Needed another one!!!
The build up to the game has been quite low key from both camps. The main Saints talking point has been whether Kelvin would make it and we’ll soon find out. I’m hoping Chappers had made a miraculous recovery but I can’t see it somehow. Pompey have declared that Liam Lawrence is fit which could work either way. On one hand he’s a decent player but on the other, he’s a walking red card. Both managers have said that they know what it means to the fans – hardly going to say anything else are they – but does Nigel know how hostile this is going to be and has he warned the players about the smell of rotten fish? It’ll be an extra motivation for The Skates to actually be playing in front of a crowd. I expect their players will wonder where the fuck all the extra people have come from and why they couldn’t give a shit every other week; you’ve only come to watch Southampton.
The Skates are of course, once more looking for a buyer and Andrew Andronikou, the bloke who is charged with finding them one, is the same crook who got in the last one, Mr Antonov of CSI. The preferred choice, whose £10 million investment saved the club, has now been arrested for money laundering so you could say that Mr Andronikou succeeded in his brief to find the perfect owner for Pompey. Surely if he gets found guilty then that injection into the club is illegal… well that’s for another day. Pompey message boards are full of people blaming the FA for declaring the latest crook to be Fit and Proper, rather than blaming the guy who chose him, who as I said, is back again like the bad smell of rotten fish. If the FA had stepped in and said CSI couldn’t take over then the club would have gone bust anyhow. How comforting it must be for the Skates to have Mr Andronikou as your knight in shining armour. An interesting Skate viewpoint is that today’s game would show the club in a good light for any potential investor as it will be a full ground, great atmosphere etc. If some dickhead with £100 million plus of real money to tip into a black hole comes along, will they be grateful to us as a result? The 12,000 they got last week wouldn’t have looked quite as impressive, would it?
To the dismay of all those of a Blue persuasion, Superkelv had recovered to consign Bart to the bench. The rest of the team is as you’d expect with Morgan again being asked to play down the right. The Skates had lost Varney to injury but brought back Liam Lawrence who had recovered from injury, much to the dismay of those of a Blue persuasion who wanted Huseklepp to start.
Away we go and it becomes a bit of a hoof-fest straight away with neither team wanting to give the opposition anything. Whenever football breaks out on the pitch it becomes obvious that Pompey are set up like an away side hoping for a point. Norris is supposed to be up supporting Kitson but he’s nowhere near him and any ball up to him is meat and drink to Big Jos.
There are no meaty challenges flying about much to my surprise but you can always rely on Deano and he smashed into Halford but the referee (or Premiership referee Mark Halsey to give him his full title) saw nothing untoward with it. When a booking did come it was for absolutely nothing as Cork breathed on Kitson who stood there waving his arms at the ref. I assumed it was for dissent but the TV replay more or less proved that Corky said nothing. The decision seemed particularly odd as within a minute, Mullins had hoofed both Corky and Deano up in the air with no card coming out.
Lallana is the one class act on the pitch and showed his intent with a slalom down the left which left Halford and Mullins on their respective backsides. The one opening of the first half though fell to the Skates when Big Jos failed to deal with a big punt forward from the Pompey keeper and the ball fell to Norris who bobbled a shot wide from the edge of the box. Oh look lads, we’ve had a crappy bobbly effort wide of the post… lets all sing Amarillo. Zzzzzz. And while we're at it, every time the Scummers get a throw in, chuck the ball away.
Both teams were awarded free kicks in threatening positions as the half drew to a close but Sir Rickie put his tamely straight at the keeper and Halford curled his wide. The commentators made a big deal of his effort even though it was well wide and always going wide, which kind of showed how poor the first half had been in terms of goalmouth incident.
Mind you, even if the game had been awesome, then the BBC would have made it look bad. Their insistence on showing close ups of players when the game was going on, their total failure to deal with the over-exposure caused by the strip of sun on our right wing and their insistence on showing replays when there were passages of play that people would prefer to be watching, all added to the general feeling of ‘crap game’. I hate to say it as Sky is the devil.... but Sky coverage is much better. Still, BBC is better than ITV, just because it doesn’t have Mr Potato Head, Adrian Wanker Chiles on it.
Saints have obviously responded better to the half time manager chats and start the second half very well. Sir Rickie sends in a cross-cum-shot which Morgan narrowly fails to make contact with before Henderson grabs it. We’re upping the possession and forcing the Skates back, resulting in Mattock earning a yellow card for flattening the Gulyman which was pointless as if he hadn’t tackled him, the Gulyman would have either fallen over or mis-controlled it anyway, he was having that kind of game. Foxy’s free kick was perfect and met by Lallana at the back stick but he cushioned his volley over the bar.
Just after the hour mark came the moment we’d been waiting for as Mullins pushed Deano in the air to give us another free kick from the right. Fox again went to take it and curled it in to where Sir Rickie beat Pearce in the air to glance it into the net for 1-0. Cue bruised shin on the coffee table. There is something truly different about scoring against the Skates.
Voldemort reached for the bench and brought on Huseklepp in place of Liam Lawrence who I had honestly forgotten was playing. The expected Pompey fightback didn’t materialise at all as Saints took over and gave a lesson in how to dominate a game... and not score. The Pompey fans, by now completely silent were forced to watch as Sir Rickie put Lallana through but he fannied about allowing Skate defenders to get back and cover instead of going straight for the goal.
A sub each as Harding came on for and unhappy looking Foxy and Voldemort obviously decided he was going to hoof it long by sending on Futacs for Mullins. The football lesson without the finishing lesson continued with the Gulyman shanking one wide across the goal and then being smothered by Henderson as he got on the end of a cute Sir Rickie pass. Adam Lallana put Morgan through and he, in entirely predictable fashion, missed the target and as we arrived at the last 5 minutes, Pompey hadn’t even seen our goal and didn’t look like scoring in the slightest. Corky and Deano were ruling the midfield with Cork in particular winning tackles all over the place. Ginger magician was still the only player up front as Futacs doesn’t qualify as a player and all the service up to him was 15 feet up in the air at least.
And so it came to pass in the season of goodwill that the bastards scored. Another big welly forward by Henderson was not dealt with and resulted in Harding giving a corner away that he really should have cleared for a throw. The incoming corner was won by Thorne at the back post and his knock across was met by Joel Ward who made no mistake, nodding it past the Gulyman on the post.
Saints poured forward again for the remaining five minutes but could only manage one half chance for Sir Rickie which he volleyed over the bar. Full time, 1-1 and the bastards had well and truly got out of jail. We, on the other hand, only have ourselves to blame. The game ended and he Skate fans celebrated like they’d won the league. All a bit surreal really.
Full time. Bollocks. Two points dropped. Yes I would have taken that at the start but Pompey were fucking shite and we should have beaten them. It’s especially annoying as in the 2nd half we totally bossed it but we left them in with a chance by not scoring a second goal. One needlessly conceded corner and it’s 1-1. Pompey really were dreadful and didn’t string 3 passes together for the whole match. They’ll win some games because they’re compact and well organized now but every one will be 1-0. Some decent players in Ward and Thorne and I have to admit, I think they have a decent manager who speaks well and seems to be alright which is a bit of shame as you want them to have a manager like Steve Cotterill who is a) a shit manager and b) a twat. Still, it’s not about them bastards, it’s about us.
I thought the defence played well today and the midfield got a real grip in the second half. Kelvin had nothing to do and defensively, we were very solid. Why on earth Nigel brought on Harding for Fox is beyond me. We’re keeping a clean sheet and they are not getting near our goal so why replace a defender? We are in desperate need to Chappers getting fit top give us balance on the right. Morgan does some decent stuff out there but we’re just not as good without some Bald Psycho. Up front, Sir Rickie did his thing and did it well but the Gulyman had a shithouse of a game – the harder he tried, the worse it got. He’s getting pilloried for the Pompey goal in the media and it was likewise on the BBC as well which I think is a bit harsh. Was he supposed to be on the post and if so, who was supposed to be marking Ward? His main problem was at the other end where he continually gave the ball away. Pompey’s defence is so slow that I think Steeeeeve would have been a good player to bring on with 10 to go to really stretch them.
Maybe I’m letting my frustration at not winning boil over but I found our post match interviews a little annoying. First up was Sir Rickie saying that we should have only need one goal to win a game and then Nigel saying he thought we had it won. OK, we should have only needed one goal to beat that shite but you can’t have the mindset that the game was won at 1-0 with 10 minutes to go. Sorry but bollocks is it. Any team can get a goal from hoofing it into the box or from a corner which is exactly what happened. You need a second goal… Pompey set out for a draw and defended deep – once we scored the game plan should have been to exploit the extra space and score a 2nd. The game isn’t won at 1-fucking-0. Pompey were never going to score with the way they were playing and to be fair, Appleton realised that and sent on Futacs who, despite being shite, is a big lump of shite who has to be marked and causes problems even without touching the ball. In hindsight we missed a trick, maybe stick Aaron Martin on as he’s 6 foot 4 and will head away the inevitable aerial bombardment.
On the plus side, we’re still top of the league going into Christmas but it’s now only by one point from West Ham who won on Saturday. It should have been three and more importantly, we’d have been able to at least partly banish the memories of getting dicked, down at that shit hole the last time we went and maybe that would be the last of the fucking morons singing Amarillo. More good news is that for the all the improvement under Appleton (to give Voldemort his full name), the Skates are still pretty shite. We are in our worst form of the season right now and they’re in their best run. Wow. Maybe the draw means that we’ll only get one point deducted when they get chucked out the league, instead of three. If that happens (probably won’t) then I hope it happens after the return at SMS when we will hopefully smash them out of sight.
Happy Christmas and overall it’s been a brilliant year for Saints so far – promoted into the Championship and at the top of the league. Could have been better though if we’d beaten the Skate Bastards. Still, as I said at the end of the last game against them – I wouldn’t swap their future for ours.
Hoof it up to the Ginger one !!!!
Another great match report. Keep them coming!
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