Carabao Cup 4th Round - Southampton 3 Stoke City 2

With a Roar That Was Heard in The Welsh Mining Village

Carabao Cup 4th Round at home to Stoke and for the winner, a place in the quarter-final. It’s a game that has many sub-plots to it, not least the fact that Russell Martin really needs to win this game because a defeat here would really see a lot of the fan base given more cause to point a finger at him. A lot of that fanbase won’t be present tonight because as I write, ticket sales have not been great. I get it if you live out of town because travelling to mid-week games can be an absolute pain in the arse with Southampton seemingly infested with roadworks and train cancellations. There is also the idea the Carabao Cup in particular has become so devalued over the years with Premier League clubs in particular playing fringe players in all rounds up until the quarter-final or semi-final and of course it’s extra money on top of the season ticket.

Stoke aren’t doing particularly well in the Championship this season and currently sit 19th, just the five places above Portsmouth, who they had their last win against which was a very enjoyable watch as they won 6-1. It was a shame they took the foot off the gas in the last half an hour to be honest. Since then though, Stoke have not managed another win in four attempts which is usually enough of a drop in form for them to sack their manager like they have done once already this season with Stephen Schumacher departing after just a few games.  In that regard they certainly seem to be the Watford of the North. We played them twice last year reason of course.  Our away win at the Britannia was against Alex Neil, our home defeat was against Stephen Schumacher and this game is against Narcis Pelach.  They up a few familiar players with Sam Gallagher now playing for them and he is usually upfront alongside Tom Cannon who they got on loan from Leicester at the start of season, who scored four goals in the aforementioned defeat of our nearest and dearest. They also have Lewis Koumas on loan from Liverpool, who scored against us in the FA Cup last season when Liverpool put out of team with an average age of 17 and still beat us comfortably.

Russell Martin seems to be aware of the importance of winning this game and has said post Manchester City that would we be going with a strong lineup for this game and it wouldn’t be 11 changes or anything like that. I’m not convinced to be honest because the likes of Adam Armstrong, Tall Paul, Ben Brereton-Diaz, Ryan Fraser, Max Cornet, Big Les, Joe Aribo, Charlie Taylor and Alex McCarthy would be looking to be playing in this game.

As it was, it was six changes with Wee Man, Arma, Aribo, Big Les, Sugawara and Bree all starting in front of a half full St Mary’s.

It really is like the majority of our Championship home games last season as Saints keep hold of the ball and Stoke defend in depth. We work the ball wide to Adam Armstrong whose low cross is cleared out to the edge of the box where Aribo fires in our first shot of the evening but comfortably saved by the keeper.

A Defender Is Now Our Main Goal Threat

It's a possession-fest with not much threat and we win a corner as we approach 20 minutes, which the linesman has just guesses at because he wasn’t remotely interested in giving it until everybody appealed.  Over it comes from Fernandes along the line of the 6 yard line and THB has got completely free and unimpeded by anybody, nods it powerfully into the net.  Dunno where the keeper was but we'll take it.

A lovely ball around the corner by Sugawara sends Armstrong away in absolutely acres of space and with all the time in the world.  He advances on goal and then with two players in the middle, he doesn’t have a clue and smashes it straight at the keeper at the near post. Piss poor it has to be said.  I don’t blame him for having a shot but it has to go across the keeper.

It seems that there is no danger as Sugawara gets seen off by Dixon in the Stoke penalty area but the defender reckons without the tenacity of Yuki to win it back and when the Saints defender gets in front of him and takes possession of the ball again, Dixon swings a leg and boots him and it looks a bit soft but I can see why the referee gave it.  We have a penalty taker on the pitch today and it’s Arma and bang, first goal of the season and he certainly takes a good penalty.  2-0 now and it should be more or less done from here.

Cruising to a Comfortable Win at this Point

It’s time for the first charge of the day as Wee Man goes off.  It’s a bit strange because he doesn’t look injured and on comes Maxwel Cornet on the left and we have that rarest of things, right footed winger on the right, left footed on the left.

It all seems so easy as we appreach half time.  Stoke break up the right and Vidigal gets trashed by Big Les and it’s a free kick about 40 yards out.  It’s chipped into the mixer in nondescript fashion and there’s a header and it bounces off Sugawara who has got himself in a mess and Phillips flicks it past Ramsdale from close range. We have literally conceded with more or less the first time they’ve got into the penalty area.  Shit.

Half-time and that’s put a slightly different slant on it. It’s been a ridiculously one-sided first half but we have left the door open and Stoke can walk through it and will now think they have a chance in the second half.  Stoke goal aside we’ve been dominant but have slipped into that mode where we create nothing.  No one is prepared to shoot from any distance and we’re not trying to find Archer in the middle.

Ten minutes of the same boring shit goes by and Stoke come again down our left and a cross-shot deflects off of Bree and lands perfectly at the feet of Cannon beyond the far post and he rams it into the roof of the net.  I think they’ve been in the penalty area twice and now it’s 2-2.

Russell gets on his radio from the stands and on comes Tall Paul and BBD for Archer and Fernandes, meaning Arma moving back into the midfield three.  Now we have the big man on up[ front we of course don’t play to his strengths and we are still creating nothing from our possession.    Stoke now look dangerous ever time they advance and Moran starts dribbling past players and gets into our penalty area and seems to go round about four players before Sugawara eventually gets a tackle in and we hack it away. We got a bit fortunate there as THB left his leg out and if Moran had gone down then it would’ve been another penalty.

Talking of penalties – they are now looking likely and there’s more headscratching substitutions as Arma and Bednarek are replaced with Sulemana and Sam Amo.  It looks like Sulemana is at left back with Bree at centre back next to THB.  It’s anyone’s guess who is in midfield and whilst we work that out, Cornet fucks up and puts THB in the shit and Manhoef is his clean through and it looks like he’s bundled it past Ramsdale, who has made himself very small and it looks like it’s rolling in but Sugawara gets back to clear it off the line.  All eyes on the referees watch… nothing.

Sulemana to his credit, tries to put a cross in towards Tall Paul but it’s headed back out to him.  The £25 million man takes his time and rolls it back to Bree on the edge of the box and the man nurtured by the man from the Welsh Mining Village, smashes it from outside box and into the net.  Get in.  I wait for the apocalypse but it doesn’t happen, so I therefore deduce that we can actually shoot from outside the box if we want to.

Now to manage the eight extra minutes with three defenders, two midfielders and five forwards.  Big Les is at centre back now and the back four is protected by a clearly knackered Joe Aribo, and Sam Amo and no one else really.  We see it out and thank fuck that’s over with. 

Through to the quarter-finals we go and that’s just about all you can say about it. You don't want to be too negative because we haven't won many games this season but here comes the truth.  Fucking hell that second half was absolutely grim until someone finally had a shot from outside the box and lo and behold, buy a ticket and sometimes you win. I guess you could say it was a classic illustration of getting over the line without playing well and we would kill for a win of that nature against Everton in the league on Saturday and no mistake.  However, from the moment Stoke pulled a goal back just before half-time until James Bree finally took that shot from outside the box, we were fucking atrocious - as bad and ineffective with and without the ball as you could possibly be.

We showed absolutely no clue how to get efforts on goal. Yes we scored twice in the first half, once from a corner and once from a penalty but from open play, nothing. We have a central striker in Cameron Archer who has been on good form but we have no idea how to get the ball to him. We never play the ball into his feet from midfield and when we get into the wide areas we cross the ball in the air which is of course not his strength.

A vast majority game was played in front of the Stoke team who would drop back to the edge of the box whilst we passed the ball around, side to side in between the halfway line and about 30 yards out. We carried on this ineffective and quite frankly, piss boring style of attacking throughout the second half despite changing virtually every attacking player.  Many got gametime for the first time in a while, so you would expect them to be keen to impress.  Maybe they were keen, but that didn't really translate to anything.  Of our underperforming wingers, Max Cornet was given a chance for about 65 minutes and did nothing with it. Ben Brereton Diaz came on and was fucking awful.  Ryan Fraser started the game before going off ill and he did nothing either.  Adam Armstrong scored a penalty and other than that showed an ability to have absolutely no idea what to do when it came to delivering a ball into the box.  
 
Tall Paul came on for the last 20 minutes, which you would have thought would have been the signal to change how we attack. Did we put crosses into him? I can remember one and that was so high that all he could do was knock it off for a goal kick. You simply have to mix it up when you are attacking or else you become very very easy to defend against.  Wingers need to take on the full-back occasionally instead of always turning back, we need to play the ball into the strikers feet occasionally and we need to shoot from outside the box more often. Stoke’s defence was not tested at all for about an hour.  Bree’s goal was probably down to the surprise element because Stoke probably weren’t thinking there was any danger and didn’t set up to defend a long-range shot because unless it's our third choice right back, no one thinks of doing it. Maybe the fact that Russell Martin was sat in the stands, with a different vantage point to usual, will turn out to be a good thing. 

We Look Shit From Up Here

Having said our attack was dreadful – so was the defence. Defensive cover was provided by Big Les, who started like a monster and had a good first half but has a tendency to give away free kicks in bad areas and with the way be defend set pieces, that's not great.  Every time Stoke came forward in open play, which wasn't often, it was like a bomb had gone off in a penalty area with bodies everywhere and no one looking like they had any sort of composure whatsoever when put under any pressure. They scored with their first attack which was a hopeful free kick tossed into the box on the 44th minute and then they scored with their first attack of the second half and they very nearly won the game themselves when Sugawara managed to get back to clear an effort off the line.

In the first half we were absolutely miles better than Stoke but their goal before half-time seemed to kick the belief out of us and the second half was absolutely painful to watch. I have been thinking a lot recently about how you can get away with things at Championship level that you can’t get away with the Premier League level. Today was a prime example because we were absolutely shocking in that second half but still managed to win. We were absolutely shocking in the second half against Leicester and look what happened.

So, having got through somehow, and seen how Wednesday’s games panned out, we had the draw for the Quarters and it’s all Prem sides.  Palace were the only ‘bottom half’ side in the draw and we didn’t get them…. No, we got the holders at home – Liverpool.  The Scousers will be shitting it after watching us despatch Stoke.  Sarcasm alert.

Up the fucking Saints

Premier League Match 9 - Manchester City 1 Southampton 0

Pep Loves Us

Here we are ladies and gentlemen for the latest episode of the Premier League game show “What’s the Fucking Point?“. In the blue corner we have a billionaires of Manchester City complete with there are 115 charges, world-class manager and world-class squad, where one player is probably worth £200 million and then the red corner we have newly promoted Southampton with their limited PSR allowance, no charges because they play by the rules and squad of players that includes players who can’t run, players who are barely good enough for the Championship and a manager who on occasions, acts like he’s on a level with world-class manager in the Blue corner.

Just what you need when you haven’t won in the opening eight games of the Premier League season - a trip to the Etihad to play Manchester City who of course, haven’t lost yet. They have drawn a couple and only beat Wolves away in the last minute last week but these are very small cracks of light in the darkness that is our prospects of getting anything from this particular game.

It does start 11 against 11 though and since last weeks fiasco against Leicester, where virtually every substitution made us weaker, I have arrived at the theory that we must leave our starting players on the pitch for as long as we possibly can because the squad players are just going to inevitably drag things down. That theory can probably be saved for the two games that follow this one against Everton and Wolves because this one is surely just a case of damage limitation. Mind you, we said that when we went up to Arsenal a few weeks ago and we actually put on a decent performance and to be honest, it wouldn’t surprise me if we did that today. It’s one of those when you just have to take ten minutes at a time and stay in the game for as long as you possibly can. On the face of it, this is the biggest home banker of the season in the entire league.

With Saints being where they are and with what happened against Leicester, we officially declared silly season open with regards to stuff that turns up on the internet. Just now I saw us linked with David Moyes as a manager and Patrick Bamford, currently languishing on a Championship bench, to be some sort of saviour for our season. Agents hard at work I suspect.

I don’t usually pay much attention to Pep Guardiola‘s pre-match press conferences so I don’t know if he does this with every club, but every time he talks about us he always seems to be playing mind games, talking up how brilliant we are at something or how brilliant the manager is at something. I know he has to say something and he’s not going to say “they are shit and they have absolutely no fucking chance playing like that”  No exception this week and the usual talking up of Southampton was in place. Russell Martin’s clear vision for how the game should be played and how you shouldn’t compromise that. With all due respect Mr Guardiola, what the fuck do you know about managing a team with a bottom three squad at the bottom of the league? Manager of peak Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Manchester City. I totally get that he’s one of the most respected man in football ever, but do me a favour?

More usefully, he did mention that City would be missing a few players like Doku, Walker, Grealish, de Bruyne and long-term absentee Rodri. Trust me when I say you can still pick the Champions League winning level first 11 without those guys that was far as we are concerned, it’s much better but those guys are unavailable.

Saints got one of the famous PGMOL apologies during the week. Well, not so much an apology but an acknowledgement that Anthony Taylor should’ve given us a penalty last week. Well that’s really fucking useful isn’t it? So on the one hand they are acknowledging that Anthony Taylor made a mistake as a vital point of the game but on the other hand, they’ve given him the most high-profile game of this weekend fixtures as he referees Arsenal against Liverpool.

Team news and Lallana instead of Aribo was a bit unexpected given Russell’s comments last week about Adam not being suited to a game where we don’t have much possession.  Jack Stephens, fresh from the end of his ban and elevation to 'legend' status, for calling a referee and 4th Official ‘c**ts’, also came into the team in place of Sugawara as we are undoubtedly going with a back five.

The first of what will probably be many processions towards our goal ends with City working the ball in from the left and Rúben Dias having a shot from 30 yards which is straight at Ramsdale who stops it easily. To be fair,  if Rúben Dias is having shots from 30 yards, we are probably doing our jobs.

Bednarek As Dog Toy

Another attack down the left and Nunes sends Gvardiol away and he just puts a cross into an area but in that area is Erling Haaland, who treats Bednarek like a dog treats a new toy and just chews him up and gets him out of the way before making contact and knocking it straight into the roof of the net. Fucks sake. 1-0, five minutes and you just know that everyone in the mainstream sports media is getting their calculators out.

Whatever our game plan is, we stick to it and things calm down a bit and we are keeping the ball pretty well.  There are a few alarms but everyone is digging in and we get to 20 minutes still just the one behind. On a rare Saints break up the right hand side, the ball is played infield from Dibling to Downes who tries to let it run and is clearly fouled by Lewis but referee Tony Harrington decides to let play go on and it ends up with Haaland bearing down on goal but a Bednarek makes amends for his dog toy impression and gets a block in which takes it through to Ramsdale.

The next City attack sees Bernardo Silva bring the ball forward and Downes comes in with a perfect tackle to take the ball of him but referee decides that’s a free-kick which provokes an angry response from both Downes and Lallana and it’s Downes that picks up the yellow card for dissent . To add insult to injury, Russell Martin managed to get booked as well, all whilst Lallana gave out a similar opinion of the referee as Jack Stephens did against Man United.

Approaching half-time down our left they come with Silvinho getting a cross into the box, which is half cleared and Kovacic smashes it and it’s moving all over the shop but Ramsdale gets a good hand on it and we smuggle it away for a corner.  The final threat of the half is ours however as we play out, with Downes finding Stephens, who has made an extra man in midfield and he pokes it through and suddenly Archer is motoring towards goal.  On he goes into the penalty area and a touch left and bang, past the keeper, hits the bar and out.  Shit.

We Have a Shot

Half-time and just the one down and to be honest we played pretty well and given a good account.  We are working at not letting City have the ball all the time and that’s going well but we need to create more chances.  The risks we take to get to the half way line and beat the press are not being backed up with creating chances – the Archer effort being our only shot of the half.  One change with the quiet Tyler Dibling being replaced with Adam Armstrong. I assume that Dibling is just feeling the pace after so many consecutive games at his age.

Within a few seconds of the second half starting, City break and Foden picks up the ball at the edge of the box and drags his shot about a foot wide of the post. Adam Armstrong then goes into the book with his first involvement in the game as he brushes past Nunes and he goes down like he’s been shot. In comes the free-kick and it’s headed across the goal by Gvardiol and Bednarek has to clear it out from under his own crossbar. In comes the corner to the back post to Haaland and THB heads off the line.  Danger not over though as back it comes and Haaland can only pick out Ramsdale with his second header.

Thought it’s looking like a second goal is coming, Saints are still a minor threat with KWP chipping a pass over the full-back for Adam Armstrong to run onto.  Just the one thing in mind as he cuts across Rúben Dias before smashing it straight at Ederson who catches it dismissively..

That brief foray is momentary respite as Foden feeds the ball in from the right hand side and it meets the run of Haaland at the back post but in about an event more rare than finding white dog shit these days, Haaland taps a sitter wide of the post.

Three Players Laughing at a Decision

More greatness from Tony Harrington as we win a free kick in midfield but in typical City fashion, Foden stands on the ball to prevent a quick one being taken.  Lallana taps the ball into him and the ref does nothing. Lallana taps it into Foden again who has still not moved away and it’s Lallana who gets booked.  A few minutes later and Lallana has to be removed before he kills the referee and on comes Joe Aribo.  Silvinio immediately gets away down the City right and picks out Haaland with a cross and he seems to get caught in two minds between heading for goal and heading across and Bednarek hacks it away again.

Are City getting nervous as we reach the last 20?  Probably not but you can hear that their fans are and we attack down the left with Archer feeding the ball back infield to Aribo, on to Fernandes and he plays it wide to Armstrong on the right and his shot from an angle is shite and always going over.

A spate of substitution seems sees us bring on James Bree, Sulemana and Tall Paul, with Manning, the injured Downes and Archer making way.  Saints are still trying to play and get out of our left corner and find Bree on the right, on to Armstrong, who hangs up a cross towards the big man and Tall Paul heads it down and it’s hacked away by Akanji for a corner. It’s our first corner in the 92nd minute and it comes from Fernandes, but headed out and of course there is a City break which ends with Haaland bearing down on goal and Ramsdale throwing himself at his feet – great save.

96 minutes and we get a free kick on the halfway line and it’s surely “land it on Tall Paul” time…. but instead of launching it in the general direction of the massive bloke, which every other team in history would’ve done, we pass it around for a bit before our goalkeeper launches it up to no one in particular and that’s the end of the game.  Sometimes I just don’t get us.

To be honest, that wasn’t bad against the combined might of Manchester City and Tony Harrington making sure that we could never get a foothold in the game. We pretty much did as well as we possibly could today and it says a lot about the spirit within the camp but we can go 1-0 down that early and still be in the game as time ticked down. If you are being hyper-critical then you could look at the usual failings of us taking all these risks to get to the halfway line and beat the press and then having very very few ideas of how to progress it any further and actually threaten the opposition goal. There were a couple of moments, with obviously the closest one being Archer hitting the bar just before half-time. Adam Armstrong had a similar chance in the second half but smashed it over and there was the 90th minute header by Tall Paul that could've caused problems. Slim pickings.  City and Pep will be very pleased to have got over the line because we didn’t make it easy for them and that is more or less all that you can ask for. The goal we conceded was not down to any ridiculous giveaway and they scored it because they have the best number nine in the world.

Other than the goal, we kept Haaland relatively quiet. He missed one sitter from close in but the defenders can all be pleased with themselves for the way they handled him after the goal. For the goal itself you could say the Bednarek should’ve been stronger but no matter how strong you are, Haaland is stronger and that’s what happens. What I love about Haaland is that he is not looking to hit the deck at every opportunity and at all times he just wants to make things happen.

A lot has been written and said about how as well as having all the advantages in the world, city get most of the decisions of the referees as well. This is not a new concept as it happened a lot for Manchester United when they were the dominant team in English football but today was almost funny. The Lallana booking - to be fair to Tony Harrington, he had probably been waiting to book Lallana throughout the game, which mostly stemmed from the other ridiculous incident with the Downes tackle. This isn’t the reason we lost a game of course as City are light years ahead of us, but it certainly doesn’t make it any easier. Today’s gripes of course, come on top of the acknowledgement we got from PGM Oh Well, that Anthony Taylor should’ve given us a penalty last week.

The standout performance in the back three was from Taylor Harwood-Bellis who was happily throwing himself in front of everything and looked more like the player that we hoped he would be after his season in the Championship. Today he certainly looked like he has adjusted to the step up, which bodes well for the rest of the season. I was pleased for him today and for Aaron Ramsdale in particular. He had no chance whatsoever with the goal and managed to repel everything else. We should also mention the fact that we responded well to the setback of going behind because it would’ve been very easy for us to cave in and I think most people would’ve seen that early goal going and expected it to be five or six by the end but by the end of the game we were pushing for an equaliser.  Ryan Manning had a decent outing and all of the midfielders did their bit defensively – no one had a bad game but we do need to work out how to create more chances against the good sides, when the get into their half in broken play.

The good news is that on Saturday, none of the other winless teams managed to register their first wins of the season but Wolves got a late point at Brighton which does drop us to the bottom of the league. On Sunday, the good news didn’t last because Spurs shit the bed at Palace and handed the Eagles their first win of the season. 

Pep was predictably complimentary about us being really brilliant, whilst having one point from nine games and Russell Martin will come out of today’s game relatively unscathed and you could argue that outside of Southampton, his reputation will have been enhanced.  Amongst Saints supporters, no one who hadn’t already, will have turned against him after the defeat today but you could imagine that he has the next two games to keep his job and it won’t matter if the performance is good, average or bloody dreadful - we have to get at least four points from the next two games, starting with Everton at home on Saturday.

Up the Fucking Saints

Premier League Match 8 - Southampton 2 Leicester City 3

BBC Amazed that Russell Didn't Make a Shit Substitution for the Interview

Shit just got real. From now, we can’t be dealing with decent performances for half an hour or being unlucky and not quite getting out of the line. We now have to start winning and games at home against the likes of Leicester are where we need to start winning.

We are about to embark on a four-game run which will define Russell Martin’s and Southampton‘s season with three of the games being Leicester at home, Everton at home and Wolves away – three sides who will in all likelihood be in the bottom six at the end of the season. The fourth game in the sequence is against Manchester City away so we don’t need to talk about that one. Points on the board are what is needed and I would suggest that anything less than six points from these four games and we might as well pack our bags for the Championship once more.

Leicester arrive having won their first game of the season last week at home to Bournemouth. I wonder if Bournemouth players and managers were taking the piss in the press conference afterwards? Somehow, I doubt it. It was on the face of it, very similar to our home game against Ipswich in the Leicester took the lead relatively early and arrived at the 94th minute one goal in front. Unlike us however, they got over the line and that has massively changed the perception of how the two teams have started.

We need to follow suit today and get our first win by hook or by crook. It certainly isn’t going to be easy as last year we lost about a combined nine goals to one against Leicester. A home game at St Mary‘s was a Russell Martin disaster class with an experimental team going to kneel down in the first three minutes and never recovering. Away from home we were just an absolute fucking shambles and got hammered 5-0. Last time in the Premier League against Leicester though we managed to win twice including a home win that was one of only two home wins that season.

Leicester have been underneath a financial cloud for the last couple of seasons but have managed to completely get away with overspending and breaking the pointless rules.  They didn’t seem to argue with the fact that they had overspent, they just argued that because they were in the Championship, the Premier League couldn’t do anything about it and when they were in the Premier League, the season in the Championship couldn’t be taken into account because they weren’t in the Premier League.  The lack of joined up governance between the top two divisions of football is quite staggering. We of course have been in the same division as Leicester over the last few seasons but have decided to play by the rules. I was hoping that Leicester’s points deduction would be one of the things that helped us stay up this season by hook or by crook, but we’re going to have to do it by the more conventional method of finding three teams more shit than us.  That starts with winning the game today.

On the pitch, Leicester still have a pretty strong squad– see the above paragraph for the reasons for that. Despite being under financial cloud they managed to spend £25 million on the central defender this season and Okoli is likely to play even though Vestergaard is allegedly fit again. Wilfred Ndidi is still a major player in midfield, as is Harry Winks. On the wings they have the two wingers that terrorised as last year in Stephy Mavididi and Abdul Fatawu and also have Facundo Buononotte, a loan signing from Brighton in the summer. Up front, they still have old Steptoe himself and Jamie Vardy is still a complete shit house pain in the arse even at the age of 38. You have to respect it really.

Russell Martin has hopefully spent the international break preparing for and recovering from his appearance in a charity game at St Mary‘s last Saturday and hasn’t had time to come up with some fucking weird and wacky shit to put out on the pitch this afternoon. The main interest will stem around weather Tall Paul starts the game after his impressive cameo against Arsenal. Personally, I’d like to see a front three of Paul, Cameron Archer off the left and Tyler Dibling off the right…. Bit not to be – it’s virtually the same line up as for the completely different assignment away at Arsenal.  Ryan Manning starts and the other ten pick themselves.

Here we go and a positive start as we win a corner virtually straight away. Manning swings it in left-footed and it’s a brilliant delivery and Joe Aribo rises to meet it and a combination of the goalkeeper in the crossbar keep it out before Leicester half clear it and back in to where Archer tries an overhead kick but can only scuff it wide. Fuck.

Anthony Taylor is the referee today and he makes himself knopwn to the crowd by making twat of himself for booking Ryan Manning for really next to nothing.  Three minutes later and Fernandes goes in the book as well for another debateable one.  Fernandes then tries to bring the ball out of defence and gets absolutely wiped out by Bunonotte.  Taylor gives the free-kick and decides that’s not a yellow card even though it's the worst foul dof the game so far.  Saints get on with it quickly with Downes tapping the ball to KWP and he’s away down the left. Like all good players he picks the best option and puts out wide to Manning and his first time left foot cross falls perfectly for Archer to run into the net. Get in. What a fucking start.

We soon get the ball  out KWP on the left touch line and I’m actually thinking it would be good if this was Manning with hise left foot but KWP is a different beast and pisses past James Justin and makes his way along the line before picking out the perfect pass to find Joe Aribo on the edge of the 6 yard box and he passed it into the net in almost identical fashion to the way Archer did earlier.  2-0 and surely today is the fucking day.

And It All Started So Well

Something strange has happened during the week because we win a throw near the Leicester goal line. We’ve been known to throw these all the way back to Ramsdale but today,  Sugawara hurls it in, it’s flicked on by THB and Downes hooks it goalwards and it goes through Hermansen’s legs, hits on the arse and bounces down and the keeper is very grateful to grab hold of it.

Dibling is giving Kristiansen a real hard time, as he does with most left backs this season and he pisses past him before getting to the edge of the box and being upended by Faes. Anthony Taylor for reasons known only to him, decides that that’s not a foul. 99 times out of 100 with 99 referees out of 100, that is a clear foul.   Faes then goes through the back of Cameron Archer on the halfway line and it is also not a foul.  I can’t work out if Taylor is bent or just shit but he seems to have absolutely no idea what is and what isn’t a foul.

Leicester haven’t really done much so far but as we approach half-time they begin to come into the game a little bit more with Kristiansen feeding the ball in from the left to El Khanouss in the penalty area and he curls one at the far post and it pings off the inside of the post and bounces back into play behind Ramsdale. Very fortunate but we get away with it and reach half-time two goals to the good.

It's been a great half.  2-0 up despite the referee but a long way to go of course and I can’t help but think we need a third.  Leicester bring on Harry Winks at half-time to replace Oliver Skipp who has been shit, so you would expect Leicester to be better

Nothing much changes initially and Saints are still the more dangerous side but through an unexpected source as Fernandes swings a cross into the box which is met by the diving fuzzy head of Wout Faes, who bullets are header towards his own goal and a yard either side of Hermanson and it’s 3-0, but it straight at him and he shovels it over the bar.

Jamie Vardy Rat Bastard is obviously getting frustrated with the way things that are going on so he takes the law into his own hands and puts in a very very late challenge on Sugawara which looks like a stamp from where I am and Anthony Taylor brandishes the yellow card.  He doesn’t see fit to do anything else and nor does V.A.R.

Leicester, thanks to Winks are starting to play, and a ball into the box finds Vardy who looks absolutely nailed on to score but as he shoots, Fernandes comes sliding in from nowhere and gets a block on it and we survive again.  Buononotte’s follow-up goes just wide.

Nearing the hour mark Lester bring on Abdul Fatawu, who absolutely fucking destroyed us at the King Power at the tail end of last season. Let’s hope he’s not in the mood today.  Sugawara has been struggling since the assault by Vardy and has to go off and…. What the fuck?  Ryan Fraser is coming on with KWP going over to the right and Ryan Manning to left back. So, a direct rerun of the King Power nightmare that he had against Fatawu only a few months ago.

Meanwhile – talking of nightmares, Dibling is giving Justin just that after he has switched to left back and Tyler cuts in and his shot as well saved by Hermanson down low.  However, the predicted Fatawu v Manning problem doesn’t become a reality for a whole three minutes… until the first time he gets the ball in fact, when he absolutely pisses past Fraser and Manning and fires obver a low cross and Buononotte knocks it into the net. Here we fucking go.

Downes sets up a break down there left for Wee Man and he tries to find Archer with a low cross but it bounces off him and it’s knocked away for a corner. Over it comes from Manning and there is THB at the back post all on his own but his header across his face of goal hits Faes and goes wide.

Time for another substitution and like the last one, this is similarly mind blowing as Fernandes comes off to be replaced by Smallbone, making his return from injury.  That's another complete headscratcher given that both Lallana and Big Les are on the bench. Also on for the clearly knackered Cameron Archer, is Tall Paul.

Virtually straight away there’s a corner from the left and Tall Paul is clearly having his shirt ripped off his back by Jordan Ayew, but Anthony Taylor doesn’t give it and one assumes that VAR aren’t interested either.  Another cross comes in and Paul goes for it again and this time it’s Faes who has a handful of his shirt but the fucking referee clearly isn’t giving those today.

More danger and Fatawu again completely avoids our two players on the left before smashing a shot past Ramsdale and pings off the crossbar and bounces out. Back in it comes from the other side and Fatawu is completely unmarked to power a header at Ramsdale from five yards out and he performs miracles to keep it out and we get away with it… but hang on, Rat Bastard is appealing for something and we are off to VAR.

VAR: “Hello Tone… you having a good day?”

AT: “Yes lads, victimizing the Southern Bastards, Yellow cards everywhere ha ha, nice to hear from you”

VAR: "I thought PGMOL said we were supposed to be against Leicester cos of all the financial cheating they got away with"

AT: "Yeah... but you know, I love a bit of dishonesty, me"

VAR: “Well.. we thought about asking you to review the Vardy challenge and we thought about asking you to review the shirt holding on the giant guy...”

AT: “You know the drill lads…..”

[All together] “Not enough consequence”

AT: “Exactly, now what have I missed?”

VAR: “Wee Fraser had hold of Vardy’s shirt for a microsecond”

AT: “That’ll piss them off cos I saw Ayew holding onto the giant guy’s shirt for 5 minutes – looked like a fucking water-skiier being pulled along ha ha ha”

VAR: “You’re hilarious Anthony”

AT: “I’m working my way up to be a legend like Big Mikey Dean”

VAR: “Steady on Tone, no one’s that Godlike”

AT: “ok, ok, ok… so, what we got?”

VAR: “penalty to Leicester cos we love them…. And… you’ll love this… red card to the Wee Saints player”

No Wee Man - This Shirt Pull Is a Penalty and a Red Card

Taylor leaves the monitor and comes back on the pitch and decides for the first time in the game that he is going to give something for shirt pulling and it’s a penalty to Leicester. Fucks sake, oh and Wee Man has been sent off of course because he hasn’t made an attempt to play the ball. Fuck off. It’s too much to hope for Jamie Vardy to miss and he doesn’t. Fuck. 2-2

Saints have reshuffled with now having ten men.  Aribo has been moved out to the left, leaving Smallbone and Downes in the centre of midfield with Dibling on the right. 15 minutes to go and all the momentum with Leicester.  It’s hard to tell but Smallbone looks injured but Russell Martin clearly thinks not because the next two substitutions are to take off the floundering Manning, along with Dibling and bring on Charlie Taylor fifteen minutes too late.  Oh joy, Kamaldeen Waste of of Fucking Space is on as well.

Leicester very nearly go in front when their sub Decordova-Reid mis-kicks in the box but it falls nicely to Buononotte who fires very narrowly wide. Saints have one attack breaking down the right and Suledjenepo has to use his pace and shot away but he slows down and allows Faes to get back and block it. Fucking useless.

Fatawu has been quieter since Taylor came on, probably because he’s twice the left back that Manning is (surprise surprise) but he has a run at Taylor in the 96th minute and Taylor puts in a superb tackle to knock the ball off for a corner

All we have to do, as the game ticks into the 98th minute, is to defend one more corner and we get out of here with a point.   In it comes low to the edge of the box. A swing of the foot by Jordan Ayew and it perfectly goes in between all our players and Ramsdale has very little chance to see it and can’t keep it out. We are appealing for offside but we have Sulemana stood there like a dopey bastard playing everybody onside so we’re not gonna get away with it because of that.  The end.

Saints Set Piece Coach Rocks Up at Staplewood on Monday

Fucking hell, the inevitability of that last minute winner. Absolute fucking unsurprising misery at the end of a second half which was as badly managed and as badly controlled as is possible.

So – let’s have a look at the timeline.

59 minutes -  Leicester made a substitute and bought on Abdel Fatawu, a winger who only a few months ago, scored a hat-trick as Leicester buried us 5-0 and who was marking him that day? - Ryan Manning.

62 minutes - Russell Martin had a choice to make on that side when he was forced to move KWP over to right back and what he did was bring Wee Man on and therefore moved Ryan Manning directly one-on-one against Fatawu.  To the surprise of absolutely fucking no one except for Russell Martin it seems, Fatawu tore us a completely new arsehole down that side with the defensive weakening of both the left back and the left-wing slot that happened that substitution.  Charlie Taylor was right there.
 
65 minutes - Three minutes was all it took for Fatawu to skin both Manning and Fraser and set up Buononotte for the first Leicester goal. 

68 minutes - Another shocker as Fernandes and Archer are replaced (and not Manning) and on comes Lallana – our specialist player we signed for this exact scenario… but no, instead of that we get Will Smallbone, who has to be the absolute worst player you can possibly bring on as a substitute because he doesn’t fulfil one of the basic requirements of a sub, which is to add energy.  Tall Paul is on as well.

73 minutes - Fatawu, completely unhindered by Fraser and Manning, hits the bar and then has a free header when the cross comes back in which leads to the penalty and red card.  In the reshuffle, despite him seemingly being injured (it is hard to tell admittedly), Russell moves Smallbone into central midfield and moves the excellent Aribo wide left. 

78 minutes - There are two more subs to make and Smallbone and Manning should of course come off but instead it’s Dibling and Manning for Taylor and Sulemana.  Smallbone has barely touched the ball since he came on and looks injured.
 
All leading to the 97^th minute identikit set piece goal we conceded against Ipswich.  Mark the players on the edge of the box – I should be the fucking set piece coach – thus endeth the lesson.

It seemed like self-sabotage – all of it.  So predictable setting up the Fatawu vs Manning rematch, then deciding that what we needed was Smallbone instead of Lallana or even Big Les.  Moving Joe Aribo out of the middle to accommodate him was insane, as Aribo had been our best player for the opening hour but he was rendered powerless as the Leicester midfielders used Smallbone as a training cone, putting me in mind of the famous Ibrahima Diallo substitute performance at Arsenal.   I also can’t get my head around Tyler Dibling being replaced by Sulemana, who should be about five places down the pecking order to come on in a wide area but he’s got himself fit for the first time in months so naturally, he gets on the pitch.  Needless to say, he was shit.

There will be narrative around this game to blame the referee and Anthony Taylor and VAR was undoubtedly shite but we can’t control what the referee does. We can control what we do and that was fucking dreadful.  One of Russell Martin’s biggest flaws is over rating certain players and not drawing a line under some players who are so screamingly obviously, not good enough to play in this division. Starting Ryan Manning today was madness in itself but he had a great moment when he set up the first goal but after that he barely kicked a ball in the right direction but he did keep the left side solid because in part, we had a full back behind him.  However, putting him at left back at the end of the game was an absolute travesty.  Of our starting XI, individually, you would only look at Manning and say that ‘he’s not the required standard to play in the Premier League.  Deep into erh second half we had at various times - Manning, Fraser, Smallbone, Sulemana, Tall Paul.  A lot of criticism will be going to Russell Martin and deservedly so but the bottom line is we have about ten players who are decent enough at Premier League level but by the end of that game we too many makeweights on the pitch.

Leicester in truth, were pretty average and were absolutely there for the taking and in the first half an hour we showed exactly how to play against them and if we’d kept the up or managed the game properly then it would’ve been a comfortable win. However, games last 96 minutes, which is something that we have totally failed to grasp this season, along with the fact that games have to be managed in the second half.
  
The first half was excellent as we surged into a 2-0 lead and looked relatively comfortable. The decision to start Manning on the left of midfield was a slightly mystifying one but with the first goal you saw exactly the logic behind it with KWP making a run infield and Manning being the option wide left to put the ball in with his left foot which led to Archer’s goal.  KWP of course then showed that he could do damage from that wing on his own by pissing past James Justin before teeing up Joe Aribo. We have basically lined up in a 4-4-1-1 formation and were looking solid and it looked like we were trying to get the ball into dangerous areas more than we have done previously. Long throws from both sides came in from Manning and Sugawara respectively and we nearly scored from one and at least we were making Leicester defend and they weren’t doing that terribly well.

Having said I don’t want to blame the referee too much, I’m still going to talk about it. Anthony Taylor is a massive twat and a fucking useless referee.  Shirt pulling is only allowed one way it appears and he has absolutely no fucking idea what is and what isn’t a foul – Dibling being fouled on the edge of the box when we were 2-0 was a belter of a non-decision.  Saints had four players booked for pretty minor offences in the first half whereas Wout Faes was allowed to smash through the back of Archer without even a free kick being given.  First half and Buononotte goes down, gets treated and is not made to leave the pitch for the restart. Second half and Smallbone gets treated, has to leave the pitch and has to wait to come back on, whilst we play with 9.  He then came back on and we carried on playing with 9 but that's another story.  Taylor and VAR made the decision between them to give the shirt pull on Vardy and therefore the red card to Fraser and a penalty to Leicester… but  two minutes earlier, Taylor and VAR didn’t see that Ayew holding on to Tall Paul’s shirt for five seconds was worthy of anything.  ‘Not enough consequence’ seems to be the get out clause these days.  Arsenal’s offside against us in the last game – not enough consequence.

Anthony Clearly Too Far Away and With Obstructed View

Questions will now inevitably turn towards whether Russell Martin will survive as Southampton manager. He has credit in the bank having got the club promoted last season but we have to view everything for a Premier League lens because this is where the club is and this is where the club wants to stay. At the moment, Russell Martin is not learning quickly enough and we are going to be relegated. Russell Martin was nowhere near an innocent party in this defeat today with nonsensical decisions where the outcome was entirely predictable.  He’s recently made a complete arse of the Bournemouth away game – our last game when we could have reasonably got something.  You can make mistakes in the Championship and get away with it but not here in the Premier League.  I feel that he will get the Manchester City free hit game next week and he will also get the next home game against Everton but as a club, behind the scenes, I wouldn’t be surprised if we are sounding out other managers to see if they would be interested in the job. If the likes of Graham Potter are not interested and we can’t get awyone better, then we have the choice of blindly jumping into the void and sacking him or to carry on with what we are doing at the moment and hope it miraculously improves.  Personally, I want to Russell Martin for survive and I want him to do well but it just does not look like it’s going to happen at the moment.

Did I hear someone say Manchester City away next week?  Great.

Up the fucking Saints.

Premier League Match 7 - Arsenal 3 Southampton 1

 

Well That Dream Lasted 3 minutes

Free hit time and Arsenal away at The Emirates, an away ground but we have an almost 100% record at and not in a good way. To be honest, we used to get battered pretty routinely at Highbury as well, but The Emirates has been a whole new level of pain ever since it was built. Highbury is still the only ground where I have left a game seriously early - Ian Wright completing a hat-trick to make it 4-0 in the 58th minute was enough for me back in the dim and distant past. Most people are going into this game expecting something similar today.

Arsenal this year like last, are the main serious rival to Manchester City apart from points deductions. The manager, Mikel Arteta has been building something for a considerable number of years now and is getting pretty close. There is and always will be something about him though that makes you hope that he never quite gets there. This season they have started well of course but have lost their talismanic captain, Martin Ødegaard to injury but other than him, last year‘s team that ran Manchester City close is still intact. Last year, David Raya was brought in on loan, which 12 months later has led to us signing Aaron Ramsdale. For that I guess we should thank Arteta – even if he is annoying.

When you play teams like Arsenal and you look for weakness, there aren’t really any as they are of course ridiculously strong in all areas of the pitch, so I think you have to focus on the areas that are not quite as good as the others.  In Arsenal‘s case, it’s the creativity through midfield without Odegaard and the area that will ultimately mean that they don’t finish about Manchester City, which is the attack. The likes of Trossard, Jesus and Sterling are obviously very good, but they are not exceptional.

Russell Martin has the chance today to get the team to put on a performance that banishes all the bad vibes of the Bournemouth game. There is zero expectation around this game, but we do need to put up a spirited performance and we cannot afford to get absolutely dicked.

Rambo Prays That We Don't Get Dicked

The first thing to report about the team news is that we actually have a striker on the pitch in Ross Stewart.  There is one unusual name, courtesy of what has become the traditional Russell Martin curveball, and it’s Ryan Manning who has not played a minute for the first team this season, neither in the league or the Carabao Cup. I’m guessing that he is in the team to combat Bukayo Saka down the Arsenal right. KWP has returned in place of Charlie Taylor, and on the face of it, having a right footed left back is not the worst thing in the world when Saka wants to come in on his left foot the whole time. Joe Aribo comes into the team instead of Big Les, which was entirely predictable given Russell Martin’s comments post-Bournemouth.

Arsenal selection offers a chink of possibility. Raheem Sterling is starting… I’ve always thought he was shit and that’s a hill I will die on. For me his pace always masks the fact that he isn’t actually a very good footballer. Also starting is Gabriel Jesus who has looked very out of form whenever he’s played, so hopefully we can frustrate and build into the game.

Away we go and it looks like a 4-4-1-1 formation with Matty Fernandes trying to get forward to support Stewart and Ryan Manning stationed on the left of midfield.  It’s all Arsenal from the start as you’d expect and Saints are not helping themselves by playing into the traps that Arsenal are clearly setting to catch us in possession in our own half. I count five times in a row that we don’t get out of our half before losing the ball and from one such turnover in play, Saka drills a cross over from the right, which is fired back into the mixer, hits Bednarek on the ankle and luckily bounces clear for Manning to hack it away.

Despite the suicide-ball that we attempt to play, we are restricting Arsenal and they are not testing Ramsdale at all. Finally, the game stops looking like a training exercise of attack versus defence and Aribo works the ball out to Dibling on the right, who teases Calafiore before his cross is headed out by Partey and KWP takes a swing from the edge of the box which is straight at Raya.

Saints are now finding their men quite well and Ramsdale chips one into the middle of the park, which Stewart controls and gets absolutely wiped out by Declan Rice. Stewart is up and then down again and it immediately becomes apparent that it’s a return to Crock Ness. The most remarkable thing about this is that the referee Tony Harrington has actually given us a free kick.   It’s a sad sight to see Ross going off again and you fear the worst as he doesn’t tend to do one-week injuries.  With Ross forlornly sitting on the deck and being treated, Cameron Archer is coming on which is a bit strange considering all Stewart has been trying to do is hold the ball up for our midfielders to join in. Tall Paul must be wondering what he’s got to do to get on the pitch.

We have now gone full training exercise.  Archer is not getting a touch and so Saints aren’t getting out at all. Saka is the main Arsenal threat, and his cross is deflected out to Jorginho who flashes a shot narrowly wide.  Arsenal’s physicality is something that we are struggling to live with and Havertz easily holds off Bednarek to knock the ball down and Arsenal are away again at the left through Sterling but as usual Sterling makes every wrong decision possible and his shot is headed away by the retreating Bednarek. Saka then tees up Thomas Partey on the edge of the box and he doesn’t wait for an invitation as usual, before firing on in there and Ramsdale gets down well to save and then Bednarek clears for a corner.

Half-time and so far, so good in that we have kept it relatively tight and reached this point goalless which everyone would’ve taken before the start of the game. A lot of been made of the set piece threat the Arsenal pose but we have survived five or six corners with relatively few alarms. It’s is of course, a long way to go before we can get in anyway excited about the possibility of getting a point.

The second half starts with the usual procession towards our goal and Gabriel Jesus puts one wide from the edge of the box. Saints then start showing intent as Tyler Dibling takes on the much hyped Calafiori and leaves him for dead, cutting into the penalty area before his cross flicks off of Gabriel and Fernandes desperately tries to readjust himself as he flies into the box, getting a touch and lifting it onto the roof of the net.

55 minutes and Saints try to play out and lose the ball to Sterling but Fernandes snaps back at him and runs him off the ball. Whilst Sterling is flapping around on the ground appealing for a free kick, Fernandes turns and sends Archer away in the inside left channel. His first touch takes the ball out to the corner of the penalty area but he cuts inside Saliba and drills it across Raya into the far corner. Fucking hell. What have we done?

After the mental celebrations have calmed down, Arsenal kick-off and we win the ball back with Fernandes knocking the ball back to Downes, who then telegraphs a ball out to the left to Manning which is easily intercepted by Saka and played forward to Havertz, who chops inside THB and smashes it past Ramsdale and then off the post. Fucks sake.  We led for three minutes.  Completely preventable.

Arteta throws on subs now and the Arsenal team gets immeasurably stronger with the arrival of Trossard, Martinelli and Merino.  The shit pair of Sterling and Gabriel Jesus have gone off, along with Jorginho. Arsenal are stepping up again now and Partey tries another unwelcome advance and shot from the edge of the box which is deflected narrowly wide with Ramsdale diving the other way.

More pressure and Arsenal easily get the ball out to Saka on their right and he gives Manning twisted blood before crossing to the back post where Martinelli has half the pitch to himself and volleys in from very close range.  Bollocks…. but we’re off to VAR.

“Hi Stockley Park, Tony Harrington here at Arsenal”
“Who they playing Tony?”
“No idea – some Championship no marks – what have you got?”
“Potential offside on the goal – Martinelli very close”
“Oh I do hope not – remember that Arsenal have had a couple of red cards for booting the ball away which they’re not happy with”
“OK, according to the etch-a-sketch, Martinelli is onside”
“Great… goal then….?”
“Hang on, got to cover our arses here – Merino is in offside position when he tries to head it”
“Yeah but he misses it doesn’t he?”
“Yes, but we have to make a subjective call as to whether he impacted the goal or not”
“Subjective is the key word there then ….”
“Yep – best wait a couple of minutes to make sure the boses know we’ve exhausted every option of giving the goal”

[ time goes by ]

So lads, a subjective decision and all that….and we all know what that means don’t we?”
“Yep – fuck the Championship no marks – goal to Arsenal”

Bollocks - how predictable.

Shrug

Saka is now leading us in a merry dance over that side and he snaps Mannings ankles before drilling another shot at the near post which Ramsdale beats away. Manning has had a decent game to be fair but he’s unsurprisingly knackered and off now to be replaced with Adam Armstrong.  In a shock development, Matty Fernandes gives way to be replaced by Tall Paul.

Dibling has now moved infield and picks up a short pass from Downes in the centre and jinks past a couple of players before letting fly from long-range and it takes a deflection, beats Raya and hits the outside of the post. Fuck. It comes the corner from Sugawara and THB flies in, the goalkeeper flaps at it and it hits Adam Armstrong bounces off the crossbar and over. No doubt if I had gone in, they would’ve found a way to disallow it.

Time is running out but we’re still in it as Dibling again lines at the retreating Calafiore before finding Armstrong and Sugawara’s low cross along 6 yard line is just in front of Tall Paul, who maybe should have gambled.

Saints push forward and lose the ball in midfield and Trossard is suddenly away and bearing down on goal but before he makes his mind up, Aribo gets back and pokes the ball away from him and Sugawara tidies up but his first touch is heavy and he clearly has not seen Saka lurking, who just passes it into the net.

And so another defeat but at least it wasn’t the humiliation that many of predicted before the start. The players and the manager restored a bit of pride today which was desperately needed after the Bournemouth shambles. Seasons are not defined by away defeats at Arsenal and positives can be taken from today. More than those later.

With Russell actually deciding to start with a striker today in Ross Stewart, we survived the first half despite spending the opening twenty giving the ball away in our half. At one stage I counted five consecutive times where we had tried to play out and then lost the ball before we got to anywhere near the halfway line. We kept on doing that after taking the lead and Russell Martin would call it brave and everyone else would call it dumb. Just for three minutes after our goal, an unnecessary pass by Flynn Downes was intercepted and there you have it, 1-1. Not that it really mattered but the third goal was also down to overplaying at the back with Sugawara deciding not to just clear the ball and instead taking a heavy touch and presenting the third goal to the excellent Saka.

In amongst all that we played some decent stuff and our goal was excellent with Matty Fernandes winning the ball back, driving forward and playing a quick forward pass to Archer who did the rest. Brilliant goal. With a little bit more luck we would’ve scored instead of hitting the woodwork twice, unluckily by Tyler Dibling and inadvertently by Adam Armstrong.

There wasn’t anyone out there who had what you would class as a poor game though Yuki Sugawara’s defending for the second and third goals leaves a hell of a lot to be desired. The second goal saw the left winger score without the right back having any idea where his man was at any point as he had his back to him whilst ball watching.  There were some very bright sparks today. Jan Bednarek had an excellent game in the centre of defence and Joe Aribo showed that he should definitely stay in the team in the centre of midfield. Tyler Dibling found going difficult to start with but came to life in the second half and gave experienced Italian international Calafiori a really tough time down that wing. Cam Archer's first goal of hopefully many. It was even a good cameo by Tall Paul his double step over roulette turn thing towards past William Saliba is going to end up as a social media highlight reel. Amazing skill for such a big guy. He might get more opportunities now as well with the luckless Ross Stewart having broken down again.

Trabzonspor Meltdown Incoming

Arsenal tried to win the game today giving some of their reserve players a game. Okay, the likes of Raheem Sterling and Gabriel Jesus are experienced international players but they are not as good as some of the Arsenal players and this was shown particularly with the introduction of Martinelli in the second half who ultimately made a massive difference. There is no shame at all and losing to this Arsenal side and we gave him a good go and with a little bit more luck with eh second goal and hitting the woodwork twice in a couple of minutes, we may have got something.

Is the Arsenal second goal offside?  I can see it both ways in all honesty.  If you are looking at it through Saints-tinted glasses then Merino goes to heads it from an offside position, Ramsdale has to cover that possibility and that clearly affects the time he has to get across to Martinelli’s effort.  I also ask the question as to whether it would have been disallowed if we’d scored it?

Whilst we can take positives from today despite losing, that’s not an option in the next game which is Leicester at home. They’ve just picked up their first win of the season with a 1-0 home win against Bournemouth and we simply have to beat them next time out, which doesn’t happen for another two weeks.

In the meantime, up the fucking International Break Saints.

Premier League Match 6 - Bournemouth 3 Southampton 1

"And Up Top.... No one"

More points to be possibly had today, with a trip to the Vitality Shed to play Bournemouth in a game that has become bigger for us because of our result against Ipswich at the weekend. Much though Cherries fans would like us to believe it’s a bigger game for us because we are playing them, it’s simply a bigger game because we only have one point from five games so far and this is an opportunity against another team in the bottom half…. not an easy opportunity of course, but an opportunity nonetheless given the glimpses of life we showed against Manchester United and Ipswich.

I’ve watched a couple of Bournemouth games this season on the TV and in one of them against Chelsea at home, they were very unlucky to come away with a last-minute 1-0 defeat. To be honest, they were the better side and have a team with a lot of pace in it. Where they are struggling of course is up front, having lost their main striker, Dominic Solanke, to Spurs for a ridiculously high £65 million fee. They paid £40 million for his replacement, a Brazilian called Evanilson and he hasn’t scored yet, so a fixture against Saints is a dream for him.  Hang on, £65 million and £40 million… for the last few years Bournemouth have always traded at ridiculously high levels of transfer fee, which is completely at odds with the 11,000 capacity shed that they playing in.  Have no fear though as apparently, they are going to increase the capacity to a whopping 16,000 in the next few years. Just how much is their income? How are they doing on PSR? So many questions about Bournemouth’s past and their financing under the mysterious Max Demin, but he’s gone now so a bit like Leicester City, they have got away with it.

As I said, on the pitch they seem to have a decent side despite losing Solanke, well managed by Andoni Iraola, who survived a dodgy start last year to keep Bournemouth well away from the relegation zone at the end of the season. The results this season haven’t been fantastic however, with their only win being a ridiculous comeback from 2-0 down with 10 minutes to go at Goodison Park. You certainly aren't going to do that every week and I guess questions have to be asked how they managed to go two behind to Everton in the first place. So, as I said, this is an opportunity and it feels like one of those games where if we play well and don’t give anything away, we will have a very good chance to get some points but if we shit the bed, we will undoubtably get beat again and the pressure will grow.

Saints have arrived in a place where we are struggling to score goals and our major hope in attacking sense is an 18-year-old. Said 18-year-old is attracting a lot of attention in the media since scoring his first goal last weekend with all the usual suspects and their client media piping up. Hopefully Cameron Archer can take some of the attention away from Tyler Dibling today and have people talking about him next week and how he’s finally got off the mark. Maybe we’ll be talking about Ryan Fraser scoring against his old club.

Team news is in and it’s weird.  It’s one of those ones where you don’t know how to react. You don’t want to be negative before the game has started but on the face of it, you look at it and wonder if you’re going to be saying “I told you so” at the end of it. Big Les is in for Adam Lallana which I assume is a fitness issue (despite our last game being 9 days ago) and Max Cornet is in the side in place of Cameron Archer which I assume means that he’s going to be playing as the central striker.

As kick-off approaches, I got a sense of foreboding that Russell's gonna be doing something fucking dumb and that we were probably going to play without a proper number 9, like we did in those three games at the start of the season when we were shit and didn’t score. On the bench were all four strikers who were supposed to be our guys for goals this season – Archer, Armstrong, Brereton Diaz and Stewart. That kind of says it all about how much the manager rates them. Also on the bench was Tall Paul so we could be throwing all five of them on if it goes really badly. This game has suddenly just got even more massive for Russell Martin because it is absolutely guaranteed that if you make left field changes which most people will think are weird, and it doesn’t work, you are absolutely wide open to criticism.

As the game started it was even more weird than I imagined. Fraser and Cornet were on the wings and both Matty Fernandes and Dibling were pushing up from midfield. Basically, it was a return of the 4-6-0 formation which is a striker-free variation, similar to the 5-5-0 formation that had been so abysmally shit for us in the first three games of the season.

Regardless of my scepticism, it started pretty well with Wee Man, with a cacophony of not many Bournemouth fans giving him pelters, lifting a ball down the left flank for Big Les to gallop away from Adam Smith and his pull-back into the middle was met on the edge of the box by Cornet and his first time effort skewed off of Senesi’s head flew very narrowly wide. Unlucky.

Like me, Bournemouth seem a little bit confused by our formation and a shit back pass to Kepa, is scuffed away by the keeper as far as Wee Man thirty yards out and he knocks it forward before smashing it but Kepa gets down well to pull off the second save easily enough. Would’ve been a beautiful moment if the Wee Man scored but never mind.

Not Scored For Your New Club?  Have No Fear

So, mainly us so far, with Bournemouth not producing much. On 18 minutes, a hopeful ball is knocked forward by Bournemouth and Downes runs into Semenyo and Michael Oliver can’t wait to give a free kick.  The ball stops rolling and Tavernier chips it first time over the Saints defence and Evanilson latches onto it and gets a toe to the volley, sending it across Ramsdale and into the far corner.  For fucks sake.  Downes and Ugochukwu are still throwing their arms around about the free-kick being given against us and no one was switched on. Pathetic.

It’s nearly 2-0 straight away as soon as Senesi puts Outtara away down the left-hand side and his low cross is crying out to be tapped in until Taylor comes across from left back to clear it away. We seem to have gone full Man United at home and gone to shit at the first setback.  The respite is brief however.  Senesi up to Evanilson who holds it up and turns, finding Christie who spreads it wide to Semenyo and his low cross is hit by Cook and deflected by Outtara in front of Ramsdale, giving the keeper no chance again. It’s not offside because we’ve done what we did against Ipswich in that we have seven defenders in the six-yard box and none on the edge of the box and one of them then hasn’t pushed out.  Fucking ridiculous.

Bournemouth now look like they’re gonna score every single time they go forward and Semenyo is found out on the right hand side and he easily beats Ugochukwu and turns Downes and THB inside out before firing across Ramsdale and into the far corner again. It’s embarrassing and the fact of the matter is that the manager has fucked it from the start of the game and the players have compounded the error by giving up. Wankers.

It’s absolutely grim and more by luck than judgement, we get to half-time just the three goals behind. No doubt the changes that should’ve been made when the team was being picked or even when we went one down, will now be made. There is an unofficial “three-goal rule” whereby you are excused from leaving the ground/turning off the TV if you are three goals behind but those with a morbid curiosity to continue would see three half-time substitutions with the bringing on of a centre forward in Ross Stewart, midfielder in Joe Aribo and a dustman in Ben Brereton Diaz.  Max Cornet and Ryan Fraser are unsurprisingly removed, as it is Big Les who had a good five minutes and was then Big Hologram. Unsurprisingly, we have reverted to the formation that we should’ve had from the start.  I know formations aren’t important to Russell but maybe they fucking should be.

The game is completely dead and you can tell from the start of the second half that Bournemouth are just going through the motions. Saints get on top and actually look like we have a business in being out there on the pitch. We win a free-kick over on the right hand which is swung in by Dibling, met by THB and well saved by Kepa.  Taylor retrieves it back to Fernandes and his cross is met by the stooping THB, getting his head to the ball and sending it bouncing into the far side of the net.  35 minutes left to make the game interesting.

THB's consolation Goal with 40 minutes to go

Tyler is really struggling even though we’ve gone back to a normal formation, but shows a bit of life to drive up the pitch, leaving players in his wake but when he loses the ball when he reaches the Bournemouth back line, one pass forward to Cook, then another pass forward to Evanilson and he’s clean through on Ramsdale but takes a shot early and thankfully straight at the keeper.

Lallana is on for Fernandes, despite him playing pretty well in the second half once the formation changed, and Lallana immediately sets about making us tick and his ball finds Dibling on the right.  The pass in towards Lallana is half cleared as far as Downes and his first time volleyed pass finds BBD on the left hand corner of the 6 yard box but all he can do is knock it sideways across the goal and no one can get to it.  Once he chose to use his right foot instead of his left, that was always going to happen.

Archer is now on for Dibling, with no time to make an impact, though we do look a bit lively as Stewart comes short to pick up a Downes pass and puts it out to Sugawara on the right.  He finds a yard and slings it over and Stewart throws himself at it and nearly connects and we win a corner. It might not seem like a big deal but it stands out because that was proper attacking.

Christie has an effort on the volley from 25 yards which goes into the side netting and I’m amazed it didn’t go in and we have one final chance to get anything happening when the impressive Aribo gets bundled over at 25 yards out and Sugawara added to the fucking terrible game he’d had by curling a free kick straight to the goalkeeper about six foot above all the players he was aiming at. Absolute shit. So, all in all, after the THB goal, we didn’t have a shot on target despite Bournemouth going through the motions and not attacking much.

Well fuck off and that was fucking shit. First of all, I’m not having any talk about “well we won the second half”.  Fuck right off. Bournemouth just strolled through the second half because they had already won the game.  The only relevance lies in the first half  because Russell Martin had nine days to pick a team and come up with tactics and the first half was an indication of how well that went. Absolute wank.  It took Bournemouth about ten minutes to come to terms with our weird tactical set up when the centre backs realised that hey could push up as far as they liked on Dibling and Fernandes and they wouldn’t be able to handle it or influence the game.  In our opening ten minutes of “surprise”, we of course didn’t score but once they’d sussed it, they pissed all over us for the rest of the first half, scoring three goals that they didn’t particularly have to work hard for, whilst Russell Martin sat on his hands and didn’t correct the rather obvious flaw in the plan.  With a striker in front of Dibling and Fernandes, the centre backs would have to drop deeper, giving the young lads more space and facing the right way ... duh!

Teams like Saints who are struggling in the bottom half of the league, need to play with a central striker. Not playing with one, for me is almost as stupid as playing without a fucking goalkeeper. We are not Spain 2012, we are not Man City without Haaland. When your team is not top level, not having a central striker means that you are incredibly unlikely to score and you are incredibly unlikely to even get near the opposition goal in open play because you have no focal point.  I know the modern game has changed but there are some undeniable football truths out there for fuck‘s sake. The biggest crime of the selection was the effect it had on two of our brightest players with both Tyler Dibling and Matty Fernandes becoming lost and getting in each other’s way and losing the ball with their back to goal on the half way line with big centre backs up their arse.  Neither played well in the first half because they are two players who are getting used to playing in the Premier League and suddenly they’re having to play in a way that is completely different to them on top of that. So, two of our brightest attacking players were in affect neutered by our own tactics.

The second half can only be used in the context of learning. What I learned from the second half was that the formation was better (but then we knew that before the game).  Also, KWP has to come back into the team because he’s better than both of the full-backs who we had playing – it’s that simple.  Joe Aribo is miles clear of Big Les, who does the odd good thing that it’s just not enough in a struggling team, to disappear as much as he does. Maybe you can get away with it at Chelsea when you are on top for the majority of the game but not here.  Ross Stewart did okay as a centre forward and he certainly has more about him than a lot of the other options. Ben Brereton Diaz is officially an embarrassment.  He didn't even win a free-kick for his dive today.  All I can say is that the standard of Chilean football must be absolutely honking if he gets a game.

If the game wasn’t lost with the original selection, it was lost the second we didn’t react to going behind and conceded a second goal. The first Bournemouth goal was courtesy of a quick free-kick that we didn’t react to, even though we knew Bournemouth like a quick free kick. Big Les and Downes were too busy turning their back and waving their arms around at the referee, to bother to stop the freekick being taken and THB compounded the error by not paying attention to either the free-kick or the striker he was supposed to be marking.  As said, the second goal was a combination of the Ipswich mistake - defenders too deep and no one on the edge and, the Manchester United mistake - Flynn Downes not pushing out like your taught to do when you’re about 10 years old.  Two goals and two big involvements by the centre forward. Who’d have thought it Russell?

The third goal was down to the skill and directness of Semenyo who turned three of our players inside out before firing into the far corner giving Ramsdale no chance yet again.  Good goal but half-arsed in the extreme from us.

Semenyo Gives Thanks For The Space We Gave Him

Our goal came when we actually put some pressure on the opposition box with THB is header being saved by Kepa, recycled and crossed back in by Fernandes for THB head home.  So, whilst the first half was as miserable as it gets, the second improved a tiny bit, helped by Bournemouth who were just seeing the game out.  Having scored, there was not enough urgency to get back into it.  Out attacking efforts were summed up in the 86th minute when we got a throw about 10 yards from the goal line.  It’s an attacking opportunity – you can take a long throw into the mixer or you can bounce a throw back to the taker who can cross it.  Not us though, oh no. Two goals behind with four minutes to go and we throw it backwards and two passes later it's all the way back to Ramsdale because we are a team that can’t read the game situation and can’t think on their feet. Four minutes to go plus injury time and we think going back to the goalkeeper is a better option than getting it into the box. For fucks sake.

We scored when we put the ball in the box and for me, the best part entire game was the bit in the second half when Ross Stewart knocked the ball out to Sugawara, then span into the box and nearly connected with the cross.  Again, those undeniable truths in football - getting the ball in the box with players flying in is a pretty good way to try and score a goal but that’s not in the Russell Martin playbook - well it might be but it just doesn't happen enough. I go back to Ralph Hasenhuttl and the red zone, which is central in the middle of the penalty area to roughly the edge of the 'D' – that’s where you need the ball and that’s where you need some players.

As I feared before the start of the game, it turned out to be a diabolical day for Russell Martin and if there was an approval rating for managers amongst the fanbase, he’s probably gone from about 85% before the game, down to a solid 25% after the game. When you have nine days to think about it and then impose weird left field shit tactics and get hammered by Bournemouth, that is always going to happen. There was nothing much wrong with the way that we played against Ipswich and the team and tactics did not need changing. Yes, it turned out that the Lallana wasn’t fit to start but starting without a centre forward was absolutely fucking ridiculous.  He said something afterwards which basically implied he wanted to win the game off the bench with the strikers, which in turn implies that he was limiting our chances of scoring until the strikers come on.  Saints are not good enough to take an hour off from trying to score a goal.  It’s in the territory of crazy ramblings of a delusional man.  The people who slag the possession style of play no matter what, will be screaming and that is an issue (the 86th minute throw-in move) but much more than that, trying to be too clever is what I’m most angry about. We have been searching this season for a combination that might get us points in this league and since we switched to a back four for the Manchester United game, there has been some promising signs against both United and Ipswich. Russell Martin talks a lot about not having fear in the Premier League but he fucking does, because why else would he radically change the tactics for Bournemouth?

I agreed with a lot of what Russell Martin said in his post-match interviews, namely that the players basically gave up after the first setback. When the questioning was turned on him though and focused on the fact we had five strikers on the bench and none on the pitch, he didn’t really have any answers other than to get tetchy about it. Fuck around and find out, especially if it doesn’t work.

There were two quotes of note from the Bournemouth camp. One was from Antoine Semenyo, who basically said that you just have to keep pressing the Saints defenders and they will give you something. The way he said it implied that his manager had basically said it’s inevitable that they will give you something. The manager himself Iraola, came out with an absolute pearler when he said “I’d rather have chances than possession”. Spot-on mate.  If you have to choose one it has to be that one.  Having lots of possession is fine but only if you have chances to show for it.

So, six games in and four of the games were decent points winning opportunities and we have a grand total of one point. I was optimistic we’d get it right before tonight, but this was massively deflating.  In addition, now the fixtures get rather difficult with a visit to the Emirates to play Arsenal. Great.  Following that, it's a defining game against Leicester, then a write-off at Manchester City and another defining game against Wolves.  If we don't win either of the 'easier' games in the next four then Russell Martin's approval rating in the Sport Republic Boardroom is going to be very questionable indeed and if he repeats this striker-less shit, even against City or Arsenal, then my personal approval rating of Russell Martin will probably be zero.

Up the Fucking Saints