EFL Cup 2nd Round - Southampton 0 Wolves 2

We Couldn't Believe It Either 

Wesley Hoedt was announced as a Saints player after the West Ham game.  Al the signs are that this is one of the missing pieces of the jigsaw with him being huge and a great header of the ball.  When talking about the move, Sir Les came out with a classic about him forming a new defence with our other Dutch international, Weapons Grade Shithouse.  Great news, it sounds like we might have a decent central defence against Wolves in the League Cup then?

The League Cup… what memories of last year and our run to the final.  I fully expected to turn up and there not be many there but the crowd was decent for this competition, forcing all four sides of the ground to be open. I do wonder how local people can justify going to Wembley and then not going to the game tonight when it only cost a tenner at most.  Anyway – each to their own.

Wolves have had a decent start n the Championship so this was not going to be easy even if they rested a few players.  Championship sides I think can be forgiven for resting players as the untold millions of the Premier League is always going to be more important.  For 2nd tier Premier League clubs like Saints however, it’s the best opportunity of making it into Europe so why not pick a decent side. 

OK then – the Hoedt and WGS partnership isn’t happening today.  Judging by the 11 names I have in front of me, it looks like Jack Stephens is playing in midfield which would have been good to see, only it’s not true as we line up with 3 at the back with Bednarek being slotted in between Stephens and Yoshida.  The reserve full backs are in with Pied and McQueen.  Romeu and JWP in midfield with Austin, Boufal and Tadic up front.  So – 6 changes and a new formation and only McQueen and Boufal with anything remotely resembling pace.

I use these cup games to sit in different parts of the ground and today I’m in the Itchen stand, right behind the Saints bench.  From the kick off, Pellegrino is up and shouting instructions and showing very obvious annoyance when play is slow or when players are blatantly in the wrong position, usually sitting too deep.

Wolves look well organized and we, quite frankly, look awful.  The midfield is tsrethced all over the place and Pied, in particular is shocking.  He gets skinned about 3 times in 5 minutes and has to be bailed out by either Stephens playing behind him, or by Dicko, the Wolves striker, fucking it up.  On the other wing, McQueen is playing like a proper wing back and getting free up the pitch but his crosses are uniformly straight to a Wolves player, usually Batth who heads everything away.

Up front there is nothing going on.  Austin just ambling about like he can’t go any faster, Tadic slowing everything to funeral pace and Boufal – let’s not even go there.  Anyway, we have 3 centre backs playing and none of them are arsed to pick up the one Wolves striker as a hopeful long ball finds Dicko in all sorts of space but luckily he’s got the first touch and subtlety of Virgil’s agent so it runs through to Fraser.

It takes about 35 minutes for us to do anything when JWP whips in a free kick from 40 yards out and Bednarek gets up first and gets his head to it but Wolves keeper Norris saves well, if a little but over-spectacularly.  We work another chance as Boufal twists and turns before standing up a cross which eventually finds Pied who lashes it wide though again the keeper got a touch.  Boufal and JWP work the corner short and JWP’s blocked shot comes to Tadic, on his good foot about 8 yards out under no challenge and he shits it side footed high and wide.  Utter wank. Half time.

It's been fucking shit so far and we change nothing so the performance doesn’t change. Actually, it does a bit as we’ve got worse and you can tell that Wolves feel that they can actually win this.  Nothing much happens for 20 minutes and then they win a corner.  Over it comes and Batth is standing on the 6 yard line, a standing jump above Stephens and it’s down and in as Fraser and everyone else just watches it.  Fucking shit awful marking and defending.  It actually goes in off of Tadic who registers his first assist in fucking ages, the useless twat.

After the goal we pile on the pressure.  No we don’t – we’re still shit.  Redmond is on for Bednarek but nothing’s happened really.  Wolves look more likely to score than we do. We’ve got Gabbiadini and Long on now for a last desperate throw of the dice but Wolves break and the ball gets fed to Wilson who is through – Fraser gets his angles all wrong and he just rolls it into the net.  Fucking garbage.  The last 8 minutes goes by with just a shit effort from Redmond going wide and that’s it.  Wembley was great – not this year.

That was fucking dreadful and we totally 100% deserved to lose. I have to say that Wolves put in a perfect away performance. They soaked up what we had, which wasn't very much, scored with a set piece, defended it and then scored on the break at the end of the game to kill it off. Perfect from them but absolutely shit from us. 

Pellegrino got this game completely wrong. Any formation that relies on wingbacks, need you to have good wingbacks and whilst McQueen had his moments in the first Half and got some crosses over, Pied was completely and utterly lost from the first minute to the last. I know he's been injured but he was fucking useless. We might have got away with that formation if Cedric and Bertrend were playing but with the reserve fullbacks it was obviously not going to work from about the second minute onwards. Because Pied in particular was always in the wrong place the midfield two of Romeu and JWP had too much to do to cover the ground. JWP had a real chance to step up and show why he should be in the Premier League side and he totally and utterly failed. 

I sat in the Itchin stand tonight, directly behind our bench and it was interesting to see how animated Pellegrino was on the sideline. In the first half in particular he was literally doing a Basil Fawlty and jumping up and down and tearing at his hair at the way Pied in particular was playing. It wasn't just Pied though as he was constantly shouting to the players that their positioning was completely wrong. There were some points where he actually reminded me of myself on the sidelines running my under 13's team, trying desperately hard to bite your lip rather than give someone an almighty bollocking. The moments of complete despair usually came when one of our centre backs failed to get off the ground to win an aerial challenge against a much smaller striker.

Usually we have two centre backs who can't head ball but today we had three. As I've said before, I'm not writing Bednarek off yet but he has massive flaws in his game and he needs to play a full season with the under 23s. When the ball is in the air, he simply does not win it and when it's on the ground he's always on his arse or off-balance. In his defence, he needed to be helped through the game by Stephens and Yoshida but they were dreadful as well. The killer Wolves goal which was the first one totally sums up our centre backs and goalkeeper. We have a 6 foot seven goalkeeper who is nailed to his line so the defenders have to head the ball and they just can't. They are not physical enough and they are not determined enough. The corner landed about 6 yards out, Fraser didn't come and puncher as per usual and Stephens didn't get off the ground leaving Batth to head one of the simplest goals you will ever see. It was absolutely pathetic. 

Elsewhere on the pitch, I was kind of hoping that the likes of Austin and Boufal would put their hands up to be selected on Saturday but both put in performances that would leave them lucky to even make the bench. 

Charlie Austin is not fit. He can only play for about 60 minutes and that's a disgrace bearing in mind he doesn't actually do much running anyway. My analogy of him lurching around like a bloke has just spilled out of the pub at midnight was entirely accurate tonight. I guess all that cheating at monopoly has left him too worn out to run much.  He is not suited to playing as a lone striker so unless we are going to play with two up front then he is really not the answer we are looking for. 

Tonight was also the night when I finally lost it with Dusan Tadic. His attitude was absolutely pathetic in the second half last night. It wasn't going well for him so every time he got the ball, he was just looking to go to ground. There was one tackle in about the 80th minute where the Wolves player won the ball and he just rolled around on the ground like he'd been shot. The linesman was about 6 yards away and the referee was about 10 yards away and neither of them saw a foul. The referee had him completely sussed because he was always looking to hit the deck and therefore was never going to be given the freekick he wanted. Tadic couldn't be arsed to do the hard work and shield the ball use his body strength to hold off the player, it as easier to just abdicate responsibility and collapse.  After his little strop last season when he was deservedly being substituted every game, Tadic has enjoyed an uninterrupted run in the first team which he has exclusively failed to use. He's in a comfort zone now and the only way to get anything out of it of him is to drop him and make him work for it. He was absolutely fucking pathetic today. We need some pace in those wide areas which is why Redmond always plays.

The sad thing is that with a decent performance last night I feel that Boufal could have made a real case to be included ahead of Tadic on Saturday. As it was he was lucky not to be substituted after the first 20 minutes when he was nothing short of pathetic. He showed a few signs of life at the end of the first half but if you think 20 minutes of looking vaguely decent against a championship sides reserves is enough then you've got a serious problem.

Hopefully Pellegrino and Les Reed learned tonight that our squad players are not of the required standard.  Put one or two in our best side and we get away with it but play 5 or 6 of them and we are awful.  They were so lacking in invention and spirit it was painful.  This was as bad as the Augsburg friendly when we last put the reserves out.

And breathe. It was garbage but it has gone. Move on as the proper first team will be in action in Saturday at Huddersfield.

Premier League Match 2 - Southampton 3 West Ham 2

Saints Players Celebrate our Centre Backs Winning a Header

When the fixtures came out we had West Ham away which was good because they are shit at home at the Ann Summers Athletics Taxpayer Bowl and it would be good to play them away before they had chance to settle in to their ground for the season and whilst the demons from last season were still there.  However, the World Athletics Championships were taking place a week ago so the ground is not ready for football yet.  To cut a long story short it was switched which pissed me off, as I’m on holiday.  Whilst my personal issue is a non-issue to everyone else, Saints agreeing to switch fixtures means that we start with two home games and somewhen in January I think, we have 3 aways in a row.

West Ham have what you might call a ‘scattergun’ approach to transfer windows and throw a lot of shit at the wall in the hope that some of it sticks.  In the last window it was Fonte and Snodgrass for about £25 milllion combined.  Six months later and Fonte is regarded as terrible by the Hammers faithful and Snodgrarse is on the transfer list.  This summer has seen Javier Hernandez, Joe Hart and Pablo Zabaleta arrived – all very good players in their day but how will they cope with not being at a huge club any more?  Whilst those three signings look sound enough, they’ve also signed Marco Arnautovic from Stoke for (wait for it)… £25 million.  This is a player who maybe does it one game in ten.  Most media types seem to be predicting West Ham to finish around 8th this season – maybe that’s a London thing because I just don’t see it at all.  They won’t be anywhere near relegation but I’d say 12th is more realistic.

There have been a couple of interesting developments down in Southampton since the Swansea game.  Firstly, a statement arrive from Katherina Liebherr detailing that she had sold an 80% stake of the club to the Gao family for £210m.  Mr Jinsheng Gao and his daughter Nelly are the family members in question and the deal is not with Lander Sports but with the individuals.  The comforting thing is that it is business as usual with the existing board.  I take this news with cautious optimism and it sure as hell isn’t going to make us financially weaker.  I also on the other hand don’t see a sudden influx of money being punted around.

Kind of on that note, Ralph Krueger came out and gave a State of the Nation address which was basically that Virgil was not going anywhere this transfer window and it was laying down a marker that Saints were changing course, meaning (I assume) that we were moving away from being a selling club.  This will of course not register with two factions – 1) The Media, 2) Liverpool fans.  Anyway, he also hinted that we were not done with squad building as yet and it appears that an offer has gone in for Wesley Hoedt, a Dutch defender from Lazio.  

As previously explained, I’m on holiday and the fixture switch means that my season ticket is not as good value as it should have been.  Regardless, I’ve found a decent stream of the game in Portugal so away we go.  Team news is the one change with Mario Lemina starting at the expense of JWP with Davo moving forward.  Harsh on JWP methinks.  West Ham, having been gubbed 4-0 by Man United have done what we all hoped and recalled Jose Fonte – how fitting bearing in mind I’m in the Algarve.  They’ve binned that horrible fucker Snodgrarse but on paper, an attack including Antonio, Arnautovic and Hernandez might give us a few problems.  No Andy Carroll though – good news as if he was playing, you’d be able to smell Jack and Maya shitting their shorts from where I am in Portugal.

It’s a bright and feisty start to the game with West Ham creating the first good chance with Antonio putting a nice ball behind our defence and Arnautovic has to take it on first time but he has no right foot and pokes it tamely wide.  We haven’t of course, scored at St.Mary’s since man landed on the moon but it looks on the cards today and on 11 minutes, Gabbiadini picks it up in midfield, plays it to Redmond and takes off.  The timing is perfect as Gabbi burst behind Fonte and Redders superbly plays him in and this boy does have a left foot and it’s across Hart and into the far corner of the net.  Get the fuck in there – I love the way Fonte just stands and watches him run past.  Still, think of the pay packet.

West Ham have two real threats in Antonio and Hernandez and they combine with Hernandez crossing, Antonio stooping to head goalwards and Fraser making one of those trademark saves where he doesn’t use his hands and the ball just hits him.  There’s a bit of a moment as Tadic goes in for a tackle with Cresswell and manages to miss the ball altogether and kind of assault him.  It’s a perfect example of why forwards shouldn’t tackle and it gets him a yellow card – no intent, just shit.

Lamina has made a steady start in midfield, given the ball away a couple of times but generally looked strong and he doesn’t pull out of a header and catches a Hammers player.  The ball goes free and Lemina is after it and Noble hits him with a leg breaker, studs up, late, ball nowhere, dreadful tackle, clear red card bearing in mind that the whistle hasn’t gone for the original foul. Nope.  Free kick to West Ham for the original clash between Lemina and Arnautovic which hadn’t been whistled for at this point.  Bizarre.

West Ham get the red card they deserved a few minutes later in quite absurd fashion.  Stephens brings the ball out of defence and passes it and after he does so Arnautovoc steams in and elbows him in the neck.  It’s only in his neck and not his face because he’s mis-timed it.  Absured and outrageous and Lee Mason has no choice at all and off he goes.  Mark Noble is trying to referee the game still but Arnautovic has to go.  As he goes off he kicks out at a kit bag or a water bottle or something and wellies it into someone in front of him.  Additional ban to be added to the automatic three I would suggest.

Saints (in a change to what we saw under Puel) look like they want to get this game done and press for a second.  Redmond slides a good ball into Davis on the edge of the box and he turns, the ball pops up and Davis gets hauled down by the neck by good old Jose Fonte.  As clear a penalty as you like.  A quick scan round reveals that neither JWP or Autin are on the pitch so it falls to Tadic.  He’s like a two year old in a swimming pool – he thinks he can do it and has far more confidence than is safe and everyone else is panicking.  Up he steps, farts it low down the middle but it hits Hart’s foot and flicks up and into the net.  Phew! 2-0 up, hot day, 10 men – should be a walk in the park.  My arse.

We still look good, keeping possession and looking purposeful but all it takes is one attack.  Antonio turns against Romeu which he shouldn’t have been able to do, shoots, Fraser palms it out and there’s Hernandez doing what he’s made a career of doing, 2-1.  For Fucks Sake.

Half time and Bilic uses it to change tactics with Antonio playing up front.  This means he’s fighting in the air against Maya and Jack as West Ham go long.  Antonio is also useful for a long throw and it’s bombscare time as no one wins the first header and it flicks off someone and hits Stephens on the arm.  It’s not a full throttle appeal and we get away with it.  West Ham smell blood though – we can’t head the ball and even routine meat and drink straight punts into the box are causing carnage as we don’t win the headers.

We have a few chances of course with our numerical advantage but usually we get into position and then the cross is woeful from whoever is out there.  Gabbi then decides that he doesn’t need crosses and pick it up in midfield and leathers one with no backlift from 35 yards which sails over a late reacting Hart and smacks the bar on its way over.  We have another chance as Tadic cuts in from the right and shoots but Hart saves comfortably.

JWP is on for Lemina but no sooner that’s been done, Cresswell launches a cross in from the West Ham left, Sakho loses both centre backs and heads goalwards, Fraser pulls out an amazing reaction save to flick it onto the bar but Hernandez is there again to bury it for 2-2.  2-0, 10 men and we fucked it up.

After that it’s frustration.  Austin and Long are on for Gabbi and Davis and Cedric is lashing chances into the crowd.  On 89 minutes, Redmond does a Gabbiadini and lashes one from miles out which pings off the bar and over.  91, 92 and JWP hoists a cross in towards Maya.  It’s too high for him and down he goes under a ‘you get away with this playing for a big club’ Zabaleta shove – penalty.

Swilling his beer and taking a last drag on his fag – it’s Charlie Austin and mercifully not Tadic.  After West Ham’s players have stopped being dicks around the referee and the penalty spot, he calmly sidefoots it past Hart to make it 3-2.  Charlie’s penalties always shit me up because if the keeper goes the right way then he saves it but in it rolls and we got out of jail there.  Thank fuck and Mauricio is off down the line having a party.  No time left, 3 points, have it.

Well we certainly made heavy weather of that. You could argue that we were lucky as fuck all you could argue that the correct team won in the end. The fact is that with an hour to play against 10 men and a 2-0 lead, we should of won this game absolutely comfortably without all of the teeth gnashing and the gift of a last-minute penalty. When I say gift, I don't mean that it was the wrong decision. It was clearly the correct decision as Zabaleta's challenge had nothing to do with the ball and everything to do with shoving Yoshida out of the way. The most ridiculous thing about it was that Yoshida was never going to score from that cross.

Let's take a minute to analyse Jose Fonte's contribution to that game. He decided that it was a good idea to haul Steven Davis down by the neck and give us a penalty that was 100% nailed on. Why the actual fuck would you bother bringing down Steven Davis in the penalty area? There is no danger. He never hits the target and is no goal threat whatsoever. Even if Joe Hart was out of the goal by the corner flag this still would've been absolutely no point in bringing Stephen Davis down. Fonte knows this as he's played with Davis for five years so why the fuck did he do it? Before that that was his stellar contribution to Gabbiadini's goal where Gabbiadini ran 50 yards in the time it took Fonte to amble about 3 yards. Like with Dejan Lovren before him, it's really noticeable that once he moves to a team with no real defensive structure in midfield, he gets repeatedly exposed and found out. Toby Alderweireld by comparison has moved to a Spurs team with a good defensive structure in midfield and this is why he still regarded as one of the best centre backs in the league.





Definition of Pointless: Bringing Down Davis in the Penalty Area

Charlie Austin's post match interview was comedy gold in that he revealed that Mark Noble had told him that Joe Hart knew which way he was going to put the penalty so he simply put it the other side. Now obviously Noble was trying some sort of double bluff but Austin has completely thrown him under the bus there – maybe he’ll shut up in future (no chance).  Not the Noble should've been on the pitch to be thrown under the bus…. Let’s talk about Lee Mason.

The one decision that Lee Mason got completely wrong was to not send off the horrible little prick for that revolting tackle on Lemina. It'll be interesting to see if there's any retrospective action on that one because although the referee was looking straight at it, he can't have seen it. There is no way that Mason can say he saw that tackle and didn't think it was worthy of a card. If he does that he is basically saying that he is completely incompetent and he should be retired from being a referee immediately. In my opinion, Mason got every other decision is correct. The red card for Arnautovic was as easy a decision as you are ever going to have to make, both penalties for Saints were correct calls and the only one West Ham can have any complaint about was Tadic not getting red carded for that ridiculous jump tackle on Cresswell. I think that yellow was enough there because there was absolutely no intent, it was just absolutely shit that incredibly stupid from Tadic as gave the referee the opportunity to send him off.

After the game, Pellegrino said exactly what I've been wanting a Saints manager to say for the last six months in that he highlighted that West Ham won too many headers in our penalty area. I've been banging on for six months about how Yoshida and Stephens are not strong enough in the air and any team that lofts the ball in our box is going to have some joy because neither of them clear the ball and it always just plops down on the penalty spot. When West Ham went direct in the second half then they caused us all sorts of problems because it forced our midfield to play deeper as well, in addition to the fact that the ball always looks likely to break for the opposition. Of course, we have fit a centre back who would solve this problem but he is currently lost, presumably up his own arse.  As said at the start, if the media are to be believed, Wesley Hoedt is on his way and this is his strength, not being up his own arse but being a monster header of the ball.

Back to today and there were some definite positives to be taken from the match. Both Gabbiadini and Austin scoring is good news and the debut of Lemina made the midfielder look a lot more solid. JWP changed the game when he time on, actually putting crosses into dangerous areas and giving our other players the chance to attack them. I really don't see how he can be left out at the moment and this will surely put pressure on Davis, Tadic and Redmond for this starting price. Tadic and Redmond had their moments today but I can't help but find Tadic an incredibly frustrating player. Redmond also falls into that category but when you look at it, he set up the first goal with a superb ball through for Gabbiadini, he set up the second goal with another good ball through to Davis for Fonte to haul him down and he hit the bar from 30 yards. That's the end product we've been needing from our attacking midfielders.

 

Four points from six from two home games at the start of the season is a decent start. We have Wolves in the League Cup at home on Wednesday and the next league game gives us an excellent chance to pick up points on the road with a trip to Huddersfield, despite the fact that they've started life in the Premier League with two wins out of two. You could argue that Swansea and West Ham at home isn't the hardest of fixtures but I would argue that a shambolic Crystal Palace and a terrible Newcastle are not the best either. Still, two wins out of two has to be respected and Huddersfield will see a home game against Southampton as an opportunity for three wins out of three and so hopefully they will attack and give us chances as well.

 

A home win and three goals. Happy days are here again...

Premier League Match 1 - Southampton 0 Swansea 0

Our Main Goal Threat Has Off Day

Finally the day has arrived when we can all stop talking about shithouses and actually talk about some football. Day 1 of the new Premier League season with Saints entertaining Swansea City. The opening results are notoriously difficult to predict and to be honest I would rather be playing away from home where a point would be deemed a good result. Home games against teams who you really should beat are not what you want especially when you've got an opening day home record as bad as ours is. We usually seem disorganised on the opening day and this is invariably down to having had a change of manager or having had some element of complete chaos happening in the summer.

We all know about the chaos that we had in the summer and Swansea have had the same with their best Player, Gylfi Sigurdsson being wanted by Everton who are rumoured to be waving over £40 million about for a player who is decent but without being brilliant.  However, having said that, I saw a stat that said he’d scored more and assisted more than Couinho over the past two seasons and if Liverpool are to be believed, which they clearly never are, he’s in the £100 million bracket. The main difference between Everton and Liverpool of course is that Everton have actually put a bid in and done things the right way. Swansea do not want to let their man go but the similarities with ourselves are that the player is not involved on the opening day of the season as is the case with us. Yet again it's another illustration that the transfer window should be closed by the time that the season starts. This is completely obvious and probably explains why it hasn't happened yet.

Aside from Sigurdssn, Swansea’s best player is Fernando Llorente who has been linked with a move to Chelsea so he probably doesn't fancy playing much before the transfer window closes either, though in his defence, he has a broken arm. Swansea have used the loan market this summer and borrowed Tammy Abraham from Chelsea who was prolific in the championship last year for Bristol City. I've only ever seen him play for the England age group sites but he looks big and awkward and exactly the sort of player who will give Stephens and Yoshida problems. That doesn't mean that I think he's any good but that he is the sort of physical centre forward they will struggle against. Mind you, I'm glad he's playing instead of Llorente. Paul Clement did well with his half a season rescue act with Swansea last year and this year it's going to be another season where finishing anywhere above the bottom three is going to be seen as a success. 

So, a home game against a team I expect to be fighting relegation. This is the sort of game we really need to win. With our second game being at home because of the West Ham stadium fiasco, a return of four points from these two opening home games would be most welcome. It will take a lot of pressure off of the West Ham game if we could win today and obviously six points out of six from two home games with set us up very very nicely.

Any optimism for the first game of new season should be tempered with the reality that we have exactly the same players as we had when we went our last five home games without scoring a goal. I'm sure that Mauricio Pellegrino will in time get more out of this group of players and Claude would've done but it isn't going to happen overnight. I can't imagine that Mario Lemina will be any more than a substitute today so we are still going to have a bit of a problem with cutting edge. I just hope that if we get down the wings that there is more than one player in the box when the cross gets fired over. We need to play with more intent and have more desire to score a goal than we had last year. I am expecting lots more efforts on goal from the likes of Tadic, Redmond, JWP and Boufal. These players need to be contributing 5 to 8 goals this season which only Redmond managed last year. Contributing 0 to 3 goals and maybe one or two assists is not enough from an attacking midfield player.

The team selected by Mauricio was predictable with Fraser in goal, Cedric, Maya, Jack and Ryan Bertrand in defence. Oriol and Davo in midfield with Redders, JWP and Tadic behind Gabbiadini. The two new signings Lemina and Bednarek made the bench along with Shane Long, Charlie Austin, Sam McQueen, Boufal and the legend that is Stuart Taylor.  I wonder if Mario ever experienced the waft of beer, kebabs and fags smell emanating from one of his fellow substitutes when he was sat on the bench for Juventus? There was no place for either Pierre Hojbjerg or Jordy Clasie so to be honest, it is probably the exact 18 that Claude would've picked.

Saints start really well and build down the right with Tadic winning a corner.  Over it comes from Ryan Bertrand and Gabbiadini gets up and flicks a header towards goal and it skims off of the top of the post and bar and over.  nIt really should have been 1-0 on five minutes as Redmond played a perfectly weighted ball inside the fullback to Bertrand who pulled back to Tadic who sidefooted wide from 5 yards.  Fuck – that’s a bad one.

So we miss a decent chance and are then almost made to pay as Swansea build down the right and a Routledge cross finds Yoshida in no mans land and Stephens having lost Abraham and the Chelsea loanees header flashes wide.  He really should have scored and it was a let off for the central defensive boys.

It still looks like a matter fo time before we score with Bertrand running riot down the left as he again gets to the line and pulls it back for JWP whose shot hits a defender at close range and is cleared.  We appeal for handball but no chance.  Next up is Redmond driving forward and lashing one just over and then a patient move ends with JWP curling one from the edge of the box but a comfortable ‘one for the cameras’ save from Fabianski.

Half time is approaching and it’s still not happening with Tadic this time crossing from the left, Stephens nodding down and Yoshida trying a scissor kick which goes wide.  As the half has gone on, Swansea have got deeper and deeper and the questions is, have we got the quality to break through?

Though we are by far the batter side, the first chance of the second half is Welsh as following some dreadful non-committal non-tackling from our central defenders, Abraham turns Yoshida in the box and his shot hits Cedric and is cleared out to Fer who lashes wide.

After that brief interlude it’s back to a succession of opportunities at the other end with Gabbi wasting thte first, getting free on the right and passing it at the far corner but wide.  The first sub of the Pellegrino era sees Boufal come on for JWP which gives us the Boufal – Redmond – Tadic formation which never worked under Claude. However, iit nearly pays off as Tadic takes a short pass from Romeu and decides to launch one from range which is a decent effort but a bit too close to Fabianski who claws it away.  Austin is brought on for Gabbi who has faded as the half has worn on.  It gives Fernandez and Mawson a different kind of problem to deal with and we create our best chance of the game with Romeu flicking on a cross and there is Yoshida, all alone at the back stick and all he has to do is keep it down… over! Shit.

Time is running out and we have nearly been successful in our quest to go 6 league home games without a goal but we try and cock that up when Romeu is hauled down by Ayew 25 yards out and responsibility for the free kick is given to Yoshida and to be fair it’s not a bad effort but it doesn’t curl enough and flicks the side netting, the same side netting which Austin hits with our last chance as he’s slid in by Redmond but with the angle against him he can’t quite pull it round.

And bollocks. The game is over and we have dominated it and scored nil again. Sound familiar? Sounds exactly like the last few games of Claude Puel? Yes and no.

Overall we played pretty well with a faster tempo, more closing down of the opposition and more chances created. The problem today was not the style of play but the fact that we only really made Fabianski make one save because we couldn't hit a fucking barn door. In fact, we couldn't even hit the fucking barn or any of the outbuildings next to the barn. If Gabbiadini’s flicked headed that hit the bar or Dusan's side foot sitter in the first five minutes had gone in then we win this game comfortably two or three nil. Tadic’ miss wasn’t the worst though as at least he had to react quickly to the ball coming across. The worst one of the lot was Maya's header. To put that over the bar from that distance is ridiculous.

It surprised me just how poor and unambitious Swansea were. Abraham will learn a lot upfront for them this season playing with no player closer to him than 30 yards away.  They reminded me of some of our League One opponents who used to come to us with no ambition other than keeping it tight and hoping for a point and maybe nicking a point. It's annoying that they got away with it.

Mauricio was pleased with the performance but disappointed with the finishing, like the rest of us.  At last his post-match interview didn’t have me falling asleep or punching the ‘off’ button.  He’ll get it right.

Mario Lemina will obviously come into the first XI soon and we will of course have sterner tests than Swansea, starting with West Ham at home next Saturday, fresh from an opening day 4-0 humping at Old Trafford.  West Ham looked decent in places but nothing to really worry about.  We can certainly target three points to get the season up and running – and José Fonte can watch on from the bench where he was today.

Pre-Season Part 5 - Weapons Grade Shithouse and Karma

Sir Les Does It Again

At the end of the training camp in France, we had a friendly against St Etienne, a team that people of a certain age (like me) contains images of European Cup Winners with Michel Platini before he turned into a corrupt lump of lard.  What a brilliant footballer he was.  Anyway, it was interesting in that Mauricio went with a 4-2-3-1 but Charlie Austin was in the 10 position with Manolo Gabbiadini up front.  Most would have had it the other way round but I’m up for it if it gets our two biggest goal threats on the pitch.  It was 0-0 at half time and then the missing ingredient came to the floor and it was Stuart Taylor going in goal.  Once that happened we were deadly with Matt Targett putting over a great cross for Gabbi to expertly flick home with his head.  Another Targett cross was put away by JWP, making his first appearance since coming back from England U21 duty and the same player slung over a corner for Maya Yoshida to head home for a thoroughly decent 3-0 result.

Back home and word came out that there would be meetings and The Shithouse was hopefully going to be re-integrated into the squad.  Don’t hold your breath as this is a Weapons Grade Shithouse (WGS) we are talking about here and so it proved with more reports that the re-integration wasn’t happening just yet and both sides were described as ‘entrenched’.  Not good but not surprising.  I’ve had enough of referring to the Shithouse by name as he doesn’t deserve it so from here on it, WGS it is.  I know that stood for ‘Wee Gordon Strachan’ and we loved him but that was years ago.

This (the tantrum) is of course what Liverpool want as they steadfastly sit there and do nothing and the media keep it ticking along.  Have you noticed that you never get an ex-Liverpool media pundit saying ‘Don’t sign him – he’s a shithouse’.  Funny that.  It’s almost as if they’re working for Liverpool.  With Coutinho linked the Braca and now Mané with Milan, the hypocrisy is quite staggering.  New levels of straw clutching and patheticness were reached when Alfie Jones came on as a sub against St Etienne wearing 17, which of course was WGS squad number last season.  It’s a sign!!!

All this WGS stuff is exhausting and distracting.  I’ve almost forgotten about us bringing players in which we need to do.  We must be planning for WGS exit and Kevin Wimmer from Spurs has risen to the surface again, as has another Dutchman, Wesley Hoedt from Lazio.  Reassuringly, both are the physical type of centre back we need if WGS leaves.

Augsburg at home and I made the trip as a consolation prize for missing the first two home games and within 10 minutes I wished I hadn’t bothered as it was fucking dreadful.  Augsburg treated it like a proper game and played with the intensity that you should play with if you’re just about to start your season.  We on the other hand, played it like a training game and looked like we couldn’t be arsed.  To be fair, Pellegrino was obviously playing fringe players tonight and we’d see the first team on Sunday against Sevilla.  Of the starting team tonight, I can see only Forster, Romeu, Yoshida and maybe JWP and Redmond starting against Swansea.  You would have thought though, that the others would have been keen to put in a performance to tell the new manager to pick them but not a bit of it.  Pied and Target at full backs were dreadful, especially defensively and their crosses at the other end of the pitch failed to pick out anyone.  Yoshida and Bednarek were awful with Maya not concentrating in the slightest and Bednarek looking like a park player who was thrown in to a game that he clearly wasn’t good enough for.  I’m not writing him off but there’s no way he’ll be near the first team any time soon.  In midfield we were wide open.  Hojbjerg did the odd good thing but both he and Romeu were guilty of giving the ball away too cheaply.  Up front Redmond looked sharp enough and Shane Long started well but tailed off hugely.  And then there was Charlie Austin, lurching about like someone who had necked about ten pints, coming out of a kebab shop at 2am.  Of the substitutes, Sofiane Boufal looked lively and Stephens looked better than Yoshida but overall it was piss poor and the manager acknowledged that at the end.

Augsburg were decent though, not shy of a tackle and they looked ready for their season.  The first goal was a hell of a shot, moving about 4 times in the air.  It’ll look bad on Fraser but honestly, I was right behind it and he had no chance.  The second goal was hilariously bad.  It started off with Pied giving the ball away under no pressure and ended with a corner.  Over it came and Austin totally failed to jump with his man and a free header for 2-0.  To be fair to Charlie, he had a full pint in one hand and a kebab and a lit cigarette in the other and he didn’t spill a drop or get ash on his kebab or anything.  The third goal was a free kick slung in from the right and Stephens and Bednarek were nowhere as a free header was nodded into the net.  Under 12s defending right there – no defensive leader and no one taking responsibility.  No 4 highlighted our lack of midfield as the lad just walked forward to the edge of the box with no challenge and buried it.

We are in desperate need of a proper central defender – still.  Regardless of the WGS situation we need one anyway.  I saw three centre backs tonight who need a dominant partner who will struggle on their own.  It reminds me of how much we got away it last season.  Also, the formation that Mauricio seems to favour with three attacking midfielders and a striker really demands that we have two proper defensive midfielders and we currently have just the one.  I do wonder where JWP, Hojbjerg, Clasie and Davis fit in.

Meanwhile back in WGS land – I am relieved to tell you that Phil Thompson is still alive –and in a shock twist, he’s got the same opinion as all the other thirteen ex-Liverpool pundits.  Michael Owen has also shocked no one by having the same tedious boring opinion as everyone else.  Out of all these ex-Liverpool pundits – not one has questioned the fact that WGS is obviously a bit of a dodgy character.  Not one.  In addition, his international manager Dick Advocaat has said that his actions are perfectly acceptable and understandable and hopes he moves to Liverpool.  If that’s not bringing the game into disrepute I don’t know what is.  Think about it – an international manager encouraging players to go on strike.

Saturday and the Sevilla friendly and Saints made an effort to make us forget that Augsburg happened, making a big show of presenting the new manager and coaching staff to the crowd like it was his first game.  It of course helped that it wasn’t pissing down and a lot more people turned up to watch. Still staggered with how inept the fringe players were on Wednesday, I wasn’t expecting much but we looked decent on the whole.  Having the proper full backs made a huge difference and Jack Stephens had a superb game bringing the ball out of defence and generally looking like a quality footballer.  Maya on the other hand was sloppy as you like and he’s going to find himself on the bench pretty quickly as soon as we buy another centre back… not before though because after picking up a knock he was replaced by Bednarek who once again, showed that he’s not ready.  Out of position and not winning headers which should be meat and drink to a big centre back.  Put it this way – I think Florin Gardos would be better than him.

So – we have a bit of a weakness at centre back and we have another in defensive midfield where Davis is Davis – tidy on the ball and with great energy but lacking when not on the ball.  He has a habit of leaving the player he’s supposed to be marking and against good sides, that’s going to bite us.  He also of course gets bossed out of games against physical midfielders.  Though he has his limitations, I think possibly Clasie would be a better bet to play next to Romeu and I was a bit disappointed he wasn’t given the 2^nd half to stake a claim.  Romeu was back to something approaching his best after being dodgy in midweek.  He got a couple of challenges in that would have got him booked in the league.  He would have pulled out of a couple of tackles in a proper game but today I think he just thought ‘fuck it’ and enjoyed steaming in to people.

On the wings, Tadic was preferred to Boufal and overall he did very little to justify that aside from being involved in the 2^nd goal and Redmond hardly seemed to get involved at all.  Gabbiadini was superb  though and it was great to see him finish off the 2^nd goal.  His movement and willingness to run into spaces and keep defenders on their toes makes our attacking play and he seemed to link well with JWP who in the first half in particular was pushed right forward into the No 10 role.  There’s still not really enough goal threat from Tadic, Redmond and JWP but we looked decent.

The game was won with a Stephens shanked volley following a Gabbi flick on from a JWP corner and a lovely move on the break where Tadic and Davis combined well to set to Gabbi to finish well under the keeper.  It was the kind of opportunity that Shane Long would have controlled to the keeper or smashed it at the moon.  Jake Flannigan got a few minutes at right back and looked better than Jeremy Pied and I think it was telling that Austin was left on the bench with his 8 cans of lager and kebab.

The post-Sevilla optimism bubble was burst with what was the next logical step at Shithouse Central as WGS officially handed in a transfer request, therefore effectively handing Sainst between £6 million and £7 million quid.  I’d like to place on record my thanks to WGS and his agent for this generous gesture.  There was a statement of course, which seeked to shift the blame and point the Shithouse finger at the club.  It was a pure work of comedy and therefore I feel it’s best to highlight the best bit which was his disappointment at discussions with Saints ending up in the media.  Yep, he had a go at Saints almost from a moral standpoint about lleaking stuff to the media.  He wants to join Liverpool ladies and gentleman.  Anyway, I covered his statement here….

http://leagueoneminus10.blogspot.pt/2017/08/vvd-statement-post-bullshit-translator.html

Anyway, nothing’s really changed, the transfer request hasn’t been accepted and no one including his precious Liverpool have made a bid. 

Les Reed’s status as a legend got cemented a bit more with WGS handing in a transfer request and then it got even better for our Director of Football when he got upgraded to God of Football with the signing of Mario Lemina from Juventus.  He played as a sub in the Champions League final a few months ago, same as Toby Alderweireld did for Atletico Madrid before he signed for us.  That loan deal went sour of course but this is a proper transfer and addresses the defensive midfield issue identified earlier.  I’m only going on reports and You Tube videos but a midfield of Romeu and Lemina sounds pretty tasty.  It challenges players like Steven Davis, JWP and Pierre Hojbjerg to up their game and makes both the starting XI and the squad stronger.

So here we are and here we go.  WGS has a virus and Coutinho has just handed in a transfer request at Liverpool.  Oh the irony as social media becomes fun again.  A new season, the same old depressing stuff about the state of the game but the Saints are Coming.  7^th this season please lads.

Saints new signing playing against Coutinho's New Team mates

VVD Statement Post Bullshit Translator

VVD Statement After It's Gone Through the Bullshit Translator

"Over the past six months I have held numerous discussions with representatives of the board, the former manager Claude Puel as well as the new manager Mauricio Pellegrino to inform them all of my desire to leave the club in search of a new challenge and more money.  I have also had numerous discussions with my new agent and Jurgen Klopp of Liverpool.  I know that this is against the rules and so did Liverpool FC and Jurgen Klopp but we all ignored that.

"I am incredibly ambitious and want to achieve as much as I possibly can to fulfil my potential in what is a very short career as a professional footballer and make as much money as I can for me and my agent. I want to play European football again and challenge for major honours and as such I would like Southampton to consider the interest in me from top clubs should it still exist. I realise that no one has put a bid in for my services and that I cannot mention Liverpool by name.

"I have been left frustrated by the club's position not to let me move I am not for sale one year after I signed a six year contract which made me captain and made me the highest paid player in Southampton history and am disappointed that enquiries from multiple top clubs and those that haven’t won the league since before I was born have been consistently rebuffed.

"The period of time that I have just spent injured and unable to play has put a number of things into perspective and made me realise just how important it is to take major opportunities should they arise.  So I put the wheels in motion to get away from Southampton, during the six months that Southampton were getting me fit to play again.

"I have consistently relayed my feelings to senior management at Southampton in what I believed to be private and personal conversations. Disappointingly, these conversations have regularly found their way into the media.  I know this didn’t happen until late July which is well after the club I wanted to join were leaking everything to the media in spectacular fashion.

"I would also like to make clear that I have never once refused to train because that is about me, though playing in pre-season matches, fulfilling media responsibilities and supporting my fellow Southampton FC players at the End of Season Players Awards Night is another matter. I can confirm that I was asked about my frame of mind and for all of the reasons mentioned above I was open and honest because that’s the kind of guy I am, in saying that I did not feel I was in a settled mindset given the circumstances.

"Following this conversation the manager explained that he only wanted players who he felt were 100% committed to Southampton and told me I would therefore have to train away from the first team.

"As a proud professional (I will look up this word later) I am insulted by the suggestion that it was me who refused to train and so feel it is important to point out the true version of events.  The truth, or selected parts of it anyway, is very important to me"