Complete Your Weekend With a Picture of Ballsack Looking Miserable.
Well it looked like it was going to be a chance to put a
nail in Redknapp’s coffin but as it turned out, by the time the game had come
around, Redknapp had jumped in his own coffin and managed to nail it down. He wasn’t pushed allegedly, oh no, he jumped. Or did he jump… he’s got a dodgy knee after
all which is why he jumped… with one leg, obviously. Now I’m not questioning ‘Arry’s integrity at
all here but a month ago he gave an interview where he said he was the first
man on the training pitch and the last to leave and that he loved his life and
walked his dogs every day. Now he’s
quitting because he can’t walk and has a dodgy knee. I don’t believe that the passing of a transfer
window when he didn’t sign a single player had anything to do with it either,
oh no… nor 11 away defeats in a row, nor another relegation staring him in the
face. Tony Fernandes, the Rangers owner
then came out and gave the description of the type of manager he’d like at QPR,
how he has to work with what he’s got and play the youth and all those things
that are the complete opposite to what ‘Arry does. Still, dodgy knee, that’ll be it. Tosser.
So, Redknapp does his usual and leaves a team in a worse state than he found it but having spent millions and lumbered the new manager with the job of shifting the 35 year old deadwood on 3 year contracts. The amusing thing is that the favourite to get the QPR job
is Captain Massive Helmet Colossal Bellend himself, Tim Sherwood. This is because his coaching staff at Spurs,
Les Ferdinand and Chris Ramsey are now with QPR. This appointment hasn’t happened yet though
so Ramsey is in the dugout today, trying to right Redknapp’s dreadful
mismanagement. Let us not forget also
that Glenn Hoddle was working under Redknapp as well and he quit rather than
stick his head above the parapet which was a bit odd I thought. QPR are basically a likeable club so I hope
they sort themselves out and that starts after this game.
Since our last game, the transfer window has ended and
despite the fact that Clyne, Schneiderlin and Rodriguez were all leaving (or
being carried in Jay’s case), none of them did and we added to the squad with
attacking midfielder Filip Djuricic joining on loan. What we also had was Ryan Bertrand joining permanently
for a fee of anywhere between £8.5 and £10 million depending on what you
read. Overall I’d say that’s pretty good
business….sell Fatty Shaw for £27m and sign Bertrand for £10m. Ronald seemed
happy enough anyway though he did stress the need to qualify for Europe this
season to have a chance of keeping our best players and that’s the key – you’d
have to admit you were leaving for the money if the club you were with had
qualified for the Champions League.
The team today looked quite exciting on paper. With Djuricic still waiting for a work permit
and Bertrand being suspended, we named Matt Targett at left back and Dusan
Tadic was dropped with Elia and Mané starting a game together for the first
time. The big news was that Big Vic was
back in place of Harrison Reed and Morgan Schneiderlin made it back as far as
the bench which suddenly didn’t have an average age of 14. Ramsey had unsurprisingly changed things
about from Mr Ballsack’s last selection but he still had a 36 year old centre
half at left back. He recalled Adel
Taraabt who every time I’ve seen him, has done one brilliant thing a game and
then spent the remaining minutes until he gets substituted being shite. Up front they have Charlie Austin who not
only scores all of their goals but he also always scores against us, be it for Swindon,
Burnley or QPR.
After a cagey opening five minutes the game comes to life as
we build up from defence down the right.
Clyney, Big Vic and JWP are all involved and the ball is slotted through
to Elia who is about 40 yards out but he’s spotted that Rob Green has come out
into no mans land and he’s tried to do at Big Vic at Hull and smash it straight
in, only to beat the keeper and see it sail five yards wide. What the fuck was Green doing? A few weeks ago he got away with handling
outside his box and he’s been lucky here.
If Elia’s shot had been closer to him he’d have handled it and he was
outside his box again. Get in your
fucking goal you idiot.
Taraabt gets himself on the ball and megs JWP who turns and
chases the ball but Taraabt has made the slightest contact with him and flops
to the ground and the referee buys it.
Fuck off. The Rangers fans love
it though as they’ve been fed a diet of shite this season and the free kick
gets nodded out as far as Barton who lashes it over the bar.
Elia and Mané are both finding space behind the QPR midfield
and Barton takes one for the team by trashing Mané to give us a free kick. JWP delivers into the right area and Big Vic
shanks an effort wide for a goal kick.
If you had an effort on goal like that in a Sunday League match then
half of your team mates would be laughing at you or calling you a wanker. I’m guessing that no one said anything to Big
Vic.
Following that, QPR welly the ball out to their right wing
and Matt Targett goes up for it with Matt Phillips who catches him with a
leading arm and Targett is motionless on the pitch where he lands. This is not good, 7 minutes later, stretcher
on, neck brace on, off he goes to be replaced with Florin Gardos with Maya getting
shoved over to left back. It’s interesting
that football gets a lot of bad press but player safety was paramount here
which is interesting when compared to the way George North was unconscious
twice in yesterdays Wales v England rugby match and still carried on.
The substitution has not stopped our domination of the game
and Mané again finds space before drilling a 30 yarder along the ground which
Green saves at full stretch. More of the
same a few minutes later as JWP finds Mané who knocks it into space behind Hill
and it gone but Caulker does enough to put him off and his shot from the edge
of the box on the stretch doesn’t have enough on it to seriously test Green who
pushes it behind for a corner. Over goes
JWP to swing it out and José Fonte meets it on the volley with his shin and it
smacks off the middle of the bar and out again before being cleared.
Graziano appears to be playing a bit deeper today to allow
the pacy boys to do their stuff and it works to great effect soon after as he
turns a lovely first time ball around the corner and Elia is away behind Onouha
but he can’t get the eventual shot across the keeper and Green saves at the
near post. The final action of the first
half is again as a result of a good passing move with Elia getting brought down
by Dunne and the ball lodging between his thighs which gives Dunne the chance
to smash the ball and Eljero’s bollocks which he gleefully takes. I’m amazed more wasn’t made of this, either
by the referee of by the other Saints players.
I’ll excuse Elia for not getting involved as he was busy writing in
agony and checking to make sure his balls were still where they should be and
not in his throat. Anyway, after all
that we have a free kick right on the edge of the box and JWP tries to go round
the wall but starts it off too wide and it doesn’t curl back in enough.
Half time and though we’ve been the better side by a mile
and had all the chances it was still 0-0 and Austin hadn’t scored yet. Mind you, he’d hardly touched the ball with
the service from Taraabt, Phillips and Traore being as bollocks as a Harry
Redknapp excuse.
The opening of the second half was dull with Traore heading
into the side netting after Clyney had made a bit of a bollocks of a Phillips
cross which surprised everyone by staying on the pitch. Hill picked up an inevitable booking for
catching Mané and on the hour mark, Big Vic’s day was done and on came Morgan
Schneiderlin.
We weren’t playing as much football as in the first half and
a lot was failing on our final ball.
Pellè was looking knackered and continually losing out and JWP and Davis
were trying to get the quick lads away and though they made good runs, the ball
to them was always lacking. Route 1 was
attempted with a Gardos clearance, a Pellè flick on and Sadio lashed it first
time into the top row of the Loftus Subbuteo Stadium.
Mauro Zarate was on for QPR in place of Taraabt who had
contributed precisely nothing. Zarate is
the player they’ve just got on loan from West Ham who ‘Arry then decided to try
and send back so he could loan Matt Jarvis.
Anyhow, he’s on and he gets on the end of Phillips’ 2nd
on-pitch cross and forces Fraser into a comfortable save which he would have
taken in his sleep. Up the other end and
Mané plays a 1-2 with Pellè and it looks like he’s in but Caulker again gets
back to block and Green flops on the loose ball.
We are then extremely grateful to our own keeper as QPR get
a corner which is cleared as far as Barton who smashes it back in towards
goal. Austin sticks a foot out to no
doubt score his obligatory goal against Saints but Fraser instinctively throws
up a right arm and somehow manages to shovel it over the bar. What a fucking save that is. OK, he’s got a bit lucky as it’s hit his
upper arm and gone over but the reactions are first class. If a Man United keeper does that then it’s on
TV for the next 10 years.
As time runs down, Tadic comes on so Elia can go and count
his balls again and the new man immediately gives the ball away and Zarate cuts
in from the left and fires over the bar.
The will be an additional 4 minutes.
The first three minutes are end to end and nothing much
happening and then Caulker rumbles forward and passes straight to Tadic on the
right wing. He plays a 1-2 with Clyney
and spreads the play to Yoshida who has come up from left back. A first time ball in to Sadio’s feet and he
rolls away from Onouha and with his left foot, smashes it past Green and into
the top tight corner. You little fucking
beauty.
Even with 94 minutes of the 94 gone – we still find a way to
give everyone the shits and the best Rangers move of the match sees a cross
come in from the right and then a challenge send the ball miles up in the
air. Down it comes on Fraser who tries
to catch it when he really should have used his 6 foot 7 to punch the ball
miles but Onouha bundles into him and the ball drops and ends up in the net. It has to be a foul but then all the Saints
players are round the referee and for a second I shat myself that he’d given it
but he’s given offside. He later said
that if it wasn’t offside he’d have given the foul so fair enough. Fuck me we’ve won again and are back up to 3rd. It’s all completely mad.
The only thing that could have made this any more beautiful
would have been that ‘Arry was still in charge and this result got him
sacked. Can you imagine the
twitch-per-minute count in the post match interview? We made hard work of it but we totally
deserved to win the game and that’s what successful teams do – they find a way
to win, be it in the first minute or the last.
Ignoring the fact that we took 94 minutes to find a goal for
a moment, it’s another triumph for Koeman and his tactical nous. Back when we had a run of defeats and
injuries, he changed to 3 at the back for the Everton game and we won
comfortably. Recenky we’ve been
struggling to create chances so he changes it again and plays both Elia and
Mané to put the slow QPR back line under pressure. Today we created chances and could have
scored a lot more than we did. Other
positives were of course another clean sheet and the returns of Big Vic and
Morgan. On the other side we’ve got a
bit of a left back crisis with Ryan Bertrand having 2 more games on his
suspension and Matt Targett out for the next game at least. Maya slotted in well there today but of
course you lose the attacking threat from full back. Having said that, it was Maya who got the
assist for the goal. The other negative
was that Graziano looked completely fucked during this game. His touch was heavy and he didn’t seem to
have the strength to hold off the defenders.
The bloke is knackered and needs a rest but there’s no chance of him
getting one with J-Rod expected to be out all season and Sam Gallagher only
just returning to the Under-21’s.
Next up we have West Ham at home. They drew at home to Man United on Sunday
when they conceded a last minute equalizer after United had thrown on Fellaini
and gone ‘get it in the mixer’ like they did against us. That’s what you get when you spend £150m on
your team I guess. Tossers. The irony of
Fat Sam bemoaning that his team couldn’t deal with ‘long ball’ United was lost
on no one. West Ham are decent this
season though so this will be a tough game.
When we beat them 3-1 at Upton Park at the start of the season they had
no Valencia, no Sakho and no Carroll either so this will be different. Andy Carroll has his critics but it can’t be
denied that he’s brilliant in the air so Florin Gardos is going to have to man
up in this game and deal with it. Pussy
footing around and getting shoved about is not an option. At the other end of the pitch I look forward
to Joey O’Brien trying to deal with Elia and Mané. Sadio is now 4 goals in 4 starts and to think
of the amount of stick he was getting a while ago. As unbelievable as it sounds, some fans might
not know what they are talking about.
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