League 1 Match 14 - Southampton 3 MK Dons 1

REAL !!!

FAKE !!!

Milton Keynes Dons came to town on Saturday for a game between the two in-form sides of the Division. The poisoned chalice of ‘Manager of the Month’ almost certainly awaits Alan Pardew or Paul Ince, depending on the outcome of the game. Actually, I have an issue with that… it’s not a poisoned chalice at all… I imagine that Sir Alex has won it a few times in the Prem and then not gone on a ten match losing streak so all that poisoned chalice stuff is a load of balls really.

So what do we know about MK Dons ? I liked Wimbledon and I liked going to Plough Lane. I also liked the fact that they consistently got up the noses of the real big boys, culminating in Lawrie Sanchez heading the winner in the FA Cup Final v Liverpool. It’s also not exaggerating to say that the day Wimbledon were franchised off and moved to Milton Keynes, was a day when a part of my love affair with football ended.

MK Dons official history now starts in 2004 but let no one forget where they came from and the questions that are in my mind. Are any of their fans ex-Wimbledon fans ? Do they talk of that FA Cup win like we talk of 1976 ? Do they have the Crazy Gang spirit ? It irritated me immensely in the build up to see David Connolly referred to as an ‘ex-Don’ on one of their websites. Fuck off. He played for Wimbledon, the proper Dons. Fake Dons… I want us to beat you and beat you well.

Saints were unchanged for the match with Hammond and Lallana shrugging of minor knocks to keep Connolly on the bench. Saganowski’s career descent showed no signs of arresting as he was again missing from the bench. There are unconfirmed reports that he was directing traffic at Six Dials before the match.

The confident Saints pour forward from the off and it’s a procession towards the MK goal with Lallana twice going close, denied once by the keeper and one by a last ditch block. Papa Waigo nearly had dance frenzy but the goal was disallowed for a tight offside before out of nowhere, the fake Dons franchised the ball and moved it near our goal for the first time in the match and cracked home a direct free kick for 1-0. Half time.

I have no idea what the atmosphere was like at half time because I was in Florida at an Indiana Jones Stunt Demonstration in Disneyland so this report has been compiled courtesy of other peoples reports and Saints TV. I signed up for the free 14 Day trial before going on holiday and shall give you my verdict on the service soon…. Lets just say that the buffering of the video was Wotton-esque in pace. Anyway…Indy was kicking ‘bad guys butt’ and everyone was cheering whilst I was cursing the injustice of it all. Could Saints produce the Disney ending in the 2nd half?

Last week at Oldham, Pardew produced a substitution that produced a goal within two minutes and the man did it again introducing Michail Antonio and ex-Wimbledon-not-Milton-fucking-Keynes forward, David Connolly in place of Wotton and Waigo. A switch to a more orthodox 4-4-2 and after a six man move, the previously derided (by me) Lloyd James swung over a cross that Hammond attacked and neatly guided in on the volley for 1-1. There was at this point a lull in the Indiana Jones action so I got a few looks when I was the only person cheering when Lambert made it 2-1 with a neat goal from a free kick, again taken by my favourite Welshman, Lloyd James.

Indy had beaten all the bad guys and got the girl after it all looked a bit dodgy early on and Saints had done the same with the final action being a poachers goal from David Connolly, latching onto a hilarious back pass from the MK left back. Can you imagine a proper Wimbledon full back like Terry Phelan or Alan Kimble doing that ? No… it would have been a 70 yard hoof upto an elbows-flailing centre forward.

Things are looking very good and we have now climbed above Tranmere in the table. If Pards gets his manager of the month award then he deserves it and I have a feeling that it won’t be a poisoned chalice at all. We’re on the march and looking upwards. After 5 years of hell, it’s a nice feeling to have…. The fake Dons were the in-form side in the division (apart from us) and we beat them easily with their goal coming from their only on-target shot. Saints can easily deal with hoof ball tactics from opponents (which is all MK had apparently) and any team that thinks they can get change from hoofing it towards Jaidi and Trotman is quite frankly, deluding themselves. We also now seem to have personnel to play 4-3-3 and 4-4-2 which will give Pards more confidence that he can change things for different opponents. The last manager we had who had the guts to swap things about was George Burley but he only did it because he couldn’t remember who played the previous week, let alone their positions.

4 league wins in a row, +11 points. Win v Orient next week and we could be out of the relegation zone.

As for the MK Dons…. Fake Dons, Fake Cows, Fake Position in the League, Fake Off…

League 1 Match 13 - Oldham 1 Southampton 3

I remember you Roger...

That Friday night kick off last week meant that it felt like ages between matches for the mighty Saints. We have just had a 7 days break having had about 5 matches in the previous 7 days… I may be exaggerating a bit here but you catch my drift. We’re at Oldham today and unless they’ve completely redeveloped the ground and imported a new tropical climate, then it’s a dump. I, like many Saints fans of my age can only think of Oldham in terms of Roger ‘F*cking’Milford and Andy ‘F*cking’ Ritchie (coincidental middle name sharing that). The 2-0 defeat in the FA Cup all those years ago on that lump of plastic was my one and only visit to the place.

The team news was as you were with David Connolly, despite making a scoring debut for the reserves in midweek, being on the bench again as we stuck to the 4-3-3 formation which had been doing so well recently. Jacob Mellis returned from England U13 duty and took the place of Saganowski on the bench.

Spare a thought for dear old Marek who scored in the Champions League less than a year ago, then got relegated with us, then wanted to leave because he was frightened of losing his international career, then watched as a non-playing squad member as Poland finished 5th out of 6 teams, then is not deemed good enough for a place on the bench for a team who are bottom of League 1. The next reserves match could well be somewhere like Lewes or Eastbourne….TAXI!!!

So, tough game in store as Oldham are unbeated in 6 but five minutes in and we have a corner. Up until recently, Saints corners were like uncontested drop-balls in that they were simply a device for us to give the ball back to the opposition… but we seem to have hit a bit of form with them. James with the corner, Hammond with the header, 1-0 to us and we’re off and running again. I never could understand why we took such consistently bad corners but someone has obviously got hold of Lloyd and pointed out to him that with Lambert, Hammond, Jaidi, Trotman, Wotton etc in the side, we have a veritable Land of the Giants to aim at.

I manage to catch a bit of Radio Solent commentary… honestly, I could do better. I want them to record a jingle that says something like “Radio Solent commentary, it’s as good as being there”. In case you’re wondering where ‘there’ is… it may as well be the sodding Moon for all the complete cack they come out with. Just tell me who’s got the ball, even which team has it….

Anyway, I’m diverted away doing something meaningless when a text tells me that on 27 minutes, it’s 2-0 with Lambert scoring direct from a free-kick from 30 yards. I’m imagining a net buster and I’m sure that’s what Rickie intended but apparently it’s low bobbly effort that the keeper makes a complete Fahim of. I’m looking forward to seeing that on the TV. There is nothing funnier than watching a keeper gift your side a goal.

I catch the half time on Solent where they seem more interested in Aldershot and Jason Dodd. I eventually get to hear of Lambert trying a shot from half way to Manchester, which hit the bar. Good stuff. In the spirit of the Southend game, I’m expecting us to close this out comfortably in the 2nd half.

It’s a shock to the system to see that Oldham pulled one back on 70 minutes through Pawel Abbott, who Trotman had identified as a threat before the game and despite my new confidence in our ability to hold a lead, the nightmares of the recent past descend on me all at once. Danny Higginbotham heading an own goal is all I can think of as the game drifts on. I’m hearing that Pards is bringing on Connolly to replace Schneiderlin, meaning that we must have gone 4-4-2. I work this out for myself while the commentators on Solent are trying to work out how many sugars to have in their tea. Connolly, 3-1, game over. It must be brilliant as a manager when you make a substitution and change the formation and the sub scores within a minute. If it was me, I’d be looking at everyone asking ‘who’s the Daddy?’

So, another away win, two away wins in a row, 4 wins in a row in all competitions, 3 wins in the league….and WE'RE NOT BOTTOM ANY-MOOOOOOOOOOOORE, WE'RE NOT BOTTOM ANYMORE. To celebrate, here’s a league table….

19th Brighton 13
20th Exeter 13
========================
21st Carlisle 11
22nd Tranmere 10
23rd SOUTHAMPTON 8
24th Wycombe 7

Next stop, out of the relegation zone …

By the way, well done Harry Redknapp !!!

League 1 Match 12 - Southend 1 Southampton 3

Put a picture of Adam Lallana on here quick

The season had just started and I recall saying to a mate of mine that one of the best things about League 1 was the sensible kick off times.... Saturday at 3pm or Wednesday at 7.45. So, here we are on poxy Friday night playing an away game at Southend. I understand that many will think Friday night is a good night for playing footy on but it's a pain in the hole for yours truly. Between the hours of 8.45pm and 10pm, I'm on a plane flying me back from Dublin to Southampton.... more of that later.

I'm confident going into this game as I feel we're getting stronger all the time. In midweek we've signed another player in Irish striker David Connolly who (according to my Irish mates) is far too good for League 1. Happy in this knowledge I am liking the way (as I've said before) that Alan Pardew identifies what is lacking and sorts it out. It's great... Connolly starts on the bench tonight and the starting XI is predictable with Schneiderlin coming in for Mellis who is away with the England Under 13 squad.

I'm logged onto the internet, having thrown 3 euro (27 minutes!!!) into one of those SiteKiosk machines in the departure lounge. At least Dick Turpin had the decency to wear a mask! Five minutes, 1-0 to us and the goal is scored from the most unlikely source....Trotman. I have visions of him rampaging forwards with the ball and crashing it in from 40 yards like Johnny Metgod or chipping the keeper like Phillip Albert.. nope, the Southend keeper had hold of the ball and Trotters slid in and booted him, his hands and the ball over the line and allowed for crap officials to do the rest and allow the goal.

My credit on SiteKiosk is going down quicker than knickers in a Portsmouth nightclub but it really is all us, shots, corners and everything but no second goal. Lallana forces a save and then hits the keeper again with the rebound and before you can say 'foul by Harding on the edge of the box', it's 1-1 as George Friend, who is no friend of mine nor of the 1000+ Saints away support, curls home the free kick.

1.00, 0.92, 0.84, 0.76 Goal by Adam Lallana, get in there. I manage to read that it's an assist by Schneiderlin, 0.16, 0.08, 0.00, before the screen goes blank. "Flybe flight BE382 will board from Gate Number 10 in 15 minutes". Faced with the choice of being ripped off by ShiteKiosk or ripped off by scandalous roaming data charges, I opt for the latter and ascertain that Schneiderlin had a shot and it's hit Lallana and deflected past the keeper. Who cares and it's 3-1 now with Lallana scoring again.... half time, time to board, happy commuter.

The plane I'm boarding is one of the one's that Flybe have named after a footballer. It's not the Matt le Tiss or the Kevin Keegan but the George Best that is taking me home tonight. When the big clubs come knocking for Adam Lallana, perhaps we can get Flybe to stick his mug on the side of a plane if he stays.

8.45pm and the second half is starting. a voice comes on the tannoy telling me that 'all mobile phones should now be switched off'. I'm pretty good about this usually but not today. I'm still hitting refresh as we take to the skies. We get to 52 minutes of the game before the signal goes dead. Bugger. I'm now completely helpless.... no internet, no way to find out the score for another hour. Dammit.

45 minutes of punk rock later and I can see lights which are probably Winchester. Bastard phone is still showing 'No Network Coverage' as I'm getting annoyed now as I can quite clearly make out Winchester Cathedral. I am furtively dodging the stewardesses beady eye, looking for phones and headphones etc and I'm waiting for the signal to kick back in and be bombarded with texts with Goal Waigo, Goal Lambert and Goal Connolly on them. For God's sake I can now see Eastleigh and then with a vibration there's a text. Final Score, Southend 1 Southampton 3.

Good things come to those who wait. For a second I was disappointed that we'd not gone on and mullered them completely but the bottom line is that we closed the game out with little or no alarm. Also, it must be remembered that the players have played lots of games in a short space of time so who can blame them for just doing enough in the second half.

We are now on +5 and just one point behind Wycombe who along with Tranmere, sacked their managers today. Wycombe sacked Peter Taylor who in my opinion is one of the most over-rated managers ever and Tranmere predictably sacked John Barnes who probably only got the job because once scored a good goal against Brazil. The rest of the league will be wondering about us now and just maybe Steve Claridge (good bloke despite being a Skate) was right on Saturday when he said that Saints would be up near the playoffs. Not getting carried yet but we have won 3 games in 6 days. Whatever next...

Johnstone Paints Trophy 2nd Round - Southampton 2 Torquay 2 (Saints win 5-3 on pens)

" That is Torquay Madam !"

Once upon a time, long ago, someone invented a Cup competition for teams who he felt sorry for. These teams were untouched by Premiership millions and the immediate undignified scramble to get access to the Premiership millions. Actually, it was before the Premiership (yes, football did exist before) but you get my drift. The teams in this cup competition would have a chance to play against teams of similar ability (pretty crap) for the prize of a day out at Wembley. Some would say this is patronising.

Until this season of course, we fans of the once mighty Southampton FC had not been interested in the slightest in the Associate Members Freight Rover Leyland DAF Autoglass Auto Windscreen LDV Vans Johnstone Paints Mickey Mouse Small Fry Tin Pot Cup, to give it all of its’ titles down the years. It was something Bournemouth entered and of no interest or consequence. The only time it ever registered on my personal radar was last year when Luton Town won it and protested against the Football League who had at the start of last season, under the guidance of the Mawhinney the Arse, deducted them 30 points in a move to ensure their relegation. . This year…. It’s important.

It’s important to Alan Pardew and he said as much in the pre-match interviews and it’s important to me and to many others I’m guessing. I’m 40 years old and have had three Wembley trips with the Saints: the 1976 Charity Shield which I barely remember, the 1979 League Cup Final which I remember a bit about and the 1992 Zenith Data Systems Cup Final which I remember well. The ZDS Cup is a good comparison as it was a minor competition in that all the big boys weren’t in it. Getting to the final was a great thing for me personally and I had a great day out. I didn’t care that it was a minor trophy and I didn’t care about who wasn’t in it and who wasn’t taking it seriously. We were in it and we were at Wembley and that was all that mattered.

Who can spot the common factor with all these appearance at Wembley ? Yes that’s right, we lost every bastard one of them….

Torquay are our opponents in the Regional 2nd Round (we got a bye through the 1st) and we’ve tinkered a bit with Trotman, Jaidi, Lallana and Mellis being rested and replaced with Perry, Thomas, Gillett and recently acquired loan from Reading, Michail Antonio, of whom we have been told by Pardew to ‘not expect too much’. All I know about Torquay is that they have only just recently got back in League 2, Fawlty Towers was based there and a friend of mine who supports Plymouth, refers to them unaffectionately as Torqueer.

Seeing as we have a fairly stong line-up, I’m expecting this game to not be too much bother …. 1-0 to Torquay….Jesus. Apparently it’s a blunder by Kelvin Davis but never mind, we’ll storm back and put them in their place. 2-0 to Torquay from penalty conceded by Kelvin Davis who gets booked for his trouble. Kelvin is obviously having a stormer of a game.

Half time – ah well, Micky Mouse Trophy – not bothered about it anyway, pointless!!

So having not expected too much of Antonio, I was proved right when he was substituted along with Gillett. They’re replaced with Mills and Saganowski which could only make things better.

The second half is all Saints by the sound of it and we are rewarded with a Double Waigo – two scruffy goals from a combined distance of about 3 yards. Both teams have chances but no winner.

Full time We have officially failed to beat the team in 91st place in the League… and straight to penalties. The 25p a minute texts are going to come flying thick and fast`now…..

Lambert – no problem here surely, Goal – Saints 1 Torquay 0
Wroe – Missssssssssssit, Goal – Saints 1 Torquay 1
Waigo – this could go anywhere, Goal – Saints 2 Torquay 1
Robertson – Come on Kelvin!!!, Goal – Saints 2 Torquay 2
James – Oh no, not confident, just smash it, Goal – Saints 3 Torquay 2
Nicholson – This time…..saved, YESSSSSSS – Saints 3 Torquay 2
Mills – Never trust left footed penalty takers, GET IN – Saints 4 Torquay 2
Mansell – Go on, miss you bugger, Goal – Saints 4 Torquay 3
Wotton – yer having a laugh, surely Saganowski will take it, Goal – Saints win 5-3 on penalties.

Funny how things turn round…. Kelvin goes from hero to goat and back again and the Johnstone Paints Cup goes from important to pointless and back again. So, we scraped it but who cares? It’s one step on the road to Wembley in the most important cup competition of the year….forget the Champions League… the Johnstone Paints Trophy is where it’s at.

League 1 Match 11 - Southampton 4 Gillingham 1

X-Ray on Neal Trotman confirms what I suspected all along.

After the disaster that was Bristol Rovers. Saints had something to prove on Saturday against Gillingham. We really needed to win this one and win it well. In a role reversal from Tuesday, my Dad couldn't go and as I was unable to give the ticket away, I was on my own with my usual collection of Kingslanders and desperate for a better performance from the Mighty Saints than the one Dad saw on Tuesday. Gillingham hold a special place in my heart due to the memory of a League Cup trip to Priestfield during Ian Branfoot's reign of complete misery, when we had Dixon and Speedie up front for one of the worst 0-0 draws ever... oh the memories.

I realised as the teams lined up that I'd got the shape of the team completely wrong for the midweek game as we were playing 4-3-3 with Hammond, Wotton and Mellis in midfield and Lallana, Waigo and Lambert up front. Despite fantastical rumours of impending fitness, Wayne Thomas was again kept out of the side by his fractured eyelash.

Saints started off in a very lopsided way with 9 outfield players on the right and Dan Harding on the left which looked a bit worrying as Gillingham started the stronger of the two sides. About 10 minutes in we settled in our formation a bit and began to play. Wotton was patrolling in front of the back four and when we had the ball we had 5 players breaking forward. It soon paid off when Waigo fed Hammond who put in a decent cross from the right for Lambert to crash home with a right footed volley. Excellent goal and showing the value of getting somewhere near the oppositions goal before crossing the ball. Feed the Lamb and he will score!!! 1-0.

Saints were looking dangerous now and even the set pieces were better. It really should have been 2-0 straight afterwards as a Lallana corner was met by Trotman, six yards out but 50p Head directed it straight at the ground and it bounced over.

A week or so ago I was extolling the virtues of the Saints defence and the uncompromising nature of it. It didn't look so good 10 minutes later when Trotman had a free header to clear and instead, managed to 50p it straight to a Gills player who crossed, only for Jaidi to half clear it to another Gills player who ran past Harding's feeble attempt to tackle before (not the real) Rooney chipped Kelvin Davis who didn't seen to realise it was going over him until too late. 1-1 and not in the script.

The next chance fell to Jacob Mellis who worked himself a space with some nice footwork before rolling a precise shot against the outside of the post. Maybe there is a footballer in there after all.... but is there one in Papa Waigo, loitering ten yards offside? The next time that Waigo got the ball he just had the keeper to beat from 6 yards but his first touch was woeful and the chance was scuffed wide. I cursed him and his stupid dance and I cursed him with the ultimate insult of being as bad as Bradley.... and then he scored and I forgot all that negative stuff. Lambert played him in with a nice touch and even though there was an element of fortune about the control with his face and knee, it ended up in the net and Papa Waigo N'Diaye could legitimately do his dance for a reason at the third attempt.

Half time was approaching and so was the first booking as Trotman incurred the wrath of the referee for a kind of Judo throw that I think would have been a foul in that Ultimate Fighting cack that they pretend is a sport on Setanta. The first half action was not over though as Saints broke at pace and a combination of Waigo, Lambert and Mellis worked to ball to Lallana who scored easily. 3-1, Half time, happy days are here again.

At half time I thought I'd ring an old friend to see if they were in the concourse. They were in a concourse all right, but unfortunately, it was in an airport in Hong Kong wheich meant of course, that a half time chat and a beer was out of the question. More roaming charges for me no doubt.

The second half began with a lull as Gillingham weren't ready to go for broke yet and Saints were happy with what they had. Things livened up with the award of a free kick, 25 yards out which Rickie Lambert smashed towards the top corner, only to be denied by an excellent save from Simon Royce. This was followed by a superb run by Papa Waigo who left the full back on his bum before cutting in and sliding a lovely ball across the box where the flying Lambert just failed to connect. I am not convinced that the Waigo means anything he does but for today, what he was doing was just fine.

Gillingham rarely threatened and the game was finished off when after some over-elaboration by Mellis, Lambert and Waigo, Lallana decided it was time to stop all the messing about and curl home the 4th. The game was over from there on in with Lambert, Waigo and Lallana all being substituted to deserved ovations.

Despite his two goals, Adam Lallana is just pipped as player of the day, by Rickie Lambert who was simply unplayable. He is improving and I can't have been alone in thinking that he could play at a higher level than this. A shout must also go out to Paul Wotton whose 'dirty work' underpinned the result today. He knows his limits and plays within them, winning the ball, passing it to players who have more creative ability and generally, being a rock in the centre of the park. I firmly believe that he and Hammond should be two of the starting central midfielders with Schneiderlin challenging Mellis for the other spot. Last year, Wotton would launch into tackles so late that the game was already over. This year he appears to be staying on his feet more and only 'clearing out' when completely necessary.

To be honest, this is the sort of game we should see a bit more of at SMS this season. We should be burying these sort of sides and hopefully this will be the first of many emphatic wins at home and my Dad will hopefully see the others. He saw Bristol Rovers, I saw this one, I won, ha ha ha!

Next up is a first in the shape of a game v Torquay United in the Not-In-the-Top-Two-Divisions-Trophy knows as the Johnstone Paints Trophy. In his interview after the game, Alan Pardew said we'd be putting out a full side and he wanted to win it. To be honest, it is our only hope in hell of winning a trophy this season so why not.... I fancy a day out at Wembley too.

PS - Our game finished before Pompey's fluke, not a handball honest, win at Wolves.... so we got to one point first. We are now +2