World Cup 2018 - Semi's and Final - Ok, France Didn't Implode Like I Said They Would

Fair Play Carlton

Semi-finals and France against Belgium. It’s really tough to pick a winner from this match but I’ve gone Belgium, simply because of the greater attacking flair. I should’ve known. To be fair, France played this game absolutely superbly, scored the one goal that decided it with a header from a corner by Umtiti and then saw the game out impressively by defending properly and not over-committing players forward from midfield, making themselves immune to the counter-attack at which Belgium are absolutely deadly. When confronted with this, Belgian looks fairly ordinary and nearly all of their attacks fell down when the ball got to Lukaku who was absolute pocketed by Varane and proved that whilst he is a very good striker, he hasn’t got the first touch to be regarded as world class.  Mbappe and Griezmann had moments when they were absolutely brilliant but I’m going to give a shout out to Carlton Pogba who played a superbly disciplined role for the team to nullify the seven foot wig that is Marouane Fellaini. Oddly enough, I feel that should we go through against Croatia, then we would have a better chance against France than we would against Belgium.

Southgate named the usual team and here are England in a World Cup Semi-Final against Croatia.  In 1990 I was watching the game in a pub near Fratton Park of all places.  Oh the misery after that one.  Anyway, 28 years later and in five minutes, dreamland as Trippier brilliantly chipped a free kick over the wall and into the top corner. Fuck me – what a start!. For the rest of the first half, we absolutely battered them but couldn’t score with Kane being denied one-on-one by Subasic and then managing to hit the rebound on to the post via the goalkeepers boot.

Just for a Minute - We Believed

It was obvious that Croatia would be better in the second half and so it proved as they pushed up on our defence and we were severely found wanting. There was no playing out from the back and every time the ball went to Henderson in midfield, it was hoofed aimlessly forward.  Not good and from about the hour mark onwards it was obvious that we weren’t going to score again and we were just hoping to hang on but it wasn’t to be with a cross from the right hand side finding just one player moving towards the ball in the box and everyone else static.  That one player was Perisic and he got in front of Walker to knock it into the net. We hang on till extra time and the first 15 minutes were fucking dreadful as we struggle to get any sort of foothold at all, rel;ying on the excellent Pickford to keep us in it. The second 15 were better but we still didn’t create much and then a shit clearance up in the air from Walker, it came down, it was nodded back into the box, Stones was playing statues and Mandzukic reacted and scored easily. World Cup semi-final, 2-1 down, five minutes to go and we’re going to need a hero but we don’t have any. Sadly, it was completely gone and there was no way back. Rashford had a free kick and aimlessly floated it into the box and it was easily cleared and that was the last chance and with it went England’s participation in the World Cup in 2018, aside from the bollocks third place play-off they now have to endure.

We have lost to a very good side but it’s one that contains Dejan Lovren and that’s hard to take because he is a fucking wanker. I think we can have a little bit of a gripe of the referee as he let the Vrsaljjko and Rebic in particular get away with murder but we didn’t do enough from the 45th minute onwards to say we deserve anything out of the game.  Croatia with the better side and good luck to them in the final.

Overall, we’ve had a really good tournament but there is a case of what might have been. What might have been if we had put it to bed in the first half which should’ve done. What might have been if we had some game changers on the bench. What might have been, bearing in mind how the draw opened up which in all likelihood, won’t happen again. As has been pointed out by numerous other people, the English National football team has reconnected with the public after the all time low of the Iceland debacle which was after all, only two years ago. Gareth Southgate has undoubtedly been a massive improvement on Roy Hodgson and is probably the most likeable England manager this side of Bobby Robson. England lost this game because they didn’t take their chances in the first half and when Croatia got to grips with us and started asking questions of us, we didn’t adapt and we didn’t deal terribly well with the pressure that we were put under. If you’re being harsh then you would say it is pretty much as predicted. We would do okay until we came up against a good side and then defensively, we would be found wanting. The first goal was pretty bollocks but the second goal was appalling and you can’t give away goals like that at this level and expect to win many matches.

There are many who have come out of the World Cup with a reputations enhanced like Pickford, Trippier, Walker, Maguire, Stones, Henderson and Kane and there are some that have a little bit more to do like Dele Alli, Lingard and Sterling and some that just shouldn’t have been there like Young, Welbeck and Jones. Raheem Sterling - for all his running and work rate has the same attributes as Shane Long and that he doesn’t seem to have the faintest idea what to do with the ball when he’s got it.  I feel like we should’ve seen more of Ruben Loftus-Cheek who looked the best option in the front half of the pitch where the alternatives were all slightly underwhelming. Jamie Vardy never really got involved and Marcus Rashford look like a season of being undermined at club level has taken some of his confidence away. 

At the tournament, given the squad that he had there, I don’t think Southgate did too much wrong but I would take issue with some of the players that he picked for the squad, particularly the ones who you want to come on and make an impact. We really needed another creative midfielder and we also really needed a proper left back. Trippier was brilliant on the right hand side and just imagine if we’d of had the same sort of quality coming in from the left. We needed more creative midfielders, we needed some left sided balance, we needed a plan B.  There is work to do and I’m sure Southgate knows that.  Football didn’t come home, as that bloody song implies it might do one day but at least following England as a tournament was an enjoyable experience for once and one that people look forward to doing again in a couple of years.

So, Croatia against France who have got stronger and stronger as the tournament has gone on so I’m afraid I can’t see anything other than French win.

I had decided that I couldn’t be arsed to watch the third place play-off but come 3 o’clock on the Saturday, there I was watching the third place play-off. At least the managers took a relatively seriously this time with only a few changes each. Belgium started the game well and were in the lead in five minutes as Danny Rose totally lost Meunier who ran in from the Belgian right flank and connected with a cross and gave Pickford no chance. The rest of the first half was played a testimonial pace but Southgate improved things, taking off Rose and Sterling for Rashford and Lingard.  We were the better side in the second half until we got completely done on the break with Hazard scoring with ease.  Ah well – who cares?

A feature of this World Cup has been that there has been a lot of bollocks spoken, mainly by the Welsh, Scots and Irish. By that, I mean mainly the Welsh about the fact that we had a relatively comfortable path to the semi-final and we lost when we played a decent side etc etc. To them, I say this.

If you look at our recent tournament history it is this…. 2016 – Lost to Iceland, 2014 – out after two games, pathetic, 2012 – bored everyone to death, out on penalties to Italy, 2010 South Africa, smashed by Germany, 2008 – McClaren, did not qualify, 2006 – Portugal penalties, Rooney sent off, Sven clueless, 2004 – shone briefly, Portugal penalties, 2002 – sven clules, lost to 10 man Brazil, 2000 – Phil Neville.  We’ve been shit and underachieving for ages so this is better.

England have just finished fourth in the World Cup, a competition that every country in the World entered and all bar three of those countries would like to have finished where England have finished. We came fourth in a tournament that Brazil, Spain, Germany, Argentina, Italy, Holland and Wales were in and we did better than all of them. The team and the players have conducted themselves with the utmost respect and dignity which is a marked contrast to Wales at the Euros with their tinpot celebration video after England lost to Iceland. If there was ever a bigger display of arrogance and disrespect by an actual team than that, then answers on a postcard please. Also, because we have a bit of dignity and respect, we are not having any sort of open top bus parade for losing a semi-final. We will leave that to others.

Meanwhile, back with countries that actually matter in World football terms, France against Croatia.  Croatia are favourites because they have one of the best defenders in the world (© D.Lovren).  It was rather a silly proclamation to make by Mr Lovren when you consider that he’s about to play against Kylian Mbappe and Antoine Griezmann who are likely to tear him a new arsehole.

Finals tend not to live up to their billing but this one certainly did. Croatia were by far the better side in the opening 20 minutes with France looking like they didn’t really know what to do and how to handle the aggressive play in midfield from Croatia’s superb five of Perisic, Modric, Brozovic, Rakitic and Rebic. With virtually their first attack though, Griezmann took a horrible dive on the edge of the box and won a free kick. The shithouse himself took it and Croatia had got their defensive line all wrong and in the panic, Mandzukic nodded it past his own keeper. You would’ve thought that one of the best defenders in the world would have sorted the defensive line out properly.

Emotional Shithouse after Successfully Pulling Another Excellent Dive 

Back came Croatia from the injustice and a ball into the box was nodded down and Vida laid it back to Perisic who took a touch before drilling it past Lloris from the edge of the box. Game on and then just before half time, more bollocks. Over came a corner which was flicked on and it hit Perisic on the arm directly behind the guy who flicked it on. No penalty given by the referee but eventually, the VAR operators obviously made enough noise and told the referee that he had something to look at. Over he went and watched the TV before deciding that Perisic had clearly done it deliberately and that he had made a clear and obvious error in not awarding a penalty.  This is sarcasm.  Utter, utter bollocks. The beneficiary again was of course fucking Griezmann who slotted home the penalty to give France a totally underserved 2-1 lead at half time.

Bullshit!

The start of the second-half was even until the hour mark, when in exactly the same way that they had done in the Round of 16 game against Argentina, France upped a gear and scored twice in five minutes with near identical goals. Firstly Pogba had an effort blocked before picking up the rebound and passing it around the defender and into the net and then Mbappe drilled one in from roughly the same spot and none of the Croatian offenders, including one of the best defenders in the world, got close enough to stop the shot. 4-1 and game over.  Hugo Lloris then came up with an absolute classic. Mandzukic was the only Croatia player in the French half when Lloris tried to dribble around him on the 6 yard line and Mandzukic tackled the ball into the net. Another Croatia goal would have made for a hilarious last 10 minutes but sadly it wasn’t to be and France held out for what was ultimately a fairly comfortable win. To be honest, I probably just about deserved it but Croatia can have every reason to be pissed off with the officiating on the first two goals.

I didn’t know who I was going to want to win.  Normally it wouyld have been Croatia but they have Lovren but even that wasn’t enough to tip the balance.  We did get a close up of one of the best crying defenders in the world though so that was alright.  Arsehole.

Before the presentation it pissed down and I mean really pissed down.  President Emmanuel Macron of France and the wonderful President Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović of Croatia got absolutely soaked whilst Vlad the Impaler stood under a flunkey’s umbrella.  A really good tournament and a feather in the cap for Vladimir.  Well done.  For he’s a jolly good fellow.

When does the Premier League start?

Have a Losers Medal.  Dick Head