If Charlie Played Football.... he'd play for Saints
The Blues had brought the rain with them – Dad and I had managed to walk across the Itchen Bridge without getting wet and we were just approaching the ground when it battered down in biblical fashion. There are several types of rain, ranging from ‘barely more than mist’ to ‘fucking hell I’m soaked’. Walking or running made no difference as within seconds you were as wet as you could possibly be.
We of course went into this Sunday match with the knowledge that if we won we’d go back to the top of the league. Not that it’s happened often in our history but the added pressure usually guarantees that we will fuck up. Not being the sort to be too worried by history, I expected us to be top come 5pm and the team I picked in my mind was the same as Nigel’s with Frazer Richardson returning to right back and Corky going back into midfield with Morgan dropping to the bench. Birmingham had a few notables with Chris Wood and Marlon King up front. Wood was of course on loan at Brighton last year and missed a penalty at SMS whilst King has had more prison terms than most players have had clubs. They also had Liam Ridgewell who scores a fair few goals for a defender but for some reason I’ve always thought that he was really thick.
It’s hammering down as the game kicks off and the first threat is averted by a sharp save from Superkelv as Wood skidded in a free kick which took a couple of deflections. Saints were trying to get their passing football going in the deluge and from our first real attack we got a corner. Danny Fox trotted over to the right to take it and as it came over, down went Sir Rickie courtesy of a double handed barge from Caldwell. It’s funny how you could tell, even from miles away that it was a penalty from the way he went down. After the predictable belly-aching to the official who, let’s face it, was unlikely to change his mind – up stepped Sir Rickie to bang it off of the left hand post (22,000 people momentarily crap themselves) and in. The chants of “we are top of the league” from the Northam Massive are a tad early I feel.
What you need when you have gone 1-0 is experienced defenders like Liam Ridgewell to keep it tight and not give anything silly away, like a free kick from a blatant barge on David Connolly. 6 foot 2 versus 5 foot 5 in an aerial challenge. Thick idiot. Sir Rickie delegated the free kick duty to Danny Fox who delegated getting it on target to someone else as he wafted it miles over the bar.
We were bouncing again in no time though as Richardson went down the wing, into the vacant space where Ridgewell should have been and crossed to where the Gulyman was and with a swivewl and a volley, the ball was on its way past Myhill and into the net for 2-0. Birmingham actually look like a semi-decent side when they have the ball but the forwards are in the pocket of Jos and Jose. I guess if they’d been girls then King could have punched them in the face, big man that he is. In contrast, a feature of our play is the superb link up play with Sir Rickie and in particular David Connolly, receiving passes to feet and making it stick, either getting fouled or ensuring we keep the ball. Connolly, despite having spent a fair time out injured is obviously not scared of a tackle and he keeps getting up no matter how many times he gets carted up in the air by agricultural defenders.
Part 2 of ‘Where is Ridgewell?’ is just around the corner as Richardson again gets to the bye line, courtesy of a lovely 1-2 with the Gulyman and crosses in for Adam Lallana to make it 3-0 just after the half hour. It’s glorious stuff – we’ve hardly had a shot aside from all 3 goals… talk about taking your chances.
Birmingham have a little spell just before half time when keeper Myhill manages to keep his kicks on the pitch instead of just hoofing them straight out on the left touchline. On 45 they get another free kick, which Wood again fizzes in low and Superkelv gathers first time with no hint of a possible spillage. Good stuff, Half time, 3-0, Chuckle Brothers talking complete bollocks, all is well with the world. The feel good factor even extends to the half time competition as ‘Annoying Bald Bloke with the Mic’ totally rigs a competition so the kid wins the signed Sir Rickie shirt instead of the adult. It’s actually quite funny for an Annoying Bald Bloke.
At the start of the second half and not for the first time, Chris Burke flopped to ground under not much of a challenge from Big Jos. It was dead centre and right on the edge of the box and even though Wood didn’t seem to hit it cleanly, the wall jumped over it and the ball nestled in the corner, giving Superkelv no chance, bugger. Birmingham inconsiderately, weren’t going to go away like they were supposed to and for the next 10 minutes, even though we kept playing, Brum had a couple of chances with Curtis Davies putting a free header over from a corner and then Stephen Carr forgot for a second that he’s 47 years old and went on a mazy down the right before crashing a shot back off the far post.
Brum’s attacking efforts were leaving spaces though and from one break, starting with Adam Lallana in his own half, Saints pinged it about and within 3 passes Adam was curling an effort just wide at the other end. Lallana is really getting into the game by now and some serious skill leaves Stephen Carr looking more like Alan Carr (ie – a complete twat). The trouble is that when you make a seasoned pro look like a mug, they inevitably steam back and cart you up in the air which is what duly happened and the yellow card was inevitable.
It’s all a bit open for mine and Nigel’s liking and so it’s time for some Bald Psycho to shut the game down as Chappers comes on for the Gulyman who must have been dreaming of Brazil and delighted to come off as it was once again, pissing down. If Chappers was supposed to shut things down then he wasn’t listening as he immediately found himself clean through but running out of angle and the danger was cleared. Saints are suddenly in full control again and calm all over the pitch – it amazes me how many times Superkelv is allowed to just pass it along the floor to either Corky or Deano to then lay it off and start another attack. Brum never seemed to get to grips with that at all and I wonder if Ridgewell is their tactician in chief.
Corky got a bit of a battering after one attack and it eventually substituted and replaced with Morgan Schneiderlin. Isn’t it great to have some decent players on the bench when you think that a few years ago, we always had some twats who were never good enough who you never felt would make things better, let alone have an impact. Morgan of course is just going to pass the ball about and enable us to close the game down.
Game over a couple of minutes later as following some excellent movement and timing of runs, Chappers fastens onto a Lallana pass with just the keeper to beat and he casually takes a touch and rolls it past him into the far corner – brilliant move, pass and finish. Love it!!!
To emphasize bench strength, on comes Steve de Ridder for Lallana and he immediately does Carr for skill who hangs onto him and pulls him down. It’s s 2nd yellow all day long but the ref inexplicably lets him off as there is only a few minutes to go. OK, it wouldn’t have benefitted us much in this game but whoever Brum are playing next week might be a bit pissed that he got let off like that. Hopefully they’re playing the Skates and if they are – well played ref.
There is still time for Connolly to be denied what looked like a perfectly good goal by an offside flag which was a shame as he totally deserved a goal for his overall play which was different class. Man of the match in my view. End of the match, 4-1, I say we are top of the league.
There were some seriously large performances all over the pitch today with no one having a bad game. I’ve already mentioned the forwards and I feel that Hammond and Cork totally dominated the midfield and Jose and Jos had Wood and King pretty much in the pocket all game. Hooiveld seemed to be getting his starting position wrong on the headers in the first half but seemed to take a couple of steps back in the 2nd and got much more distance on his clearances. He’s not bad for a Celtic reject and will do us just fine in this division. We had a couple of hairy moments in the full back positions but when you attack as much as we do, that’s always going to happen. 13 home league wins in a row – it doesn’t get much much better than this.
Nigel’s post match picked out Kelvin Davis for praise and rightly so as he was excellent today. I’m not his biggest fan by any stretch but today his handling was excellent and he did what he needed to do at all times. Adam Lallana’s interview was more interesting, pointing out that the players were disappointed to let Birmingham back into it at the start of the 2nd half and that we had to stop giving free kicks away on the edge of the box. Jos Hooiveld acknowledged the same on Twitter as well and apologised for the free kick he gave away for Birmingham’s goal. This is great stuff as it shows they’re not complacent and will sort things out.
There’s a bloke who sits two along from me who during a game is a heart attack waiting to happen. Last year he was very unsure about Nigel Adkins and with about 5 games to go, actually said “if we go up, I’d still replace the manager”. Today it was “everything he said and does, seems to have a touch of genius about it”. You can only laugh really …
We’re in action again on Wednesday night against Preston in the Carling Cup. Expect changes, expect Chappers, Schneiderlin, de Ridder, Martin, Dicko, Bartman, Johnno Pace, expect a closed Itchen Stand, expect no buses, expect it to piss with rain, expect it to be freezing, expect Neil Mellor to score against us and expect Preston manager Phil Brown to have a big tan and be a complete knob.
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