NPC Match 30 - Southampton 2 Burnley 0

1 Lambert, 1 Lallana, 0 Jay Rods

If we are going to finish in the top 2, it’s pretty obvious that our current form is not going to do it and  at some point, things are going to have to change for the better.  That point is now with the visit of Moaning ‘Bournemouth for Life’ Eddie and his Burnley side.  They have some decent players, especially up front with Charlie Austin, who always scores against Saints and Jay Rodriguez who allegedly turned down a move to us in the summer in possibly the same way that Eddie Howe turned down the managerial post at St.Mary’s.  I’m inclined to believe there was more truth in the Jay Rod story.

So, we didn’t sign Jay Rod from the frozen wastelands of the North but we did sign Billy Sharp and he’s making his first start today in what looks a very strong team.  Everyone is available and I expect, like I did, that Nigel was scribbling line-ups on a piece of paper from Friday morning onwards.  I had Joe Hart in goal but him aside as he didn’t join as an emergency loan, our line-ups would have been the same.  Guly was on the right wing in place of the unlucky Punch who dropped to the bench and Big Jos was back to partner Jose Fonte.  Frazer Richardson had obviously been practicing goalkeeping during the week as there was no Bart on the bench and there was also no room for Barney, Chappers, Ben Reeves or Yago Falque.  Strength.

Before the game we had heard that West Ham’s game at Peterborough had been called off so it was a decent chance to close the gap to two points as well as hopefully put a bit of daylight between us and 3^rd place.  3pm and there’s a decent crowd in place, I have a pop at a few people who didn’t come to the Millwall game with me and freeze to death, the Chuckle Brothers are in the building and the season starts now.  Lets go.

Straight away my eyes were on the new boy as Cork found him with a decent ball and Billy was robbed as he went to pull the trigger.  Even in the first couple of minutes there was the feeling that we were not going to be fannying around today when it came to shooting.  Frazer was getting down the wing well and working well with Guly but his first cross was overhit and landed in the Chapel.

Usually it’s me who does this but today it was the old man who said that “Frazer’s crossing has really gone to pot hasn’t it” which ensured that having taken on the full back and reached the by-line, the cross from Richardson was perfect for Adam Lallana to ghost in off the left wing and flick the header over Grant in the Burnley goal.   I’ve had a regular moan at the standard of Adam’s attempted headed efforts on goal but his was superb. Lovely goal and 1-0 and less than 10 minutes gone.

Eddie Howe must have been starting his post-match misery early as Fox wanted to win the ball more than Trippier down our left and having got to the line, rolled it back to Sir Rickie whose sidefoot blast was instinctively tipped wide by Grant.  The resulting corner from Lallana was met by the big man again and his looping header was over Grant and on the way in before it was nodded away by a Burnley defender from under the bar.

Burnley decide that it’s time to try out the grass in our half of the pitch and Tracy fires in a volley from 25 yards which was well hit and Superkelv made it look very very easy as he plucked it out of the air.  This was but a brief interlude in Saints attacking play and Sharp fastened onto another Cork pass and just failed to lift it over the keeper but on the half hour it was 2-0 as Sir Rickie picked up the ball on the left and floated a lovely ball over the centre back to Billy Sharp who tried to bring it down as Mee challenged him and somehow the ball ended up in the net.  Billy didn’t celebrate like he’s just scored though he did try and tell the ref that he’s got a touch on the way back to the centre.  The stadium announcer gave Billy the goal and I guess everyone was happy, especially those who had money on it.

For the rest of the half we were walking in a Sir Rickie Lambert wonderland as he led the rest of the lads in wave after wave of pressure on the Burnley goal.  Tracy stopped a Frazer cross with his bollocks which is always amusing when an opposition player is bent double on the pitch and Grant was showing up well in goal though and was very positive in everything he did, even if he didn’t always take the ball cleanly.  For all the pretty football and pressure though, we still went in just the two goals to the good.

Half time and the good days of the start of the season were back as we comfortably led and the opposition had all the problems.  A great depression could be sensed coming from the Burnley dressing room but to be fair to laughing Eddie, he tried to be positive and brought on two subs to try and get a foothold in the game.  The two subs were both ex-Bournemouth players with Marvin Bartley (last seen giving a penalty away here last season and throwing a big tantrum) and Josh McQuoid coming on.  Tracy is one of those who has been subbed so maybe his bollocks injury was worse than we thought.

Bartley in particular started the second half well and got Burnley moving forward and giving Corky and Morgan something to think about in midfield.  Burnley had a bit of decent possession for ten minutes and forced a few corners but didn’t look like scoring in the slightest as the imperious Jose Fonte and Jos Hooiveld kept Jay Rod and Austin in their respective pockets.  The closest Burnley got to scoring was a scramble which McQuoid swung a boot at and missed, enabling Superkelv to drop on the ball.

With Bartley running the show, something had to change and it did when Morgan kicked him up in the air which succeeded in slowing him down and at least avoided a repeat of the Millwall game in the week when we just let their influential midfield stroll about in his own acre of grass.  On the hour mark, Billy Sharp is replaced with David Connolly and he immediately looks a different player to how he’s been for the past few weeks.  Put it down to competition for places I guess.

Burnley’s brief spell is over now and Sir Rickie is still having a worldy of a game and combines with Corky to set up Lallana whose shot is blocked by Grant who knows nothing about it at all.  Sir Rickie then beats the left back and gets to the line, pulling it back to Connolly whose effort is scrambled away for a corner by a desperate defender.  A couple of weeks ago I was moaning that no one would have a shot and thankfully that’s all over now.  Even so, Guly could have chosen to do something other than whoosh it over the bar from miles out after a 20+ pass ‘take the piss’ move featuring every outfield player and a bit of Ole from the crowd.

The closest we get to scoring again is when Sir Rickie heads a Superkelv clearance past a defender before smashing the dropping ball goalwards from 25 yards.  Grant paddles it away to where Connolly meets it and puts it into the net, setting off on a big celebration in front of the Northam – the kind of celebration that makes opposition fans go ‘Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’ when the lino’s got his flag up. 

It’s time to run the game down and protect the clean sheet as Guly is replaced with Dean Hammond who comes on to shore up the midfield and to kick Marvin again.  The last ten are played almost exclusively in the Burnley half and we have time for a ‘standing ovation’ substitution as Tadanari Lee comes on for Sir Rickie.  In the couple of minutes that he’s on, the Man from Japan wins two headers against the much bigger centre backs and fires just over from a Connolly pass.  It’s all good.

It doesn’t get much better than that to be quite honest – two early goals and a clean sheet with the opposition barely threatening.  If you were being greedy about it then we should have won by 4 or 5 but this win will do very nicely both in the obvious acquisition of 3 points but also in the manner of the performance and the confidence it gives everyone. 

There were some great performances out there today starting with Jose and Jos at the back who didn’t give Austin and Jay Rod a kick and by about the hour mark, the pair of them really didn’t look like they fancied it any more.  I thought Guly was immense on the wing and did his defensive work as well as being a threat going forward.   Jack Cork had an impressive game showing a decent range of passing as well as his usual industry and Billy looks like a player who will add something to the forward line – I was impressed by his strength on the ball which is not bad for a fat lad from Sheffield (his words, not mine).  Talking of Fatty, which is what opposition fans still call him.... how good was Sir Rickie today?  Different class.

Nigel was back to normal in his post-match interview after his mini-tantrum during the week, stressing that no goalkeeper on the bench was born from a desire to be positive.  I reckon that Bart has a knock and Frazer is a better goalkeeper than Tommy Dismal Forecast.  Eddie Howe to be fair to the man, just came out said they were beaten by the better side.  He couldn’t really say anything else but at least he’s not acting like everything is against him like he did when he was at Bournemouth.

Rumour has it that Stuart Pearce was at the game today.  No one can be sure if he had his Olympic hat on or his England U21 hat or his Caretaker-for-Arry hat.   If it was the U21 hat then Jay Rod was shit so lets assume it was the Caretaker hat and he was scouting for the next England squad.  We can therefore expect that Davis, Fox, Richardson, Lallana, Cork, Lambert and Sharp will all get picked.  This will be their last chance before ‘Arry gets the job and fills the team with Rio, Frank, Joe Cole and all the other ex-Hammers. 

On that subject, we have West Ham away on Tuesday night which in the context of massive games, is pretty large.  Win that and we’ll be a point clear at the top and whilst we’d all love that to be the case, anyone who wouldn’t take a draw if offered it now, is mad.  Same 11 I reckon with maybe Bart and Chappers on the bench in place of Lee and maybe Aaron Martin.  I’m not sure I’d want to go into a game against an Allardyce side with no keeper on the bench.  I’m not saying that they’d target Superkelv or anything....

One thing is for sure, Jos and Jose will finish the match with headaches having headed away countless punts forward in a big Sam football masterclass.  Wouldn’t you just love us to give them a lesson in the art of the beautiful game?  Actually, who cares, it’s about getting a result.  If we hoof it up to Sir Rickie all game and win with a goal that Billy tries to claim even though it’s an own goal – who cares.

Come on You Reds!!!!