Radio Bradcaster Alert
Away to Brentford and I didn’t have a ticket. I’m not complaining because I haven’t been away all season but the 5000 empty seats were a particularly galling statistic for me and 4999 others who could have gone to the game if Brentford had a ‘can do’ attitude instead of a ‘we can’t be arsed’ one. The next time I read of anything regarding Brentford not having enough money for something, I will be sending it to their Chairman reminding him of the lost revenue from this match.
I wasn’t confident going into this match. We’ve played them 3 times in the last 18 months and not won any of them. Apparently, we haven’t beaten them in the league in 57 years so if you believe in omens and all that shit (like John Senile Motson) then be afraid, be very afraid.
Nigel’s full back combination of the day is Harding and Richardson with Lallana fit to start on the left. Also fit to start again is David Connolly who increases his ‘Consecutive Saints Starts’ record to 2. On the bench we have Ryan Dickson who moved from Brentford to Saints last summer, probably on the basis of beating half our team and setting up a Brentford goal in one of those aforementioned matches that we didn’t win.
3pm, kick off, chaaaaaarge! Bloody hell, Saints come flying out and Captain Deano carries the ball 50 yards up the pitch with a trail of Brentford midfielders in his wake before laying off to Adam Lallana who cuts inside and fires in a shot which the keeper Moore parries away. A good start which is tempered slightly by the news from Brighton, where Huddersfield have taken all of 8 minutes to take the lead. Shit. Just lose you buggers.
The bad news from the Withdean is cancelled out a minute later as Saints take the lead and it all started with a throw in. Richardson threw it to the Gulyman who feigned to play it back to him. When the defender marking him charged past like an arse and realised that Richardson didn’t have the ball, the Gulyman was gone. He played it to Connolly who beat a man before finding Lallana who cut in again and hammered a shot in at the near post from 25 yards. I reckon that the keeper wasn’t expecting that for at least another 2 seconds.
It was a matter of time before we scored a second and it came courtesy of a goal that would have had Gus Poyet purring in admiration at its simplicity. As all the best goals do, it started with Kelvin Davis who, with pinpoint accuracy, cleared the centre halves with a superb penetrating pass to David Connolly who beat the keeper to it and lobbed it goalwards, the ball dropping inches below the crossbar to complete a goal of infinite majesty and poetic brilliance. The truth is that Kelvin belted it forward and the centre backs defended like 11 year olds. Do we care ? Do we bollocks. When asked later, Gus said “Bastardos, hoofos, no likey Davis long ballio, Dagenham and Redbreeeej with Lambert, goal, bastardos and desperados, Si ?”
As the second goal went it, the Gulyman indicated he had a problem and was replaced by the Ninja who took up station on the right, where his natural left footedness would no doubt result in a few ungainly trips to the grass for the long legged uncoordinated maestro of the midfield.
There was some quality radio entertainment on offer during a break in play when the clearest ‘YOUR SUPPORT IS FUCKING SHIT’ ever, came blaring across the airwaves loud and proud. Fabulous stuff. This was followed by a ‘what a waste of money’ chant which I’m reliably informed was aimed at the massed ranks of Police who had been employed to control the Southampton Massive, coming up to West London innit!
The only real chance of the rest of the first half was a free kick from the left channel which Sir Rickie screamed at the far post and it went just wide with the keeper getting to within about 5 yards of it. I don’t think he had it covered. Two nil and half time and it felt nice to be nearly home and dry as a change to hoping we play better in the 2nd half.
Away we go and hark, what news? Brighton have equalized. Well done Gus.
Roared on by the 5000 empty seats, the anticipated Brentford effort didn’t happen and Saints continued to dominate with Connolly and Lallana playing 1-2’s up the left hand side before Lallana tried some outrageous skill inside the box before the ball fell to Connolly whose shot was smothered by the keeper. Sir Rickie smashed another free kick goalwards but Moore pulled off a half decent save before Brentford finally had a chance as Grabban took on Fonte and won before Jaidi took off and manage to deflect his shot wide of the near post. If he hadn’t deflected it then I’m sure that Superkelv would have saved it as he always saves the ones at his near post, oh yes.
The game at the Withdean has gone nuts with Huddersfield retaking the lead on 61 minutes and Brighton equalizing again on 69. Come on you Seagulls – always liked you, honest.
Our game kind of meanders towards its inevitable conclusion with the main talking point being David Connolly, all five foot nothing of him, picking a fight with their centre half who is considerably bigger. Dan Harding had picked up a knock and is replaced with Dicko who gets and appreciative round of applause from the 5000 empty seats.
It occurs to me from my vantage point of the radio that I have not heard Oscar the Ninja mentioned once aside from when he came on. Whilst I’m pondering this, Frazer Richardson gets outmuscled when competing for a bouncing ball and responds by hacking down the Brentford sub as he goes into the box. Twas a pretty ridiculous tackle if truth be told. Up stepped Sam Saunders to give The Bees a most unexpected and undeserved lifeline and ping… hits the post and away. Davis has gone the right way but he definitely didn’t touch it but it doesn’t stop Radio Merrington and that Blackmore knob giving it the Super Kelvin Davis, best goalkeeper since Shilton spiel. Two words for you chaps…. Antii Niemi.
Someone in the team decides that it’s time to stop pissing about and Lallana breaks down the right before cutting out the keeper with the cross for Oscar the Ninja to roll it into an unguarded net for 3-0. Easy – piece of piss. The goons on Solent then report that Huddersfield have got a winner and then you can hear the Saints fans going nuts and singing ‘Seagulls’ and all that, implying that Brighton have scored. I am hoping that the Solent summarizers are being a shite as they usually are and have got it the wrong way round but alas, they’re right this time and Huddersfield have indeed nicked a 92nd minute winner. Bastardos.
At the end of the game, the main Radio Solent knob, Adam Blackmore is being as pedantic as he possibly can. He’s determined to prove his point that Saints cannot go up on Monday night at Plymouth. He patronises the senders of about 10 texts and labours the point again and again and again. Yes Adam, we will not technically be up on Monday if we win. We will be 3 points and about 18 goal difference up with one game left. If we win on Monday, we will be promoted so shut the fuck up. So, well done, you’ve proved that you technically are right but it didn’t make for great radio you bell end. Still, I’m sure you will continue on this theme on Monday.
This was probably the easiest win of the season and I really wasn’t expecting it to be that easy but we went for the jugular from the first minute and never let go really. The injury to the Gulyman is a concern as we have no real cover for the right wing. I guess that one of N’Guessan or Johnno Pace will play of maybe Nigel will decide to make it a struggle for us and play the flawed diamond midfield. Please no!
Speaking of Nigel, he was very chipper and very predictable and taking care of business was the order of the day. Win on Monday mate and you can say what the hell you like. Plymouth are in the last chance saloon as they are six points from safety with 2 games left so it’s not looking good for them to be fair as the SFC juggernaut rolls into town.
2 games to go, 3 points needed, despite what the pedantic prat says on Radio Solent.
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