Tommy Forecast.  So, England will have one player at least on Wednesday who the game will matter to and one who will have great pride in wearing the shirt.  He’s looked sharp in pre-season so I would bet on him doing himself justice and it’s a massive opportunity.  Much has been made of his age but the next tournament is in 12 months so what’s the issue?  Oh yeah, two weeks ago we were going to sell him to Reading!