BBC Amazed that Russell Didn't Make a Shit Substitution for the Interview
We are about to embark on a four-game run which will define Russell Martin’s
and Southampton‘s season with three of the games being Leicester at home,
Everton at home and Wolves away – three sides who will in all likelihood be in
the bottom six at the end of the season. The fourth game in the sequence is
against Manchester City away so we don’t need to talk about that one. Points on
the board are what is needed and I would suggest that anything less than six
points from these four games and we might as well pack our bags for the Championship
once more.
Leicester arrive having won their first game of the season last week at home to
Bournemouth. I wonder if Bournemouth players and managers were taking the piss
in the press conference afterwards? Somehow, I doubt it. It was on the face of
it, very similar to our home game against Ipswich in the Leicester took the
lead relatively early and arrived at the 94th minute one goal in front. Unlike
us however, they got over the line and that has massively changed the
perception of how the two teams have started.
We need to follow suit today and get our first win by hook or by crook. It
certainly isn’t going to be easy as last year we lost about a combined nine
goals to one against Leicester. A home game at St Mary‘s was a Russell Martin
disaster class with an experimental team going to kneel down in the first three
minutes and never recovering. Away from home we were just an absolute fucking
shambles and got hammered 5-0. Last time in the Premier League against
Leicester though we managed to win twice including a home win that was one of
only two home wins that season.
Leicester have been underneath a financial cloud for the last couple of seasons
but have managed to completely get away with overspending and breaking the
pointless rules. They didn’t seem to
argue with the fact that they had overspent, they just argued that because they
were in the Championship, the Premier League couldn’t do anything about it and
when they were in the Premier League, the season in the Championship couldn’t
be taken into account because they weren’t in the Premier League. The lack of joined up governance between the
top two divisions of football is quite staggering. We of course have been in
the same division as Leicester over the last few seasons but have decided to play
by the rules. I was hoping that Leicester’s points deduction would be one of
the things that helped us stay up this season by hook or by crook, but we’re
going to have to do it by the more conventional method of finding three teams
more shit than us. That starts with
winning the game today.
On the pitch, Leicester still have a pretty strong squad– see the above
paragraph for the reasons for that. Despite being under financial cloud they
managed to spend £25 million on the central defender this season and Okoli is
likely to play even though Vestergaard is allegedly fit again. Wilfred Ndidi is
still a major player in midfield, as is Harry Winks. On the wings they have the
two wingers that terrorised as last year in Stephy Mavididi and Abdul Fatawu
and also have Facundo Buononotte, a loan signing from Brighton in the summer.
Up front, they still have old Steptoe himself and Jamie Vardy is still a
complete shit house pain in the arse even at the age of 38. You have to respect
it really.
Russell Martin has hopefully spent the international break preparing for and
recovering from his appearance in a charity game at St Mary‘s last Saturday and
hasn’t had time to come up with some fucking weird and wacky shit to put out on
the pitch this afternoon. The main interest will stem around weather Tall Paul
starts the game after his impressive cameo against Arsenal. Personally, I’d
like to see a front three of Paul, Cameron Archer off the left and Tyler Dibling
off the right…. Bit not to be – it’s virtually the same line up as for the
completely different assignment away at Arsenal. Ryan Manning starts and the other ten pick
themselves.
Here we go and a positive start as we win a corner virtually straight away.
Manning swings it in left-footed and it’s a brilliant delivery and Joe Aribo
rises to meet it and a combination of the goalkeeper in the crossbar keep it
out before Leicester half clear it and back in to where Archer tries an
overhead kick but can only scuff it wide. Fuck.
Anthony Taylor is the referee today and he makes himself knopwn to the crowd by
making twat of himself for booking Ryan Manning for really next to nothing. Three minutes later and Fernandes goes in the
book as well for another debateable one.
Fernandes then tries to bring the ball out of defence and gets
absolutely wiped out by Bunonotte.
Taylor gives the free-kick and decides that’s not a yellow card even
though it's the worst foul dof the game so far. Saints get on with it quickly with Downes tapping
the ball to KWP and he’s away down the left. Like all good players he picks the
best option and puts out wide to Manning and his first time left foot cross falls
perfectly for Archer to run into the net. Get in. What a fucking start.
We soon get the ball out KWP on the left
touch line and I’m actually thinking it would be good if this was Manning with hise
left foot but KWP is a different beast and pisses past James Justin and makes
his way along the line before picking out the perfect pass to find Joe Aribo on
the edge of the 6 yard box and he passed it into the net in almost identical
fashion to the way Archer did earlier. 2-0 and surely today is the fucking day.
Something strange has happened during the week because we win a throw near the Leicester goal line. We’ve been known to throw these all the way back to Ramsdale but today, Sugawara hurls it in, it’s flicked on by THB and Downes hooks it goalwards and it goes through Hermansen’s legs, hits on the arse and bounces down and the keeper is very grateful to grab hold of it.
Dibling is giving Kristiansen a real hard time, as he does with most left backs this season and he pisses past him before getting to the edge of the box and being upended by Faes. Anthony Taylor for reasons known only to him, decides that that’s not a foul. 99 times out of 100 with 99 referees out of 100, that is a clear foul. Faes then goes through the back of Cameron Archer on the halfway line and it is also not a foul. I can’t work out if Taylor is bent or just shit but he seems to have absolutely no idea what is and what isn’t a foul.
Leicester haven’t really done much so far but as we approach half-time they begin to come into the game a little bit more with Kristiansen feeding the ball in from the left to El Khanouss in the penalty area and he curls one at the far post and it pings off the inside of the post and bounces back into play behind Ramsdale. Very fortunate but we get away with it and reach half-time two goals to the good.
It's been a great half. 2-0 up despite
the referee but a long way to go of course and I can’t help but think we need a
third. Leicester bring on Harry Winks at
half-time to replace Oliver Skipp who has been shit, so you would expect
Leicester to be better
Nothing much changes initially and Saints are still the more dangerous side but
through an unexpected source as Fernandes swings a cross into the box which is
met by the diving fuzzy head of Wout Faes, who bullets are header towards his
own goal and a yard either side of Hermanson and it’s 3-0, but it straight at
him and he shovels it over the bar.
Jamie Vardy Rat Bastard is obviously getting frustrated with the way things
that are going on so he takes the law into his own hands and puts in a very
very late challenge on Sugawara which looks like a stamp from where I am and Anthony
Taylor brandishes the yellow card. He
doesn’t see fit to do anything else and nor does V.A.R.
Leicester, thanks to Winks are starting to play, and a ball into the box finds
Vardy who looks absolutely nailed on to score but as he shoots, Fernandes comes
sliding in from nowhere and gets a block on it and we survive again. Buononotte’s follow-up goes just wide.
Nearing the hour mark Lester bring on Abdul Fatawu, who absolutely fucking
destroyed us at the King Power at the tail end of last season. Let’s hope he’s
not in the mood today. Sugawara has been
struggling since the assault by Vardy and has to go off and…. What the fuck? Ryan Fraser is coming on with KWP going over
to the right and Ryan Manning to left back. So, a direct rerun of the King
Power nightmare that he had against Fatawu only a few months ago.
Meanwhile – talking of nightmares, Dibling is giving Justin just that after he
has switched to left back and Tyler cuts in and his shot as well saved by
Hermanson down low. However, the
predicted Fatawu v Manning problem doesn’t become a reality for a whole three
minutes… until the first time he gets the ball in fact, when he absolutely
pisses past Fraser and Manning and fires obver a low cross and Buononotte knocks
it into the net. Here we fucking go.
Downes sets up a break down there left for Wee Man and he tries to find Archer
with a low cross but it bounces off him and it’s knocked away for a corner.
Over it comes from Manning and there is THB at the back post all on his own but
his header across his face of goal hits Faes and goes wide.
Time for another substitution and like the last one, this is similarly mind
blowing as Fernandes comes off to be replaced by Smallbone, making his return
from injury. That's another complete headscratcher given that both Lallana and Big Les are on the bench. Also on for the clearly knackered
Cameron Archer, is Tall Paul.
Virtually straight away there’s a corner from the left and Tall Paul is clearly
having his shirt ripped off his back by Jordan Ayew, but Anthony Taylor doesn’t
give it and one assumes that VAR aren’t interested either. Another cross comes in and Paul goes for it
again and this time it’s Faes who has a handful of his shirt but the fucking
referee clearly isn’t giving those today.
More danger and Fatawu again completely avoids our two players on the left
before smashing a shot past Ramsdale and pings off the crossbar and bounces
out. Back in it comes from the other side and Fatawu is completely unmarked to
power a header at Ramsdale from five yards out and he performs miracles to keep
it out and we get away with it… but hang on, Rat Bastard is appealing for
something and we are off to VAR.
VAR: “Hello Tone… you having a good day?”
AT: “Yes lads, victimizing the Southern Bastards, Yellow cards everywhere ha ha, nice to hear from you”
VAR: "I thought PGMOL said we were supposed to be against Leicester cos of all the financial cheating they got away with"
AT: "Yeah... but you know, I love a bit of dishonesty, me"
VAR: “Well.. we thought about asking you to review the Vardy challenge and we thought
about asking you to review the shirt holding on the giant guy...”
AT: “You know the drill lads…..”
[All together] “Not enough consequence”
AT: “Exactly, now what have I missed?”
VAR: “Wee Fraser had hold of Vardy’s shirt for a microsecond”
AT: “That’ll piss them off cos I saw Ayew holding onto the giant guy’s shirt for 5
minutes – looked like a fucking water-skiier being pulled along ha ha ha”
VAR: “You’re hilarious Anthony”
AT: “I’m working my way up to be a legend like Big Mikey Dean”
VAR: “Steady on Tone, no one’s that Godlike”
AT: “ok, ok, ok… so, what we got?”
VAR: “penalty to Leicester cos we love them…. And… you’ll love this… red card to the
Wee Saints player”
Taylor leaves the monitor and comes back on the pitch and decides for the first time in the game that he is going to give something for shirt pulling and it’s a penalty to Leicester. Fucks sake, oh and Wee Man has been sent off of course because he hasn’t made an attempt to play the ball. Fuck off. It’s too much to hope for Jamie Vardy to miss and he doesn’t. Fuck. 2-2
Saints have reshuffled with now having ten men. Aribo has been moved out to the left, leaving Smallbone and Downes in the centre of midfield with Dibling on the right. 15 minutes to go and all the momentum with Leicester. It’s hard to tell but Smallbone looks injured but Russell Martin clearly thinks not because the next two substitutions are to take off the floundering Manning, along with Dibling and bring on Charlie Taylor fifteen minutes too late. Oh joy, Kamaldeen Waste of of Fucking Space is on as well.
Leicester very nearly go in front when their sub Decordova-Reid mis-kicks in the box but it falls nicely to Buononotte who fires very narrowly wide. Saints have one attack breaking down the right and Suledjenepo has to use his pace and shot away but he slows down and allows Faes to get back and block it. Fucking useless.
Fatawu has been quieter since Taylor came on, probably because he’s twice the left back that Manning is (surprise surprise) but he has a run at Taylor in the 96th minute and Taylor puts in a superb tackle to knock the ball off for a corner
All we have to do, as the game ticks into the 98th minute, is to defend one more corner and we get out of here with a point. In it comes low to the edge of the box. A swing of the foot by Jordan Ayew and it perfectly goes in between all our players and Ramsdale has very little chance to see it and can’t keep it out. We are appealing for offside but we have Sulemana stood there like a dopey bastard playing everybody onside so we’re not gonna get away with it because of that. The end.
So – let’s have a look at the timeline.
59 minutes - Leicester made a substitute
and bought on Abdel Fatawu, a winger who only a few months ago, scored a
hat-trick as Leicester buried us 5-0 and who was marking him that day? - Ryan
Manning.
62 minutes - Russell Martin had a choice to make on that side when he was
forced to move KWP over to right back and what he did was bring Wee Man on and
therefore moved Ryan Manning directly one-on-one against Fatawu. To the surprise of absolutely fucking no one
except for Russell Martin it seems, Fatawu tore us a completely new arsehole
down that side with the defensive weakening of both the left back and the
left-wing slot that happened that substitution.
Charlie Taylor was right there.
65 minutes - Three minutes was all it took for Fatawu to skin both Manning and
Fraser and set up Buononotte for the first Leicester goal.
68 minutes - Another shocker as Fernandes and Archer are replaced (and not
Manning) and on comes Lallana – our specialist player we signed for this exact
scenario… but no, instead of that we get Will Smallbone, who has to be the
absolute worst player you can possibly bring on as a substitute because he
doesn’t fulfil one of the basic requirements of a sub, which is to add
energy. Tall Paul is on as well.
73 minutes - Fatawu, completely unhindered by Fraser and Manning, hits the bar
and then has a free header when the cross comes back in which leads to the
penalty and red card. In the reshuffle,
despite him seemingly being injured (it is hard to tell admittedly), Russell
moves Smallbone into central midfield and moves the excellent Aribo wide
left.
78 minutes - There are two more subs to make and Smallbone and Manning should
of course come off but instead it’s Dibling and Manning for Taylor and Sulemana. Smallbone has barely touched the ball since he
came on and looks injured.
All leading to the 97th minute identikit set piece goal we conceded
against Ipswich. Mark the players on the
edge of the box – I should be the fucking set piece coach – thus endeth the
lesson.
It seemed like self-sabotage – all of it.
So predictable setting up the Fatawu vs Manning rematch, then deciding
that what we needed was Smallbone instead of Lallana or even Big Les. Moving
Joe Aribo out of the middle to accommodate him was insane, as Aribo had been our
best player for the opening hour but he was rendered powerless as the Leicester
midfielders used Smallbone as a training cone, putting me in mind of the famous
Ibrahima Diallo substitute performance at Arsenal. I also
can’t get my head around Tyler Dibling being replaced by Sulemana, who should
be about five places down the pecking order to come on in a wide area but he’s
got himself fit for the first time in months so naturally, he gets on the
pitch. Needless to say, he was shit.
There will be narrative around this game to blame the referee and Anthony
Taylor and VAR was undoubtedly shite but we can’t control what the referee
does. We can control what we do and that was fucking dreadful. One of Russell Martin’s biggest flaws is over
rating certain players and not drawing a line under some players who are so
screamingly obviously, not good enough to play in this division. Starting Ryan
Manning today was madness in itself but he had a great moment when he set up
the first goal but after that he barely kicked a ball in the right direction
but he did keep the left side solid because in part, we had a full back behind
him. However, putting him at left back
at the end of the game was an absolute travesty. Of our starting XI, individually, you would
only look at Manning and say that ‘he’s not the required standard to play in
the Premier League. Deep into erh second
half we had at various times - Manning, Fraser, Smallbone, Sulemana, Tall Paul.
A lot of criticism will be going to
Russell Martin and deservedly so but the bottom line is we have about ten
players who are decent enough at Premier League level but by the end of that
game we too many makeweights on the pitch.
Leicester in truth, were pretty average and were absolutely there for the
taking and in the first half an hour we showed exactly how to play against them
and if we’d kept the up or managed the game properly then it would’ve been a
comfortable win. However, games last 96 minutes, which is something that we
have totally failed to grasp this season, along with the fact that games have
to be managed in the second half.
The first half was excellent as we surged into a 2-0 lead and looked relatively
comfortable. The decision to start Manning on the left of midfield was a
slightly mystifying one but with the first goal you saw exactly the logic
behind it with KWP making a run infield and Manning being the option wide left
to put the ball in with his left foot which led to Archer’s goal. KWP of course then showed that he could do
damage from that wing on his own by pissing past James Justin before teeing up
Joe Aribo. We have basically lined up in a 4-4-1-1 formation and were looking
solid and it looked like we were trying to get the ball into dangerous areas
more than we have done previously. Long throws from both sides came in from
Manning and Sugawara respectively and we nearly scored from one and at least we were making Leicester defend and they weren’t doing that terribly
well.
Having said I don’t want to blame the referee too much, I’m still going to talk about it.
Anthony Taylor is a massive twat and a fucking useless referee. Shirt pulling is only allowed one way it
appears and he has absolutely no fucking idea what is and what isn’t a foul –
Dibling being fouled on the edge of the box when we were 2-0 was a belter of a
non-decision. Saints had four players
booked for pretty minor offences in the first half whereas Wout Faes was
allowed to smash through the back of Archer without even a free kick being
given. First half and Buononotte goes
down, gets treated and is not made to leave the pitch for the restart. Second
half and Smallbone gets treated, has to leave the pitch and has to wait to come
back on, whilst we play with 9. He then
came back on and we carried on playing with 9 but that's another story.
Taylor and VAR made the decision between them to give the shirt pull on
Vardy and therefore the red card to Fraser and a penalty to Leicester… but two minutes earlier, Taylor and VAR didn’t see
that Ayew holding on to Tall Paul’s shirt for five seconds was worthy of anything. ‘Not enough consequence’ seems to be the get
out clause these days. Arsenal’s offside
against us in the last game – not enough consequence.
Questions will now inevitably turn towards whether Russell Martin will survive as Southampton manager. He has credit in the bank having got the club promoted last season but we have to view everything for a Premier League lens because this is where the club is and this is where the club wants to stay. At the moment, Russell Martin is not learning quickly enough and we are going to be relegated. Russell Martin was nowhere near an innocent party in this defeat today with nonsensical decisions where the outcome was entirely predictable. He’s recently made a complete arse of the Bournemouth away game – our last game when we could have reasonably got something. You can make mistakes in the Championship and get away with it but not here in the Premier League. I feel that he will get the Manchester City free hit game next week and he will also get the next home game against Everton but as a club, behind the scenes, I wouldn’t be surprised if we are sounding out other managers to see if they would be interested in the job. If the likes of Graham Potter are not interested and we can’t get awyone better, then we have the choice of blindly jumping into the void and sacking him or to carry on with what we are doing at the moment and hope it miraculously improves. Personally, I want to Russell Martin for survive and I want him to do well but it just does not look like it’s going to happen at the moment.
Did I hear someone say Manchester City away next week? Great.
Up the fucking Saints.
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