Premier League Match 28 - Southampton 3 Tottenham 3

 

Pick This One Out Mate

Back at St Mary‘s for today’s visit of Champions League chasing Tottenham Hotspur. If you believed the media, you would think that Spurs have more problems than we do which is quite remarkable achievement bearing in mind they are sat in fourth place. Spurs as we all know will never achieve what they probably should achieve bearing in mind the size of the club, size of the ground and the strikers that they have. Spurs will always manage to find a way to underachieve.  It’s called being Spursy.

The latest maanger to try and get them to the right level is Antonio Conte, a serial winner who like Jose Mourinho before him, has won just about everything in the game.  Conte hasn’t exactly torn up any trees so far.  For the past ten or so years, they’ve had the absolute godsend of Harry Kane, a striker who guarantees you 20+ goals every season and often more than that.  In addition, they’ve had Son Heung-Min, who will get you a similar amount of goals.  However, if you took those two out of this Spurs side and swapped them with any two of our strikers, I reckon we’d be higher in the table than them because it’s all about what your players at the top end of the pitch can do. The fact that I can make a statement like that and it will not be seen as completely outlandish tells you all you need to know about the averageness of the other players in Spurs line-up.

They have two of our ex’s of course with Pierre Emile Hojbjerg being a key player in the centre of midfield and Fraser Forster who is currently enjoying a run of games on the side with Hugo Lloris being injured. There are many among us, me included, who feel that Fraser should’ve been given a one year contract this season and been our first choice with Gavin Bazunu learning in the background, but then hindsight is a wonderful thing. Fraser is of course capable of the sublime and capable of the ridiculous so let’s just hope he has one of his shocking, indecisive, ‘nailed to the goal line’ games today. Before the game though, I hope we give him a decent reception because he deserves it.

Elsewhere, Spurs defence can definitely be got at if you have the mind to and the full backs are not the best defensively. Spurs overall are the kind of side where if they are not at it, you can certainly come away with something but you have to have a go for it and that’s our problem of course.

So what does Ruben do about that today?  Well, he’s reverted to the 4-2-2-2 formation with Stuart Armstrong and Moi Elyouselessi on the wings.  KWP’s injury against Brentford was not bad enough to keep him out today.  Theo Walcott is deservedly given the nod up front with Che.  Conte has picked Richarlison, who is of course, a twat and a twat who hasn’t scored a goal this season so far.  Guess who he always scores against?

It’s very obvious from the first whistle this game is going to be pretty open and Saints create an early chance with Perraud getting down the left and linking up well with Elyounoussi, crossing out to the edge of the penalty area where Armstrong’s shot is blocked and JWP‘s follow-up is going wide and Adams touch doesn’t divert it on target. Good start though.

Now I don’t like laughing when a player gets injured but it’s hard not to smirk when Richarlison pulls up, with a strained dickhead.  He goes to walk off the pitch but he has his shirt over his face to increase the drama of his exit… oh just fuck off mate, no one likes you, even Conte hates you.  Kulusevski is on to make Spurs stronger.

Richarlison Off With a Strained Dickhead

Three minutes later though, ABK has clearly been injured by a bit of a cheap shot by Ben Davies as the ball was dead.  Davies apologises but no consolation to ABK who is off, holding his shoulder and Salisu is on.

Adams battles away on the left and Elyounoussi plays a ball through to put Walcott clean through on the goalkeeper. Forster gets down well to block Theo’s side footed effort but the flag is up anyway.

The Minge, previously known as Son Heung-Min, has been quiet so far and hasn’t scored any of the usual four goals he gets against us but he picks the ball up on the left-hand side and with everybody seemingly expecting him to pass it and keep the move going he lashes one across goal which goes narrowly wide.  I admit that behind that goal, I rolled my eyes and was totally convinced for a second that it was going in.

Another injury and Bednarek is holding his ribs and has to go off after trying to play on.  With no other centre back on the bench it’s Maitland-Niles coming on at centre-back and it’s not over there as Davies goes down for Spurs and his replacement again makes them stronger as Perisic comes on.

Aside from the injuries, a feature of the first half is the space that Porro keeps finding himself in.  He’s already skied two efforts so we let him have another go.  We get ourselves in a complete mess with The Minge picking up the ball on their left and all our defenders have gone over that side leaving Porro, the right back, completely unmarked. He takes a touch and has all the time in the world to drill it past Baz. Absolutely horrific defending. Perraud cannot go in field if no one is marking his man and this is a fucking disaster.

Half time and a general feeling of here we go again.  Spurs haven’t even been any good, yet we are losing.  I’m getting strong Brentford vibes… will we do anything in the second half or just meekly lose again?  No personnel changes at half time but unlike with the Brentford game there seems to be a bit more intensity.  Theo Walcott wins a free kick out the right hand side courtesy of a clumsy file by Dier and then he’s on the end of Lavia’s through ball once the free-kick is taken and the squares it for Che Adams to bundle it into the net and fuck me we’ve equalised.  The shitness of modern football take a hold as there is not much celebration while we wait for it to be declared offside… but it isn’t and we’ve actually scored.

It will be interesting to see what sort of response Spurs have got now and to be fair it’s not bad with Perišić firing over but we have a quick VAR for handball check because the shot before that and hit Maitland-Niles.  Nothing Given and Saints go again but the attack breaks down with Elyounoussi being too slow in possession and losing it.  Kane comes deep and runs with the ball and we almost back off encouraging him to shoot,  which of course he does and lashes it over the bar. Greedy to be quite honest, considering he had three players up with him.

Kulusevski then gets the ball on the right. Cuts back onto his left foot and delivers a superb cross and Kane has got in behind makeshift centre half Maitland-Niles to head comfortably into the top corner of the net. Bollocks.

Ruben rolls the dice with a triple substitution with Alcaraz and Sulemana coming on for Armstrong and Elyounoussi but the third surprise a few eyebrows as it’s one of the Chuckle Brothers, with Sekou Mara, coming on for Che Adams.

The effect is not what’s required as another Kulusevski‘s cross is headed out to the edge of the box for Perisic to smash down into the ground and speeding into the top of the net. 3-1, Game Over, fuck it.  Fire drills all over the place with 20 minutes to go.

The good news is that we are having a go.  Saints into life though with Sulemana and Mara combining well done on the left hand side before JWP plays the square to AMN, who smashes it but Fraser pulls out an excellent save out of the top corner.  The corner is cleared before we head back out to JWP on the right and his cross back into the mixer is headed down by Mara and there is Theo Walcott to knock into the net to send the Spurs fans into ecstasy as an Arsenal old boy gets us back into the game. 3-2.

Theo Writes Another Chapter in The Story of the Tottingham

Spurs are shitting it now and dropping off, passively allowing Sulemana to make a break down the middle which is excellent, taking him away from three players before feeding Mara on the left who shoots but Forster makes a good save down low once more.

We are in the 89th minute and it’s another corner, which JWP puts into the mixer.  Headed down by Salisu and Sarr goes to clear it and takes a big swing but manages to kick Maitland-Niles in the back and Simon Hooper points to the spot. Fucking hell that looks a bit generous.  Off to VAR.

In the shambles that follows Forster comes out and scuffs at the penalty spot and it looks like Mara is going to take it for a second but JWP is backing himself again repairs the damaged spot, puts it down before smashing it high into the opposite side that he normally goes and it rips into the net despite Fraser going the right way.

There’s a few more minutes to go and nothing much happens.  We don’t manage to mount another attack which is a shame but we get to the end.

Final whistle and loud celebrations as if we had won the game, which of course we didn’t. We have to use the last 15 minutes as a springboard to take forward after the impending international break and there is certainly some positives to take from the fight shown to get back into the game. As we all know, there have been plenty of games this season where it’s not really been there.

A point might be very important in the final reckoning but I’m left with an unavoidable feeling like I had after the Manchester United draw in that if this had happened at the start of the season, I would have unequivocally thought it was a great point but given the hole we are in and given the loss that we had against Brentford during the week, a point today leaves me with a bit of a feeling of what if.  Had we beaten Brentford I’d have been delighted with a  point but one point from two home games doesn’t really do it for me.

I honestly think that Spurs were there for the taking today but on a day when our attacking play was generally better, our defensive play went to shit. The first half had seen Spurs right back Pedro Porro arrive in the penalty area completely unmarked twice already and in a clear illustration of not learning from your mistakes, he arrived for third time completely unmarked and this time managed to smash the ball in off the underside of the bar. It was like we were expecting him to keep missing. The ball switched from Spurs left to right by The Minge, found Perraud tucked infield in the left centre back position and that would be fine if the left winger had covered back and tracked the full back. As this hasn’t happened, Perraud has to stay wider and pick his man up. Absolute Mickey Mouse basics.

The second one we let in was basically down to not stopping a cross and allowing Kane a free header which can be partially excused by the fact that we’ve lost both our centre backs to injury and had Ainsley Maitland-Niles playing out of position at centre back. In between those two Spurs goals we got back into it straight after half-time with some marvellous play by Romeo Lavia and Theo Walcott down the right wing and a decent finished by Che Adams, though how much he actually knew about it is slightly open to question. At 1-1 we look comfortable for a bit before dozing off and allowing Kane his free header and Perišić making it 3-1 just seemed the final seal on yet another depressing afternoon in our march down to the Championship.

Where there is life there is hope however and once more it was Theo Walcott who provided it, steering in Sekou Mara’s nod down.  I had to admit that when the three substitutions were made in the second half and one of them was Mara, I was not impressed but he put in probably his best 20 minutes in a Saints shirt bringing you energy to the attack and helping to spark the comeback.  He looked like he fancied the penalty as well after AMN had been fouled but eventually gave way to JWP who was under all sorts of pressure having missed his last two, this being the last minute of the game and his big mate Fraser Forster in goal.  No problem today.

It was a good day for Ruben today. Bearing in mind he had to burn two substitutions in the first half which restricted him somewhat, the triple substitution in the second half certainly worked with all three contributing.  Sulemana meant we had a running threat on the left-hand side which stopped whoever the Spurs right back was from getting forward and Charly Alcaraz again looked like a proper player.

The two centre backs both being injured could potentially be a bit of a problem but they have two weeks to recover.  ABK‘s injury looks like a recurrence of a shoulder problem in what I thought was a pretty cheap shot by Ben Davies. Bednarek’s injury looks more like ribs but it was nice to see him applauded off where is a few weeks ago he was getting booed on to the pitch.

To come back from two goals down with 15 minutes to go, of course shows all manner of fight but in general I don’t think fight is our issue.  It’s guile in the front third of the pitch that is the problem and it would be some story is Theo Walcott provides the spark to keep us up. He was brilliant today, totally deserved his goal and was at the centre of everything good about our attacking play. It was 100% the right decision to leave him on for the full 90 minutes.

So, What does 'Spursy' mean Antonio?

As I said, I think Spurs were there for the taking. They’ve undoubtedly got some good players but if I was a fan of theirs, I would not be impressed with throwing a two-goal lead against bottom of the league but also, the intensity didn’t seem to be there for large portions of the game. I’ll stand by what I said at the start of the game in there if they didn’t have Kane, they’d be very average indeed.  The Minge wasn’t really at it today and the midfield of Hojbjerg and Skipp is functional rather than outstanding. And then you have Antonio Conte who gave the most amazing press conference after the game, slagging Spurs record over the last 20 years and slagging the owner.  It was like someone asked him what the definition of ‘Spursy’ was.  If anyone wasn’t sure by now, they must be 100% sure that he wants to be sacked and he has no interest in being Tottenham manager. Absolutely fucking ridiculous behaviour for someone who has had a decent transfer budget to work with.  He may well be speaking the truth but unless Levy promised him £500 million budget and has gone back on it, he’s basically complaining that the job was exactly what it was when he joined. He is going to leave the Spurs job either now or at the end of the season and all that he’s added to his reputation is that he was better than Nuno Espírito Santo. I wouldn’t go near him if I was the owner of a football club but no doubt someone will and it will probably be someone at the highest level.  He got lucky today as well – the two enforced subs means he replaced Richarlison and Davies with Kulusevski and Perisic and got two assists and a goal out of it.

As for us, with the international break now upon us it will be interesting to see if Ruben can use it the same way Ralph used to and come up with something decent for our next game which is a huge one away at West Ham. It’s another one of those six pointers that this season we have never turned up for. We absolutely have to turn up for that one. At least after today we can go into it with a little bit more optimism. I would still say that the odds are against us regarding staying up but we demonstrated the spirit needed today and against West Ham, we have to show up

Up the fucking Saints.