Look over there... another goal
Happy New Year and a hangover arrives at SMS, having crawled out of bed at 12.30. I had one job to do before I left which was to walk the dog and when I was out, a fellow hardy dog walker noticed my scarf and asked who we were playing today and the only name I could think of was Stella Artois. I didn’t have a clue. A quick check of the internet when I was alone gave me Exeter City as the answer. Well, should beat them anyway….
Arrived at the ground and did the obligatory New year handshake with the people around me whose names I barely know. I thought about offering the hand of New Year friendship to the Chuckle Brothers but decided against it, partly because I didn’t want to be a hypocrite, partly because I didn’t want to engage in conversation, but mostly because they are twats.
To the team and Nigel had decided that Jaidi was to miss this game and play on Monday night at the Daggers and so in came Dan Seaborne to play against his former club. Richardson came in for Butterfield and Hammond was missing thorough illess (Stella Artois inflicted ?) and so Chaplow started alongside Schneiderlin. Barnard and Connolly again had to be content with a place on the bench, from where they would watch The Gulyman play up front. Exeter had Jamie Cureton up front and apparently he always scores against us – however, he is 46 now so maybe we can keep him out. They also had Jake Thomson on the bench who lft us on a free having played a few first team games in Jan Poortvliet’s ‘Total Football My Arse’ regime.
The opening five minutes was quite even with Saints having a chance when Fonte got on the end of a long diagonal cross and headed just wide of the post and then Exeter having a little spell of possession in our half which suggested that they were quite a decent side. However, Exeter didn’t really look like they had a cutting edge and hopefully that would continue.
We had been playing for ten minutes and nothing really of note had happened and a nondescript ball got played forward and Superkelv came out and controlled it outide the box before knocking it to Richardson at right back. A really boring incident but the Whining Chuckle Brother started moaning. Why did ‘ee do thaaaaaaaaaaat ?. I don’t know if it was my hangover or my New Years resolution (‘Take no Prisoners’) but I decided to have a pop with ‘what exactly was wrong with what he did?’. As I suspected, there was no clue and no answer and then a half hearted ‘I expect better’. I explained in a semi-aggressive manner that we were in League 1 and if you want better then go and support someone else. Silence. I’m not proud of myself but it felt good.
Right on cue we scored as a hoof from Seaborne came down on Sir Rickie who was clambered on by the centre half. To his credit, the ref waved play on and Lallana’s pass was deflected into the path of The Gulyman who ran on and beat the keeper with ease for 1-0. I knew he’d score today – so much so that I didn’t put any money on it.
Exeter had an effort from the edge of the box which Davis tipped over as they continued to probe and cause us a few problems in midfield. We just looked much more likely to score when we went forward and Chaplow nearly did as half time approached when he whipped in a cross which nearly caught the keeper out at the near post but unfortunately the bastard recovered to tip it over.
Half time and 1-0 and I felt that one more goal would see this game done and dusted. I have to take a bit of issue here with the half time competition in which a 9 year old girl was up against some bloke to win a signed Lallana shirt on the ‘higher / lower’ shit numbers game. The rules are that a squad number is shown and you have to guess whether the next on is higher or lower. She got No 11 first up which is right in the middle and she got it wrong whereas the bloke got No 2 and therefore won. Not only was that grossly unfair but if that was me, I couldn’t take a prize if I was up against a 9 year old girl – hang your head in shame Sir.
Hopefully the 9 year old would be cheered up by the 2nd half display which started with Lallana teeing up Sir Rickie for a trademark first time shot which was on its way until it was blocked by a bloke who will now be sporting a very sore arse. Ten minutes in and we got the breathing space as an Exeter player fell over and gave us a throw – quick as you like, the ball boy in the turban threw a ball to Richardson who took the throw long to Chamberlain who skipped past the full back before delivering it on a plate to the Gulyman who couldn’t miss. 2-0, game over and well played the multi-ball system and the ball boy in the turban.
Over the next 35 minutes, Saints created about a chance a minute as Exeter continued to try and get back into it, only to leave wide open spaces and about two players at the back. To start with it looked for all the world that The Gulyman was going to complete his hat-trick as he cut inside and beat the keeper, only for someone to get back and clear it off the line. From the resulting corner, the ball was worked to Lallana who whipped in a cross from the left which evaded everyone and nestled in the far corner of the net. I thought it was a cross to start with but having seen it again… maybe he meant it.
Nigel then, showing a crushing lack of sentimentality, took off Guly and replaced him with Lee Barnard and the chances continued to flow as Sir Rickie teed up the substitute, only for him to hoof woefully over the bar. This set the tone for the next tem minutes as rather than putting it in the net, everyone seemed to want to piss about. Lallana tried to chip the keeper when clean through and it hit his foot, Chaplow fired wastefully over, Barnard hit row Z again and then Ryan Dickson (on today before Chamberlain got cramp) chipped the keeper, only for him to scramble back and flap it off for a corner.
The scoreline was made more realistic in the last minute as Dickson headed down to Barnard who cushioned it with his knee, thankfully it didn’t bounce too far and he swivelled and made it four, past three flailing Exeter defenders.
Woo-hoo, we’re up to 2nd. OK, it’s a bit false as we’ve played 5 more home games than away but who cares. Another very confortable home win, achieved by steam-rollering the opposition and making them look very very ordinary indeed. It’s not exaggerating to say that we could have won by 8 or 9 – the fact that we didn’t was largely down to our ‘piss about’ finishing when it was 3-0. On a day when Brighton hit 5, it would have been nice to at least match them but never mind, we can’t be greedy.
Plus points today were obviously The Gulyman with his two goals and it was nice to see Barney get a run out and a goal which proved that he wasn’t out pissing it up over New Year. The central midfield functioned well with Chappers and Schneiderlin operating well as a pair though I would still expect Deano to come back in when he’s finished vomiting. Elsewhere, only Dan Harding was a bit dodgy as he just doesn’t seem to be alert enough and on the rare occasions Exeter attacked down his side, he was beaten far too easily. I’ve noticed that Dan Seaborne is always dodgy for the first 10 minutes and then he improves and this was again the case today.
I wonder if the quietening effect of my mini-rant at the Whiny Chuckle Brother will carry over until the next home game. I really hope so but if not, my New Years Resolution will kick in again so there could be some more fun to be had.
In two days time we have that rarest of things – an away game. The Daggers are 3rd from bottom so I expect us to win and I expect this despite the near certainty of Nigel rotating some players. I’m sure Jaidi will come back for Seaborne and probably Hammond will replace Schneiderlin but what else…. maybe Barnard for Guly, maybe Dickson for Harding. None of these changes weaken us, that’s for sure so bring on another 3 points please….
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