Premier League Match 21 - Manchester United 0 Southampton 0

Jose Searches out the Referee Whilst Maya Tells Shaw How Fat He Is.

So after the diabolical game against Spurs, we now have a trip to Manchester United.  At the start of the season they looked like they'd be the business this year but as Lukaku has faded, they're resorted to being like all the post-Ferguson United sides - too many draws against weaker opposition, too defensive, not enough inspiration etc.  It is amusing to me that they are also suffering by comparison to other sides as well, especially as the main negative comparison is against the other team in the same city.

In the aftermath of the Spurs game, as if almost to deflect attention away from how shit we were and what a mess everything is, the club issued a very short statement to the effect that Virgil van Dijk was going to Liverpool for £75 million. They were very keen to point out that this is a world record deal for a defender. They weren’t so quick to point out the 10% will go to Celtic and probably another percentage will go to Virgil himself because of the model professional way that he has acted.

Firstly, I’d like to say good fucking riddance and secondly, I’ve sort of surprised myself by actually not giving a shit too much that he is going to Liverpool. Of course I would’ve preferred it if he’d gone elsewhere because of the scummy way that Liverpool went about things in the summer, their ex-player media campaign and the more special element of their fanbase that flooded social media with endless shite.  Though he’s doubtlessly a world-class player when he wants to be, there is a part of me that thinks that he is such a complete shithouse that they are welcome to him and the two parties deserve each other.  Liverpool fans tries to troll me on Twitter but despite frothing at the mouth all last summer, I really can’t be arsed with them.  I’m guessing the Saints board thought that it might have turned out this way, hence why they didn’t push on with their complaint as they knew that they might want to sell to Liverpool one day if Virgil was a big enough dickhead.  They also probably knew that the FA wouldn’t have been tough enough to give Liverpool a transfer ban which is what they would have deserved.

Jose: I'm the Biggest Twat

Virgil: Hold My Beer

Shithousery has won the day though because let us not forget that this all started with Liverpool’s illegal approach and illegal meetings in the summer. I’d hazard a guess that they’ve been in touch just telling Virgil to be a twat all this season and he’s been happy to go along with that.  He must have been acting up this season because let’s face it, there is no way in this world that Saints would have sold him now unless he was being a complete wanker. After the summer and the non-bid from Liverpool and all the antics and hissy fits from the player, Saints would not have gone through all that and made a stand just to keep him a few months.  They would have been hoping that he would get his head down, be professional and play properly and be sold in the summer.  The fact that we are rushing through a sale, before the transfer window even opens tells us that they can’t wait to get rid.  Yes it’s undeniable that we need to strengthen elsewhere but nothing would be different in that regard even if we had a few more points on the board.

So, he’s clearly been acting up, regardless of his protestations to the contrary and though this will be overlooked by the media, it really shouldn’t be. Liverpool have been scummy fuckers and Virgil has been scummy fucker as well. What we have achieved by selling in January rather than last summer is to make Liverpool pay probably about £25 million more than they wanted to when they started the whole head-turning campaign. 

If Liverpool fans think that he is going to solve all their defensive issues then they are sadly mistaken.  Yes he’s better than all of their existing centre backs but whilst Klopp plays with no holding midfield players then they are always going to let in goals and I will laugh when Virgil coughs up a goal in the same way that I do when Lovren does.

So, we bought Virgil for £15 million two years and three months ago. For a year of that he's either been injured or acting like a prick so we’ve only had him fully functioning for about 15 months and in that time his price has gone up five fold. The fact that we got so much money for him is down to the fact that the club put a six year contract in front of him which he signed.  The club knew the day would come when one of the stupid rich clubs would come calling so they tied him down.  Now it’s over to the recruitment side of things to not only sign the attacking players we should’ve signed in the summer but also to sign at least one decent centre back. The excuses from last January when we failed to replace Jose Fonte will not wash this time.

Whilst we’re on the subject of Jose Fonte, he thought it was a good idea to post on social media specifically to Ryan Bertrand about Virgil leaving. The clear inference was the Bertrand would be next. Even if that wasn’t the intention (which I’m sure it was) then Fonte is a smart enough guy to know that that is how it’s going to be interpreted by the Southampton fan base.  He really is a bitter prick isn’t he?  My stance on him was beginning to soften a little bit but now I’m really back to hoping that Alan Pardew really was throwing one in Fonte’s wife whilst he was our manager and the reason that she wanted to move back to London also that she has a closer to where Pardew lives for some easy action when Jose’s out of town.

Pardew when Fonte's Wife Moved to London

Of course, attention will now turn to where we are going to spend the money but my first thought about that is that it won’t matter who we sign if Pellegrino is still in charge. I still standby the statement that we could sign Messi and Ronaldo and Pellegrino would first and foremost make sure but they were aware of their defensive responsibility. So, job number one has to get rid of this idiot we have as a manager. Job number two is to appoint a new manager which can run concurrently with job number three which is to get at least three new players in at the start of the transfer window. Theo Walcott’s name keeps coming up and if that happens (I remain to be convinced) then as he only has 6 months left on his contract, we should have plenty of change from the Virgil money to add another couple of good players, a centre back and a target man striker.  For me, the target man is absolutely vital.

The whole Virgil business makes no difference to today’s game against Man United where it appears that we will have the same shit manager, with his same shit ideas about selection and tactics.  I wonder what the difference will be?

Before the game came the news that Kelvin Davis has been made first team coach to replace Eric Black and so we make a goalkeeper a first team coach and then wow!  Fraser Forster has been dropped and Alex McCarthy has been thrown in for his first League game for anyone for a couple of years.  Total coincidence I’m sure.  McQueen is in for Targett and Pellegrino seems to have finally realised that Hojbjerg is one of our better players and he starts in midfield ahead of Lemina.  The forward four to hopefully cause some problems for United are JWP, Tadic, Boufal and bloody Shane Long.  It’s unreal how he’s been picked again.

It doesn’t matter where United are in the league, you look at their 11 players and you see very good players like Pogba, Lukaku, Mata, Matic, de Gea but these days you also see some average players like Lingard, Shaw, Jones, Mkhitaryan and Young and some shit ones like Lindelof.  He might be shit but he cost £30 million.  Jose Mourinho’s classic deflection tactiucs have come to the fore recently.  He complained after a 2-2 draw with Burnley that United have only spent £300 million so how can they compete.  Lunatic.  Hopefully he’ll be making more idiotic comments after today.

Pogba is obviously going to be the main man for them and everything is going through him as he finds Mata on the right who works himself a yard on McQueen and digs over a good cross towards the massive 6 foot plus centre forward who Yoshida has somehow lost and Lukaku rises unchallenged to head over the bar.  Lucky.  After that initial scare, Saints start getting into the game and there are gaps all over the place with Tadic sliding a ball through to Boufal on the right and he pulls it back from the by-line and JWP meets it on the penalty spot but there’s always going to be a problem with de Gea in goal because he’s so ridiculously good and he superbly gets a hand to it down low and keeps it out.

United, as they are prone to do under Mourinho, go long towards Lukaku and there’s a clash of heads between Lukaku and Hoedt in which the united player comes off worse and he’s on the ground and out of it for five minutes until they can stretcher him off and bring on Rashford.  There are no United fans singing songs about Lukaku’s cock.  If they’d sung that it may have made him feel better.  Back to the game and United are not the only ones playing long ball.  We go long, Shane Long, as Hojbjerg clears a ball miles out of defence and Long scurries off after Lindelof, gets in front of him and collapses, winning us a free kick on the edge of the penalty area.  JWP curls it in but instead of going for the far post, goes for the near and doesn’t get enough height on it so de Gea saves comfortably.  From the corner, United break on us and it’s 3v3 but the ball is with Mkhitaryan and his cross is fucking dreadful.  I’m watching on BT Sport and it’s described by co-commentator and former United player Owen Hargreaves as ‘slightly innacurate’.

Saints are the better side and we do actually look dangerous, due to the main to us actually getting players near the striker.  We have another great chance from a JWP corner which Hoedt reaches unchallenged but it slides off his head and keeps going.  Again the long ball from United is their best option because it takes out the need for Mkhitaryan to cross the ball.  We don’t clear it and Mata gets a shot away which McCarthy claims well.  Shock of shocks then when United actually build down our right and Mkhitaryan does put a cross near a United player and it’s Lingard, who has been lost again by Yoshida but he doesn’t get anything on the header and it drifts harmlessly wide.

United are building pressure as Young gets in a cross from the right and Rashford heads over, no doubt put off by the flying McCarthy who doesnl;t get anywhere near the cross.  The next United attack sees a bit of pinball and the ball ping into Maya Yoshida’s arm as he tries to get back into position.  Loads of appeals, nothing from the referee.  In my book, that’s handball but in the book that matters, it has to be deliberate so it’s not a pen.

As we approach half time, Juan Mata, who I always thought was a decent guy, seems to be completely losing his rag.  Firstly he tries to pick a fight with Hojbjerg after the Saints man had been fouled and then he loses his rag with McQueen who was about to take a throw in.  Anywhere else you get booked for that but United at Old Trafford, nope.

Half time and we’ve played pretty well to be fair though there is much shitting on, on BT Sport about the handball incident.  Rightly or wrongly (wrongly in my book) the rule states that it has to be deliberate and there is no way that Maya meant to do that.  There’s no way he meant to lose the player he was marking twice either but that’s the way it goes.

The second half starts in much the same vein as the first ended. United are only dangerous from a long ball or a break away after we’ve had a corner so when Rashford gets free on our right it’s looking a bit scary until McQueen hammers back and puts in a great tackle.  The biased commentary is incredible.  If that had been Boufal getting tackled then it would have been ‘should have released it, no end product’ etc but because it was Rashford there is silence.  No criticism of Rashford and no praise for McQueen.

There is more silence from Hargreaves when some footage is shown of Ashley Young clearly elbowing Tadic in the stomach from the corner that preceded the break away.  No words from Owen, even though it’s clear as day.  You could have talked about how it was completely deliberate and how Saints should have had a penalty but no.  Let’s pretend it didn’t happen and that the pictures lie.  I’m sure the FA will do the same like they did with Dele Alli’s dive.

Saints are playing the more controlled football and Tadic plays a ball to JWP on the right and he curls over a low first time cross.  Lindelof is favourite but he dawdles and Long shows great movement to dart in front of him and hit it goalwards first time and de Gea, going the wrong the way, sticks out a foot and the ball hits it and somehow arches up and over the bar.  It’s a good effort by Shane and it’s brilliant and lucky in equal measure from de Gea.

United summon another £30 million player from the bench as Martial replaces Mkhitaryan who has been dreadful.  Sure he’s playing on the left whereas he usually is on the other side but his distribution has been terrible – mind you, so has Rashford’s and Lingard’s but they get away with the stick from the United crowd for some reason.  Martial’s first involvement is to run at the defence and launch himself after the slightest touch by Romeu.  From the free kick, Young’s effort hits the wall and goes wide.

Gabbi is on for Long who has done well to be fair, without of course looking like much of a goal threat and as we go into the last ten minutes it’s looking pretty comfortable until Boufal brings down the little shit Ashley Young and it’s a United free kick on the right.  In it comes and it all gets a bit untidy and Matic pokes it goalwards, McCarthy can’t get a touch and Pogba knocks it in from about a yard out.  Fuck it… haaaaaaaaaaa… offside!  It’s amusing because it was going in anyway so if Pogba had left it then no worries for United.

Tadic and Boufal are off to be replaced by Lemina and Redmond and we see it out quite comfortably.  There are a couple of hairy moment but the defence stood firm with Stephens pulling a out a very good clearance to deny Lingard in the last minute, spooning the ball up in the air to allow McCarthy to claim.  A very good point which was ultimately, earned quite comfortably.

Following Mourinho’s rant about not spending enough money last week, I wonder he really cares too much about dropping two points today. He knows that they are not going to win the league this year so as long as he finishes in the top four then his job is safe. He obviously wants the United hierarchy to sanction some ridiculous spending in January. He went shitting on about the penalty they maybe should’ve had in the first half which is classic Mourinho to deflect away from the fact that they didn’t have a fucking shot in the second half with their team that cost just shy of £400 million. You would think that a £400 million team playing at home could muster more than a couple of efforts against a team that’s been playing absolute bollocks since the start the season. Anyway, I don’t give a flying fuck about United and their problems or the negligible tosser that is Mourinho.

Saints were excellent today and thoroughly deserve that point, in fact it was quite an easy point as we protected Alex McCarthy to such a degree that he didn’t have to make a save in the second half. We got away with a couple of trademark lapses in concentration by Yoshida in the first half when he twice lost the player he was supposed to be marking and allowed free headers that Lukaku and Linguard should’ve done better with and We got a bit fortunate when Pogba decided to get a touch on that ball that was rolling into the net anyway but other than that we were worthy of a point

And if we have a striker worthy of the name, we would have won it. I have to say that today Pellegrino got it right. I was expecting five at the back but the four defenders chosen did a good job. There was little need for Jack Stephens to attack so he was okay at right back but we really can’t be playing him there in a home game. Further forward, Shane Long did exactly what you know he’s going to do in that he ran around, put loads of pressure on their defenders and didn’t score but he was unfortunate with the shot that de Gea turned over the bar with his foot. Another key difference today was the fact that the attacking midfielders got closer to the striker. There were times when we genuinely had a front four when you had JWP crossing, Long in attack, Boufal in the box and Tadic in close proximity is well. If we keep playing like that and concentrate on getting forwards in the box and the goals will start to come. Ironically, Shane Long play pretty well today in his limited way but I Gabbiadini would also have done well today because of the midfielders support.

The two standout players were Hojbjerg and Wesley Hoedt who were both absolutely magnificent from start to finish, strongly backed up by Sofiane Boufal, JWP, Sam McQueen and McCarthy who did everything that he could’ve done and come away with a deserved clean sheet. With the Virgil circus leaving town, we needed Wesley had to stand up and be counted and he did completely do that, stepping into his fellow Dutchman’s shoes with no problem at all. We have been needing existing players to step into the shoes of those that have departed and Wesley really looks like he’s ready to do that.

For the next game against Crystal Palace at home, there are a couple of tweaks that Pellegrino can make but he has to leave the core of the side in place. I’ve maybe look at Pied playing instead of Stephens and Gabbiadini for Long but other than that, stick to the same side and let’s try and get a bit of cohesion and most importantly, a win.  Todays point is only good point if we can back it up on Tuesday.