"Get me in Red and White, Now !!!"
In the time since our win on Saturday against Charlton, I have taken some stick for being stuck in a time warp and accidentally writing that Bristol Rovers play at Twerton Park still. I apologise for that, as it was a bit amateurish, mainly because today I’m really worried about that Rickie Lambert who plays for them, big lad, funny accent, scores goals for fun. He’s formed a dangerous partnership with Paul Randall and if they get it together, Eastville will be really rocking. I’m showing my age now. Quiz question – what to Paul Randall and Rickie Lambert have in common… answers at the end.
Of the six games we have left, this, on paper, is the most difficult. It’s one win apiece so far this season with the away team winning 3-2 both times. It was being billed in the local media as a bit of a playoff decider which of course, as is most of the local media, deep fried bollocks. The winners today would be rumbling on with an outside chance of making the playoffs but the losers would be playing meaningless pre-season friendlies from now until the end of the season.
Pards played the same team as started against Charlton with Jason Puncheon in the hole, behind Sir Rickie. Dan Seaborne kept his place despite being as dodgy as you like last week and the 7 subs were also unchanged.
Saints came flying out of the traps and Antonio was first to go close as Andersen in the Rovers goal kept him out. Sir Rickie was destined to score today and it was just a case of when but his first effort was a header from a Puncheon corner which flew over which was followed by another Punch cross which a defender tried to scoop into his own net, only to be spared a place on the next Danny Baker video by a decent save from his own keeper.
In what was possibly Rovers first visit to our penalty area, Kuffour flopped to the floor in the presence of Fonte who really had no need to make any sort of challenge and got awarded a soft looking penalty which was duly despatched by Jeff Hughes for 1-0. Well, it had taken a little longer than usual but at least we were familiar with the situation we now found ourselves in. Having undeservedly found themselves in front, Rovers had a spell of pressure with crooner of renown Andy Williams firing wide and then Jo Kuffour giving us all brown trousers by smashing a shot against the post. Saints were having efforts on goal too though so if was never as if we were getting battered.
As we approached half time it looked like we would be going in 1-0 down despite playing well but enter Sir Rickie. Firstly, he rose to thump (with his head) in a Punch cross for 1-1 and almost straight from the restart, Saints ended up with a free-kick 25 yards out and central. Before the kick was taken, Radio Merrington commented that it looked like the keeper was standing in the wrong place and then bang, 2-1 Saints, Sir Rickie again. You could be fair to the keeper and mention that it did take an almighty kick off of the ground in front of the keeper but that would be taking away from the fact that Andersen looked a right clown as it fizzed through him. One nil… and you fucked it up. Two goals for Sir Rickie and no big celebration, just like Dean Hammond at Brighton and Dan Harding against Leeds, not.
Having re-written his half time team talk in the minute or so before the half time whistle, Pards sent the team out fired up for some more in the second half and following ten minutes of nondescript nothing much, Antonio then barged his way down the right and the ball broke to Punch who delivered it to Morgan Schneiderlin to have another go at ‘How far will I miss by this week?’. Unbelieveably, he took the option that he’d never taken before and actually smashed it in the net with a lovely dipping half volley to make it 3-1 and spark an outbreak of players jumping on eachother, as they all had bets on Morgan to score at some point in his life at odds of 500-1. Expect a raft of children called Morgan to be born in the Princess Anne in nine months.
There was the odd sporadic threat from Rovers but they were a beaten side and it was no surprise when Lallana got on the end of yet another Puncheon pass before stepping inside a defender and passing it in to make it 4-1 and minutes later it was 5-1 as Punch supplied the finish himself having mazied to the edge of the box. Five one away from home – what the fuck is going on?
Subs came on with Waigo, Barnard and Connolly for Puncheon, Lambert and Antonio and the rest of the game petered out as Rovers opted for damage limitation and Saints had done enough. It was heart warming that the whole ground rose to applaud Sir Rickie off as he headed for the bath and this showed a touch of class from the Gasheads and fair play to them. Usually you’d think a centre forward wouldn’t want to come off when he had two goals but somehow I don’t think he’d be too bothered this time.
Five fucking one – who’d have believed that? Unreal. Considering we were the width of a post of being 2-0 down at one stage as well, it just shows how quickly things can turn around. Bristol Rovers had a few chances but in the second half were quite simply blown away and there were more chances for Saints than I managed to mention in this report. Man of the match was Jason Puncheon who today had a hand in all five goals. He also set up the goal v Charlton despite not having a particularly good match and played the scoring pass for all 3 goals v Hartlepool recently. He picks up undeserved criticism from people like the SMS Chuckle Brothers because he often loses the ball but if you remember, a certain Matt le Tiss was like that but when it mattered, he delivered and so does Punch. It’s all about balance and if you have Lallana, Antonio and Punch trying to be creative all game, this is fine as long as Hammond and Schneiderlin are going the dirty work and not giving the ball away. It was great to see Morgan finally score and what a goal to break your duck with.
Again we have to look at the other results and Colchester lost at Charlton as expected and Huddersfield beat Walsall at home which was also expected. Of course, that only tells half the story of that particular game as Huddersfield were 2-0 up and Walsall were down to 10 men. As we entered the 90th minute, Walsall were 3-2 up and managed to fucking lose 4-3. Consequently, the gap is still 8 points and we have a game in hand. We all know that all we can do is win our own games but at 90 minutes it was looking like 5 points with a game in hand, then it was 6 and then seconds later, 8. Bollocks. Still, no point in moping about after a 5-1 away win at one of your closest rivals.
As for The Gas – they may have been better turning up at Twerton Park after all. In all seriousness though, I remember what it was like seeing Alan Shearer play for Blackburn or Newcastle against Saints and it was hard to take, especially when he scored against us. A vast majority of players move on but it’s harder to accept when it’s your centre forward who used to have you pogoing around the ground on a regular basis every time he smashed one in the net. Not quite the same if you’ve just sold Emile Heskey I grant you. Sir Rickie’s two goals changed the game today and that’s the difference a good centre forward makes – you always have a chance. Rovers have done remarkably well to be where they are in the league having not really replaced him as far as I can see. The next question is will he leave us in the summer? I genuinely don’t think so and I don’t think he’d want to go unless it was Everton or Liverpool who came in having been impressed by his 15 goals for England in the World Cup including a hat-trick in the Final against Brazil.
Next up for Saints is Yeovil Town – of course, we should win but if we do, I bet we’ll have gone 1-0 down first.
Quiz answer(s) – both played for Bristol Rovers, both Scousers, both scored winning goals v Saints in the FA Cup. If you got all that and you’re not a Gashead, you should see a Doctor.
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