Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Premier League Match 29 - Southampton 1 Sunderland 1


Virgil Secures Player of the Season

Sunderland are in town hoping to not get beaten 8-0 again like they were last time.  In truth, much water has flowed under bridges since then as since that day, Sunderland have sacked Gus Poyet, hired Dick Advocaat, stayed up, seen Dick resign, seen Dick change his mind, seen Dick leave by mutual consent, appointed Sam Allardyce, sign a load of new players and harbour a paedophile.

Usually at this point I talk about what’s been going on with Saints since the last game but there’s not been much.  Shane Long is out for one match and Charlie Austin for about a month.  Sunderland on the other hand have had the Adam Johnson situation.  On the face of it, the club had been aware of his guilt in kissing a 15 year old since the start of this season but they have continued to play him and hid the fact that they knew.  It also appears that the PFA knew all about it as well but now it’s all gone very quiet with the only sound being people desperately covering their arse which ironically, is probably what Adam Johnson will be doing in prison.  I would be very very uncomfortable if my club had hidden the fact that we were playing a player who had done that and admitted to it.  I wonder if Fat Sam knew – I’d like to think that he didn’t as whilst I don’t like the way his teams play football, he doesn’t seem the type of bloke who’d play Johnson if he had known.  He seems like the type who would have kicked seven bells of shit out of him.  Moving on…

UPDATE:  The Sunderland CEO has thrown herself under a bus and said she acted alone and no one else at the club knew.  OK then….

I assumed we’d have three at the back but it’s a back 4 with Martina at right back and Cédric on the bench.  Ok then.  Clasie is back in midfield with Romeu and Steve Davis and we have last seasons front three in Tadic, Mané and Pellè.  On the bench is a new name and what a name in Olofela Olomolo who’s an Under 18s striker and is destined to be the scourge of stadium announcers everywhere.  He’s on the bench due to the injuries to Austin, Long, J-Rod and Ryan Seager.  We do have another striker on the bench but it’s Juanmi.  Sunderland have a few different players to last year and Jermain Defoe is on the bench.  In goal they have Mannone who gave us one of the worst performances by a keeper at St Mary’s ever in his last appearance here.

The game has a strange start as we attack down the right, lose the ball and it get cleared as far as Khazri on the left wing about 40 yards out and he seems to have a fit of temper and lashes it straight out for a corner for us.  Very odd.  The corner is cleared and then the same player trashes through the back of Mané, gets a yellow card and gives us a free kick.  It’s in exactly the same position as Ritchie’s was for Bournemouth on Tuesday and Bertrand tries to whip in the same style of free kick (hammering it at the goal) but puts too much height on it.

Graziano hasn’t scored since Rome was built and you can see why when he gets the ball in a lot of space on the edge of the box but instead of taking it on and shooting he just balloons a first time effort closer to the corner flag than the goal.  Our next chance is a very good one and it’s promising for later as Mané gets down the left and chips it in to Pellè who heads down perfectly for Tadic to shoot but he bounces it into the ground and it flips up at a nice height for Mannone to push over the bar.  Bertrand’s corner is straight to the keeper who we are making look good when he really isn’t.

To be fair to Sunderland, they are having their moments and to be fair to Fat Sam, they’re not just wellying the ball up to N’Doye.  He picks it up on the Saints right and Virgil is across and takes him out.  It’s not that bad and there’s no injury but there’s an audible blood curdling girlie scream and so Virgil goes in the book.  Khazri is on the free kick and he’s obviously been watching the second Bournemouth goal as he curls it towards the back past from miles out and Fraser again seems rooted too the spot before flailing his arms about at the last minute and he gets lucky as he flaps it onto the post and Kirchoff hits the rebound miles over.

The game is pretty dull and so is the chanting from the Sunderland end.  I can’t hear all the words but it’s the latest trendy chant with “….I just don’t think you understand” in it.  Boring as fuck and van Aanholt gets down the left and puts over a decent ball which Rodwell meets and skews his volley into the crowd.  Rodwell was of course a good player once when he was at Everton but he followed the money to Man City and his career died before he moved on to Sunderland… a bit like Adam Johnson really but without being a nonce.

Playing well for Saints is Oriol Romeu and he starts a flowing move which goes through Pellè and Bertrand whose low cross is met by the sliding Spaniard but he can’t get enough on it to beat Mannone.  The last action of the first half is the 6 foot 4 Kirchoff having a massive dive when challenged by the giant that is Jordy Clasie.  It’s too pathetic for words.  The lino has given it from 5 yards away and the ref almost seems to apologise to Clasie as he comes over.

If anything we’ve been the better side without looking fluent and the front three look woefully out of form.  Pellè is at least bringing others into play but Tadic and Mané are way off the pace.  So, when your front three are not on it, you need to get your set pieces right so winning three corners at the start of the second half and seeing Davis hit the first man twice and then Bertrand clear everyone and out for a goal kick… is very frustrating.

Borini has a couple of chances for Sunderland, firstly dropping out to pick up a van Dijk clearing header and volleying just over and then trying to score from a tight angle which Fraser blocked well.  There’s then a spate of substitutions which brings Defoe on for them, whilst we take off Clasie and Davis and throw on JWP and make the curious decision to play with ten as fucking Juanmi comes on.

Khazri is one of the more annoying players I’ve ever seen and then he goes ‘full pathetic’.  After a nothing clash with Graziano, he goes down when there’s nothing wrong.  Pellè clearly thinks he’s being ridiculous and tries to pull him to his feet but he wrestles himself away and throws himself to the floor again like a three year old having a massive tantrum in a supermarket aisle whilst his mother sighs and everyone else looks away, glad that it’s not their child.  What a wanker.

On we go with nothing much happening aside from Juanmi getting brushed off the ball with ease before Fat Sam decides to remove Khazri as it’s embarrassing and on comes one of my favourite players, Seb Larsson, he with the face of someone chewing a wasp which was licking piss off a stinging nettle.  Straight after that…. disaster as a ball forward finds Borini and he’s suddenly away from Fonte who has the choice of ‘let him shoot’ or ‘dive in’.  He opts for the latter and it’s kind of a wrestling throw tackle which he tries to make look like an untidy challenge but the ref has blown and he’s off.  Bollocks.

The free kick from van Aanholt is well saved by Fraser and we eventually bring on Yoshida for Mané and within a minute he’s allowed Kone to beat him with ease in the box and feed it across to where Defoe is and he isn’t going to miss and 1-0, ten men and 10 to go.  The Northam respond to our plight with a chant of ‘paedo, paedo, paedo’ at the Sunderland fans which is rather simple and rather disgracefully, there’s a rush for the exits in all four of our stands which doesn’t improve my mood.

So what are these twats going to miss?  Well, quite a lot as we start playing with a bit of intensity going forward.  Martina bursts forward and slides a ball too far in front of Pellè before getting involved again and getting on the end of a short pass in the box and side footing straight at Mannone when he really should have laced it.  Virgil is playing up front and we have a kind of 2-3-3 formation going on.  I know that’s one player less than ten but we have Juanmi on the pitch.  Fat Sam takes off Kirchoff and brings on O’Shea as he’s panicking but too late as Tadic picks it up on the left and pulls it back low and Virgil has pulled away from his defender and whips a first time shot inside the near post to make it 1-1.  What a finish that it.  Deserved.  The Sunderland players are shattered and another 2 minutes and I think we could have won it but there’s only another 30 seconds.  It’s a great goal and a great moment and one of the best things about it is that all the Saints fans who in a show of true support, fucked off when the Sunderland goal went it will have missed it.

It’s odd how this game has been reported in the media in that it appears we somehow robbed them of two points by equalising in the last minute when we had ten players.  If you look at the game overall there was only one side that deserved to win it and that was us.  Their keeper kept them in it and they never really looked like scoring until Fonte got sent off.  They’ll see it as a perfect away performance until the last minute.  Keep it tight, nick a goal and hold on… whoops.  Fat Sam was bemoaning the fact that they sat back but hang on... he took off a midfielder and put on a centre back so by definition he was inviting it.

I have no complaints about the red card and José had to go.  I thought at that point though that Ronald took the wrong player off as Mané was beginning to show signs of life and we could have done with his pace as an outlet.  He should have been brutal about it and taken Juanmi straight off again.  That bloke is absolute bollocks though that’s not really fair as ‘bollocks’ do at least have a purpose.  There is nothing about him that suggests there’s a Premier League footballer in there – nothing at all.  I’ve downgraded him to ‘worse than Mayuka’ which takes some doing.  At least Mayuka had pace – this guy has nothing.  It was good to see Olomola on the bench but I knew that Juanmi would get on first but there’s no point in putting him on, ever.  He’s shit and I hope we fuck him off back to Spain as soon as possible as we don’t want him hanging around picking up wages for three years.  Not a season long loan, not a try before you buy, just get shot of him.

We weren’t great today of course but we still did enough to win.  The final third was generally poor with Mané still playing at Salford level and Tadic not putting in a decent ball all game until the last minute.  I thought Pellè did ok in the main but he’s devoid of confidence in front of goal.  When we are struggling to score and our strikers aren’t really on it, we need to have JWP on the pitch.  When he’s not the set pieces are fucking awful.  That little spate of corners hitting the first man or clearing everyone just makes me angry.  It’s such a waste when you have a flappy goalkeeper like Mannone against you and an ideal chance to put him under pressure.

Talking of flappy goalkeepers, Fraser did ok aside from that free kick in the first half which was horrible again as he froze (a la Bournemouth) but he just about got away with it…. And then there was Virgil van Dijk – Player of the Season.  I’ll be amazed if anyone else even gets a vote for them aside from their immediate family.  He was magnificent throughout yet again and of course he scored and what a great finish.  The other stand out player was Oriol Romeu who did all his usual work in winning the ball back but also drove the team forwards and he’s a good passer of the ball as well.  The defence in the main coped well but why on earth was Martina playing.  There are two different Martina’s – pre and post Arsenal Wondergoal.  Pre-Arsenal, I thought he was dogshit, then post-Arsenal you think that there might be something worth persevering with but there really isn’t.  Today he broke well and got in good positions but his ball into the box was uniformly terrible.  Cédric wasn’t great against Bournemouth but then, no one was so why leave him out today when we needed some quality coming in from the flanks.  There is no hiding that Yoshida was weak as you like on the goal as well and it’s an area we need to address and soon, Maybe Florin Gardos is the answer to maybe Jack Stephens or Jason McCarthy but it needs sorting.

We’ve slid down the table a bit and currently sit in 9th but still in touch with the top 6.  Chelsea are lurking ominously behind us though so it’s going to be tough and we need to go on another run again or else (stating the obvious) we’re going to end up 13th and falling behind teams like Stoke and West Brom.  It was a bit odd today that it was only when we went down to 10 that we played with anything like the urgency we played with when he humped this lot 8-0 last season.  It just shows how much you can achieve by being positive and playing with energy, regardless of how many players you have on the pitch.


Next up is the big question – can we do it at Stoke?

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